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Luca: So be honest—are you still mad at me?

Nova: Who said I was mad at you??

Luca: Oh, my bad. Are you still NOT mad at me?

Nova: **eye roll**

Luca: Soo…that’s not a no.

Nova: Why are you so annoying???

Luca: I was just asking a question. Why didn’t you want to stay and talk to me in the parking lot?

Nova: Because literally NO ONE wants to sit in a parking lot having a conversation. It’s creepy. Someone could have come along and murdered me.

Luca: Wow. You have no faith in me? You don’t think I would have PROTECTED you? I’m insulted.

Nova: I’m just saying…if someone did show up to murder me, I feel like you’d be the type to hesitate.

Luca: Hesitate?! WTF does that mean?

Nova: Like. I feel like you’d try to reason with them first instead of taking action.

Luca: What kind of person do you think I am??

Nova: A talker.

Luca: As if I would try to negotiate with a MURDERER??? Damn Nova, way to emasculate me. Jeez.

Luca: I hate this for me.

Nova: It’s not BAD necessarily. Some women might find it endearing.

Luca: Some women—but not you??

Nova: I did not say that.

Luca: Hypothetically, if I was the kind of guy to just act first, no questions asked—you would like that?

Nova: I didn’t say that either.

Luca: What ARE you saying?

Nova: I’m saying…I like to know a man is capable of handling himself if the situation calls for it!!! It’s that simple.

Luca: Oh, I can handle myself…

Nova: I do not doubt that.

Luca: But you don’t think I can stop a murderer from killing us both in the Rainforest Café parking lot?

Nova: LOL

Luca: When you laugh it makes me feel like you’re not taking my hypothetical survival skills seriously.

Nova: Poor thing.

Luca: I know. You should make it up to me.

Nova: Make what up to you?

Luca: The emotional damage.

Nova: Ugh. I hate that you use my own words against me.

Luca: It’s my favorite hobby.

Nova: You need better hobbies.

Luca: You volunteering to help me find new ones?

Nova: Absolutely not.

Luca: Damn. Walked right into that one.

Nova: You did. Proud of you for realizing it.

Luca: Wow. Patronizing and mean.

Nova: It’s a gift.

Luca: Is that why you peeled out of the parking lot so fast? Because you were afraid of what else I’d expose about you?

Nova: I left because the parking lot was creepy—but we totally could have gone somewhere else.

Luca: Oh? Like where?

Nova: I don’t know. Somewhere quieter.

Luca: Quieter? I like where this is going…

Nova: Don’t read into it.

Luca: Too late. What I’m hearing is you WANTED to keep the night going?

Nova: Maybe.

Luca: I KNEW IT.

Nova: Ugh. Don’t make it a thing.

Luca: LAUNCH SEQUENCE HAS BEEN ACTIVATED

Nova: You are so full of yourself.

Luca: I’m actually not. If you knew anything about me, you would know that. I don’t actually think I’m God’s gift to women or whatever you’ve decided about me in that pretty little head of yours. I feel like we’ve been over this.

Nova: Then who is the real you?

Luca: I’m devastatingly misunderstood. It’s tragic, really.

Nova: I’m being serious! Answer the question.

Luca: Fine. The real me… I don’t know who he is. He overthinks things. He’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He makes jokes first because that’s easier than being se rious.

Luca: And…

Nova: ??? yes…???

Luca: I don’t actually walk around thinking every girl in a ten-mile radius wants me. In fact, the one I do want is currently fighting me over text instead of just admitting she likes me back.

Nova: Whoa.

Nova: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I did not expect that level of honesty LOL

Luca: Alright my turn. What’s something you don’t let people see about you?

Nova: Umm…hmmm…

Luca: Take your time.

Nova: I’m thinking—give me a second LOL

Nova: Well. Honestly, one thing people don’t see if that I wish my parents were still alive. And I hate relying on Gio so much—he’s my brother, not my father, but I find myself leaning on him. It’s embarrassing sometimes.

Nova: Was that real enough for you?

Luca: For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s embarrassing.

Nova: It feels embarrassing—and I can’t believe I admitted that in writing.

Luca: Why?

Nova: Because I should have my life figured out by now. I should be able to stand on my own without my brother’s help.

Luca: Says who?

Nova: Says society!

Luca: You’re human, Nova. You lost your parents. It’s okay to need people.

Nova: Even if I don’t want to?

Luca: Especially if you don’t want to.

Nova: That makes no sense.

Luca: Sure it does. The people who act like they don’t need anyone are usually the ones who need someone the most.

Nova: So I’m a walking cliché? Barf.

Luca: That is NOT what I said. Needing people doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you don’t have your life together. It just means you’re not meant to do everything alone.

Nova: This is kind of heavy considering we were just eating dinosaur shaped nuggets.

Luca: Shit. Do you know what I just realized?

Nova: What?

Luca: WE FORGOT OUR CUP!!!!!!

Nova: NOooooo we paid for that cup!

Luca: I know. Shit. I should call and see if they can put it aside.

Nova: You are not driving back there for a cheap, plastic cup!

Luca: THE HELL I’M NOT! I want that thing—it was $15 bucks!

Nova: Oh my God.

Luca: It’s an investment piece. Practically a Babineaux family heirloom. Future generations will WEEP knowing we let it go so easily.

Nova: You need HELP.

Luca: What I need is our cup back.

Nova: You do realize we drank, like, one mediocre beverage out of it, right?

Luca: And it tasted BETTER because it came from a badass giraffe head.

Luca: You’re just mad because you want the cup, too.

Nova: I DO NOT.

Luca: Denial is the first stage of grief.

Nova: Are we going to share custody of this thing, or no?

Luca: I don’t know. You would have to see me again in order to do that.

Nova: Sounds like blackmail.

Luca: Admit it. You want to see me again.

Nova: I want my half of the cup.

Luca: Oh, YOUR half? Interesting.

Nova: If we’re sharing custody, I deserve equal rights.

Luca: Fine. But that means scheduled visitation.

Nova: How exactly would that work?

Luca: Weekly meetings. Probably over dinner.

Nova: Now this includes dinner? FREE dinner?

Luca: Listen—if we’re co-parenting this cup, we need to discuss logistics.

Nova: Hmmm.

Luca: Don’t act like you’re not considering it.

Nova: I could be persuaded.

Luca: Our child deserves stability, Nova.

Nova: Except when you left it behind at the restaurant.

Luca: That was a MISTAKE!

Nova: A huge mistake. A RECKLESS mistake. Maybe I should get full custody.

Luca: Whoa. Now you’re just being cruel.

Nova: Actions have consequences, Luca.

Luca: This is why we need weekly check-ins. To establish trust.

Nova: LOL you’re cracking me up…

Luca: So, when is our first custody exchange?

Nova: Well, I do like free dinner.

Luca: And I do like spending time with you.

Nova: Cute.

Luca: I try. What’s your availability?

Nova: I could do Friday.

Luca: Friday it is. Our child deserves only the finest care.

Nova: Done.

Luca: Amazing. I’ll bring the custody paperwork.

Nova: Please make it official-looking. I want bullet points and a contract.

Luca: Say less. I’ll draft up an ironclad agreement.

Nova: Can’t wait.

Luca: Oh, so you’re excitedddd.

Nova: On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m at a 5.

Luca: You are such a liar, Montagalo.

Nova: Can I ask you something?

Luca: Sure.

Nova: Why do you keep calling me by my last name?

Luca: You friend-zoned me so I wanted to make sure I kept you there. Ha ha.

Nova: Wow.

Luca: Am I wrong? I’m reinforcing the strictly platonic boundaries you set.

Luca: But if you hate it, I’ll stop.

Nova: I don’t hate it—but I also don’t love it.

Luca: What if we gave each other nicknames instead?

Nova: That depends.

Luca: On?

Nova: Whether or not your nickname for me is stupid.

Luca: LOL. I was going to be thoughtful about it and make it cute. Or sexy.

Nova: Like what?

Luca: Something just for me to call you. I’m thinking.

Nova: I’m listening…

Luca: Okay, hear me out. Drumroll please…

Luca: Starshine.

Nova: Starshine??

Luca: You know, because Nova. Supernova. Space. Stars.

Nova: Awww. That’s actually kind of cute.

Luca: Only KIND of?? It’s fucking perfect!

Nova: It’s pretty great…

Luca: Great. What’s my nickname going to be?

Nova: Hmmm. You have main-character energy…

Luca: Obviously.

Nova: So cocky.

Luca: Also: accurate.

Nova: What about Romeo?

Luca: Eh. I don’t love it. It doesn’t feel like me.

Luca: NEXT!

Nova: Picky much?!!

Luca: It’s my nickname. It has to fit.

Nova: Alright, alright. Let me think…

Luca: Take your time. This is important.

Nova: What about… Maverick?

Luca: Maverick? No.

Nova: You give off Top Gun energy.

Luca: I will take that as a compliment.

Nova: It was meant to be one.

Luca: Still…Eh. Not me.

Nova: Ugh!

Nova: FOCUS. Nickname.

Luca: Right, right. Hit me with another one.

Nova: Alright, fine. What about Ace?

Luca: Ooooh. That’s got a nice ring to it. I like it!

Nova: Right? It gives confident, smooth, maybe a little reckless.

Luca: Just a little?

Nova: Don’t get a big head.

Luca: LOL Ace it is.

Nova: Finally.

Luca: So let’s review: You’re Starshine. I’m Ace.

Luca: Also! Bonus—it’s a solid cover if we ever need to talk in front of Gio.

Nova: Code names? Me like.

Luca: Exactly. He hears me say “Starshine,” he’s just gonna think I’m dating some girl who’s obsessed with astrology.

Nova: NOT that we’re hiding anything from my brother. There is nothing between us.

Luca: Except our love child.

Nova: Our WHAT?

Luca: The cup, Nova. Try to keep up.

Nova: Oh my GOD. Do not call it that.

Luca: We’re bonded for life now…

Nova: We are not bonded for life you weirdo.

Luca: Shared custody says otherwise. Do you want to see the cup again or NOT?

Nova: Yes. I love my giraffe cup.

Luca: OUR giraffe cup.

Nova: I’m gonna need you to shut up.

Luca: Make me.

Nova: Goodbye, Ace.

Luca: Goodnight, Starshine. See you on Friday.