Page 19 of Cathmoir’s Sons (Bad Boys of Bevington #5)

Chapter 19

Wtf?

RHODES

W hat in the ever-loving fuck?

I slide out of my chair, onto my knees, beside Lords’ crumpled form. I put my hand on his chest, feeling for the currents of his blood and breath.

There’s nothing.

“Fuck!” I reach out my free hand blindly. “Luca, help me.”

“No,” Kellan says, a metallic grate in her voice.

I whip my head around to glare at her. “His heart’s stopped. He’s not breathing. I’m not going to let him die, Kellan. Evan’s not our enemy.”

Her eyes burn blue as she returns my stare.

“Kellan. Caileán,” I bark at her. “No.”

Her jaw flexes. Her hands curl, claws clacking. Finally, she nods at Luca.

He skids to his knees next to me, his hand clasping mine, his power wrapping around mine the way it has since he brought me back from the Mother.

I channel our strength into the unmoving chest beneath my hand, tugging on the immobile currents until they flow again. The movement’s sluggish at first, then rushing as Lords’ heart heaves. It thumps against my magic once, twice, thrice, before settling into a steady beat. Lords gasps. His hand wraps around my wrist.

“Take it easy for a moment,” I warn him. “Don’t try to sit up too fast.”

“What the fuck?”

Lords wheezes as he tries to take a deep breath. Luca reaches across and runs his hand over Lords’ face. I feel a tingle, so he’s probably filling Lords’ lungs with Air.

I look over my shoulder again at Kellan. She’s leaning against Law, her face buried in the collar of his coat. He presses his lips to her hair and whispers something I can’t hear.

By the Mother, this is not the reunion I’d imagined.

I rise slowly and walk toward her with my hands held at my sides, palms up. “Are you okay?”

She nods and tips her head so she can look at me. Her eyes are so pale they’re like ice, but at least they’re not burning.

“Why would you do that? You could have killed him. Evan’s a friend.”

“He put himself between me and the Oak King,” Kellan whispers without raising her head. Law lifts his face enough from her hair to glare at me.

“Fuck’s sake, Kells. Give him a chance. You barely explained anything before you took him down ... with what? Did you nearly kill him with a memory?”

She nods, shifting closer to Law. He rubs her back and I can see the tremble in her shoulders beneath his hand.

“Did you know that would happen?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “I keep telling everyone my power’s volatile. I don’t know what I can do until I do it and ... sometimes something awful happens.”

“Shh,” Law soothes. “This is the first time your power’s lashed out. And it didn’t hurt any of us. It struck an outsider, a human?—”

“Reality check, Law,” I grumble.

He lifts his upper lip to show me a sharp incisor. “I’m aware, human. But her power recognizes you even though you’re not fae. Other humans won’t get the same consideration. She’s a queen of Faery . Faery doesn’t care about human lives.”

I run my hand through my hair, uncertain of what to say or do. I want to hold my arms out to Kellan. When she walked in, her expression was soft, loving. Her eyes were full of relief at seeing me. If Evan hadn’t been sitting beside me, I’m sure she would have run to me and told me how happy she was to see me recovered, how much she missed me. Luca told me this morning that yesterday went better than he and Law could have hoped for. He thought she was well on the way to forgiving us.

Now, I’m not sure who should be forgiving who.

I look back at Lords. He’s sitting up, one hand on the seat of his chair, the other gripping his forehead. I bet he has a hellacious headache. I move toward him to heal him again but he waves me away.

“A glass of water, if you’d be so kind,” he says.

Of course, he wants to connect with his Element. I rush to the fridge and get him a bottle of water.

Law urges Kellan to the table. He seats her at the opposite end from where Lords was sitting. He moves his own chair around so he’s next to her and curls his arm protectively around her shoulders.

Luca helps Lords back into his chair then moves to stand next to me. He looks as uncertain as I feel. What’s the polite thing to say after your girlfriend’s homicidal fit?

“Maybe I should make breakfast?” I suggest.

Lords waves away the suggestion with his free hand as he sips from the bottle.

“I could eat, human,” Law says.

I’m fairly sure there’s a pause between “eat” and “human” but I wouldn’t bet my life on it.

After giving Law an ugly side-eye, I move back to the refrigerator. Even though I’ve been splitting my time between the den and Cait House, the fridge is full to overflowing. I pass a fruit salad and a container of the muffins he likes so much to Luca when I see that he’s followed me. Knowing that the twins will want meat, I pull out a tray of breakfast links and get them on the grill. Luca returns for cups, plates, and utensils, then carries the pot of coffee I started when Lords arrived over to the table.

No one’s saying much when I bring the hot food to the table. Kellan’s huddled around her coffee; Law is huddled around Kellan. Lords is so pale he’s almost blue. Luca watches Lords warily as he eats a muffin.

“Let’s back up,” I suggest as I take my seat. “I’d like to apologize to Kellan, which I haven’t had a chance to do. Then maybe Kellan could explain the situation with the Oak King a little more?”

Lords nods, then rubs his forehead like the movement hurt him.

I look to Kellan, who gives me a wan, sad smile. I reach across the table and offer her my hand. She takes it, lacing her fingers, warm from the coffee cup, through mine. Everything narrows down to that touch, to connecting with her again. Lords, Luca, Law, they fall away as I focus on my girl.

“I missed you,” I tell her.

Her smile brightens several degrees. “I missed you, too. I have so much I’ve been dying to tell you.” Her eyes flick guiltily to Lords when she realizes what she’s said.

“I have a lot to tell you, too,” I assure her. “But the most important thing is that I’m sorry I hurt you. I shouldn’t have lied to you. When I first approached you, I was going out of my mind. I convinced myself you were going to take Luca away from me. That’s not an excuse ... there is no excuse. My reasons were shitty. I’m an asshole for not coming clean with you before our second date?—”

“Is that why you were so hot and cold?” Kellan asks softly.

“Yeah, I felt so fucking guilty. I’m used to keeping secrets. I think that’s more important to the Hale family than our actual blood relation, keeping secrets. But you were so understanding when I told you the worst about my family. And I’d fallen so damn hard for you. I wanted to tell you everything then. I was afraid of losing you, of setting you back. You were so fragile.”

Kellan nods, looking down into her coffee cup.

“Kellan.” I squeeze her fingers to get her looking at me again. “I should have built you up with the truth. I should have trusted that what we have is real. I keep acting like a scared little bitch and that’s not me. I’m not that insecure asshole. It’s not an excuse, but please know that it’s because you mean so much to me and I’m afraid of losing you, not because I don’t believe in you. In us.”

She takes a ragged breath. “Thank you. I know I haven’t been myself. I don’t have any excuse, either. I haven’t told you everything because I was scared the truth of what I was becoming would drive you away and I couldn’t risk losing you when you were my one anchor. I told Law I was afraid of loving him badly.” Tears as pale and luminous as her irises well along her black lashes. “I have loved you badly. I’ve been selfish. I’ve taken more than I’ve given. I’m so sorry, Rhodes. You deserve better.”

“I deserve you . Can we call it a mutual fuck-up and go for try number three?”

Her smile tips down. “I forgive you, but you have to understand that there can’t be anything between us while you’re a student.” She turns her head to look at Law, then Luca. “There can’t be anything between me and any of you while you’re students.”

Luca holds his hands up. “I’m not the problem here.”

Law hisses at his brother, then says to Kellan, “I have a solution to my part of it.”

“Which is?” Kellan asks.

“I’ll tell you on Monday when I’ve received confirmation.”

Kellan narrows her eyes at him. “Confirmation of what?”

“We’ll talk about it on Monday,” Law says firmly.

Kellan scowls at him before turning back to me. “Do you understand?”

“I understand. I won’t wait six months to be with you.”

Kellan’s shoulders sag and Law aims his hiss at me.

“But,” I continue, holding my hand up. “I also have a solution. I want to finish Winter Study. I want to find O’s killer. Then I’ll withdraw from Bevington. My offer from the White Cloaks isn’t conditional on me getting a degree; I’ve checked. If Bevington lets me graduate on the credits I have, great. If not, I’ll get the remaining credits from somewhere else. The White Cloaks will be happy to get me early. They actually proposed it when they made their offer last summer but I said I wanted to stay and finish my degree. They’re pretty desperate for bodies. So, it’ll really only be a month, and I can wait that long if you can.”

Kellan smiles, wide and warm. “I can wait as long as it takes.”

“Then that’s the plan,” I say, feeling a weight that’s been adrift in my chest for weeks finally settle and find its home.

“Rho, have you thought this through?” Luca asks, his voice low. “You won’t be able to compete for Bevvy if you withdraw.”

I nod. “Yeah, I know. I hate to let Coach and my team down. But I had a lot of time to think while I was recovering and there are things more important than Bevington’s swim team. More important than my degree. And they’re all right here in this room.”

I squeeze Kellan’s fingers.

“Great.” Lords groans. “Now that you’ve sorted out your love lives, can we turn back to the subject of assassinating the Oak King?”

We don’t talk more about Kellan’s plans to kill the Oak King. She deflects Evan’s questions like she’s the one who has been training for the White Cloaks. She turns the conversation around on him again and again, getting him to parse through every detail of the memory she forced into his mind until Evan’s ashen and his hands are shaking. As soon as we finish eating, he excuses himself. His exit is too speedy to be anything but a retreat.

Law’s eyes follow Evan out, alight with grim satisfaction.

“You could be less of a dick to him,” I point out, not just for Law’s edification but also for Kellan’s.

“I could,” Law agrees. “But I’m not going to be. He needs to understand that if he puts himself between us and the Oak King, there will be consequences.” He shifts his eyes to Kellan. “How much do you know about the ley lines?”

“I haven’t spent any time studying them beyond the basics at Bevvy. But I know someone who has and we’re having dinner with him tomorrow night.”

Law arches his eyebrows as he finishes his coffee. “One of Princess Teddy’s husbands?”

Kellan chortles. “Please call her that. I can’t wait to see how she responds.”

“Which one?” Luca asks. “Darwin?”

Kellan nods. “He and Teddy created a ley line while they were at Bevington. Darwin’s not an academic the way Teddy and Gabe are. He got pulled into politics immediately after they graduated. But he could have been. He certainly has the intelligence and skills for it. His thesis was on ley lines if I’m remembering correctly.”

Luca hums. “I’ll grab a book or two and brush up before tomorrow night.” His eyes slide to Law, narrowing, pupils expanding. I love that expression on him: sly and cattish. “Are we doing the thing today?”

“What thing would that be?” Law responds, his expression an echo of his twin’s but it doesn’t make my chest stir.

“The thing where we get her wet and run around in the dark.”

I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. I know what Lu’s talking about. I’m pretty sure Law does, too, since it was his suggestion. But Kellan doesn’t.

“No,” Kellan says, her icy eyes darting between the twins. “Not while you’re students.”

Luca throws his head back, laughing.

“You and your dirty mind, Professor Wyndham.”

Kellan glares at him. “Okay, what are we really doing?”

Law slides his hand over Kellan’s and curls their fingers together. “Trust me?”

“You know I do,” she responds.

I glance back and forth between them, waiting. When Kellan just smiles at Law, I ask, “You’re not going to qualify that?”

Kellan shakes her head.

I sense Luca and Law are holding their breath. Mine whooshes out of me with a smile. “Okay, then.”