Page 85 of Christmas with Brother's Best Friends

“I don’t even know what today’s date is,” I mutter as I turn on my phone to check the date at the top of my screen. My heart immediately sinks when I realize that it’s the 3rd of the month.

Specifically, the 3rd ofthismonth.

“Shit,” I breathe out as I sink down on the couch, a flood of grief hitting me like a wave.

How did I not realize today wastoday?

Emma abandons the onesies and hurries over to me, her hand touching my shoulder. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

I can’t tear my eyes away from the screen, staring at the date like I’m entranced. “It’s…Jenny’s birthday today.”

Emma sits down next to me and takes my hand. “I’m so sorry, Max. I completely forgot.”

I can’t blame her because I’m the one who forgot my own little sister’s birthday. “I can’t believe it has already been five years since we lost her. It feels like yesterday I got that call.”

Emma leans her head against my shoulder. “I should’ve come home for the funeral. I’m so sorry that I didn’t.”

I shake my head. “You weren’t even in the country, Em. We all understood. The flowers you sent were her favorite ones.”

Five years ago, a car crash ended my little sister’s life. According to the doctors, she died instantly, but it’s hard to find more than just a little bit of comfort from that. She’s still gone. She’d justgraduated with her bachelor’s and was so full of life and hope for the future.

Only for it all to be taken away from her because someone wasn’t paying attention.

That was the only time I feared for the closeness and stability of my family. The grief almost tore us apart at first, but it ended up bringing us closer together as time went on. We definitely hold each other a little tighter now.

“Hold on,” Emma says before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

I breathe in and out deeply and slowly, fighting off the wave of emotions that threaten to make me feel like I’m suffocating. I can’t count how many bad dreams and borderline panic attacks that I’ve had over Jenny’s death. I just started truly healing, but her birthday and the anniversary of her death destroy me all over again.

Thuds, clangs, and beeps sound from the kitchen, and I’m not sure how much time passes until Emma brings two mugs full of what looks like chocolate cake over to me. Mine has a single birthday candle sticking out of it.

“Microwave cakes,” Emma explains before lighting the candle with a lighter. She sits down next to me and gives me a warm smile. “For Jenny.”

Jenny always loved Emma. They weren’t too far away in age, and even though they had different friend groups, they still borrowed clothes from each other and acted like family.

“Thank you,” I tell her before looking at the candle flame and blowing it out for Jenny.

Emma wraps her arm around my shoulders and leans against me. “She’d be so happy and proud of you and all you’ve done.”

My heart aches as I lift my eyes to hers. It becomes so damn clear to me in an instant.

I love her. I need her so damn bad that it hurts, and I wish I had the courage to tell her. She deserves to know.

But there’s something else weighing on my chest that I can’t shake. I don’t want to wait until someone else dies before I say what needs to be said. Life’s too short for secrets.

“We need to tell everyone the truth soon,” I say.

Emma’s eyes widen. “About us and the baby?”

I inhale deeply and nod as tension winds around my chest, squeezing tighter. “Ethan and Andrew are like my brothers. I don’t want to lose them, and I get that we might if we tell them the truth, but the longer that we wait, the worse they’ll take the news.”

Emma swallows hard, but she nods. ““I know you’re right,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “I just… I’m terrified. It’s getting harder to hide that I’m pregnant.”

“You’ll start showing soon,” I tell her with a look of adoration on my face.

Emma’s eyes glimmer a little as she smiles. “Before we know it.”

I lean forward and rest my head against hers. “It’ll be scary telling them, but we can’t put off the inevitable for much longer. The baby will be here soon, and we’ll need to focus on them.”