Page 16

sixteen

Dalton

The screaming and laughing from the contestants in the pool is grating on my nerves. June could announce she’s taking her top off without belting it out to everyone within a mile radius.

Things are heating up on the show; people are hooking up. I’m relieved because the heat’s off me now. JP is going full throttle after Farrah, and I hope he gets what he wants.

I just don’t get why Alice and I can’t also get what we want. Instead of spending the evening in bed with her, I’m staring at the rotation of the ceiling fan in my bedroom, fighting my urge to go to her room.

Farrah has put her in an impossible position, and I’m seeing red over it. Because Farrah is demanding, controlling, and out for herself only, Alice is afraid to be with me.

And why? There’s zero chance I’m going to be with Farrah now that Alice doesn’t want me. I’d leave the show, but then I couldn’t even see Alice.

I’m looking at new photos of Micah and watching videos Trin sent me of him, feeling like a caged beast, when Alice finally texts me back.

Alice: I can’t risk her finding out. You know my reasons. If it was just about what I want, you and I would be in my room right now.

I groan, my cock stirring as I think about burying my face between her thighs.

Dalton: Where are you?

Alice: Sitting on the patio with Farrah. She’s keeping track of all the contestants so she can figure out whose room you go into later.

I slam my phone onto the bed, so pissed off it’s all I can do not to go down there and tell Farrah to stay the fuck out of my life. Then I pick it back up and text Alice back.

Dalton: Someone needs to tell her she’s a grown ass adult, not a teenager. Are you saying we’re over, just because of her?

Alice: I can’t do this now, or I’ll cry in front of her. I’ll text later when I’m in my room.

I scrub a hand down my face. She’s worried about crying because she plans to break things off with me. How can I fix this?

I pace a U shape around the bed in my room, thinking. I’m not worked up about tonight in particular; it’s knowing Alice thinks we can never be together that’s the problem.

Maybe I should bide my time. Wait for the show to be done filming and hold off on pursuing a relationship until then.

Will she be willing then, though? Farrah doesn’t give her time off, so how could we ever spend time alone?

I sit on the edge of the bed, burying my head in my hands. I’ve finally met the woman of my dreams, but she’s going to have to choose between me and her job. It’s not right for me to ask that of her.

Alice is so strong. She’s been putting her own wants and needs aside to care for her family for a long time. I shouldn’t have asked her to jeopardize that just because I feel so strongly about her.

It hurts--there’s an actual, physical ache in my gut--as I realize maybe she’ll only ever want to be my friend. As much as I hate seeing her wait on Farrah every day, that’s how she makes the money her family needs. I’m not telling her she could do better, because she’s doing what she has to in order to take care of her parents. I admire that.

Alice would scrub toilets if that’s what it took to make her parents’ lives easier. That tenacity and devotion are a big reason why I’m crazy about her.

Loud music is playing outside now, and it almost drowns out the shouting. I can’t take knowing Alice is so close--right there on the patio--while I’m here, and I can’t go to her.

I grab a baseball hat, put it on, and open the Uber app on my phone. I need a break from this insanity, and I know exactly where I want to go.