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ten

Dalton

“What’s up with you?” JP asks me over breakfast the next day. “You’re normally a lot chattier than this.”

I shrug and push the last bite of my omelet around on my plate. “Just tired.”

“Did Farrah go back to your room last night? You can tell me if she did.”

“No, she didn’t.”

The sunset cruise sucked. Alice wouldn’t even look at me for most of it. I shouldn’t have hoped for time alone with her while the entire cast and crew were packed onto a sailboat, but I did.

She looked so damn cute in those jean shorts and that T-shirt. The shorts fit her round ass perfectly and I couldn’t stop looking at it.

The female contestants on the show were all made up and wearing dresses, and the guys all had to wear nice pants and collared shirts. But as the sun was setting and the boat was cutting through the waves, I was wishing I could be walking on the beach with Alice, wearing shorts and a T-shirt myself.

Maybe we’d walk to a beachfront restaurant for dinner. Spend hours talking and laughing over a bottle of wine.

It’s fucking maddening, falling for a woman so hard and fast and instead having to pretend I want someone else.

I’m over the show. Faking shit isn’t for me. But I can’t leave. Not only because of Rita and the league but because then I wouldn’t get to see Alice anymore. I’ll pretend to be interested in anyone if it means I can stay here.

Alice wasn’t at sunrise yoga this morning. Farrah said she was feeling run down and needed some extra rest. I was disappointed, because even though I couldn’t have had a real conversation with her, at least I could’ve seen her.

“What are you looking for here?” I ask JP. “Are you hoping to find a wife?”

He shrugs. “I wouldn’t mind it. I’m thirty, you know? I want to be in a relationship with someone for at least a couple of years before I pop the question, so I know it’s right.”

“Yeah. But do you worry about having enough time for it? I know football’s not as demanding as hockey, but it does take up the occasional weekend.”

“Shit.” He laughs, then turns serious again. “I know that’s part of it, but if you find the right woman, she knows what it takes to play at our level, and she supports it. I can’t be with a woman who feels like she’s in competition with football for my time. I’ve been there and done that.”

I nod because I’ve dated women like that, too.

“That’s why I’m here, actually,” JP says. “All the women here are successful. They have their own careers, and they know what it takes to stay at the top.”

“Yeah.”

I thought that was important to me, too. But Farrah couldn’t be more out of touch with the people and the world around her. I can’t be with a woman who is so self-centered.

Alice is good . She cares more about taking care of her family than she does her own happiness. She doesn’t want the spotlight. She listens. I find those things about her so attractive that I can hardly think about anything other than her.

“You think Alice is okay?” I say.

JP shrugs. “Yeah, Farrah said she’s just tired.”

“I’m going to bring her some breakfast.”

He rolls his eyes. “Good one. Looking in on the assistant. I should’ve thought of that.”

I meet his gaze, annoyed. “It’s got nothing to do with Farrah.”

“Sure it doesn’t.”

I don’t care what he thinks. I take my dishes to the kitchen, then ask a kitchen assistant to make a cheese omelet I can drop off for Alice. While they’re working on it, I go over to the breakfast buffet and make her a bowl of fresh fruit.

The kitchen assistant gets me a wood tray and a metal dome to cover up the food. I grab bottles of apple juice and water, stuffing one into each pocket.

“How do I get to the staff rooms” I ask. “And do you know which room Alice is in?”

The assistant gives me directions, and I go through a door in the kitchen to reach the hallway that leads to the staff rooms. Alice’s is the one at the end of the hall.

I knock on the door softly, not wanting to wake her up if she’s asleep. When there’s no answer, I knock again.

I could just leave the tray outside the door for her. But I don’t want to. I turn the door handle, cracking the door open a couple of inches so I can see inside.

It’s a tiny, darkened room with no windows. I can see Alice’s dark hair spilling out over the top of the blanket cocoon she’s wrapped up in. A fan on the floor is running at high speed, drowning out sound and cooling the stuffy room a little. It doesn’t seem like the air conditioning reaches this part of the house.

I walk into the room quietly, wishing I could see her face. But her back is to me and I don’t want to disturb her sleep. The bedside table is way too small to hold the tray, so I set it on the floor instead.

I should’ve put a flower on it. Hopefully the food will be enough to brighten her day.

There are so many things I want to say to her. I want her to know I wanted to be by her side last night, not Farrah’s. I want to tell her I’ve never had such strong feelings for a woman so quickly. That I’m here to listen or hold her. Whatever she needs.

But she works hard, and she needs this rest. So I tiptoe out and close the door again, going to find Alex for my daily production meeting.

“So what are you looking for?” Farrah asks me that evening, seated beside me in one of the hot tubs. “Just fun or something more?”

Fuck. How do I answer that question? I don’t want to say I’m just looking for fun because then she’ll think I want to sleep with her. But if I say I want something more, she’ll think I want to sleep with her and have a relationship with her. I can’t win.

Alex told me during our meeting today that it’s time to “move past the PG shit and start getting physical.” And believe me, I want to. Very badly. Just not with Farrah.

“I don’t know,” I say in answer to Farrah’s question. “It depends, I guess.”

“Cut!” Alex yells, launching himself out of his director’s chair. “Look, Lorenzo, I get that it’s hard for you non-actors to have cameras filming your intimate conversations and all, but you’re killing me. Literally ending my fucking existence. I need chemistry . Stop looking over at me. Look at her. Put your arm around her. Nibble her ear a little. Make us wonder where your hands are wandering under the water.”

I nod because I get where he’s coming from. I’ve seen these reality shows a time or two. Hell, I’m pretty sure Dom and Misty are an actual thing right now because June told everyone she saw Dom doing a walk of shame out of Misty’s room this morning.

But it’s a lot harder when you’re not feeling it. Especially when the woman you are having feelings for is watching the entire thing. It’s not Dom I keep looking at, it’s Alice.

She won’t even look at me. Every time I tried to get her attention today, she avoided me. I get that she doesn’t want to piss Farrah off, but it’s driving me crazy.

“Follow my lead,” Farrah says, putting a hand on my knee.

The cameras start rolling again, and she snuggles closer to me.

“I want to find something real,” she says, her tone earnest and sultry at the same time. “Someone who can see me at my worst and still be there.”

“Everyone deserves that.”

Her hand slides up my leg, her fingernails grazing my inner thigh. She leans her forehead against my temple, humming with amusement.

“I like that you’re a gentleman. But it’s okay to be...not a gentleman, too. I like you, Dalton.”

I have to suck it up. I’m here to perform, and even though I’m not willing to get any more physical than this, I’m likely to get kicked off the show if I don’t show any interest in Farrah.

“I like you, too.”

I turn my face just slightly toward hers, waiting for Alex to cut. Farrah puts her free hand on my cheek, easing it over so we’re face to face. She puts her lips on mine, kissing me softly and gently.

Though I don’t open my mouth, I still kiss her back. One arm stays behind her but not touching her and the other is beside me on the molded seat of the hot tub.

She slides her hand onto my dick, stroking it. “Should we go to my room?”

“Yeah, sure.”

A few more agonizing seconds pass, guilt slicing through me as I wonder whether Alice knows Farrah has her hand on my dick.

“And cut,” Alex says. “Beautiful, guys.”

I stand up as quickly as I can. “Get what you needed?”

“Yes, sir. I would like a shot of you guys walking to the bedroom hand in hand, though. Go ahead and dry off. It doesn’t look great when you’re dripping water all over the place.”

I glance at Alice, who’s sitting in her chair, looking at her phone. I hate myself for what I just did.

“No, I think it’s implied,” I say. “I’m done for tonight.”

“Oh, I forgot that you’re the director,” Alex says dryly.

I grab my towel and dry off my chest and arms. “I’m done. It’s nothing personal.”

“I agree,” Farrah says from the hot tub. “Let’s give people room to wonder what came next and assume for themselves. Alice, towel.”

Alice springs up to get her towel, avoiding my gaze. She passes by me, just a couple feet away, but I can’t say any of the things I want to say.

Farrah gets out of the hot tub and asks Alice to dry her off. It’s all I can do not to tell Farrah to fuck off and stop being such an asshole to Alice.

“Let’s go for a drive,” Farrah says to Alice. “I haven’t driven in forever, and we have a convertible.”

“Okay.”

Alice stays by Farrah’s side as they gather their things, Farrah wrapping a long skirt at her waist and fastening it. She flicks a quick gaze to me as they’re walking away--it only lasts a second, and I can’t discern the emotions swimming in her eyes.

It’s nothing good, though, which is exactly what I deserve.