Page 19 of Captive Vows (The Dubinin Bratva #1)

GAbrIELLA

I hadn’t caught my breath from coming so hard before the sound of the door clicking shut reached my ears.

Luka left.

Before I had a chance to come down from the high of my orgasm.

Without a word.

Not a second thought at all.

He came in here to distract me with his wicked touches and sinful kisses.

Then he was gone. He’d left me here just the way I was as I came so intensely from his mouth and fingers on me.

My legs remained draped over the edge of the stage.

My feet dangled, my panties caught at one ankle.

At the shake of my arms from reclining on them for so long, I cringed and tried to sit up to relieve the pressure on them.

All of my muscles were raw, my limbs too loose from how he’d shaken me.

But it was the cool air on the exposed skin between my legs that registered the most.

He'd left me here like this , spent and open. Bared. Used. Teased.

Willing my heart to slow down from the rush of coming, I sat there and continued to catch my breath. That confusing, damning Mafia boss gave me pleasure orally, then took off.

I bet he hadn’t even looked back.

Giving up on the stupid thought that he might’ve merely left to get something to clean me up, I scooted off the ledge to stand. My legs were still shaky, but holding on to the stage helped.

I couldn’t risk falling. No injuries would be welcome now.

My audition was in two days, and I surely had no business exercising like this. The first couple of steps I took sharply reminded me of precisely how Luka had touched me. How he’d proven to be a master of me in a way no other man had.

No one had ever touched me like that. Hell, besides a couple of little kisses, no man had ever kissed me like that, either.

Now, I knew what he meant when he said he’d take what he wanted. Clearly, he’d wanted me. Just not enough to linger and get something in return.

Why?

Why would he leave me like this?

Does he think I can’t handle him? That I can’t repay the favor?

I’d never done anything with a man before, so perhaps he was right to guess how ignorant I was. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t teach myself. That I wouldn’t figure it out and pay attention to his cues.

Feeling cheated and rejected, I shook my head and grabbed my panties.

Bunching them in my hand, I turned off the lights to the studio and left.

There was no point in hanging out here. My concentration was shot.

Those former worries about whether my commitment to ballet was trivial were forgotten.

As I walked to my room, the only thing on my mind was that I’d crossed a boundary with my captor.

The fine lines of resistance were blurring where Luka was involved, and I couldn’t be sure if I was forfeiting or adapting to my new reality.

I slowed down as I passed his room. Both doors were closed, as they always were. I had yet to even peek inside his personal quarters, but I wondered now what he was doing in there. His erection had to be tended to. That furious need in his eyes had to be dealt with.

Is he in there… doing that?

I sighed, shaking my head at how forbidden it seemed to even think about him pleasuring himself. Or why he’d choose that route instead of being with me in the studio.

Come on. Stop. Think about what you’re suggesting. Losing your virginity? To him?

This was nonsense. Or it was supposed to be. He wasn’t supposed to be the one to make that spark of interest flare this hotly inside me. He wasn’t supposed to be the man to make me feel so alive and needy.

I showered and went to bed, restless with the flashbacks of how he’d pleasured me. When I woke up the next day, he was the first thing on my mind.

Throughout the day, I waited for him to approach me. To offer me guidance of how it would be now. Of what to expect next.

He didn’t. Not once did he come to me. To talk to me, to check on me.

To even look at me. That distance was between us again.

A couple of texts gave me the hint that he wouldn’t be available, busy with work.

Allen, the ever-present butler-like assistant, told me not to expect him home any time soon.

I hated it, but I got the message.

Luka had taken what he wanted—my submission in that orgasm.

And that was all he’d wanted.

Instead of dwelling on his reaction to being intimate with me at all, to showing me how I “inspired” him, I put all my energy into preparing for the audition.

Luka could do this hot-and-cold, close-and-far routine all he wanted.

I wished I could know why he’d go to such extremes to kidnap me and keep me locked up here and within his convenient reach when he’d just avoid me again.

Every time I tried to analyze and wonder why he’d play with me like this, I doubled down on practicing and prepping for my audition.

Still, he was there, lurking in the back of my mind. Shame grew as I realized he’d spurned this newfound lust and interest that I couldn’t turn off. The more he stayed away, the more I wanted to experience that sensual danger of letting him kiss and touch me again.

Focus on what matters.

I wanted to. Trapped here, I was given so many things I couldn’t take for granted.

He’d built me a studio. He provided instructors.

He’d secured a private audition. I had no clue how many strings he’d had to have pulled to make that happen.

Those were all gifts I’d never receive otherwise, so when I put it in perspective like that, I struggled not to feel selfish to want him when he’d already given me other things to bring my dreams closer to coming true.

On the night of the audition, I felt like a wreck. Mentally, I was a mess. Physically, I was ready and primed to impress. Any time my mind wandered and I was more prone to thinking about him, I rehearsed my steps in my mind. I walked through the music and moves I’d need to complete.

“Ah,” I quipped as Emil escorted me to a car. This was the first time I’d been outside in almost two months, reduced to viewing the outside world only through windows. “Free at last.”

He rolled his eyes as he held the door to a car open for me. “You’re not going anywhere yet.”

That yet should’ve intimidated me. With how nervous I was about the audition, I couldn’t multitask and worry about my future with these Dubinin men.

“You know, I understand what you were saying the other day.” I tipped my chin up, studying this killer. That was how they all referred to him—the assassin. “When you mocked me for wanting to be a dancer and go through this audition at all.”

“I wasn’t mocking you,” he replied, proving that he would always want to argue with me. “I just don’t see the point.”

“And now I understand it. What is the point? Why should your father fuel my dreams, give me that studio and those lessons? Why would he go so far as to arrange this audition when I’m just a possession to keep behind locked doors and armed guards? What is the point?”

He furrowed his brow at me.

“It’s not like he’d allow me to go to school. It’s not like he’d grant me the freedom to travel on tours to perform for others. Right?” I shrugged. “In that regard, it is stupid of me to even try.”

He had no reply.

“I get it now,” I said again, hating this defeatist attitude before performing. There was no clarification about what my future could be like. The only constant was that Luka owned me.

“Don’t overthink it,” he advised wryly.

I sighed, glancing around at the evening sky, relishing the fresh air while it lasted.

“And don’t break a leg.”

I raised my brows. “That’s not how it goes. You’re supposed to tell me to break a leg.”

“You want your legs broken?”

“No.” I clamped my lips shut. I couldn’t expect a Mafia assassin like him to comprehend it. He broke bones for a living, probably torturing people before killing them.

“No. It’s a saying,” I explained. “For showbusiness in general. Telling someone to break a leg means wishing them good luck.”

“Oh. Fine. Good luck, then.”

I shook my head. “I don’t need luck.” So long as I kept his father out of my thoughts, I could—and should—rely on my skill. “Only hard work and determination.”

“Then…” He shrugged, gesturing for me to get in the car. “Have fun with that.”

I slid into the car, noticing the flutters of nerves in my stomach. This would be a chance to run, to escape, but I had no desire to do so. Why would I rush off when I was being driven to a private audition? I never could’ve counted on Luka Dubinin to get me closer to my dreams, but there it was.

Before the door was closed and the car sped off, he slid in after me. I hadn’t counted on him to show up like this. Much less get in the car with me.

“What are you doing?” I blinked, surprised that he’d be near me after the distance of his avoidance. Those flutters in my stomach intensified with that now-familiar excitement he made me feel. “Why— What’s going on?”

“I’m coming with you.” He arched one brow, not lightening up on his serious expression as he set his phone in a pocket inside his suit jacket.

“ You’re coming with me?”

He nodded once, peering at me like I had lost the plot. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

I narrowed my eyes. Talk about mixed messages. Wasn’t he the same guy who avoided me after eating me out? “Why would you?”

He rolled his eyes, gesturing at the driver to drive.

I sank against the cushion, watching this confounding man.

“What, do you not trust me to be out of your house? You’re thinking I’ll run away while I can?” That was my best guess for him to personally escort me to this audition.

He didn’t reply, simply staring me down.

“You don’t trust me outside the walls of your ‘fortress’?”

“I do.” He straightened his cuffs. “Or rather, I trust my men to supervise you outside my home.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes.

“Besides, if you run, I will find you and bring you back.”

I grimaced, so sick of this confusion he doled out on me.

“Why?” Before he could reply, I kept going, letting out this frustration he instigated in me.

“If I’m a possession, just a thing for you to own, why treat me like this?

Why would you tease me and lead me?” I swallowed hard, finally relieved to speak my mind after days of not seeing him. “Why would you… pleasure me like that?”

He shook his head, furrowing his brow like he was disappointed or annoyed with me. “Stop. Stop this. Focus on your audition. Not me.”

“But—”

He held his hand up. “This is time to concentrate. Don’t think about me or what is going on between us.”

I wanted to scream.

It wasn’t as though I wanted to be attracted to him.

It wasn’t a matter of choosing to think about him.

I just did.

He was always there, in my mind and my memories.

I was desperate to know if there even was anything going on between us.

“Don’t, Gabriella. Shut it down and focus .”

Blinking at him slowly, I let his harsh words sink in. He wasn’t dismissing me or trying to downplay his actions. He was lecturing, he was commanding. And he was right. This wasn’t the time to be stuck in my head. This was go-time. This was the moment to ride the determination to succeed.

And I would. I resolved to heed his advice. As I sobered up and nodded at him, I turned to gaze out the window instead of pushing this issue with him. Maybe he’d never answer me. Perhaps he intended to keep me confused and on the edge of this dance of desire for him.

Deep down, as the sleek black car brought me closer to the building where I’d perform in a private audition, I appreciated that Luka could be so tough like that. To be so strict and harsh and steer me back to where I needed to be.

I was grateful to have him tell me to focus on what I cared about.

My dad never did.

No one had ever supported me or given me a pep talk like that. It seemed cruelly ironic that the man who’d taken me would be the one to encourage me.

All these weeks I’d been stuck in his house, I wanted the freedom to dream and prioritize about what I wanted out of life. Secretly, though, I had to admit that I wanted him . More than I had any right to.