Page 5 of Buon Natale, My Wicked Rogue (Wicked Widows’ League #18)

“I take it you didn’t find Lord Addington all that appealing?” Lady Wyndam said.

Angela paused with her teacup at her lips, staring out the window of the Whitestone dowager house morning room at the sunrise. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Best to be noncommittal.

“You didn’t dance with him.” Lady Wyndam chuckled. “He looked quite put out. Evan is not used to such treatment. I daresay you didn’t even give him so much as a smile.”

At having her rudeness of the previous evening mentioned, Angela suppressed a cringe. Again, she carefully considered her response. “To be honest, I wasn’t quite myself last night. The evening’s events left me fatigued. I’ve never been so grateful to find myself in bed as I was last night.”

She had spent the night here as Lady Wyndam’s guest. Lady Wyndam had sent a note to Susan’s parents, telling them about how her driver had warned the ruffians off and how Angela would spend the night recovering from the shock of the unexpected attack.

All she wanted right now was to sit back and enjoy the warm, fragrant tea and the beauty of the sunrise.

However, Lady Wyndam appeared so concerned, so friendly this morning, that she felt compelled to put her at ease.

Pausing for one last drink, she then sat the teacup down.

“Perhaps I do not have as much taste for adventure as I had thought.”

Lady Wyndam’s brows drew together ever-so-slightly, and she nodded. “I understand. You have lived a circumspect life as a married woman in Boston?”

“Yes. I was most circumspect.” For all the good it had done her. Jacob had still found reasons to belittle and bedevil her.

“Married women in New England don’t have the same liberties as they do here, I am told.”

“You are correct. It is a delicate thing, to be sure. So many rules are unspoken. It depends on who one is and who one is with as far as which rules must be followed and which can be bent.”

Lady Wyndam sighed. “The same as here in England.”

“Being a foreign-born wife without the correct bloodlines surely made a difference. I felt I had to follow all the rules, spoken and unspoken, all the time.”

“That’s a shame. It must have been hard for you to feel that you had to be perfect all the time.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Is it true that unmarried young ladies have more freedom in New England?”

Angela nodded. “Though they are expected to be chaste, except perhaps with their intended husbands, unmarried women have more freedom in New England than here in England.”

“Is what they say about New Englanders and courting true?”

“What, Your Grace?”

“Is it true about bundling?” Lady Wyndam’s brown eyes twinkled merrily but with a definite naughty glint.

Disarmed by the older woman’s candor and charm, she laughed. “Well, they don’t speak of it openly, but there are whispers that more than one venerable couple had shared a midnight kiss or two over a bundling board.”

They shared a laugh. It felt good to share confidences like this and to share a naughty laugh. She felt more like a girl than when she had truly been a girl.

“And you and your husband?”

Strangely, she didn’t feel that instant choking sensation when hearing his name mentioned.

Nor did she feel offense at the extremely personal question.

But she blushed. “Oh, we didn’t need a bundling board.

” She paused to suppress an uncharacteristic giggle.

“We didn’t have a long engagement. We were so eager for each other that he begged me to run away with him.

I did, and we were married by the captain of his father’s ship. ”

“But that eagerness faded?”

“Yes,” she admitted simply, a sinking, empty feeling entering her stomach. “In New England, gentlemen have their business social obligations, an endless round of all male dinner parties and such. But once married, a woman is expected to confine her interests mostly to her husband and children.”

“And your marriage was not blessed with children?”

“No, it was not.” Jacob’s visits to her bedchamber had dwindled slowly until he never came there at all. What had she done wrong? She could never discern the actual issue. She knew that part of it was not being what he had expected of her. However, she wasn’t sure what he had really expected.

“That must have been hard,” Lady Wyndam said. “Not being accepted by the ladies in your social circle and not having children to care for.”

“It was. I often felt so useless, so unwanted. If not for my husband’s father, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“He accepted you?”

“Yes, he did. He alone was delighted with Jacob’s choice of me.

The senior Mr. Berry, or Papa as I came to call him, said that I had the intelligence of a man and the intuition and understanding of a woman.

” She blushed. “I suppose that sounds a little like a criticism of women rather than a compliment, but he was, after all, a man. This is how they think of women. Believe me, I know how fortunate I am that my father allowed me the funds for an excellent education, and I wish all girls could have that advantage.”

“Yes indeed, you’ve been most fortunate in your education, and it put you at an advantage with your father-in-law.”

Angela nodded. “When Jacob grew bored with me and basically put me aside, his father took me in and trained me to handle the account books and manage the warehouses.

Jacob had never shown a lasting interest in managing the family business.

He just refused to settle down and take his role in the business seriously.

“His father said that he could rest in peace when he went home to the Lord because he knew I would be there to watch over the business.” She grew sad.

“After a prolonged illness, he passed away last year, and since then, his brother has taken over the business. Jacob died in an accident while illness incapacitated his father. I don’t think Papa Berry ever thought that his son would die before he did.

And he was always certain that Jacob would sire an heir by me. Papa Berry was ever an optimist.”

Lady Wyndam leaned forward, her eyes lighting merrily. “So, for the first time in your life as a woman, you are free of responsibility? You are free of ties.”

“Yes,” Angela said sadly.

“Yet, instead of feeling relieved, you feel useless, as though your vitality is gone, though you are still a young woman?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“But, Mrs. Berry, you are also free to indulge your whims. You are free to enjoy whatever adventure and entertainment you may find.” Lady Wyndam’s brown eyes shone so compassionately. “But you are afraid to reach out for fear of some consequences.”

“Perhaps you are correct.” She thought of the excitement that had surged through her veins when she and Susan had embarked on their plan to sneak into the masquerade. She had allowed the attack to make a coward of her.

“The Earl of Ashington was certainly taken with you.”

Such a handsome gentleman, never mind his cockiness.

She would dance with him now if given a second chance.

What a pity the masquerade was over. What a shame that she’d allowed such a chance for romance, passion and adventure to slide past her.

She would be headed home soon. Lady Wyndam said that Susan had already gone home the night before.

Regret put heaviness into her chest, and she let her shoulders sag a bit. She wasn’t as brave as she had imagined.

“You are an evasive one, to be sure.” Lady Wyndam’s eyes narrowed as she studied her with such exaggerated obviousness that Angela felt her cheeks heat.

“Ah ha! I knew you were still thinking of Evan.” Lady Wyndam’s brown eyes twinkled again. Her grin eased Angela’s sore heart, and she felt an answering lift tugging at the corners of her own mouth.

“He is an extraordinarily handsome gentleman.” She fanned her face with her hand to cool her increasingly hot cheeks. “I’ll grant you that.”

“Then what is the problem?”

Angela scoffed. “Oh, he’s too sure of himself by far.”

“And you’re just the one to put him in his place. It will be good for him. He’s had life too soft for too long. Every man needs some challenge.”

“Goodness.” She didn’t know what else to say.

“Don’t you want to go and prepare yourself?” Lady Wyndam said.

“Prepare myself for what?”

“Don’t you remember? He asked to come and visit today.”

Gooseflesh spread up her neck and over her scalp, a pleasurable shiver.

Well, he is an extraordinarily handsome gentleman.

And perhaps he did need someone to challenge his cockiness.

She had longed for adventure. And if she were honest, yes, that included carnal adventure. But wasn’t that what she had expected to find with Jacob?

“Goodness, Mrs. Berry, you’ve gone quite pale.” Lady Wyndam’s brows drew together. “What are you thinking about so deeply?” “Jacob.” What else was there to say?

“Tell me more about Jacob. Were you in love with him?”

“Yes.” In the days before her marriage to Jacob, she had been afire for his every glance and touch. Her beautiful golden Adonis. Hardly able to wait for their wedding night, she had eaten little and been atremble with longing and anticipation.

Then, the disappointment.

And later, the betrayals.

Her heartbeat sped, and her mouth went dry. Perhaps she had a second chance now to find out what she’d missed.

“Were you married young?”

“Eighteen.”

“Was he the same age or older?”

“He was one year older than I.”

“Nineteen in years. Old enough to woo a girl and to become a husband. But perhaps he was much younger in his behavior and bearing?” Angela nodded. Lady Wyndam had a way of narrowing in on the important aspect.

“It’s such a shame that things must so often be that way.” Lady Wyndam’s regretful tone so matched her own that Angela was forced to smile.

She lifted one shoulder and waved her hand dismissively. “Perhaps it is always the way.”

“Lord Ashington is a man who is fully grown in both his body and his behavior. However, I will not lie to you. He has lived the typical life of an unmarried nobleman and shows no signs of settling down. Yet, this life has given him a great deal of experience in how to entertain a woman, both in and out of bed.”

Her cheeks flamed again, even as heat curled low in her belly.

This conversation was utterly shocking. Yet wasn’t a lover what she’d hoped to find at the masquerade?

An experienced man who could show her the delights of love.

And maybe she’d wanted that man to be a nobleman for reasons that she wasn’t ready to examine too closely just yet.

But wait for one moment. Just how did Lady Wyndam know all this about Lord Ashington? Through her lashes, she took a quick, secretive glance at the older woman.

“Please do not be embarrassed, Mrs. Berry.” Lady Wyndam seemed to refer to her blush and apparently had not caught her inquisitive glance.

“You are not the first lady I have introduced to Lord Ashington with the intention of aiding her in finding some adventure. And I can tell you I always get a most favorable report after their affair is over. I received many lovely gifts of flowers and pineapples and sometimes even a pretty trinket in thanks for my efforts on their behalf. We widows must look out for each other.”

Oh Mamma Mia! Had she ever dreamed of such a conversation?

Dreamed of such a woman? Yet, she was grinning widely now.

And giggling and pressing her hand over her mouth. Soon, her whole body shook with her sense of mischievous fun. Truth? She loved this chat and this woman’s company.

How could she not? The lady was absolutely scandalous and so unabashedly naughty.

Absolutely wonderful, as well. And exactly what she needed. She should accept this lady’s counsel. However, if she allowed the practical, prudent part of her to rule, she’d miss out again.

From what Lady Wyndam said, she’d likely miss much more than before.

“I am glad to see you laughing and feeling better. You seemed so strained last night, and I don’t think all of that was due to the near attack,” Lady Wyndam said. “It is not easy being a widow, especially a young widow.”

With effort, Angela swallowed back her laughter and attempted to calm herself. “You are correct about that.”

She had felt so lost for so many months. It felt so good to talk honestly with someone who understood. Even Susan hadn’t been so empathetic.

“Often, there is nowhere that a widow can turn for understanding and help. That’s why, together with my widowed friends, we created the Widows’ League.”

“A league for widows in need. That’s a wonderful idea.”

“Well, it is not just for those who need aid in troubled times. It is also for those seeking to find their own liberty and to empower those seeking new connections and experiences.”

Angela’s smile broadened. “Those seeking adventure.”

Lady Wyndam gave her a conspiratorial smile. “Yes, precisely. That’s why the league is often called ‘The Wicked Widows’ League’ among the members.”

“How deliciously wicked,” Angela said.

“Perhaps if you decide to remain in England, you would like to join our league? This is an enjoyable time of year to learn more about us. We have a Christmas ball, but it takes place before Christmas. The party is on the twelfth of December. That way, we can celebrate together, and then later, everyone can celebrate with their families.” Lady Wyndam cocked her head and made a little pouty gesture with her mouth. “Or with a lover.”

“I see,” Angela said.

“So, it is a yes?”

“Yes, to what?”

“To a Christmastide affair with the Earl of Ashington.”