Page 23 of Carver (Satan’s Angels MC #8)

Bronte

E lowen goes to bed at eight every night.

She’s slept through the night since she was around six months old.

I worried that being in a new place, so many changes to her routine would make her fussy and hard to get down, but she’s been sleeping for an hour.

The house already had a security system installed, and I didn’t feel the need for a baby monitor.

The house is about seven hundred square feet, with the upstairs entirely open.

It’s been sectioned off to make two bedrooms by privacy screens.

I know that if Elowen makes even a whimper in her sleep, I’ll hear it, no matter where I am in the house.

Other people might resent not having their privacy, and in the future, we might need to make some changes to the upstairs if we stay here, but knowing that only a few ornate wicker screens separate our bedrooms is a huge relief after sharing my bedroom with Elowen since she was born.

“I wasn’t sure what to expect from today, but it surpassed every one of my hopes and dreams. I would ten out of ten recommend it and go through all the anxiety and excitement of moving again.”

We’re standing in the kitchen drinking cups of pear green tea.

It’s my mom’s favorite flavour and Dom is pretty much addicted to it.

Before bed at home, my mom brews a pot and we all sit around the table or in the living room, reading or talking.

If we’re having a movie night, we change it up and do black tea with cookies, or whatever was baked that afternoon.

It’s nice to keep the same ritual my parents are probably doing right now.

“Not that I had much stress. You guys did everything yourselves. All the furniture was picked out for us and showed up here and was set into place. I didn’t have to do anything.

It was incredible. All I had to do was pack clothes and Ellie’s favorite toys.

Gabriel and Dad put the boxes of books in the truck for me, and they were all taken out and unpacked by so many different hands, that I didn’t have to do that either.

I might as well have snapped my fingers and a whole house materialized. ”

Dom clears his throat. He seems nervous suddenly. He was tired earlier, so after putting Elowen in her crib and staying until she fell asleep, I suggested we have some tea to relax before bed.

Bed.

Is that what’s making him edgy?

In the past we wouldn’t have just leapt on each other.

We’ve always been intensely attracted to each other, but there’s been so much mutual respect and…

I don’t even know how to describe it other than to say that we’ve both found a great deal of pleasure in discovering all there is to know about each other.

We grew into pleasure together. We learned what sex was with each other.

It was never just about our bodies. We wanted to make a world with each other that was about more than getting off.

Orgasms are nice, but what always made the whole thing special for me was the connection .

I know we still have that, but being here is a little bit like starting over completely. I don’t disregard our past for a second, but my body has changed. Dom’s has too. We’ll be discovering each other all over again, and that’s both thrilling and a little terrifying.

“I could… sleep on the couch down here if you want. It reclines, so it’s probably comfy. I could watch hospital dramas all night if I can’t sleep, so that’s a bonus.”

“Hospital dramas?” He’s not serious right now, is he? “You’ve never even owned a TV before.”

“Hence the novelty. It’s hard to fall asleep watching a laptop.”

“Is this something you did at Dravin’s?” If this is what he needs, I’m all for it, but I keep waiting for him to tell me he’s kidding.

“Not exactly.”

“So you want to start because you have trouble sleeping from the pain?”

“The stitches came out a few days ago.” That was the first thing I noticed this morning. The swelling in Dom’s face has gone down dramatically since I saw him last.

It’s been far too long. Texting and calling wasn’t anywhere near enough. I’ve missed him in every way. Even when he was surly and keeping his distance from me at his farm, I’d still get to see him a few times every week when I brought him groceries.

“But you’re still having some pain?”

“I’m doing much better. I hardly have any pain at all.”

I set my mug down on the counter and press my fingers into my eye sockets. I was up beyond early this morning, and they’re grainy. Rubbing them only makes them bleary. I should be able to figure this out, but I’m fried.

I met so many new people today. It was wonderful, exhilarating, and exhausting.

Dravin and Kael were the last to leave and they didn’t head out until after dinner, since I begged them to stay.

They were excited to get over to their new house, but they were happy to let us thank them for organizing all of this with a spaghetti dinner.

Ellie wore most of hers and flung what she didn’t drape herself in at our guests.

I guess that was her way of saying thank you as well.

“You want to sleep down here because you’re worried that I don’t want you in bed with me?” That’s such a hard thing to comprehend that it took me a minute to even get there.

Dom wraps both hands around his mug, holding it low, by his waist. “I don’t want to make assumptions or be pushy. This is new and it might take some adjusting.”

I nod, but I do believe that honesty is the best policy, so I give him my full confession. “I’ve never wanted to hold you and be held more than I do now. I want to adjust by relearning you. I want you to discover me all over again. Make me yours again, Dominic.”

I don’t know what to do with myself when he doesn’t respond. It’s going to take more than a few simple words to connect us to each other when we’ve been standing on opposite ends of a chasm with only a broken bridge between us for so long.

I take his mug from him and set it on the counter. He angles away, jaw clenched, a vein in his temple throbbing. I think his instinct is to run, or just walk to the other room. Not away from me, but to give himself a second with his thoughts.

I probably should let him, but I catch him around the waist instead, wrapping my arms around him and flattening myself against his back.

“Wait?” I don’t beg. Just ask. He stills, breathing hard, his chest rising and falling against my cheek.

I inhale everything, filling my lungs with the scent of him.

He’s always been fresh air, tall grass, open skies, and earth.

“I know that you still feel this disconnect. I didn’t give you time for my sake. I gave it for yours. You needed to learn how to love yourself again.”

He lets out a shuddering breath. “If I ever did.”

Those sharp wolf canines bite down on the edges of my heart again, all the rage and pain on Dominic’s behalf detonating in me again, but I push through it.

“If you ever did. I need you to know that I’m always going to love you, even if our life doesn’t resemble a fairytale.

I’m not just waiting for that moment when everything changes, the freaking planets align, and all of a sudden everything is wonderful forever.

Even if the years are rough, and we don’t figure it out right until the end, or ever, I’m going to love you through it.

I’m going to change how I love you as you change.

People don’t stay the same over a lifetime, so love can’t either.

I’m in this with you, Dom. Now and forever. ”

Dom inhales roughly again, another shuddering breath that rattles in his lungs and out. My eyes are on fire, and I realize that his shirt is wet beneath my cheek because I’m crying. I kiss his shoulder blades, the tears coming harder when his hand comes down on mine, clenching over my fingers.

He guides my palm down, beneath the gray cotton t-shirt that I bought him a few months ago and dropped off with the groceries.

He works it up a few inches, but I continue, working the left side up. He shoves his arm through, then guides it over his right arm. He’s used to his limited range of motion, so he helps me. I’m so careful pulling it over his face.

I’ve never undressed him from behind.

I’ve never stood behind him like this, with him stripped bare in every way.

It takes a lot of trust to give someone your back.

I scrape a kiss over his shoulder blade and then the other. The way he has to position his arm causes the bone to dip down with that side of his body. I kiss him there too before I trail kisses down his spine. His hair has grown out since he left Avandale.

I kiss the base of his neck, which feels the most vulnerable. He shivers and his skin breaks out in goosebumps. The tiny hairs at the back of his neck stand on end. My body hums with electricity that generates the most startling warmth.

He’s so much taller than I am, broader, and leanly muscled, but I can angle myself to the side, kissing his shoulder and upper arm, and reach around him.

His harsh gasp as my hand traces his abs echoes through the tiny kitchen.

I know that he hasn’t been eating properly.

I made sure he had groceries, but I know that he was lost to that too.

He wasn’t hungry when he was obsessively carving, or when he was in pain of any sort.

He’s hard muscle over bone, leaner, but the kind of lean that some athletes get.

I can trace every single one of his abs.

I do, memorizing their new definition. My fingertips skim his jeans.

He chokes, but instead of pulling away or capturing my hand to relocate it, he undoes the button one-handed.

That simple gesture is like a silent plea. He wants me close. He needs me to touch him.