Page 16

CALLYN

I’m alone in a carriage, belted into the finest clothes I could find in my wardrobe, and I’m rattling over the cobblestone streets of the Crystal City on the way to visit Alek.

I wish I had weapons and armor. I feel like I need them.

Really, I wish I had my patched skirts and a cast-iron skillet from my bakery. Sometimes I can close my eyes and imagine myself back there. Usually it’s when Verin is finding a new spot to leave a bruise, but just now I wish I could reverse time to that moment when Jax first dropped coins onto my table so I could tell him to give them back.

But my chest clenches. Nothing was easier then.

No one knows the real reason I’m going to see Alek. I didn’t even tell Nora, and guilt is pricking at my chest. Officially, I’m only visiting his Royal House, where I’ve been tasked with selecting fabrics for a winter wardrobe for Princess Sinna. When I asked the queen if anyone would find it suspicious that Lord Alek wasn’t bringing fabric samples to the palace, she said that obviously I would want to see the latest weaves and dyes on the loom, not something available now.

The funniest thing is that the queen said this so offhandedly, as if anything else would even be in question. As if I’ve ever had the luxury of selecting new fabric, much less choosing before it’s even come off a loom. I know she wants the best for all her people, but comments like this sometimes remind me just how different our lives are.

I peek through the carriage window. Dawn sunlight sparkles on the storefronts as we pass through the city, though there’s a haze in the air that warns of rain to come. The city seems vast compared to Briarlock, which was so tiny that I knew every dusty street by the time I was eight. Here, the city sprawls for miles and miles that I can see from the palace windows, shops and taverns and vendors and so many glistening paths and alleys that I could never learn them all.

I sit back against the cushion and let the scenery fly by. I wish I’d brought Nora. Her chattering is endless, but I could use a distraction.

The queen said she didn’t need me to be a spy, but I feel like one all the same.

The carriage eventually rattles to a stop. Gray marble steps are all I can see through the tiny window, but then a footman swings open the carriage door. I jerk back as if he’s going to physically haul me out.

But of course he doesn’t. He steps back to stand at attention. “Lady Callyn,” he announces.

I will never get used to that. I want to hide in the carriage for another five minutes. I smooth my damp hands on my robes. Maybe I really can just go look at fabrics and looms.

But that feels cowardly. I grit my teeth and shift forward—just as a pair of perfectly laced and polished black boots descend the staircase.

I know it’s Alek before I hear his voice. “Come now, Lady Callyn,” he says, the slightest emphasis on the word lady , “there’s no need to hide in the carriage.”

“I’m not hiding,” I say.

But I absolutely am.

He reaches the bottom of the staircase just as I spur myself to step out of the vehicle, and suddenly we’re standing in the early morning haze together. No matter when I see him, he always looks very fine, very elegant. I know he’s a well-trained swordsman, but I have a hard time imagining him on a battlefield, just because he might get dirty . This morning, he’s in a jacket of deep blue indigo with an intricate pattern of light blue embroidery around each button, and calfskin trousers that fit him so well they might have been stitched onto his body.

I kind of want to punch him in the throat.

“Perfectly presentable,” he says. His eyes warm as they hold mine. “More so, really.”

I stare right back at him boldly. “Please don’t pretend to flatter me, my lord. I am only here to look at fabrics for Princess Sinna.”

He smiles, and it’s cunning. “I don’t pretend anything with you, Callyn.” He turns, extending a hand toward the staircase. “Shall we? I assumed you wouldn’t have time for breakfast, so I’ve had some food prepared.”

He’s right—though it’s more that I was too nervous to eat. But I almost falter, because this kind of generosity was unexpected.

Then I get a good look at where we’re going, and all the breath rushes out of my lungs.

The building at the top of the steps is massive, gray-and-white stone stretching in all directions, with marble accents and archways everywhere. Purple flowers burst from every windowsill, and it seems there are hundreds . Many of the windows have tiny stained glass figures in the center, meticulous designs depicting flowers or horses or armored warriors. At each doorway, liveried guards stand at attention, and a packed dirt road seems to lead through a narrow courtyard to my right, where I spy shadows that indicate more outbuildings just like this one.

Lord Alek clears his throat, and I realize I’m staring, my mouth practically hanging open.

I snap it shut. “Sorry.”

“Shall I give you a tour?”

I can’t tell if he’s serious or if he’s teasing me, but knowing him, it’s the latter. Something in my belly clenches tight. To think he was visiting my run-down farm in Briarlock. How it must have looked to him. What he must have thought.

I was such a fool.

I have to swallow, and it’s a battle to keep a frown off my face. My thoughts have cooled altogether. “No. Thank you. Breakfast will be fine.”

I don’t know what he hears in my tone, but he studies me for a moment, as if he realizes that our spiteful banter is over, and he’s not quite sure why. “As you say. This way.”

Similarly to the palace, he has footmen and servants, people who open doors and draw out chairs and pour me a cup of tea before I even have time to think about wanting some. Everything is finely detailed in ways I would never expect, little whispers of wealth and means around every corner. Tiny stitching along the edge of each napkin, forming a perfect design that matches the mile-long tablecloth—all of which must have been embroidered by hand. Painted designs on each individual teacup, little accents of purple and gray beside the filigree. Even the stained glass that adorns this window—a flowering tree, in this room—has tiny gems set into the glass that spark the light in new directions.

In the palace, I expected extravagance. The king and queen live there. Of course they’re surrounded by finery.

But . . . this is a home . Alek left all this to ride through Briarlock, where he saw a poor blacksmith and his best friend, the girl who owned the broken-down bakery. Once he saw how we lived, he knew we were desperate, and he used us against the king.

My chest tightens, and for a terrifying moment, I want to rip off these fine clothes and demand that he take me back so I can forget all of this.

No, I want to pour this steaming pot of tea right in his lap. Where’s Nora to grab his ear when I need her?

“Callyn.”

I take a glistening roll from a basket and break it in half. “What,” I say flatly.

“What did I do between the carriage and this table?”

I take a small pat of butter and envision jabbing the butter knife right into his eye. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, my lord.”

He leans in against the table. “I still don’t understand how you can be so bold with me, yet cower from Verin in the arena.”

“I don’t cower,” I snap.

“You’re proving my point. Are you going to stab that bread?”

“I’m about to stab you .”

“If you wanted to fight, you should have shown up in armor. Shall I have some brought?”

I make a frustrated sound and throw the buttered roll at him. “Don’t you understand that’s exactly the problem?”

He’s too agile, and he snatches the bread out of the air, but not before it splatters a streak of butter across the front of his jacket. Alek sets the roll on a plate, then wipes his hands on a napkin. When he looks down at his clothes, he sighs and stands.

As he begins unbuttoning the jacket, he says, “If you want me to undress, there are more intriguing ways to achieve it.”

I flush immediately . “We will not be doing . . . ? that .”

His jacket has about a million buttons, and he’s only halfway down his chest, revealing a cream-colored shirt. “Explain what you meant about the problem .”

I hate that I can’t stop looking at his hands, the way his nimble fingers are working the buttons. It’s reminding me of the way those fingers felt against me .

I wish I could turn my brain off.

I frown at my teacup. “You said you could call for armor if we wanted to fight.”

“I can. Shall we?”

“Would you stop? Don’t you understand that most people can’t just . . . call for things?”

“Yes.” He’s three quarters of the way down his chest now. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It means that I resent you for what you did, Alek! You saw who we were, and you saw how we lived, and you took advantage.”

I throw the words like a weapon, and I expect them to cause pain when they land, but he doesn’t react. Eventually he reaches the last button of his jacket, and he shrugs free to lay it over the back of a chair. His servants have been so efficient that I’m shocked when no one appears to whisk it away. But Alek turns back his shirtsleeves, then eases into his chair once more.

“On the other side of the mountain,” he says, “they believe in fate.”

Clouds above, he is infuriating . I clench my fists. “So you’re not even going to respond to my—”

“I am ,” he says. “Be patient.”

I snap my mouth shut.

“I’ve always found it a bit fascinating,” he says. “This idea that . . . ?that something else is in control. If you ask me, that belief lends itself a little too neatly to political scheming. If someone believes that fate saw fit to reward one person with power and riches, it would stand to reason that fate saw fit to punish others with loss or sickness or poverty. The people in Emberfall believe fate granted their king the throne. What do they believe about the man he took it from?” He pauses. “What do they believe about the people who suffered in their cursed country for years? Was fate punishing them? Does the king feel more righteous about his magic—magic that can cause so much harm ? When you believe in something like fate, you could easily start to assume that your own good fortune is earned , and someone else’s bad fortune is deserved .” He pauses. “But really, Callyn, sometimes it’s all just . . . ?happenstance.”

I’m frowning, studying him, because I have no idea what this has to do with my question to him .

He picks up another roll and breaks it in two, then begins to butter it. “You’re right. I did see how you and Nora lived—or were you referring to you and Jax? Either way, it doesn’t matter. You keep accusing me of taking advantage, but as you may recall, I did my best to improve your situation. I sent customers to your bakery. I brought you and your sister new clothes. I repaired your barn. Because I don’t believe in fate. I’m no more to blame for my birthright than you are. I was born here . You were born there . Neither of us had anything to do with either outcome.” He sets the buttered roll on a plate and slides it in front of me. “Here. You didn’t get to eat your bread.”

I have no idea what to say. I hate how he twists up all my thoughts and makes me doubt myself.

But I remember the scars on Jax’s neck, the way he was afraid of Alek.

“You hurt Jax ,” I say. “Don’t even try to deny it. You can’t paint yourself as some kind of benevolent figure.”

“That’s your complaint? Your proof?” His eyes flash. “I would have been just as generous with Jax if he hadn’t schemed and manipulated from the very instant Lady Karyl approached him. I would’ve been more trusting if he weren’t spending hours with the King’s Courier after we paid for his silence. I’ve told you before: if Jax doesn’t like dangerous games, he shouldn’t play.”

“We were desperate!” I cry, and to my horror, my voice breaks. “Don’t you understand? We were going to lose our homes !”

“We were also desperate!” he snaps. He slams a hand on the table and I jump. “It’s life or death for us, too, Callyn! Just what do you think the punishment for treason is?”

I’m frozen in place, staring at him. I’ve never seen his anger like this, but there’s something very . . . very honest about it. Very true. His blue eyes are like icy fire, and I don’t know what to say.

“It’s different ,” I finally rasp out.

“No. It’s not. Why is your desperation worth more? Why is it all right for Jax to demand fifty silvers for holding a note for three days— fifty! —all while reminding me that the King’s Courier had been in Briarlock, threatening us with discovery—”

“That’s not what Jax was doing.”

“It’s exactly what he was doing.”

I swallow. It’s not . Not really—but maybe we’re splitting hairs too finely. Jax wasn’t deliberately threatening Alek and Lady Karyl, but he was trying to get too much silver out of them. I remember worrying he was pushing too hard, that he was going to end up with a sword in his gut. He kept telling me he had nothing to lose.

And in his case, that was sadly true. I had my sister, but Jax had only a drunk, abusive father who probably would’ve put him in the ground if he could earn a coin for it.

“He wasn’t trying to threaten you,” I say to Alek, but my hands are shaking now. Everything is turned around. “He was just trying to help me. Me and Nora.”

Alek’s eyes are still frozen over, ice cold. “You think I live a life of callous privilege, with no regard for anyone else, despite the fact that I have tried to prove otherwise countless times.” His gaze darkens. “I paid what Jax demanded because I could afford it, and it was obvious that he was desperate. But I’ve told you before that I don’t like when people work for nothing more than silver. It makes them far too easy to be swayed by the highest bidder. Jax was playing both sides, and the risks were too great. I cut my losses as soon as I saw an opportunity.”

I freeze, remembering. “You mean the night you came to my bakery.” Alek barely knew me then. I remember how he showed up with bloodstained parchment. I drew a knife because I thought he was going to kill me—but he didn’t.

“Yes. It would have been simpler to kill him. Easier. You certainly know I had the means, and I rather doubt anyone would’ve much cared. But I didn’t. Because Jax is no more to blame for his birthright and upbringing than I am for mine.”

I have to swallow. I hate how he takes everything I feel certain about, and he turns it on its head.

But he’s right. I didn’t think about it being life or death for him, too.

I inhale to tell him so, but then I consider everything else he did in Briarlock.

“But you fixed my barn,” I say. “That’s where you trapped the queen.”

“I did nothing to the queen,” he snaps.

I swallow. “Fine. They. Where they trapped the queen.”

“As a matter of convenience, I’m sure. I didn’t need to turn your barn into a prison.”

Somehow we’ve gotten closer to the true reason for my visit, without my even intending it. This is why Queen Lia Mara sent me. To hear his warnings and learn what may be truths.

I just don’t know if I can trust him. Everything he said sounds so logical. So possible .

Maybe that makes me the biggest fool of all.

Alek sighs. “Let me give you a different story,” he says. “A different course of events.”

I look up. “All right.”

“Imagine if Lady Clarinas—forgive me, Lady Karyl —had arrived at Jax’s forge, and offered him ten silvers to hold a note for another traveler who would arrive later that day. And instead of being flippant and rude and demanding twice as much, Jax accepts this very generous offer and holds the note. When I arrive hours later, instead of finding you both in conversation with the King’s Courier ”—his voice tightens—“I find Jax right where he’s supposed to be, right where he was paid to be: waiting in the forge. He gives me the note, I give him the coins he’s due, and probably a little more, because I’m reassured by his commitment to his duty, and I want to show that loyalty will be rewarded. Imagine how the following weeks would have gone.”

I inhale sharply, and he holds up a finger.

“Imagine it,” he says. “Truly, before you debate with me.”

I let out that breath. “Lady Karyl was rude to him ,” I say.

“From my understanding, he was short and surly from the moment she appeared at the forge.” Alek gives me a look. “I’ve met Jax on several occasions and I have no reason to doubt her accounting.”

Oh, Jax. It doesn’t make her behavior acceptable, but he probably was short and surly.

“His entire life was miserable,” I say quietly. “His father—” I stop short, because this isn’t my story to tell, and I don’t want to talk about Jax behind his back. His father is dead anyway. “You don’t understand.”

“But I do understand. And it doesn’t matter if he had a reason for being rude. We all make choices for reasons that others don’t comprehend. My point is that you continue to paint me as cruel and vicious and call me a liar , when I’ve been honest with you since the first minute I met you.”

“And you truly had nothing to do with the attack on Queen Lia Mara and Princess Sinna?”

“Nothing at all.”

I wait, but that’s all he says. I drop my voice and say, “You know why I’m really here, Alek.”

“To look at fabric samples?”

I glare at him. He stares back at me implacably.

“You know that’s not really why,” I say.

“Oh, I’ve deliberated over your motives since I first got word of your visit. But when you arrived, you rather clearly declared that you resent me. You still do. I can see it in your eyes. I’m wondering why you think I should trust you .”

I snap back in my chair.

He studies me for a long moment, then stands to pour wine into two of the goblets on the table. It’s early in the morning, so I don’t reach for mine, but he sits and takes a sip from his. “See?” he says. “Much like Jax, you can’t say whatever you want and then be upset when faced with the consequences of your actions.”

“The queen thought you might talk to me.”

“I am talking to you.”

I cast a furtive glance at the doorway. “About the Truthbringers.”

“Why do you keep whispering?”

I want to kick him in the shins. “Are you really not going to talk to me about anything that matters?”

“I’m going to show you some very fine fabrics that will delight the princess.”

Frustration swells in my chest. “But the queen—”

“The queen will have to learn that these baseless accusations of treason have delayed my shipments and damaged my relationships among the Royal Houses. Perhaps allowing the king to treat her most upstanding citizens with suspicion and mistrust was a poor decision on her part.”

“The queen is allowing the king to find out who kidnapped his family ,” I say tightly.

Alek shrugs. “Well, it wasn’t me. Perhaps sending her daughter’s spiteful nanny to negotiate for information was not the best choice.”

My frustration turns into rage. “I’m not spiteful, and you’re the one who—”

“Callyn, I’m going to have to insist that you eat breakfast at some point. I simply do not have all day.”

I pick up the roll and tear a piece with my teeth. “I should’ve had you call for weapons, because now I’m ready to fight.”

“Indeed?” He raises his voice to call for a servant.

I was one hundred percent kidding. “Wait—Alek—no, I was—”

He leans in, and the look in his eyes stops the words on my tongue. It’s challenging and frightening and exhilarating all at once.

He touches a finger to my chin and holds my gaze. “Weapons, you say? Let’s go.”