Page 17 of Chosen Spirits (The Bartender Mage #4)

While Leif tried to parse that statement from the fragments of thought that his brain supplied him— What?

She what? My help? Isn't she a century-plus-year-old sorceress?

Aren't I just a gay-ass, magic-dabbling bartender ?

—he noticed Rahul nudge the camera he'd dropped so that it was facing the elf, then felt him wrap his arm around his shoulder.

Looking up at him, it seemed that Rahul was a lot more collected now, having heard the oath, and his guardian bear gave him a reassuring squeeze before addressing I'ari .

"A good afternoon to you, Lady I'ari, if I may call you that without offense. My name is Rahul Basu, which I suspect that you already know. I would like to ask on Leif's behalf, what kind of aid are you seeking, and why must it be Leif that provides it?"

"Lady I'ari you may call me without offense.

" She held her hand up in front of her heart, fingers extended.

"If it would speed things along, I pledge to consider all words you each say in a light that is most favorable to you, so you may speak freely and informally without fear of me stealing your selves or condemning you to slave in underground mines for a century. Does that help, dear?"

"Yeah, that's helpful, thanks. So?"

"I will tell you a story," she said, putting her hands back in her pockets.

"It is short. Thirty years ago, I found a loophole that allowed me to refuse a planned marriage, which went against the expectations of my station.

I left my home, I left my kinsmen, I left the Order of Arbiters, and, I thought, I left the rest of my past behind.

I moved to Michigan and took the name Olivia.

I lived happily. Then, four years ago, a relative of one of the persons that I had bound in my ordered duties came seeking familial revenge.

This individual bore a weapon, a soul-stealing mask, one that you both are familiar with. "

Leif gasped, reaching around to hug Rahul.

"I was able to stop them, but not before they used the mask on someone close to me.

Their usage of the mask… they took away everything about this person, their interests, their drives, their entire personality.

I did what I could to help this person in the aftermath, and they've since recovered, but they aren't the same as they were before. "

"Could you not, um, return the spirit back?"

"The would-be-assassin was a far more capable mage than the young man you encountered.

The soul theft was thorough. And for all my talents, I am not a spiritmancer.

Not like you." I'ari bent down and lifted away the silken cover, revealing a gilded cage with a decanter inside that positively glowed to Leif's spirit senses.

"I managed to at least retrieve the lost essence, but I have no means of restoring it to whom it belongs. That is what I am asking of you, Leif."

Leif studied the contained spirit for a moment, then shook his head slowly. "I don't know if I can do what you ask, Lady. I'm not sensing a connection like with the soul shards I helped with before. Four years is too a long time, maybe."

"I ask that you try, Leif Becken. I have it on good authority that you will succeed in some way."

"Whose good authority, Lady?" Rahul asked in a tone that Leif recognized as his polite yet searching for a way to tear your argument to shreds because I don't like you personally manner of speech. "Perhaps you have been talking to one of our friends or acquaintances?"

I'ari shook her head. "Prophecies and divinations, Rahul Basu.

The very hour the incident happened, I was looking for a cure.

When my own efforts failed, and with no magi friends remaining to me outside of the Free Glades, I sought out information on how to heal this person.

Prophecy told me to wait, and I was given glimpses of Leif. "

"There's a big flaw, there. Leif wasn't aware of his magic four years ago."

"As I discovered to my chagrin, yes. I continued seeking answers, and a year ago I learned that there was a second half to the equation, which required that I take action to make the prophecy hold true. I needed to take the soul mask that I had confiscated, and release it out into the world."

"You did what? "

Leif was surprised to find that the shout came from his own mouth. He shook his head roughly.

"Lady, that thing was dangerous, and the guy who used it hurt a lot of people. Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't intend for others to come to harm," she said.

"I simply gave it to a woman identified in a vision.

I had assumed that this would set forth a chain of events so that the mask would fall into your hands, somehow, and that you would unlock your spirit magic in that manner.

I didn't think that she would simply put it up for auction, resulting in the human aggressor purchasing it and then using it on innocents. "

"Is that what you've been doing with the unbindings, Lady?" Rahul challenged. "Setting monsters free, heedless of the consequences, to fulfill prophecies?"

She shook her head. "Leif's was the only prophecy I had. All the rest of it, the beings that I've released, are to honor justice and make amends."

"What justice is there in this? People have gotten hurt!"

"In small ways, yes, Leif," she agreed. "But I think that the two of you will readily understand after answering a few simple questions. Tell me. What became of the living lantern? The one that behaves like a cantankerous old busybody at a ball who knows she can't be kicked out?"

"The Faerie lantern?" Rahul asked. "I don't know if I should tell you that, out of concern for those who harbor her."

"It is a rhetorical question to illustrate a point. I know where she is."

Rahul nodded, apparently accepting it as fact. "She is being housed by two elven sisters, who are working to rehabilitate her. "

"And where was she before I asked Manoreth to release her?"

"Fuck, it was you after all, then?" Leif saw her nod, and Rahul crossed his arms. "She was bound in warded concrete, and about to be sold at an estate sale to whomever wanted a fancy centerpiece."

"Yes. Next, where are the twin spirits that make up the unfortunate Gassau Beast? Again, rhetorical."

"At this point, Lady? Probably having a discussion with a telepathic counselor to find out if they want to be separated or not. Maybe on their way to a nice wilderness home."

"And where were they before I released them?"

"You should know, you're the one that originally bound them and left them isolated for decades… wait." Rahul uncrossed his arms.

"And Manoreth?"

Leif looked up at his boyfriend, who seemed conflicted. He reached out with his spirit magic, checking him over, but it didn't seem like he was under any kind of bewitching effect that he could detect.

"He's currently in Minneapolis, in a prison cell equivalent," Rahul admitted slowly. "But he gets regular visitors. Psychiatrists, scholars, and also a number of artisans who want to learn from a master jeweler. His ego allows it."

Lady I'ari nodded, and Leif heard Rahul swear.

"Rahul, what is it?"

"I don't think I can fault her much, cub."

I'ari seemed pleased. "There's a word in elvish that we use, which roughly means 'until memory becomes dust.' That's how long most of these persons have been condemned to be bound for, Leif.

Except that conveniently, once everyone forgets why and where they're bound, it no longer becomes possible to release them afterwards.

'Out of sight, out of mind,' I suppose?"

Leif shook his head. "That's not… it's still not right, what you're doing."

"Do you want me to stop, then? These persons were originally guilty, often of heinous crimes, I do not argue that, or their innocence.

But how long does penance take? Ten years?

A hundred? Some have been bound for a thousand years, and if the mythic council won't handle matters properly, I feel that someone should. "

"No, people definitely shouldn't be imprisoned for a lifetime, but this still isn't okay !

" Leif was having trouble articulating.

He was angry. Angry at her for causing these issues, angry at Rahul for agreeing with her, and angry at himself for getting angry because at the core, they were right.

"It's just… you're behaving willy-nilly, and people are getting hurt! "

Leif stormed forward, making it two steps before Rahul lurched out to wrap his arms around him, holding him in place.

"You think you made a mistake for, for seventy years, or whatever, working for a mythic council that dropped some pretty big balls, it sounds like.

Ones that ended up hurting you and your friend.

Okay, I get that.That wasn't cool.And now you feel bad!

But fixing the wrongs the way you're doing, you're just putting the onus of repair on everyone else, and risking a lot of lives in the process.

You're almost single-handedly straining first-responders in the state! "

"Putting a strain on mythic council resources is part of the message, dear."

"Then you should be freeing bindings in the Free Glades, not here where DOMA has to clean up your mess.

You're supposed to be super smart and stuff, right?

And this is the best you could come up with?

Releasing the most dangerous ones?There are plenty of groups who would love to help you do this safely!

But instead you, you do this. And plus.

Plus!I thought you swore I had nothing to fear from you, right?

Well, the people you've been freeing have left me scared and terrified as fuck. "

"Leif," Rahul said urgently.

"That astral creep Matthew hurt my boyfriends with your mask, and attacked me. Manoreth took over Rahul, and I came close to losing him forever."

Leif made to duck out from Rahul's arms, but his boyfriend had him held tight.He glared at I'ari instead, through obscuring tears.

"But maybe things from before your oath don't matter," Leif spat, lips trembling.

Wild, he felt wild, the words just pouring forth.

"But what about after, huh? I saw, I saw the Gassau Beast. I was there, just a few nights ago, pouring all my magic into bottles until I fainted , trying to do everything I could to keep my two boyfriends safe while they subdued it, but I can only make so many potions at once, and I only know so many recipes.

What if I wasted energy making the wrong potion?

What if a speed potion would have saved Tucker's life, but I'd chosen instead to make an armor one?

I spent that entire fight worrying, because you freed the fish and washed your hands afterwards.

I was scared. What if that was the night that one of them…

one of them wouldn't come back home? What if I was too slow with a healing potion?

What if too many people had been injured, and I ran out of enough ingredients to make what was needed?

Tell, me, I'ari, just how good is your oath, if—"

Rahul clamped a hand over his mouth painfully. "Shh. Shh, Leif. Don't say the words. It's okay, it's fine. Everything you're feeling is valid. But don't say them, that's not you, and you'd regret it."

Leif bit back a scream, and found himself sobbing into Rahul's palm.

Oathbreaker.

He could say it. He'd be following the Rules. It wouldn't utterly destroy her, as they weren't in a Faerie realm, but truth was part and parcel to what the rare noble elves were, and she'd sworn on her name, on who she was.

It wouldn't destroy her, just merely cause lasting physical and mental harm, probably. And maybe it wouldn't count anyways, since all of the fear she had caused him was second hand, an indirect result of her actions.

Oh, except for him being afraid to be at home by himself for weeks, or afraid of working his normal bar shifts in case she returned—

No!Don't think about that, don't try to find a way to make it stick.

He didn't want to. He knew he didn't, he was just frustrated and hurt . He felt defensive, and wanted to lash out.

If she hadn't been interfering in his life, his boyfriends wouldn't have been put in nearly as much danger this last year.

If she hadn't interfered, he would have never met his boyfriends at all.

Leif whimpered, then relaxed. He tapped at Rahul's hand, and after a moment, Rahul let him go. Leif sniffed, then wiped at his eyes. He looked up at the face of I'ari, who was looking back, resigned and expectant.

"Lady I'ari," Leif said, wringing his hands together. "I… I forgive you. I forgive you for all slights you have made against me and mine, real or imagined. You have held to your oath."

"…thank you, dear." Lady I'ari leaned down, touching the cage.

"If it will give you peace of mind, I'll hold off on further unbindings for a time while I think over what you've said.

Pe rhaps enough has already been done, and the mythic council and their arbiters will manage things properly in the future, or others will champion my cause. "

"Okay. And, um, I also free you from the oath you made to me.

" He heard Rahul rumble a caution, so he hastened to add, "I don't mean offense by doing so.

It's just, well, oaths are kind of a soft binding, aren't they?

I don't want to, um, move forward, with that around us.

Especially since forever bindings really aren't cool.

I, yeah, um, I think we're all on the same page about that. "

Rahul's rumbles intensified, and he hugged Leif against his front.

"And Lady, I'll take on your request. I'll try to find a way to help this person."

If I'ari said anything in response, Leif couldn't hear it through the white noise in his head.

Crying a little, Leif watched as a blurry I'ari turned to make her way out of the glade, leaving the decanter behind.

Snagglefawn expanded back across the sky, a small portion of himself speaking to her as she went.

After a time, he felt Rahul kiss him on the top of his head, and he looked up, hiccuping.

"We're not going to get to see your actor friends today, are we."

"Sorry, cub. Let's pack up and head on back, we need to make a stop at HQ."