Page 18 of Call It Love (Sterling Mill #5)

Chase

Dark blue eyes stared back at me, but she didn’t pull away. But something changed. Her gaze flicked to the side, her posture still as if she was bracing for something. She might not have physically moved, but she was pulling away from me.

“Anna,” I said, willing her to look back at me, to pull her back, but she only grew more rigid.

“Anna, that wasn’t a mistake,” I said, stepping back into her space. “I’m not sorry for it.”

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I didn’t say it was.”

“But you’re thinking it.”

She didn’t deny it, just took a step backward and crossed her arms across her chest.

“Don’t shut me out, Anna,” I pushed, gently but firmly. “Not this time. After everything we’ve been through, don’t do that to me again. I can handle whatever you have to say, whatever’s in your heart or your head. But not your silence. Not you pulling away.”

She turned her back and took a few steps toward the kitchen. I ran a hand through my hair, bracing to hear the door slam. Instead, she paused. Her shoulders rose as she drew a shaky breath, then she turned back around, tears gathering at the corner of her blue eyes.

“Chase…” Her voice was quiet but steady. “Obviously, we were close once before. Really close. But we don’t really know each other anymore. Or at least, you don’t know me. And don’t pretend my choices all those years ago didn’t hurt you. You have every right to resent me.”

“Whatever happened in the past,” I said carefully, “belongs in the past. We might have thought we were adults, doing grown-up things, but we were still kids trying to figure out who we were and what we wanted out of life.”

Anna’s shoulders relaxed slightly as she gave a quick nod.

“I might not have understood it at the time,” I admitted. “And you’re right. It hurt like hell. It hurt every time I saw you with him .”

She looked down, biting her lip and blinking rapidly.

“But do you know why it still hurt all those years later?”

Her breath caught as her eyes met mine. Her lashes were still spiked with tears, but there was something different. Hope, maybe?

I decided to put it all on the line. I took her hands in mine, lacing our fingers together.

“Because I never stopped caring about you. I’m not one to usually believe in fate, but you showing up here in the middle of a storm?

” I shook my head, smiling softly. “Hell, if I can’t help but wonder if that doesn’t mean something. ”

She stilled as if she wasn’t sure she was hearing me right.

“If you need me to say I forgive you, then done. I forgive you for any hurt you think you caused. As long as you forgive me, too.”

Her brow furrowed. “What on earth would I have to forgive you for?”

So I gave her the truth that had haunted me for all these years. “That I didn’t fight for you when I should have.”

A soft gasp escaped her lips. “Chase, I…”

“For letting you believe I didn’t care.”

Silence filled the space between us, but it wasn’t full of uncertainty; it was light with possibility. I could tell she was processing everything, that I was starting to reach her. Maybe I could prove to her that she was never far from my thoughts.

“Will you come somewhere with me?” I asked.

Silently, she gave a slight nod.

I kept her hand tucked in mine as I led her to my truck. I settled her inside, then jumped into the driver’s seat. The engine rumbled as I turned onto the main road and headed up the mountain on the same path I took just a few days ago.

“Where are we going?” she asked, her voice soft but curious.

I glanced over at her and winked. “You’ll see.”

I drove up the mountain until I turned down the gravel road, back to the clearing with fewer trees, and killed the engine. The quiet settled over us like a comfortable blanket.

“Where are we?”

I stared through the windshield, breathing in the pine scent. I’d never brought her here when we were young. At the time, it hadn’t seemed like anything special.

I stared over the steering wheel, the peace filling my head and heart.

“It’s our Christmas tree plot. Uncle James started it when I was a kid.

It was the first paying job I ever had.” I chuckled.

“All I had to do was put a tiny tree—really more like a stick with pine needles—in the ground and push the soil back in the hole.”

Her eyes grew soft as she looked at the rows and rows of trees.

“Back then, it was just another part of the farm. But after you left, it became something else.”

I hopped out of the truck, walked around to her side, and opened her door. I held out my hand.

She didn’t say a word as she placed hers in mine and let me lead her down a path. The trees grew larger and larger as we walked.

Finally, we reached one near the center. It stood tall and proud, nearly fifteen feet. It looked like something out of a painting, all perfectly shaped, with full branches and perfect symmetry.

Anna stopped and stared up at it, her lips parting slightly. “Wow, it’s beautiful, Chase. It’s so tall. It would take a mansion to fit it.”

“Exactly,” I said proudly. “She definitely deserves a place of honor. And that’s exactly what I’m hoping for. I’ve nominated her to be chosen for the Governor’s mansion.”

“Well, they’d be a fool not to pick it,” she said, glancing at me with a shy smile.

I smiled in return, but then my expression sobered. “But that’s not the reason I’m showing you. This tree…it’s special for another reason.”

She tilted her head, curiosity reflecting in her eyes.

“My family has what you’d call a tradition, I guess,” I answered.

“We set aside this section of the lot just for family trees, ones we plant and tend to ourselves. That way, it’s personal when it’s cut down and brought inside.

It’s where all the Dawsons and Allens, and I guess now the Braxtons and Caldwells, since Bristol and Cam are married, come to get our trees.

They all hold a memory, some small, some more special, like the first as a couple or the first a new child helps with. ”

“What a lovely tradition!”

“We even name the trees. Last year was Lexi’s first time planting a tree. She named it Eliza after her former etiquette teacher.”

Anna’s eyes widened. “You mean Eliza Pettigrew? She was so…formal.”

I laughed, knowing that wasn’t the word most of us would have chosen. “That’s the one. Lexi said there was no way a tree named after her would dare not grow straight and tall.”

She laughed as well. “That’s funny. What are some of the other names?”

“Well, Cam called one of hers Firgie ,” I answered, making her giggle when I spelled it for her. “Em named one Needlejuice, and someone else called one Griswold . My grandfather gave them the names of competitors. He said it gave him extra satisfaction when he cut them down.”

“They’re all such clever names. And what about you? What did you name yours?” Anna asked.

I looked at her for a beat, then back at the tree. Truth time. “Different names over the years. This one is mine. It has a special name.”

“What is it?”

“I call her Blossom .”

She froze, her fingers slowly rising to cover her mouth. “Chase…why?”

I looked up at the tree as I answered. “I planted her the year I met you. I wanted to keep it a secret because I thought you’d think it was silly.

But after high school, it became more. Because even when you weren’t here, I couldn’t let you go.

Especially when I saw how unhappy you looked with your…

husband. ” I nearly choked on the word. “It was something I could control. Something I could protect and care for when I could no longer take care of the real thing.”

I finally returned my attention to her. “And I know that sounds completely crazy and possibly unhinged,” I admitted with a small shrug, “but it helped keep me grounded. It was a way to keep you here. And someday, I hoped it would make you proud.”

“I…I don’t know what to say,” she said, her fingers reaching out almost reverently to slide along one of the lower branches. “I had no idea you felt that way.”

“I didn’t want you to know.”

“All these years,” she whispered. “I thought I was the only one holding onto the memory.”

“You weren’t.”

“I used to lie awake at night, especially after the trips we’d make back here, and wonder if you hated me. I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“I never hated you, Anna. It would have been easier if I could.” My voice was rough. “I was hurt. Angry. But mostly, I missed you. I have for years. Every time I saw you.”

“I…” Her voice faltered. “I figured you’d moved on.”

“I tried,” I admitted. “But now that you’re back, I know the reason why it was so hard. It’s always been you, Anna. And we’re not kids anymore. We know what’s real. And we know how to reach for it.”

She drew a shaky breath. “I’m not that same girl anymore.”

I stepped closer and reached for her hand again. “I’m not looking for her. I like the woman standing in front of me. The survivor. The one who found her way back here, even if it took a damn storm to blow you in.” I gave her a crooked smile, trying to lighten the moment.

Her lips twitched, but the look in her eyes was still raw.

My chest ached with the words I wanted to say. I was surprised she couldn’t hear my heart pounding in the quiet air. “Tell me you feel something. And if you don’t, then I’ll walk away. But I need to know.”

Her eyes searched mine for long seconds as I held my breath.

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

“I know.” I leaned my forehead against hers, and we stood like that for several minutes, breathing in the same air, our heartbeats finding a rhythm together.

I didn’t rush her; at least she wasn’t pulling away.

“I knew I made a mistake the second I broke up with you,” she said in a small voice. “But Chase, I honestly thought I’d hold you back, and I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”

“Why would you think that? It was always you.”

She shook her head. “Too many things were happening. You were going off to college, something I couldn’t even consider between the expense and my dad’s crazy thoughts.

But my mom was also constantly telling me how hard it is to spend your entire life trying to make a living, or even surviving, off the land.

She said she wanted something different for me.

Urged me to get out while I could.” She hesitated, and her voice lowered.

“And then there was Mason. He was always so jealous of you, you know?”

That baffled me. “But he didn’t even live here except for a few weeks in the summer.”

“But he saw what you had, how much your family was respected in the community. How much everyone loved your family. No one has ever had a lot of good to say about his family, not around here anyway. He saw his opportunity to take something from you and swept right in. I guess I was feeling vulnerable, and I bought into all his lies that he’d take me away and show me the world.

I thought getting away would make it easier to get over my feelings for you. ”

She let out a shaky breath. “Of course, it was too good to be true. But that was me. Na?ve, stupid Anna.”

“Stop that,” I said firmly. I reached for her face and lifted her chin until she had no choice but to look at me.

“Don’t ever call yourself stupid. You trusted someone who abused that.

That’s on him, not you. You were young. Confused.

Torn between people trying to convince you what your life should be. He saw that and used it.”

She rested her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, enjoying the way her body molded into mine.

“I don’t know what happens next,” she said.

I kissed the top of her head. “We’ll figure it out together.”

She stayed in my arms, in front of the tree I’d named after her, and I held her like I’d waited forever to do. I never wanted to let go.

For the first time, I believe that maybe this time I wouldn’t have to.