Page 31 of Chasing Blue

“Twentieth of July.” I nod as my nose tingles, fighting not to display the horrible hurt I’m feeling inside on my face. While I was still mourning, Jack would’ve been celebrating the birth of his son.

“What’ve you got planned?” I pull the question from somewhere deep inside, a little place that doesn’t hurt as much as the rest of me.

“Well, now this place has running water, I’m hoping Dad’s gonna let me have a gathering here.”

I nod. Jack still stares at me in stony silence. “Sounds like a plan. The furniture won’t be here by then, but if you boys are going to make the tables and benches yourselves, you could use those.”

“We’ll see,” Jack clears his throat and says.

Finn’s eyes shift between us, and I’m sure he’s aware of the change in atmosphere.

“Cool seeing you again, Scarlett. I’m gonna head off, Dad. I’ll pick Mick up from the office and take him for a run with me.”

“Yeah, mate, no worries. I’ll see ya after,” Jack responds.

Finn looks between us again, knocks on the bar with his knuckles and heads out.

The ensuing silence is deafening.

Despite the cardigan and scarf I’m wearing over my clothes, a chilling realisation creeps across my skin. Is this it? Is this when I come clean? Is this the ‘right’ moment I’ve been waiting for?

“I didn’t know. I swear to God, Scar. When we were together, I had no idea she was pregnant. We’d been split up for over three months, since well before we got together.”

He moves around the bar as he talks and begins stalking towards me.

“I love him, would lay down my fucking life for that kid, but I’ll always wonder what might’ve happened between you and me if I hadn’t got that call from Eden the morning I left you sleeping.”

My body flinches, and I physically jerk a little as his words hit me.

“That morning?” I question, my mind racing.

“That morning,” he repeats as he reaches me.

We both turn towards the door as we hear it open.

“Dad, Jules just pulled up,” Finn calls out.

My stomach does a full-on forward roll followed by a backflip while my eyes move from Finn to Jack, who’s staring back at his son. His eyes close, and he lets out a breath. “Fuck!” he hisses between gritted teeth. “Cheers, mate,” he calls louder while putting his hand up.

“Who’s Jules?” I ask.

“Scar, seriously, we have the worst fucking timing, but I really need to talk to you. Please, just give me a chance to explain everything.”

“Who’s Jules?” I demand.

I watch as he licks his lips and shakes his head, closing his eyes again, and I know. Without him even answering, I know. My poor battered heart deflates. It settles, shrivelled and wrinkled in my chest. Waiting for me to bring it back to life the way I always do. The way I have to if I want it to keep on beating.

“She’s nothing, no one. I was seeing her, but I’m done, she just hasn’t got the message yet.”

“Have you tried telling her? Putting the girl straight and out of her misery? Or have you pulled your usual stunt and ghosted her?”

I don’t know why this is hurting. This was a business meeting, not a date. But that stupid, stupid, battered heart of mine obviously made other plans, became invested and hoped for something more than what could be. When the fuck will it ever learn?

When willIever learn?

“I’ll get this sorted, Blue, I promise.”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t fucking call me that. I’m not your Blue. I was, I so fucking was but you threw me away, Jack. Without a fucking word you left me in bits and never looked back. You’ve no idea, no fucking clue what you . . .”