34

nova

I don’t look at him—not yet. I can’t. If I do, I’ll start bawling like a baby. Once that train leaves the station, it’ll flatten everything in its path.

Luca’s footsteps are gone.

My apartment, once warm and loud with his presence, feels like a vacuum now. Like the oxygen has left the building with him.

I stare at the flowers on the counter, not seeing them. I should put them in water. I should do a lot of things.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Gio is calm. No more shouting. “I want to hear it from you.”

He wants the version from my mouth, in my words, so I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t know what I’m doing.

So I turn.

I face him.

And I say the words that make it real.

“I’ve been seeing Luca.”

He nods once, slow and quiet. “How long?”

“A while.”

My brother hums inside his throat, bracing his hands on the kitchen counter. “Why were you afraid to tell me? ”

I exhale slowly, twisting my fingers in the hem of my sweatshirt.

“Because I didn’t want to lose you.”

His entire face drops into a frown. “You thought that would happen?”

I shrug, even though everything inside me is shaking. “You warned me not to date anyone on the team. You warned your team to leave me alone. Luca…” I pause. “Didn’t want to lie. I asked him to wait. I was scared of this .”

Gio studies me. Like he’s trying to see past the words to the part of me that’s been quietly unraveling behind closed doors. Like he’s trying to understand me the way I understand him.

“I didn’t say all that to control you,” he says finally. “I said it because I’ve seen what this league can do to people. The idea of you getting caught in that crossfire…” His voice goes quiet. “We’ve already lost so much, Nova, but it was selfish of me to tell you how to live your life and who to fall in love with.”

The air catches in my throat.

Fall in love with.

I don’t correct him because it is how I feel.

I nod. “You were trying to protect me—I get that.”

He crosses his arms, leaning against the counter. “Can I ask you a very personal question?”

I do not want to agree.

“Why don’t you think you deserve to love someone out loud?” he asks gently, lips downturned at the corners. “You think I don’t notice how small you make yourself when you care about someone. Like you have to build them up, put them on a pedestal instead of choosing yourself?”

My bottom lip quivers.

“Do I do that?” Make myself small?

“Yeah. You do.” My brother nods. “You think I didn’t want to keep things quiet with Austin at first? I did. Because of the same fear. The pressure. The bullshit that comes with people watching. But eventually, I had to ask myself—why not me? Why don’t I deserve to shout about it like everyone else?”

His keen eyes are locked on mine. “So why not you, Nova? Why don’t you deserve that?”

I’ve asked myself the same thing a million times. Some nights when I’m lying awake I wonder what it would be like to hold Luca’s hand in public. To kiss him like we had nothing to hide. To exist together without looking over our shoulders for cameras or my brother.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I guess I thought if I kept it small, it would hurt less when it ended.”

Gio tilts his head. “Does it feel small?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Good.” My brother looks satisfied. “Mission accomplished.”

I lift my gaze to stare at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs. “It means—that was a set up and you passed.”

“Excuse me?”

He grins. “What? You think I’d go full nuclear on Luca for no reason? I’m not psychotic and I don’t have a death wish—dude could kick my ass if he really wanted to.”

My eyes get as wide as they’ve ever gotten. “Wait. You planned that?” Is this some kind of fucking joke?

“Look,” he says, walking toward me for a hug. “I’ve been overreacting for years. You were never the problem, Nova. The problem was I didn’t want to see someone I care about get hurt. And I was trying to be your big brother instead of letting you do what’s best for you.”

I nod against his chest as he wraps his big, bear arms around me. “So what do I do now?”

I feel him smile into the top of my head. “You make it up to him.”

“How?” My voice is muffled against his sweatshirt.

“Go big or go home.” He laughs. “You’re going to have to figure out real quick how to shout it from the rooftops. ”

I pull back enough to look up at him. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means,” he says. “ You show up where he is. Where people can see you. Where he can see you. And you stop pretending this is a secret you have to protect. Put it out there.”

Panic rises in my throat. “Gio…”

He holds up a hand. “Nope. No more excuses. You want to love him? Then do it. All in, all the way. Out loud. In front of his teammates. In front of God.”

I bite the inside of my cheek.

He’s right— and I’m out of excuses .