Page 38

I take a seat as she reaches into the cupboard for my mug and places it under the coffee machine.

“You want a strong one?”

“Please.”

I really fucking need a strong one. My eyes are swollen from the crying and burning from the lack of sleep, and my body feels like I’m trudging through mud just walking.

Only, when she places the steaming mug in front of me and the scent of the coffee beans hits my nose, I dart for the sink.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m not ignoring it this time.”

“What?” I mutter, reaching for a glass so I can rinse my mouth.

“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

My eyebrows almost hit my hairline. “What?”

“Is there any chance?—”

“I heard you. I’m not fucking deaf.”

“Sorry,” she mutters. “Well, is there?”

“No, I’m due on … wait, what day is it?”

“Saturday.”

“Um …” I say, stalling for time as I try to get my brain to function, to work this out.

“Harlow?”

“I was due on … Tuesday.” Fuck. I’m never late. Never . “It’s probably just the stress of this week,” I say, attempting to push the idea aside, but I can tell by the look on Brooke’s face that she’s not going to forget about this.

“Put some shoes on. We’re going to the store.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. Just give it a day or two.”

“So you’ll be a week late? No. Get your shoes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Unless you just so happen to have a test in your bedroom.”

“Of course I don’t. Before C-Corey,” I stumble over his name, not wanting to allow thoughts of him and how we left things to enter my head, “I hadn’t had sex in forever. There was no way in hell I’d have been pregnant unless the myth about sitting on the same chair as a guy is actually true.”

“You used protection, right?” I can tell from the firm set of her lips that she’s about to give me a lecture if I say no.

“Of course.” I think. I know we went without this past weekend, but I was due on my period, and it was as safe as it could be.

But that first night…

There were condoms. I remember watching him rolling them on. Hell, I remember doing it myself. I also remember standing on one as I made my escape. But did we use one every time? I don’t know. There was too much Macallan to remember it all clearly.

“Really?” She juts her hip out.

Brooke might be reckless with some things, but she’s always safe where sex is concerned, or at least she claims to be. As far as I know, she hasn’t even had a scare, so she must practice what she preaches.

“I guess we’re about to find out.”

Thankfully, Brooke allows me to stay in her car while she runs into the store to get what we need.

When she emerges, it’s with the test, as promised, but also a huge bar of chocolate, the biggest tub of ice cream she could find, and a bottle of wine—although that one might be just for her.

It’s not until we pull up back outside the house and my eyes land on my car parked in its spot outside that I remember he was the last one to use it.

“H-Has he been here?”

“I assume so. I didn’t actually see him. I found your keys under the doormat.”

“He borrowed it on Monday and was meant to pick me up again after work,” I say sadly.

“Have you heard from him?”

“I haven’t looked at my cell since Monday morning. It’s probably dead in my purse.”

“So he might have been ringing all this time?”

“I highly doubt it.” My voice is cold and empty. Exactly how I feel right now.

“Come on then. Let’s see what this says.”

“Do we have to?”

“You’d rather not know?”

“I think I might, yeah.”

“You can’t live like that. Knowledge is power.” Brooke climbs out of the car, but I don’t move. Not for a long few seconds, anyway.

With a deep sigh, I push the door open and follow my best friend into our house and up to my bathroom. No time like the present, I guess.

“How long do we have to wait?” I ask, sitting down on the end of my bed with the stick in my hand.

“It says three minutes.”

“Great,” I mutter, already feeling like it’s been a year.

“It’s been two,” Brooke says, looking at her watch. “You wanna look now, or?—”

“Wait until three. We’ll know for sure then.”

Silence falls around us, and I can almost imagine the ticking of the clock as it counts down.

“Okay. Three minutes. You can look now.”

“I don’t think I can,” I admit, my hand beginning to tremble.

“Shall I…?” She steps forward and holds her hand out. But as much as turning the stick over might terrify me, allowing her to see it first is worse.

“No.”

My stomach turns. My hands shake and my mouth goes dry.

I drag in a long, slow breath and close my eyes.

When I pull them open again, I’ve spun the stick, and the result is staring right back at me.

Fuck.

The trembling of my hands gets more violent as the room starts spinning.

“Well?” Brooke asks, getting impatient.

“F-four weeks.”

“You’re pregnant?”

I swallow, trying to force the lump down that’s blocking my airway. “It would seem so.”

Closing the space between us, she drops down beside me.

My eyes are still locked on the confirmation as she wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her body.

“Are you okay?” she asks after I don’t respond. “I kind of expected you to react.”

She’s right. I’m not crying, screaming, or even feeling a sliver of happiness.

“I … um … I’m not sure I can deal with this right now.”

“Okaaay.”

“I’m just gonna …” I stand, placing the test on the dresser before slipping my shoes off and crawling into bed.

“Harlow, you need to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“But—” I cut her with a look that stops any argument falling from her lips. “Okay. I’ll … um …” She starts backing out of the room, and I allow her to go.

I need to be alone.

I need … I’ve no idea what I need.

After a few minutes, Brooke heads downstairs, but it’s not long before I hear the hushed sound of her voice as she talks to someone. A little bit of panic erupts that she might be talking to Corey, but I know she’d never do that to me.

I lie there curled up in a ball as I run through all the things I need to do. I’ve got a funeral and a wake to plan. I need to make arrangements with the funeral directors, choose flowers, songs, readings…

I must drift off to sleep, because when I wake again, the sun is setting outside, casting an orange glow around the room.

Sitting up, I look at my clock, and my eyes widen. I knew I was tired, but Christ.

My stomach grumbles, and I pull my aching body to sit on the edge of the bed.

When was the last time I ate?

I shake my head, because everything is hazy. I don’t even know what day it is.

Looking around my room for signs, my eyes land on the white plastic stick on the dresser, and everything comes crashing down.

I’m pregnant.

The sound of the doorbell drags me from my nightmare, and my heart rate picks up. I really, really don’t want to see anyone. But after only a few seconds and a couple of muffled words from Brooke, the door is closed and everything falls silent.

Risking a look out of the window, I breathe a sigh of relief when I watch a delivery man head back to his van.

After visiting the bathroom to freshen up, I drag in some courage and head downstairs.

As I descend, the scent of flowers hits me.

“Jesus,” I mutter when I come to a stop in the living room doorway. Every surface is covered in flowers. No wonder the scent almost knocked me on my ass.

“You’re awake. How are you feeling?” Brooke asks after placing the newest addition to my floral collection on the sideboard.

“I’ve been better. Where the hell are all these from?”

Flowers of all colors, size and design cover the room. They’re pretty, sure. But it’s a little over the top.

“Everyone. I haven’t opened any of the cards. Reese brought these. The bigger one’s from everyone in your office, and those are from her and Fletch. These sunflowers are from Mom and Dad—they hoped they’d make you smile. I don’t know for sure about the others. I thought you’d want to open them.”

I nod, feeling totally out of my depth and overwhelmed that people took time out of their lives to do this. I know I’m surrounded by kind people, but I really didn’t expect it.

My stomach grumbles once again, so loudly that Brooke doesn’t miss it.

“What do you want? I’ll cook or order anything.”

“Chinese,” I say without a second thought. “And cheesecake.”

“You got it.” She pulls her cell from her back pocket and starts tapping away. “Is there anything else you need while I’m at it?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Ignoring her, I take a step into the room and run my fingertip over the soft, bright yellow petals of the sunflowers. They really are beautiful. I pluck the card from the center and flip it over.

All our love and thoughts,

We’re here for whatever you need.

Sarah and Neil

Xxx

My heart aches, reading their words.

I move to the next ones and find similar messages from Mags, Reese, my aunt’s best friend, some others from work, and even some of the players.

But it’s the final bouquet that makes me pause.

I have no idea why—there’s nothing that really makes it stand out against the others. Just a feeling. A premonition.

My hand shakes as I reach for the card and pull it from its little envelope.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Yours.

C x

I gasp, my eyes burning with tears as I stare at his handwriting and the small sketch of a dandelion in the corner of the card. It’s the same as my tattoo.