Page 36 of Caruso (Vegas Mafia #3)
Chapter Thirty-Six
Tommaso
B y the looks of it, the meeting didn’t go well. I studied every slump of her shoulders, every hard expression he directed her way and the dismissive body language that told me he is no threat to me—to us.
He’s a lowlife, evident from the company he keeps and the clothes he is wearing. Trailer trash made good. I sized him up in seconds.
Taylor has her back to me, and when I saw her slip his card into the plant, I signaled to my guard to retrieve it later.
I must take a look at that for information. Jason needs to be filed into the past because we are her future. I understand that now because the idea of her going anywhere with him is ridiculous.
She turns, and her expression is impassive as she heads back to the table. Her food uneaten, her anger evident .
“I want to leave.”
She stands at the edge of the table, destruction heavy in her eyes, and I nod, peeling off two fifties as I follow her outside. She doesn’t walk past their table on purpose, avoiding any further contact, and I like that—a lot.
As the guards close in around us, I notice Jason’s eyes following us and relish the astonishment in his eyes. I pin him to his seat with my darkened gaze and am positive he is shitting his pants right now, judging from the way his skin pales and he shifts on his seat.
We move at speed toward our car, and as the guard holds open the door, Taylor slips inside to the edge of the seat and pointedly stares out of the window. Obscuring her face from me, disguising her pain and I type out a text to the driver as well as my brothers.
It’s only when we reach the outskirts of the city that she turns and wipes her eyes on the back of her hand and sniffs, “What’s happening?”
“We’re taking a detour.”
“Where?”
If anything, she appears afraid about that, so I am compelled to reassure her, not wanting to add to her anxiety.
“Our home in the mountains.”
“Really?” She blinks in surprise. “Giorgio wanted to take me there. Will he be there?”
“No.” I shake my head.
“I figure we need time alone, princess. It’s the best place for that.”
“But–” her eyes widen and her mouth drops and I reach for her hand and surprise her by kissing the back of it.
“You are in shock and grieving for the past. I happen to know a lot about that, so call this therapy.”
“For you?”
“No, princess. I’m beyond help, but you, well, you could use some time out, and the mountain air is good for healing. A few days should be enough time to process what happened today, process the last few weeks and adjust your mindset accordingly.”
“With you.”
“With me.”
“Why?” Her curious smile hits me in a place I wasn’t expecting, and I lean back, unsure if this is really such a good idea.
“Why not with me?”
“Because you hate me.”
“Hate.” I shake my head, my eyes narrowing, causing her to shrink back against her seat.
“I hate a lot of things, princess. I hate how cruel the world is, unforgiving and relentless. I hate untidiness, unrestraint and things out of my control. I also hate events that are out of my control, but I don’t hate you. How could I? I don’t know enough about you to form that opinion.”
“Well–” She smiles, and it takes me by surprise. “I don’t hate you, Tommaso. I am trying to, but well, you kind of fascinate me.”
“I’m good with that.” I squeeze her hand. “I’ll ask you again in a few days if you still don’t hate me. It will be interesting to discover whether your opinion has changed.”
“I’ll let you know.”
Her smile is bright. Too bright. The weariness in her eyes and the slight slump to her shoulders tell me everything I require. Something happened back there that doesn’t take a genius to figure out. He crashed her dreams and then set them on fire, and I wonder if I’m about to do the same.
She falls silent, and I’m okay with that. Silence is my friend, most of the time anyway. It’s a good place to be, allowing your mind to process things in a more controlled way. Quelling any sudden reaction that you will ultimately regret in the end.
A slight sniff draws my attention, and I notice her hand reach to her face as she wipes her eyes, attempting to disguise the fact that she’s crying.
“What are the tears for?”
I’m a little harsh in my delivery, and she sighs.
“For me.”
“You cry for yourself, why?”
“Because I don’t like the person I am, I guess.”
“And you reached that conclusion because?”
“Because of Jason. I thought we were close; it appears I was wrong. He said–” She draws in a shaky breath. “He told me I was just a kid he felt sorry for. I’m guessing that will be inscribed on my tombstone. Here lies a girl everyone felt sorry for and then she died .”
Her attempts at humor don’t fool me, and I keep my voice firm as I reply, “And so you thought you would join them.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be.” I fix her with a hard glare.
“If, as you say, everyone feels sorry for you, don’t give them the opportunity.
Make them reverse their opinion. Pity isn’t an emotion that helps you heal.
It’s accepting the circumstances and vowing never to be in the same position again.
Using the pain to drive you on until nothing can hurt you in the same way. ”
“You sound as if you speak from experience.”
I brush her comment aside.
“We all have reasons to curl into a ball and die, princess. It’s only the strong of mind and heart who can uncurl themselves and fight back. To prove you are a survivor, a person to be reckoned with. Take your friend as an example.”
“I have no friends.” This time she delivers her speech with a hard expression, and I smile, catching her off guard.
“That’s better.”
She hesitates and then takes a deep breath.
“You speak from experience.”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
“Both.”
“Possibly, but I have learned to forget the past and move on. You should do the same.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking about.”
For some reason, I can tell I’m not going to like this, and she sighs heavily. “I don’t want to be like Jason. I’m better than that.”
“In what way?”
“He told me he’s getting married to a woman in her eighties.”
I raise my eyes but say nothing as she continues. “He said he could hook me up with the same agency he uses. Marry a geriatric and hope they leave their money to you but spend it wildly while you can while they’re still alive.”
“Is that what he was doing with his friends?”
“Yes. He told me that people like us owe it to themselves to seize the opportunity. To catch a break and make the best of ourselves. But is that really making the best of yourself? It appears to be the opposite, in my opinion.”
“So you won’t take him up on his offer.”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
This time I can’t disguise my smile, and she cocks her head to one side.
“You’re a strange man, Tommaso.”
“Thank you.”
I turn the conversation back to the only thing I want to know right now.
“So, you’ve made a decision about your life.”
“I have.” Her smile is weak and her eyes heavy with pain as she sighs, “I’m leaving.”
“To go where?”
“I’m not sure—anywhere. Somewhere new, to start again and see what I can make of my life. ”
I remain silent because my mind is telling me to pin her down and handcuff her to the bed if necessary because she is definitely going nowhere, which surprises me because my plan was different this morning.
“You already did that.” I remind her, and she nods.
“Yes, but I was hooked on the past, and well, my past won’t define my future. You see–” She shifts a little away from me, and I hate how that bites.
“I’m not Jason, Tommaso. If I stay with you, I will be the same as him.”
“We don’t want to marry you, princess, and give a guy a break, why don’t you? We’re hardly eighty. I’m guessing we only have fifteen years or so on you.”
She chuckles softly, and as her gray soulful eyes lift to mine, she says confidently, “I want to stay. I love being with you—all of you but it will always be in the back of my mind that I am only here for one thing. It’s not enough, which may sound ungrateful because you have all given me so much in such a short space of time.
More than anyone has in my life so far, but I don’t deserve handouts.
If I am to survive and to be a better person, I must cut all ties and move away from Vegas.
To a small town perhaps, where I can take a job in a diner. ”
I resist reaching out and gripping her hard, forcing her to retract that statement because she is going nowhere.
However, force won’t work with Taylor; she’s not the frightened woman she thinks she is.
She’s strong, resilient and a warrior, and she doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s now a Caruso, and we don’t run from anything, not without setting our past on fire and kicking away the ashes first.