Page 6

“You look like shit,” Abbie greeted me.

“Thanks. Nice to see you too.”

“You get any sleep last night?” she asked as we changed the dressings that wrapped around the injured Doberman.

“Some. Would have had more if my flatmate and her boyfriend could have been quieter,” I grumbled, reaching around the brown fur as we carefully wound the bandage round the middle of the dog sedated on the table in front of us.

Abbie flashed me a smile, her warm brown eyes sparkling back at me.

“Look. I owe you a shift for covering for me last night. You need a night off tonight?”

“And who’s going to be on call for emergencies?”

“You can’t be on call every night, Alice. You’re gonna burn out for one, or make a mistake. It’s gotta be Stuart’s turn tonight.”

“He asked me to do it. But said he’d do tomorrow’s shift.”

“Fine. But I’ll do the obs and checks for the patients. You just deal with the vet emergencies. Hopefully, we won’t have any.”

“Hopefully not. Ok. On my count, we’ll lift her down,” I looked at Abbie and waited for the nod of acknowledgement. “One, two, three.”

I inhaled, tensing my arms, bracing my back, my legs shaking a little, not under the weight of the dog but of the complete and utter tiredness that strained in every muscle of my body. I needed to sleep. For a week. Carefully, we slid a sleeping Kinobi back into her kennel, setting her head gently down and making sure the wires protruding from her exhausted, battered body were teased out and lying comfortably where she couldn’t catch them.

“Look, Alice. We’re an hour from closing, and we’ve only weigh-ins and wormers left as appointments. I can do them all. Go home and get some sleep.”

“I can’t. We’re supposed to have a dispensing vet on site.”

“Fine. Go upstairs into the staff room. Then you’re still on site. But just grab an hour at least.”

“Ok. Ok. Come get me if you need me.”

*****

A noise woke me. Pushing through the blackness, forcing my brain awake. Footsteps. The creak of stairs. The squeak of a swollen door in a weak frame. My eyes wouldn’t comply, opening slowly, my brain seconds ahead and my tired body not keeping up. But eventually my lids peeled off dry eyes, straining in the dark room, the faint orange glow from streetlights on the other side of the building the only light.

I was huddled in a chair in the corner, a thin blanket covering me, pulled up to my chin, but the cold had got to me anyway, my joints stiff, my body slow. A shadow moved in the dark. Footsteps ringing out on the old, bumpy laminate as it moved across the floor purposefully in the dark.

“Abbie?” I called out, my voice weak with tiredness.

“Shit! Alice? What the fuck you doing in the dark?”

Stuart. I recognised the accent. The undertones of the south with the Geordie influence. Not quite northern enough.

“I just took a nap. What time is it?”

“Eight.”

“Shit. That wasn’t a nap that was a complete sleep.”

Somewhere in front of me Stuart shuffled, and then the light above us snapped on, the dated staff room bathed in an offensive bright white. I rubbed at my eyes, blinking uncontrollably.

“What are you doing here, Stuart?” I asked as my vision cleared and I could focus on the man stood beside the locked drugs cabinet. “Thought you were off tonight.”

“I am. Forgot to put the next medicine order through.” He waved a sheet of paper in the air above his head.

“Thought we’d just had a delivery the other day?”

“Yeah. I’d missed a few off the order. Sorting it now.” He dipped his head and scribbled something on the sheet of paper he’d just waved.

On the table in front of me my phone lit up, and then a half second later the ringtone blared. I groaned, more loudly than I should in front of my boss.

“First one of the night, huh?” Stuart asked.

I nodded.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

On the table in front of me, the phone continued to ring. For a moment I didn’t pick it up, just watched the green call button flashing on and off, waves of nausea washing over me. Then I snatched the phone off the table, pressed my thumb into the button and held it to my ear.

*****

“Fuck, that was rough,” Abbie cursed as we cleaned down the operating table.

Blood still pooled on the floor at our feet, slowly drying. Swabs and blue roll sat in a red-soaked pile at the end of the table. I didn’t answer, casting a glance towards the room of patients that was filling up fast.

“You think she’ll pull through?” Abbie asked, breaking the silence again.

I shrugged, exhausted, mentally broken. She stepped round the blood on the floor, grabbing an armful of swabs and shoving them in the bin. And all I could do was lean against the operating table staring down upon it.

“What’s wrong, Alice?” she asked, turning from the bin and standing at the other end to face me.

“I’m just so tired. And I love my job, Abbie. I really do. But sometimes I wonder whether there’s more to life than this.”

I stood upright, wafting a hand up in the air beside my head.

“You need some time off.”

“Yeah. Well, Stu never agrees to any. I always need to cover for him.”

“Then he needs to hire another vet. And another vet nurse.” Abbie glanced down at herself, at the blood smeared against her scrubs. “With all these clients, and all these emergencies we take on for what seems like the whole of the north east, I know he’s got the money for it.”

“He says there’s none.”

“Well, he’s lying. We could just walk out. Then he’d need to sort this place out.”

“I need the extra money. No other practice would let me work the hours I do. And he does pay me. Even if the hours are shit.”

Abbie shook her head and then looked up suddenly, fear flashing across her face.

“What?” I asked, my chest jolting. “What is it?”

“There’s someone out there,” she whispered, as if the unknown entity might hear her through the wall and glass window. “Look!”

I turned, seeing a shadow moving behind us. It got closer, the edges of its shape sharpening until it seemed to be pressed against the glass. Then there was a tentative tap.

“Shit. What do we do?” Abbie backed away from the table.

“We let him in.”

“What? Why? It could be a burglar. Or a murderer or a rapist!”

“Two seconds. I’ll ask him.”

“Are you mad?”

I smiled, the grin cracking away the earlier fatigue. “I don’t think a burglar or murderer would politely tap the glass. Relax. It’s just Cade,” I added as I moved towards the back of the building.

“Who the fuck’s Cade?”

“Y’know. The man who came in with the Doberman the other night.”

“The half-naked biker?”

I nodded. “He’ll be visiting the dog. Though I dunno why he can’t use normal hours like everyone else.”

Abbie stood still, frozen to the spot, and I didn’t need to look at her to know her eyes were boring into my back. I could almost feel them. By the time I got to the back door, I’d have two holes burnt into my shoulder blades.

It seemed to take minutes to convince the key to turn in the lock, the mechanism scratching loudly in the barrel, the other bolt suddenly rebounding, cutting into my finger where it had lingered across it. I winced, flicking out my hand and waving off the pain.

“You didn’t ring, Cade.”

“I did, Alice. About ten times. You didn’t answer.”

He stepped up inside the practice before I’d moved backwards to let him in, and now cold leather pressed against the thin synthetic cotton of my overalls. His eyes seemed to be stuck in the shadows of the night, almost hazel, the flecks of green swallowed by the darkness, but they warmed quickly, softening in front of me.

“You going to let all the cold in, Al?” he asked, his voice low, and I didn’t mishear the shortening of my name.

“No. Sorry. Come in. We’re just cleaning up in here.”

I stepped aside, his body brushing mine, as if there wasn’t much space, his fingers resting on my hip, just momentarily, just as he slid past me, away from the door and into the warmth of the building. I shouldn’t have noticed it. It was the lightest of touches. His fingers must have been cold, because I could still feel them there, on my skin. I was tired. I shook my head, pushing the heavy door back into its frame, the freezing cold air from outside whirling around my thin clothes as I slid the locks back into place and locked this stranger in with us.

“Shit,” I heard his voice. “What happened?”

Cade stood still just inside the operating theatre.

“Emergency c-section on a cat.” I answered from behind him.

“Did it make it?”

“Yes. But she’s very weak.”

“And the kittens?”

“Some did.” My voice lowered to a whisper, too tired to conceal the bubble of emotions that I’d momentarily been distracted from.

“Shit. That’s a lot of blood for a cat.” Cade continued to stare at the puddle on the floor.

“Come on. Kinobi’s through here,” I moved through the operating theatre and then stopped. “Abbie, you can get away. I’ll finish up.”

Her eyes flicked from the tall blond man in leather, to me, and then back to him again. Uncertainty and curiosity.

“No. It’s ok. I’ll tidy up. You show…you see to Kinobi,” she answered, waving her hand flimsily, distracted.

“How’s Kinobi doing today?” Cade asked as we moved into the little room of cages next door to the operating room.

Kinobi whined, recognising his voice as he bobbed down onto his haunches, sticking a finger through the bars and gently scratching behind her ear.

“Mostly the same. It’s still too early to see much improvement. But her obs and sats are good. Where they should be, so that’s a good sign. And we’ve moved her into the ward, as you can see, she’s not as critical as she was.”

He was silent for a while, concentrating on the animal in front of him. I could hear him whispering to her, but I couldn’t fully make out the words. I stepped backwards, allowing them some privacy, and instead I watched him from behind. His hands moved slowly and gently, a head of thick blond hair bobbing now and then as he spoke or dropped his head towards the cage.

Even crouched on the ground in front of me, the man was tall. His shoulders filling the black leather bike jacket. And now I could study the words on the back. The Northern Kings MC. The embroidered writing surrounding three crowned, laughing skulls. Sadistic and frightening and I wondered if that was the point. To make him look formidable despite that boy-next-door look he had. The leather contradicting it all.

Cade turned, his eyes catching mine, catching me watching him. I couldn’t tell if he smiled, but his face seemed to light up for a second. Maybe I’d seen a tiny smirk. Then he was on his feet and in front of me. I’d barely realised he was moving, my reflexes so slow under the heaviness of sleep deprivation.

“Thank you for looking after Kinobi,” his voice had returned to that rich velvet. “She looks better. I thought she was a gonna.”

“It’s still early days.”

“I know. But it doesn’t take a vet to see the spark returning to her eyes. I really appreciate it. How often are you here looking after her?”

“Every couple of hours.”

“Are you the only one here?”

“You’ve seen Abbie when you came through the back.” I answered tiredly.

“She’s not here all the time, though, is she? And I’ve seen no other vet here other than you.”

“Stuart. He owns the place.” I didn’t think he could get any closer to me, but he had. So close I could almost feel the cool touch of the leather jacket. “But I do most of the emergency cover.”

“Then I’m pleased that’s the case. Not sure Kinobi would have survived without you.”

“She’s not out of the woods, Cade.” I paused, watching him squeeze his eyes closed, hanging onto an emotion I couldn’t decipher. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me, babe.”

“What?”

Fuck, I was tired. I wasn’t hearing this man properly. The one stood right in front of me, barely an inch away, staring down at me with intense hazel-green eyes, a lock of blond hair falling out of place over his forehead. His arm moved, brushing up between us, ruffling the fabric of my scrubs, and I inhaled, half in fright, half at his touch. Tired. I was tired. But I wasn’t imagining it now as the pads of his gloved fingers smoothed the hair back behind my ear, the gentlest of touches over my face, or the tickle of his breath. A hint of mint and clean leather.

“You’ve got blood on your face, Al.” He swiped his thumb over my cheekbone, and then again, rubbing at something there.

I’d meant to pull his hand away, meant to bat him back, but as my fingers closed over the top of his, and we stood there not moving, all I could do was gaze into his eyes, his breath dusting over my lips.

“I’ll help you feed the kittens and then I think we both should get home for a…. oh.”

Both our heads snapped towards the door and the blonde woman standing there staring at us. The shock on her face melted, giving way, her lips drifting up into a grin.

“I see you’re not ready for their feed yet,” the laugh drifted on the surface of her words. “I’ll mop the floor again,” she said, pointing at something none of us could see over her shoulder before backing out the door the way she’d come.

“Go home. Get some sleep, Alice,” his voice purred at me, my hand still covering his, our bodies still too close together.

“Yeah. Soon. Tired.” I was exhausted, but now I couldn’t even string a sentence together.

And this time he did smile, a mischievous, self-satisfied grin pulling at his face.