Page 1 of Chosen Spirits (The Bartender Mage #4)
"Leif Becken?" the gnome attendant asked. "Apprentice Leif?"
Shouldering his alchemist's kit, Leif got to his feet and joined his friend and mentor, Julia Winters, in approaching the circular reception desk.
"Hi again," he said, clutching his spellbook to his chest.
The diminutive woman behind the desk pushed some red-rimmed glasses up her nose as she double-checked something on her computer screen, then used a heart-shaped laser pointer to indicate a massive ledger, circling a spot for his name. "Sign there, if you please!"
Leif dipped a nearby quill into an ink pot, signed his name with a flourish that he'd spent several hours practicing for just this occasion, then handed the quill to Julia so that she could do the same as his sponsor.
"Thank you so boysenberry much!" The attendant hopped off of her elevated chair and stepped onto a hands-free segway, leading the way down the expansive hall. "This way, follow me!"
Her motorized speed was slow enough that even Leif's short strides could keep up.
Using the spare moment the walk afforded him, Leif went through a few mental exercises he'd learned during his years of college wrestling to settle the butterflies in his stomach.
He reminded himself that the queasy feeling was simply his body providing him some unwanted flight-or-fight adrenaline, and not any actual sign of nervousness.
He was calm. He was prepared. There was absolutely nothing to worry about.
And if he kept telling himself that, maybe he'd believe it, too.
Their pink-haired guide—she and Leif had already bonded over having the same hair color—stopped in front of an ornate door with lion-carved handles.
"Good luck!" she said brightly. "I'm rooting for you, champ. Let me know how it goes!"
Driving backwards, Ms. Pinkie Sunblossom waved an encouraging farewell, giving him two hyperactive thumbs up. He found that he was smiling, then hurried to wave back to her before she'd turned a corner.
Yeah, he had this.
Leif looked up at Julia, who gave him a solemn nod as she took over carrying his book, then turned back to the door. Grabbing both handles, he opened the double-doors wide enough for their passage and proceeded through.
The examination room was as well-designed as the rest of the university that Leif had seen, with gold runners along the walls and elaborately sculpted pillars set at intervals.
Ten-foot-tall stained glass windows let in a warm light that broke up the austerity, as did the hanging ivy and potted plants.
The two of them first went to a side table, depositing his book and backpack. While Julia remained on the sidelines, Leif then strode to the central diagram set in front of a table where his three evaluators were observing him.
He waited.
"Supplicant of the Arts Mysterious ," the woman on the right intoned, standing. She flipped back the extended waist of her tuxedo, revealing a pair of wands sheathed at her left hip. "You stand within the sacred halls— "
"Oh, bugger the long-winded speech," the older man on the left said. Stroking his long beard, he kicked his feet up onto the table, showcasing a pair of fluffy bunny slippers. "He's here, we're here, and the sooner we get done, the sooner we can take our lunch. I'm hungry."
The craggy troll that was seated between them coughed politely into her elbow, then reached for a crystal water pitcher that she used to refill a stein. "You do know that there's nothing in the bylaws preventing you from bringing a snack, right?"
"Yes, but if I have a snack, then I eat less for lunch, and that diminishes the entire experience. Anyways, welcome, apprentice! I'm Professor Engelmann, you can call me Dewey. To my immediate left is Professor Holly—"
"Professor or Seer, please."
"—and to my far left is Magus Nakatomi. You will refer to her as either Magus, or Magus Nakatomi."
Nakatomi made a sour face as she looked at her associates, then made an exaggerated eye roll. "I suppose we can cut out the prelude, but some formalities must still be observed. So. Is there anyone in attendance who chooses to present this apprentice?"
Julia stepped forward. "I, Julia Valentine Winters, runic mage, warden and binder of man, spirit, and beast, do present this apprentice."
"I see you, mage," Nakatomi said, and Julia moved back to stand beside the table with Leif's equipment. "Apprentice! Who are you?"
Leif squared himself, lifting his head a fraction. "I am Leif."
Nakatomi paused, then glanced at Julia, giving her a frown. "Is that all? No filiation, no patronymics? Traditionally, apprentice, even if you have no titles— "
"Who has titles nowadays?" Dewey said, tapping his foot on the table.
"—you should state something like 'Leif, child of whomever,' as the case may be."
Leif shook his head. Julia had gone over this portion of the evaluation with him, and given him what he needed to know. "I grant no family the privilege of acknowledgement."
"Oh, damn," Dewey said. "Sorry to hear that, young man. Well, regardless of who disowned whom, you've identified yourself, so let's move on. Magus?"
"Apprentice Leif, you stand before us to be evaluated for whether you deserve to be promoted to the rank of Journeyman Mage."
"Certification, in the modern parlance," Dewey again interrupted.
"Yes, that. Before we begin testing, we have one question that by custom and law we are required to ask all candidates.
Leif, you who have already identified yourself, are you, to the best of your own knowledge or the knowledge of those closest to you, possessed by a demon, spirit, or other extraplanar being, and have designs to take over, subjugate, or otherwise harm the majority of the world or its populations? "
While Leif took a second to process the question, Dewey wagged a finger at him.
"That's possession and world domination, mind you. Nothing wrong with a bit of ambition in a prospective mage, in my personal opinion. We'd probably keep a closer eye on you in the future, but answering 'yes' doesn't disqualify you."
"Exactly," Holly agreed. "And so long as the possession is mutually consensual, that's fine as well. Why, I remember a lovely cruise where I met this charming visceral horror and her host, and the three of us had the most romantic summer fling!"
"Apprentice Leif," Magus Nakatomi pressed. "Yes or no?"
"No, Magus."
"Right, that settles that, then. Let's start the evaluation." She sat back down in her chair and paged through a packet of papers. "Holly, I think it's your turn to do the scans?"
"Already working on it." Pushing back carefully from the table, Holly reached beneath it and pulled out an animal crate, within which a brown hen was waking up and making inquisitive clucking sounds. The troll withdrew the chicken as she circled in front of the table, then—
" Ora ki Ooatana !" she chanted loudly as she threw her head back, stamping the floor with a thunderous resound.
Leif flinched at the noise, and then gasped out loud when Holly lowered her head down and savagely bit off the head of the chicken.
As she chewed on her morsel, Holly shifted her grip to hold the chicken by the legs and began making a circle of blood around Leif.
Once the Seer had completed her circuit, she paused to give Leif an encouraging, bloody grin.
Leif smiled tentatively back, and then abruptly shut his mouth when Holly spun the chicken in a wide, vicious circle above her head, raining far too much blood around the room, far more than what a single chicken should have in its body.
As she finished her spell and returned to her spot behind her desk, Leif looked down worriedly to check his outfit, but the shimmering drops of blood were already evaporating out of his clothes and gathering into a cloud of glowing mist over their heads. He let out a relieved breath.
The dress code for the evaluation had directed Leif to dress his best, which Julia had explained meant to dress in clothes that best represented him .
For the highly-trained and experienced agent of the Department of Mythic Affairs, Julia's choice was apparently bell-bottom jeans, a T-shirt referencing a Scandinavian film, and a two-puff afro.
For Leif, part-time bartender, psychology student, and "heroic gay stripper" as one of his boyfriends had once described him, he'd settled on a blend of his work and dating outfits.
A wine-red, velvet waistcoat over a white dress-shirt with the cuffs rolled and the top buttons undone.
Dark slacks and curb stomper boots. And of course he had touched up both his faux hawk haircut and his blonde roots with fresh pink hair dye.
Throw on a bubble-gum pink jockstrap, nipple rings, clear zirconia stud earrings, and then top the whole thing off with a dusting of gold glitter, and Leif felt at the top of his game.
"Begin when you're ready, apprentice," Holly said as she retook her seat.
"Thank you, Professor," he said, joining Julia at the side table and undoing the latches on his bartending kit.
"So, hi! I'm Leif, which, um, I think I already said, right?
Anyways, I primarily think of myself as an alchemist. I have an inborn wellspring of spirit energy, which I have discovered lets me infuse alcoholic substances in order to mix a variety of magical cocktails. "
"Oh, it's the alcohol mage!" Dewey nudged Holly on the shoulder. "You were looking forward to this one. Apprentice, that's your spellbook, yes?"
Leif looked up from where he was setting up his bartending tools. "Oh, for sure, that's right. It explains the effects of each of my potions, and has my few non-alchemy abilities listed in the back.It also doubles as a cocktail recipe book."