Page 50 of Chaos Carnival (Cirque de Sanguine #2)
Chapter 49: Karma’s Vow
Maverick
I held Tess against my chest, breathing in her scent as she slept. The moonlight filtering through the window cast a shifting darkness across her face, peaceful in sleep despite the weight we'd forced upon her. My fingers traced across her skin, memorizing every inch of her new form.
It should've been me. I was the one who first dragged her into this mess, who bound her life to mine. And now, when she'd tried to sacrifice herself to spare us all, we'd gone and disfigured fate itself to keep her. The hunger that bound us all coursed through our shared connection.
Her power thrummed beneath her skin, so different now from what it had been. Gone was the sharp-tongued witch who'd first caught my eye. In her place lay something splendid and wrecked in ways none of us had foreseen.
Tess stirred in her sleep, a small whimper escaping her lips. I tightened my arms around her, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“I've got you, sweetheart.”
The bond between us vibrated with her distress, echoing through the darker connection we now all shared. Even in sleep, she couldn't escape the visions that threatened to tear her mind apart. I'd give anything to take this from her, to bear it myself. But I was useless—nothing more than a fallen seraph who'd helped bind his mate to an existence she'd never wanted.
Her fingers clutched at my chest, seeking purchase in whatever nightmare plagued her. I stroked her hair, pouring all my love through our connection, willing it to chase away the suffering our choices had wrought.
“I'm here. I'll always be here.” My voice splintered like a wooden beam on the words.
But I could do nothing but hold her through the night, loving every fractured piece of her, her delicate frame shaking with silent sobs. My fierce, brilliant mate, who'd tried to weave us a kinder ending, only for us to rewrite the story again in blood and hunger.
“I love you,” I breathed into her hair. “Every version of you. Every piece. Always.”
She shifted in my lap, her lips brushing my ear. “And when the madness gets too loud...” Her touch turned deliberate, heated. “Remember the lovely secrets. How you can quiet the chaos. How your touch can bring me back, even if just for moments.” She pulled back just enough to meet my gaze, her eyes flickering between lucidity and that haunting awareness. “When I'm lost in the woods, drowning in possibilities... you can still reach me through pleasure. Through pain. Through anything that makes the blood sing.”
I held her tighter, our shared hunger adding a darker edge to her words. The truth of what we'd done to her—what I'd done to her—crushed my heart.
I lowered my forehead to hers, searching her eyes. They shone with that maddening mix of awareness and unfocused intensity, but in that moment, there was crystal clarity between us.
“Love?” I asked, needing to know her answer, her truth in this moment. “Do you want this right now?”
She giggled, a soft, disjointed sound, and nodded.
I threaded my fingers into her hair, tilting her head back, and kissed her gently. Soft, warm, tasting of the sweetness in the eye of the storm. Her lips moved against mine, a whispered echo of tenderness.
Her fingers danced along my skin, tugging at my shirt, and I helped her pull it over my head, breaking our kiss momentarily. Then we were pressed together again, mouths clinging, hungry. My hands found her waist, slipping under her shirt to touch bare skin, and she arched into my touch, a soft moan escaping her.
We undressed each other, hands tangling and grasping, until nothing separated our flesh. I sat back on my heels and she straddled my legs, taking me inside her with a mutual groan. Her eyes fluttered closed as she settled into my lap, our bodies connecting with an electric mix of pleasure and pain.
Wrapping her legs around my waist, she began to move, a gentle rocking that built into a feverish rhythm. Her lips found mine again, breathless kisses that mirrored the motion of our bodies. Her nails dug into my shoulders, marking me, as her mouth moved to my neck, my collarbone, leaving a trail of fire.
My hands gripped her hips, guiding our movements as we sank into the sensations, striving to quiet the looming madness. Her breath came in gasps, soft cries against my skin, as her body tightened around me, edging us closer to oblivion.
“I love you,” I whispered, my voice raw and broken. “Stay with me, always.”
“Forever,” she panted, her eyes fluttering open to meet mine. “Yours. Forever.”
The world fell away as we raced toward the peak together, our hearts pounding in unison. Tess's fingers threaded through my hair, tugging gently, as her body convulsed around me, her release triggering my own. I captured her cries with my mouth, savoring the taste of her pleasure, our pleasure, as we splintered into a million pieces and soared.
We rode out the storm, our bodies still moving in gentle undulations, unwilling to break the connection. A million fragmented moments of joy and agony stitched us back together, strand by strand, even as darkness waited.
I felt the shift in Tess's body, her playful madness melting away as reality crashed back. Her soft tears transformed into deep, wracking sobs that shook her entire frame. She buried her face in my chest, her cries becoming more desperate with each breath.
I gathered her closer as those sobs became deep, guttural cries that seemed to come from her very soul. She clutched at my arms, her knuckles white, as if afraid I'd disappear if she let go. Each wail tore through my chest, echoing through our shared bond.
“I tried to stop this,” she whispered, her voice almost a whisper against my chest.
“Shhhh,” I murmured into her hair, rocking her. “I've got you.” I brushed my lips to her temple, tasting the salt of her tears. The familiar fragrance of her skin beneath the metallic tang of blood and magic was like coming home.
“I saw so many endings,” she choked out between sobs, her fingers twisting tighter in my shirt. “But not this one. Never this one.”
“We chose you, Tess,” I said, trying to keep my own voice steady despite the ache in my chest.
“Maverick,” she said, my name breaking in her throat. “What you all did for me...”
“Shhhh. We'd do it again. Every time.” I stroked her back in slow, soothing circles, her energy thrumming beneath my touch, raw and wild.
“You shouldn't have...” The words fell from her lips like a prayer, a desperate litany that tore at my heart. “I tried to–“
“Stop.” I pulled back just enough to look into her tear-streaked face. “We made our choice. Maybe you didn't see this coming, maybe it was all beyond your sight, but we're together now. Our family is safe.”
Her breath hitched, a shudder running through her as she shook her head. “But what you had to give up,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “What you all sacrificed...”
She tried to pull away, a desperate, almost frantic movement, but I held her, my grip gentle but firm. The tremor in her hands betrayed her anguish, a silent plea hidden beneath her words. “I never wanted to trap you like this. To be this mangled doll... The price you paid... what I've become...” Her voice broke like thin ice. “Now I'm just another chain binding you, and I can't even hold myself together. You deserve better than being bound to my madness forever.”
I caught her face between my hands, my touch infinitely gentle despite the fierce possessiveness burning through my being. “Look at me,” I demanded, waiting until those impossible eyes met mine. “You think being bound to you is a burden?” My voice fractured with the weight of everything I felt for her. “Tess, my love, my mate, my magnificent monster – you are the chains I chose. The darkness I embraced. The madness I willingly drown in.”
I brushed away her tears with trembling thumbs, every point of contact between us singing with our shared power. “Don't you understand? Before you, I was nothing but shadows and hunger, centuries of emptiness wearing a seraph's face. You gave me something to hunger for .” My wings curled tighter around us, casting us in a cocoon of night that was ours alone. “You think I deserve better than your madness? Your madness is the only thing that makes sense to me in this godforsaken world.”
The mate bond hummed between us, carrying echoes of everything words couldn't express. “I would tear the entire universe apart to keep you. Break every law of creation to hold you. Bind myself to evil a thousand times over just to see you smile.” My voice dropped to a whisper, rough with emotion. “You're not a chain, my love. You're my freedom.”
She collapsed against me then, her sobs renewed, but different now, a heartbreaking blend of relief and grief, acceptance wrestling with lingering fear. I kept my wings around us, a place where she could fall apart in peace. Where I could hold every precious, slivered piece of her, cradling her close, until the storm within her passed.
As her cries gradually quieted, I pressed soft kisses to her hair, her temples, her tear-stained cheeks, silently promising that I would spend eternity proving those words true. My lips traced paths of devotion across her skin, each touch a vow.
She might not have seen this ending, might have been changed by forces beyond her sight, but she was still mine. My witch. My everything. And I would love her through every fragment of madness, every shard of chaos, every beautiful, broken moment our choices had wrought. The forces within me purred at her nearness, at the way her own power now echoed mine, different yet familiar.
Whatever storms lay ahead, whatever challenges this new existence brought, I would be her anchor, her safe harbor in the tempest of immortality we now shared.