Page 3

The words taste like acid on my lips, but deep in my heart, I know they’re true. Cooper has never once given a shit about what I wanted or needed. The only person he thinks about is himself, just like that day. He’s the oldest, the strongest, and disguises his selfishness as love for his family, but I know better now. It’s always been his way or the highway. We only matter to him when it’s convenient and fits into the perfectly laid plan he’s set for his life. The moment I wanted something for myself, he labeled me a nuisance, holding him back from the life he dreamed of for himself. He and Beau had plans, but because of Kyle and me, they were stuck.

“Can’t I just want to see if my little brother is okay? You’ve been unconscious for three days, Cole. Three fucking days.”

Cooper's voice cracks slightly, but I’m not buying it. Not like I used to. Now I know better than to believe his bullshit.

“I’m only your little brother when it's convenient for you. Isn’t that right, Cooper?” I lock eyes with him, daring him to say something else.

The anger that was simmering below the surface a few moments ago is ready to explode out of me. Right now, I want to prove to everyone in this room that he is the bad guy, not me. He’s the reason our family was torn apart. He can spin it and try to sugarcoat it as much as he wants, but eventually, they will discover, just like I did, that Cooper Hendrix is completely full of shit.

Beau’s eyes narrow in my direction. “Cole.”

“Don’t, Beau. Just don’t.” I sigh, wincing slightly as I try to breathe through my anger. “Ever the peacemaker who pretends he doesn’t pick sides, but we both know you’re just as full of shit as he is.”

A heavy silence settles over the room. I’ve said my peace, and now I want them all to just leave. But there’s one person missing from this impromptu family reunion. “Where’s Momma?”

“Looking for your next victim?” Cooper mumbles as Beau smacks him in the back of the head.

“Fuck you, Cooper,” I growl. “She is the only one in this family I even remotely give a shit about. Excuse me for wanting to know where she is.”

I can see Cooper and Beau physically recoil as if I punched them with my words, and I don’t regret it. Cooper hasn’t reached out to me once since I walked out the door, only trying to make amends or talk to me when he learns something about my life he doesn’t like. Beau is no better. Yes, he’s forced himself on me over the years, but never because he wanted to see or talk to me. It was always because he wanted to guilt me into speaking to Cooper. Harping on me about how much pain our brother was in about our family being so broken. Cooper. Cooper. Cooper. Never Cole. Always fucking Cooper.

Is it childish to want to beat my big brother down? Fuck yeah, it is, but I couldn't care less. Rage and loneliness have been my only companions for all these years. It’s been me against the world since the day I walked out of my parents’ house. These people coming to make sure I didn’t die won’t change any of that.

Ramona cocks her head to the side, her eyes scanning my face, looking for something before she shakes her head and stands. “She’s at our place. Ms. Melanie refused to leave before you woke up, but we convinced her to go and at least take a shower.”

“Hopefully, Auntie Naomi and Momma convinced her to take a nap,” Alise says before reaching into her pocket and grabbing her phone. “I better call them and let her know this asshole is awake.”

“Alise,” Ramona hisses, her eyes flicking to me before narrowing back at Alise.

“It’s what you’ve all been thinking. I just said it out loud.”

“She isn’t wrong,” Beau mumbles, causing Cooper to chuckle.

“No, she isn’t. I am an asshole who doesn’t give a flying fuck what any of you think of me.”

Ramona rolls her eyes before gripping Alise’s arm. “Why don’t we both go back to Cooper’s place and tell them in person?”

“But I want to be here to watch the fireworks.” Alise leans forward, planting her elbows on the table and cupping her chin.

“Alise,” Ramona growls, narrowing her eyes at her. “Let’s go.”

Alise sighs heavily before making a show of moving from her seat and shoving her phone back into her pocket. “Feel better soon, asshole.”

I try to move my arm to give her a mock salute, but blinding pain shoots through my entire body, causing me to groan loudly. “Fuck.”

“I’ll grab the nurse on the way out,” Ramona repeats, but I use my other arm to wave her off. I don’t need a nurse. What I need is some answers about what the fuck happened to me.

“I’m not taking no for an answer, Cole.” She levels me in place with a stare, sending a shiver of fear through my entire body. “I’m getting the nurse, then grabbing your mother. While we are gone, you will talk to your brothers. Understand?”

I open my mouth to respond, but Alise shakes her head. “Don’t test her, Cole. She is in ‘fuck around and find out mode.’ Trust me, you do not want to find out what she’ll do.”

I’m very familiar with fucking around and finding out the hard way. Instead of poking the bear as I usually would, I heed Alise’s warning. I have a feeling that if Ramona has spent any time with both of my brothers, she is more than capable of holding her own.

“She’s right. If you don’t listen to me about anything for the rest of your life, please listen to me now,” Cooper gripes as he pulls Ramona to him, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

“Assholes. The lot of you,” Ramona grumbles before grabbing Alise by the arm and pulling her through the door.

My eyes flick around the room, looking at anything besides my two older brothers. The suffocating feeling of being trapped, like the walls are closing in around me, settles into my chest. But I won’t give in to those feelings. The last thing I want to do is give either of them the satisfaction of watching me squirm.

By design, I make sure I’m never this close to my brother without a way to escape. To make sure to always put much-needed space between the three of us again. The pain and anger of everything that has happened clogs my throat, but I will it into submission. I could easily give in to the pain, letting it consume me once again. Pulling me back into the dark places of my mind that I don’t know I’ll ever be able to escape a second time. Not without—I’m not going there. Everything is going to be fine. I’m fine. All I need to do is find out what they want and send them on their way.

“You can’t come in here and pretend that you give a fuck about me. It’s too fucking late.”

“Can you stop being angry at me for everything that has gone wrong in your life for two minutes and have a civil conversation?” Cooper growls, shoving to his feet and pacing in front of my bed.

“Do you always have to push his buttons like that?” Beau rolls his eyes before taking a seat on the edge of my bed. He reaches over to pat my legs, but I pull them out of his reach. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I was sucker punched in the head by my supposed teammate and blacked out. My right shoulder is also on fucking fire.”

“You have a concussion, and your right rotator cuff has a large acute tear. It will require surgery.” Beau pauses for a moment, his eyes probably scanning my face for a reaction, but I give him nothing.

This is far worse than I could’ve imagined. A concussion, even with going through CTE protocols, would’ve had me ready for the start of next season. But a tear in my rotator cuff? That shit is a death sentence for my hockey career. I can work my ass off during the off-season, but there’s still no guarantee that I’ll be ready at the start of the season. On top of that, with my contract being up for negotiation, everyone already knows what happened. My only chance is that they don’t know how bad the damage is. If I can’t keep this injury under wraps, I’ll be lucky if anyone will make me an offer.

“I need to talk to Remy.” My mind races as I try to think of every outcome for this situation.

There’s no way the Wolverines are going to renew my contract. Especially not after I lost them the championship. I was in talks with teams in Boston and Philadelphia, but I was hoping to remain close to…everyone. I know I’m a walking contradiction. Sue me. I want to be near my family, to have the comfort of knowing I can easily reach them if I need to, but I just don’t want to have any unnecessary contact with them. But none of that matters right now because if I want to keep playing hockey, I have to go with whatever team will have me. I don’t have another choice.

Cooper comes to a stop beside my bed, reaching for my hand but pulls it back before our skin can touch. “I already called him, and he’s on his way.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, he does have manners.” Beau chuckles as he pulls his phone out and holds it in front of him with the camera pointed in my direction. “Can you say it one more time? I don’t think Ramona or Alise would believe me if I told them.”

“Fuck you.”

“Ah, that’s the little brother I know and love.” Beau smiles before turning his attention toward the door. “I’m going to see what’s taking the nurse so long.”

I want to tell him to stay, that I can wait for the nurse to come whenever she has time, but I don’t. I clamp my mouth shut and silently pray that Cooper won’t say a word until Beau comes back or our mother arrives. Anything to stop from having to be in a room alone with my older brother.

“I have a feeling it’s his subtle way of giving us a chance to talk.” Cooper reaches up to rub the back of his neck, his eyes begging me to engage with him, but we both know I won’t. Not now, maybe not ever.

“That would imply that I have something to say to you.”

I want to turn away and give him my back, shutting down this entire conversation, but with the pain in my shoulder and my stomach wanting to revolt with any major movements, I settle for shutting my eyes.

“Fine,” Cooper huffs, but continues speaking. “How about you just listen?”

I should tell him I don’t give a shit about what he has to say. That it’s all a little too late and will never change what he did. What he took away from me and the rest of the family, but there’s another part of me that wants to know. So I say nothing.

“I had this entire speech worked out for what I was going to say when you gave me the time of day, but I’m drawing a blank.” A heavy silence settles between us before Cooper scoffs. “I know you must be worried about your contract negotiations with the Wolverines, but you don’t need to worry about anything.”

My eyes fly open, pure rage filling my veins. “I don’t have to worry that my hockey career is over because I have no team and could be out for an entire season because of this injury?”

I want to reach forward and sock my brother in the jaw, pain be damned. He said he wanted to talk to me. What that might be about, I have no idea, but it seems more like he wanted to sit here and take control of my life again. A way of molding me into the perfect Cooper replica that he has complete control over, just like everything else in his life.

“This will not keep you out for the season, Cole. We both know you’ll be back in the gym the moment you get the go-ahead. I went through rehab for my knee in six months and was ready to get back on the ice at the start of the season.”

“But I’m not you, Cooper. Never have been and never will be. Much to everyone’s dismay.”

“Why do you have to turn everything into an argument?”

“I’m not arguing with you. It’s a statement of fact. You’re the reason I’m even in this situation to begin with.”

“Let me get this straight. Is it my fault Leon is an asshole and sucker punched you because he can’t make a shot to save his life? Is it my fault that the two teams piled so hard on top of you that your arm got pinned under your body? Is it my fault that when you tried to get yourself free, you tore your rotator cuff and most of the surrounding ligaments?”

Cooper counts each infraction off on his fingers as he gives me a rundown of everything that happened after I was knocked unconscious. Apparently, they carted me out of the arena on a stretcher and rushed me to the nearest hospital, where I’ve remained. I’ve been out for almost three days, according to Cooper, which I vaguely remember him telling me earlier, but it’s just now hitting home. Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, or CTE, is more than just a mild concern now. Unfortunately, there’s no way to examine my brain for CTE until after my death, but any brain injury with prolonged unconsciousness is a tremendous concern.

“Is it my fault the cops led Leon out of the arena in handcuffs?” Cooper chuckles darkly, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, that one was definitely my fault, but there was no way I was going to let him get away with what he did to you.”

“If you are looking for me to thank you for defending my honor or something, you’re not going to get it.” I sigh, my eyes drifting shut as bone-deep exhaustion takes over me. My eyes blink closed for a few moments before I force them open. “I can kiss any chance that the Wolverines would keep me on until I’m healed goodbye. Leon is one of the team's leading scorers. If he goes to jail, we can kiss any chance of having a successful season out the window.”

“You’re not going back to the Wolverines, Cole.”

“You say that as if you have any say in what I do. You’re my older brother—a fact that I would love to forget—not my father. You have zero say in what I do with my life.”

“Whether you like it or not, I’m still your big brother. I care about you. When are you going to get that fact through your thick skull?”

Is there a part of me that believes Cooper wants what is best for me? Yes, a tiny one. But the voice in the back of my head will never let me forget what he did, what he took away from all of us because of his selfishness.

“If you cared about anyone else's feelings and well-being besides your own, you never would’ve killed our father.”

Cooper physically recoils at my words, but I don’t budge. Cooper took my father away from me. Away from all of us. No kind words or fake concern can change the fact that our father is dead, and it is all Cooper’s fault.