Page 61 of Chaos & Carnage

“I’m Alice.” I took a big mouthful of the drink in front of me, instantly regretting it as the paint stripper tasting substance burnt my throat. My God, that was foul. But instantly it warmed my stomach, distracting me from the hundreds of tiny piecemeal thoughts rotating round my head.

Little Suzy returned quickly, bikers moving to the side to let her through. But behind her, he followed. Cade? No. I wasn’t sure. One of them. I just didn’t know which one. And now I was confused and flustered again, unable to hold onto a single forming thought.

“Taxi is on its way for you, Alice,” Suzy smiled, just not convincingly enough.

“Thank you. I’ll wait outside for it.”

“No. Wait.” His fingers clasped round my wrist, an attempt to stop me.

“Get. Off. Me.”

His eyes searched mine, saying nothing. And my eyes searched his, trying to see if I could figure out which one of them it was. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell them apart. Shit. And now I realised the thoughts I had been chasing all round my aching head were all made up of this one thing. I didn’t know which one I’d had sex with. And I had an awful feeling I’d been with both of them. Bile rose to my throat, and I wrenched my arm free of him, fleeing to the door.

The music faded away, the doors of the pub closing behind me. Outside it was cold. So cold. My breath streamed out in front of me in a big white plume. But out here I could breathe. And think. The incessant throbbing of the beat of the music no longer disturbed my thoughts.

“Alice.” His voice. Behind me.

I closed my eyes. Trying not to hear him. Whoeverhewas.

“Alice. Please. Just let me explain.”

“Explain what?” I didn’t turn around.

“I didn’t know he knew about you.”

“I don’t know who you are.”

“It’s me, Cade.”

“You could be the other one. How would I know?”

“Caleb,” he said, his voice quieting behind me. “Caleb is the other one.”

“I can’t tell who you are. You could tell me you’re anyone.”

“You know me, Al.”

I breathed. A big, long exhalation. Cade. I turned to face him. He tried to smile. A movement at the corner of his lips, but his eyes were filled with something. Sadness. Maybe? Or regret that this little shit show they’d pulled had been found out.

“Please, Al. Just let me explain. At least what I know.”

“You’ve got till the taxi gets here.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I’m a twin,” he began.

“I can see that. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to.”

“Why hide it? Why not say when we were talking in bed ‘I have atwinbrother’? Or was that not really you?”

“No, Al. That was really me.”

“And what about last night? Who was that?”

Cade’s eyes grew dark, a twitch of the muscles in his neck. But the darkness faded, the sadness back in its place.

“That wasn’t me. That was Caleb.”