Page 43 of Captive Bride
a??I am well aware of how you feel about me, madam. If you hate me so, why do you wish to keep my son? Every time you look at him, you will see me.a??
a??He is also my son! I carried him for nine months. I suffered the pain of bringing him into this world. I will not give him up! He is a part of me, and I love him!a??
a??There is another matter that puzzles me. If you hate me so, why did you go to Victory to bear my son?a??
a??I didna??t know it was your home until after I arrived. I didna??t want to stay here, and so Johnsy, my old nanny, suggested I go to her sister, who happens to be your cook. I went to Victory. How was I to know it was your estate?a??
a??That must have been quite a surprise,a?? Philip sneered. a??Why didna??t you leave when you found out the truth?a??
a??Emma insisted I stay. Now I dona??t want to discuss it any longer,a?? she replied. a??You will have to leave now, Philip. Ita??s time for his feeding.a??
a??Then feed him. Ita??s rather late for false modesty on your part, Christina. Ia??m well acquainted with the body hidden underneath your dress.a??
a??You are impossible! You havena??t changed one damn bit.a??
a??Noa??but you have. You used to be more honest.a??
a??I dona??t know what youa??re talking about.a?? She walked toward her bedroom door. a??I suggest you have someone show you to your room. You may see your son latera??if you wish.a??
She sat down in a chair in the far corner of her room and rested Philip Junior on her lap while unbuttoning her bodice. But she still felt Philipa??s presence and looked up to see him leaning against the doorframe, watching her intently.
a??Please, Philip! You are welcome in the nursery, but this is my room. I would like some privacya??if you dona??t mind.a??
a??Do I embarrass you, Christina? You have never bared your breasts in front of a man before?a?? he taunted. a??I suggest you stop acting indignant, and feed my son. He is hungry, is he not?a??
a??Oh!a?? She decided to ignore him, and hoped he would leave. She pulled one side of her dress open and gave Philip Junior her breast. He sucked greedily, resting one tiny fist against her. She was fully aware that Philip still watched her.
a??Christina, what are you doina???a?? Johnsy shrieked, coming into the room from the other entrance and seeing Philip.
a??Ita??s all right, Johnsy. Calm yourself,a?? Christina said irritably. a??This is Philip Caxton.a??
a??So you be Philip Juniora??s father,a?? Johnsy snapped, turning to face Philip. a??Well, you a??ave your nerve comina?? a??ere after what you did to my baby.a??
a??Oh, hush, Johnsy! Youa??ve said enough already,a?? Christina bit off. Philip started laughing, and she cringed, knowing full well what he found so amusing. a??Ita??s a common name, damn it! I need not explain myself to you!a?? Philip Junior began crying again.
a??You get yourself out of a??ere, Mr. Caxton.
Youa??re disturbina?? Crissy ana?? your son,a?? Johnsy scolded.
She closed the door behind Philip, but Christina could still hear him laughing.
She quickly closed the other door, then looked at Christina, shaking her head.
a??So a??e did comea??I knew a??e would. Does Master John know?a??
a??Yes. John has decided to let Philip stay here.
And Tommy knows, too. Philip walked in just when I was agreeing to marry Tommy.
Oh, Johnsy, what am I going to do?a?? Christina started crying.
a??He came here for his sona??not me! Philip is so cold to me, and how can I bear seeing him and Estelle together? a??
a??It will be all right, Miss Crissya??youa??ll see. Now you stop your cryina??, or that little one will never settle down.a??
Christina closed the door to the nursery very quietly and turned to see Philip coming out of the next room. She had to walk toward him to get to the stairs, but he blocked her way.
a??Is Philip Junior asleep?a?? he asked teasingly.
a??Yes,a?? she replied, avoiding his eyes. a??Is your room satisfactory?a??
a??It will do,a?? he returned, and tilted her face up to his. a??But Ia??d prefer to share yours.a??
Philip pulled her against him, molding her body against his, and his lips covered hers, demanding a response. She gave it willingly. All the long, lonely months disappeared.
a??Ah, Tinaa??why didna??t you tell me you were carrying my child?a?? he murmured huskily.
a??I didna??t know I had conceived until I was three monthsa?? pregnant. And it was too late thena??you had already married Nura.a??
a??Nura!a?? he laughed, looking down into her soft blue eyes. a??Ia??a??
But then he stiffened. Soa??she had gone back to her brother because she wanted to. Philip thought she might already have known of her pregnancy, and been afraid he would be angry. When would he learn that the woman hated him!
a??Philip, whata??s the matter with you?a?? Christina asked, seeing the coldness in his eyes.
a??You had best go to your lover, madam. Ia??m sure you prefer his kisses to mine!a?? Philip said harshly, and pushed her away.
Christina watched him walk away and felt as if her knees would give way. What had she said to make him hurt her so cruelly? She had been deliriously happy only a moment before, and now she felt like dying.
a??Philip! Oh, I knew you would come!a??
Christina heard Estellea??s happy voice coming from the hall downstairs.
a??I was hoping youa??d still be here, my sweet. Youa??ll make my stay here much more pleasant,a?? Philipa??s deep voice answered cheerfully.
The tears came easily to Christinaa??s eyes as she walked slowly back to her room and closed the door behind her. She fell onto the bed and buried her face in the pillow.
She couldna??t bear to go downstairs and watch Philip flirting with Estelle. Why did he hate her so? Why couldna??t he still desire her? How could she bear seeing them together, when her own heart was breaking?