Page 49
Now he’s going to ask you why you have only one photo of your mother and none of your grandfather .
She waited. But the questions didn’t come.
He lowered his head and kissed her forehead. A tender kiss. “Your nonno was a lucky man. To be loved like that by you.”
He swept his thumbs gently across her lashes and down the sides of her face, sweeping the tears away.
Should she tell him? If not all of it, some of it?
She thought back to those things she’d admitted during that Never Have I Ever game.
Should she tell him the truth about her being handcuffed to a bedpost?
Tell him that Uncle Jack and Aunt Milly had done it in those early days to make certain she wouldn’t run away when they went out?
Should she tell him Uncle Jack and Aunt Milly weren’t really her uncle and aunt?
They were just a couple of grifters who found it useful to have a little girl when trying to con people.
Should she tell him about the black eye and the scar?
That Mickey, the man she’d run away with when she was sixteen, had given them to her.
That when she’d refused to do something he’d asked her to do and he told her it was okay and kissed her, that as he’d kissed her, he’d sliced the back of her head with a knife.
She shivered.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
She shook her head.
He must be wondering about the scar.
She stiffened every time he touched it.
It was one thing to tell him about Uncle Jack and Aunt Milly.
But Mickey? She was older then. She was that woman he met on New Year’s Eve in Drink and Dive.
How could she tell him that? If she did, he would never look at her the same way again.
He would never say her grandfather was a lucky man to be loved by her. All this would be gone.
Rocco watched her swallow. He could see her throat was tight. It seemed difficult for her to tell him even this much about her past.
He wondered about that scar. Whenever he touched it, she became rigid. He tried not to because he could feel her body grow cold; but sometimes in the midst of his passion and their lovemaking, it happened by accident.
He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to tell him about it, but if she wanted to, she could. He wanted her to know she could trust him. He had the feeling that trust didn’t come easy for her. And he knew what that felt like.
In a week, they’d be back to racing. It was hard to believe, given neither one of them had talked about it. He suspected Nico might have told Charles about their relationship. But he’d told no one. Not even Dario.
He’d intended to tell his cousin and had phoned him when he’d gone out for coffee, but then decided against it, recalling the concern Dario had expressed about this very thing. He hadn’t even told Dario that Nico had come with him to visit his family.
His family knew. They knew without him telling them a thing. He could see it on their faces. But of course, they would leave it to him to make the news public. Did he want to? Did she want to?
He hated to think about what the press would do with such information. How Casey and the team would react. The other drivers. Even Dario might make things difficult. And Carolyn?
He felt a sudden desire to tell Nico. To tell her everything. He drew a deep breath. Maybe she’d already figured it out from what he’d said. But he needed to say the words—aloud—to her.
“The married woman I had an affair with. Maybe you’ve already guessed. That was Carolyn Wickham.”
“Oh.”
“When I met her, it was the night after my third F3 championship trophy. After celebrating with the team, I went alone to a bar. I couldn’t get the thrill that ran through me to stop or even slow down.
It was as though my blood were made of high-octane fuel.
And she was there. And sure, she was attractive, but it was talking about the race that really roused my interest. She’d seen the race and seemed to understand what I was feeling. ”
He paused.
“I already told you it was really bad the way I found out she was married. It was the day I signed on with Blue Jet Lightning. I was so thrilled. I was going to be a Formula 1 driver. I shook her husband’s hand as he welcomed me to the team with her standing by his side, acting as though we’d never met.
She hadn’t even warned me ahead of time. I felt like such an ass.
“I could have stopped things then. I should have. But I didn’t. At first, I thought it was just a wild coincidence. Later, I discovered it wasn’t, and what’s more she’d been the one to suggest bringing me on.”
Nico placed her hand on his cheek. “You don’t have to—”
“I know I don’t. I want to.”
She placed her head back on his chest, and he stroked her hair.
“I began to have doubts. There were other F2 drivers every bit as good as me, not to mention a couple drivers in F1 who were without contracts. That kind of thinking—let’s just say it wasn’t good for my confidence. It didn’t seem to matter if I won or not.
“I know my family and Dario want to blame the last few years on her, and I’m not saying she hasn’t done things to undermine me and make it difficult, but she didn’t have any power over me that I didn’t give her.
I was the one who doubted myself. Those doubts—that’s why I was so raw about those tweets of yours. ”
She hugged him. “I understand.”
“And it doesn’t change things for you? I mean, with me?”
She lifted her head and gazed up at him. “No. Why would it?”
He shrugged. “Maybe I’m not the man you thought I was. Maybe it changes the way you see me.”
She shook her head. “No. You’re still the same annoying, arrogant, asshole, prick.”
He laughed. “What?”
“It’s what Charles and I used to call you. Before I really knew you. Said with affection, of course.”
He grinned. “Of course.”
She placed her head back on his chest. He felt her tremble.
He kissed the top of her head and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
“And what if you learned things about me that surprised you?” she asked. “Would that change how you feel? About me?”
He tried to look at her, but she kept her head on his chest and wouldn’t look up at him. Her voice sounded different. He thought about that photo, the drawing, Templeton, and the fact that he knew nothing about her life after her nonno died.
But none of that matters.
“You’re forgetting,” he said, hugging her tighter, wanting to reassure her, “I already learned plenty of things when we played that drinking game. That doesn’t change anything. Nothing you tell me will.”
She remained silent.
It’s because we start racing in a week. She’s wondering about it too. Later tonight or maybe tomorrow, I’ll bring it up, and we’ll figure it out.
He held her tight, placing his chin on top of her head.
“You still haven’t finished the fairy tale,” he murmured, feeling himself drowning in all this uncertainty, and feeling certain about only one thing—she must feel herself drowning too.
She looked up at him and smiled, and he felt a rush of relief as though they’d both made it back to terra firma.
“Ah, yes,” she said, “the little prince. Where were we?”
“I’ll tell you where we were,” he grumbled.
“The dude has a swollen, enormous, and repulsive head. He can’t run, he can’t even walk without toppling over, and no one wants to bathe or feed him anymore.
As a matter fact, he’s so repulsive, no one wants to even look at him, including this mysterious stranger who refuses to come to the castle. ”
She giggled. “Right. Well, every command given by the little prince was refused by the stranger. So, finally the little prince asked politely if the stranger would please come to the castle, and the stranger did.
“The little prince was surprised when he saw the stranger. He was expecting a big, strong man, perhaps someone who he might befriend and knight as he had Knight Dario. But the stranger was nothing but an ordinary girl.”
Rocco sighed. “Should have seen it coming.”
“The little prince wondered how this girl could have managed to make the treacherous and difficult voyage to his remote kingdom.
“So, he asked her. And her answer was simple.
“She told him it was because she wanted to. And if she wanted to do something, she did it.
“So, the little prince asked her if she wanted to bathe him. He told her all the women in the castle did so and considered it a great honor. But she told him no, she didn’t want to, and she left.
“The next day, he asked her again to come to the castle. This time, he asked if she wanted to feed him. She gave him a funny look and shook her head. But she told him she was hungry and that she would eat lunch with him, but he would have to feed himself.
“The little prince didn’t like this answer, but he thought she must want to spend time with him or she wouldn’t have suggested having lunch. So, they sat down to a splendid table and ate.”
“Did they have casonsei?” Rocco asked.
Nico tilted her head, looking up at him and smiling. “They did. And chocolate.”
“And jelly doughnuts.”
“And jelly doughnuts,” she echoed.
“After lunch,” Nico continued, “the little prince asked her if she would like to stay. ‘And do what?’ she asked. The little prince thought. She had told him she didn’t want to bathe him and she didn’t want to feed him.
“‘You can dress me,’ he said.
“‘But you’re already dressed,’ she replied.
“‘But I’ll need to change into my pajamas before I go to sleep,’ he said.
“‘But it isn’t even dark out yet,’ she said.
“The little prince glanced out the window. It was true. He hadn’t thought about that. ‘Well, then you can leave now,’ he said, ‘and come back later when it’s dark.’
“She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t want to,’ she replied. ‘You can dress yourself.’
“He sighed, but before she left, he asked if she would come again tomorrow, and she agreed.
“When she came the next day, he asked if she would read to him. She said he could read himself. But she would sit and read a book alongside him. So, they sat by the fire and each of them read a book.
“The next day, he asked if she would take him for a walk. He told her that he needed to be wheeled around in a special carriage, given his enormous head. She told him she didn’t want to, and he would have to walk himself.
“She told him she thought he could manage it because it looked like his head had gotten smaller.
“‘I’ll walk alongside you, and we’ll see,’ she said.
“And much to the little prince’s surprise, she was right. It was true. His head had gotten smaller, and he was able to walk.
“Other people noticed his head had gotten smaller too, and the women in the castle wanted once again to bathe him, to feed him, to do everything they could for him. But he told them he could do it himself. And he thought he preferred to do it himself.
“After that, every day he would walk with the girl. Even when she didn’t come to the castle, he would go looking for her and walk beside her. And every day, his head continued to shrink.”
“It’s not going to go the other way, is it?”
Nico frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Shrink to an abnormally small size, like a speck of dust.”
Nico laughed. “No. Just listen. We’re almost at the end.
One day, the girl told him she was tired of walking and she wanted to run.
But the little prince insisted they walk.
Secretly he was afraid, thinking maybe he couldn’t run, remembering what had happened the last time he had tried.
But the girl said she wanted to run, and that’s what she was going to do.
“She waved to the little prince and took off. He watched her and thought, I want to run too . And so he did, and the two of them ran side by side.
“They ran and ran and ran until they were too tired to run anymore.
“After that, the king and queen told the little prince they would cancel the proclamation that running and racing were forbidden. They told him he could resume the races he so loved. But the little prince didn’t want to.
“He went to the girl and told her he wanted to see where she came from. ‘Will you take me there?’ he asked.
“She smiled and said, ‘Yes.’
“And so, he waved goodbye to the king and queen, Knight Dario, and the villagers and said one day he would return.
“They all wished him well, and he and the girl set out.
“And that was just the beginning of their adventure. After seeing where the girl came from, they journeyed to other places. And the little prince got to see all the places he’d only dreamed of before, and he was happy.”
Rocco waited.
“That’s it?”
“You didn’t like it?”
“I did. But you know, it’s a fairy tale, so …”
“So … ?”
Rocco sighed. “‘And he lived …’”
“Oh, right. And they lived happily ever after.”
His phone buzzed.
“It’s probably my mamma,” he said as he reached for it. “I think she figured out we were going somewhere together after we left, and she wants us to come by there again for a couple days before the season starts. She hinted as much before we left. I didn’t commit to anything.”
Nico smiled. “Let’s go! I love your family.”
Rocco felt a pinch of jealousy. He knew it was foolish.
It was his family. And he loved his family.
He just felt such a deep want in him, a want to have her all to himself.
But he saw the way her face lit up at the mention of his family.
She looked happy—really happy—which made him wonder.
Had he ever seen her happy before? Like this happy? He couldn’t deny her that.
I have my whole future to be with her.
He paused at that thought. Surprised by it.
My whole future?
He’d think about that later.
He kissed Nico. “Okay, I’ll tell her we’ll cut short our stay here and head back there. We can leave tomorrow.”
He frowned as he stared at his phone.
“I was right. It’s a text from my mamma. She says your uncle is there. He just showed up at my parents’ house, looking for you.”
Nico’s brow wrinkled. Her eyes had a look. Was it fear?
“My uncle?”
“Yeah. Your uncle Mickey.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 49 (Reading here)
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- Page 58