Page 40 of Chaos & Carnage

“Like what?”

“Weird. Like I was picturing a future or something.”

“What worries you about looking into the future?” Cade asked, stepping closer, his arm looping round my back.

“Because. Well, because this,” I circled my hand over his torso.

He looked disappointed suddenly, like my words had hurt him.

“What type of person do you think I am, Al?” he asked, his hand straying over my jaw, fingertips lingering over the vein in my neck, as if he was feeling for how fast my heart was beating right now. And I was sure he could feel it pulsing under his fingers, building to some sort of heart explosive crescendo at just being so close to him.

“Alice?” he prompted. “Why?”

“Because…look at you. You’re incredible.” I closed my eyes at the sound of those words and then opened them onto his lop-sided grin.

“Go on.”

“I mean, why would someone like you be interested in someone like me?”

“What do you mean, someone like you?”

“I’m plain. I work all the time. I look like a sweaty mess most of the time. Why would you even like that?”

Cade stroked at my neck with his knuckles.

“Because you are raw. And beautiful. And perfect.”

“Cade…” I warned.

“You could have anyone. So why me? Am I that easy?”

“No. No. Alice…” Cade dropped his hand from my neck, sweeping it through his hair instead. “It’s the opposite. Well, not just that.” He stuttered.

That was the first time I’d heard him stutter. The first time he’d sounded anything less than confident, with that tiny touch of arrogance. Apart from that first day I’d met him. The terrified, half naked man, hugging a dying dog to his chest.

“Alice,” he continued, his hand rising to my face again. “You never looked at me like I was some sort of conquest. You never threw yourself at me. There was never any handing yourself to me on a plate or pretending to be something you are not. You were just all you. From the very night you saved Kinobi’s life. From bossing me about to being nervous around me the next day. To watching you with the animals, with the kittens. Nothing about you is false, Al. And I love that.”

“Love?” Now I cocked my head to the side, offering a grin, trying to lighten the moment which had become suddenly suffocating, stoking feelings inside me I’d never felt before and others that I was becoming more familiar with every time I set my eyes on him.

“Yes. Maybe. Shit, Al.” Cade swiped his hand through his hair again, the leather jacket pulling across his chest. “Fuck it.”

He reached out, grabbing the back of my head, forcing me to him, pushing my lips to his so neither of us could talk anymore. His tongue pushed into me, opening my mouth for him, swirling inside of me where mine met his.

*****

“I’m going to have to go soon,” Cade’s words wisped against my back.

“Do you have to? Could you not just stay?”

“One night I will. One night.”

He pulled me in closer, hugging my body against his. I was warm. So warm. And tired. The clock on the bedside table blurred red through tired eyes. 2am. I needed sleep. Desperately.

Between my legs, I ached. A mix of tingling happiness and a dull discomfort. Cade pressed his lips against my shoulder, holding them there for a second, his fingertips swirling my belly button.

“One night I’ll stay. But don’t think there’ll be any sleep, Al.”

Behind me, against my arse cheeks, he swelled again. I could pull myself back onto him. Ride him again. But there were operations tomorrow, today.