Page 18 of Buon Natale, My Wicked Rogue (Wicked Widows’ League #18)

Angela was so glad to see Susan that she had run to greet her and hugged her.

But her friend had accepted this expression of affection with a guarded manner.

Now she sat with her head down, studying her folded hands in her lap.

The steaming cup of tea she’d accepted remained undrunk on the tea table.

“I am so sorry that you missed the ceremony. It was so beautiful. It was something I will never forget. Lady Wyndam made everything so wonderfully perfect for us. She is an amazing woman.”

“I almost didn’t come here at all.” Susan kept her eyes downcast, hanging her head.

“What’s wrong?” Angela asked, making her voice softer. She reached across the tea tray and touched Susan’s arm lightly.

“Oh, don’t be kind to me!” Susan cried as she spun away from her. “You don’t know what I have done.”

Angela shivered with the sudden chill that overtook her. “What are you saying?”

“The way you met your husband. The deception.” Susan made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh. She looked up, her eyes wide and wild. “It was all deception!”

“Deception?”

“Don’t you see? I helped him deceive you.”

“I don’t understand.” She didn’t want to understand.

“He came to me at my parents’ house. It was during one of your long walks.

” Susan had always thought Angela’s desire to be alone and explore the countryside strange and had never tried to hide her feelings.

But now there was almost a note of blame towards Angela.

“You weren’t there, and he knew so much about you.

He told me that you might be a spy! A spy, Angela! ”

Again, there was a note of blame, as though Angela was responsible for the suspicion against her.

“He knew so much. He knew how Jacob had died. He asked me to help him. He said I would be a great heroine to Britain, me a commoner. He said I would protect British industry against Americans who wanted to use our vast experience as a shortcut to industrial greatness. He said that─”

Angela held her hand up. “Enough.” Dizziness made her sway, and she grasped the edge of her chair arm. “Enough.”

Bile rose in her throat, hot and bitter. She clapped her hand to her mouth and attempted to swallow the bitterness back down, but she gagged and coughed.

Susan leaped to her feet and rushed to her side, offering her the tea. “Take a drink, Angela.”

Angela opened her eyes and looked up at her former friend incredulously. “This must be a lie.” She croaked the words past her burning throat. “Please say you are lying.”

Susan sat the teacup down and shook her head. “I am not lying.”

Angela stared at her, still only half comprehending. “But why would you tell me such a lie? Do you want to hurt me that badly? But why?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. But you don’t understand. My late husband’s family won’t let me see my little boy.”

“You gave him up. You said he was an impossible child. You said he was better off with your father-in-law, a stern but fair man who could give your son the strong discipline that you thought he needed.”

Susan made a wry expression. “And you believed that?”

“I used to believe whatever you told me. You were my friend, and I believed you.”

Susan winced. “So, you did. And you remember that I told you that you are too gullible. Do you think me so unfeeling that I didn’t want my child with me?”

Again, Susan seemed to think it was Angela’s fault that she had trusted her.

“I didn’t know your husband, Ashington, was an earl. He just told me that he worked for the Home Office.”

“I see, but what did that have to do with your son?”

Susan looked sad. “Your arrogance is unbelievable. You don’t even know my son’s name.”

“You never told me his name.” Angela was stung by Susan’s words.

“What kind of friend were you that you never asked about my son’s name?”

“I didn’t wish to pry. If you didn’t wish to delve into the details, I didn’t want to linger over an issue that I knew must have been very painful for you.

If you remember, neither of us did that with the other.

That’s what made us such great companions.

We knew that each of us had suffered a difficult past, and we wanted only to provide each other with harmless distractions and fun. ”

Susan scowled. “You’re lying. You didn’t think well of me. You thought I was a cold, heartless mother.”

“I did not think that. Not at all. I thought you were a loving, brave mother to have made such a painful decision for a better life for your child.”

“What do you know of being a mother, loving or not? Your mother was a vain, selfish shrew, and you... For all your grand marriage to your high-and-mighty earl, you’re barren.” Susan’s voice grew shrill on the last, and then her laughter echoed in the room.

Angela flinched at the pain this woman’s inexplicable cruelty had provoked in her. “Susan, what’s the matter with you? Are you ill or in pain? Why would you say these things in such a carelessly vicious way?”

“You’ve certainly found a better life for yourself, Lady Ashington. You’re a countess now with a powerful husband. And I threw you into his path!”

More laughter from Susan, not a joyful sound, but a tragic, near hysterical one.

Angela’s stomach lurched. “I don’t know what to think. Now wait, you’re jealous of my marriage. So, that’s why you’ve told me this terrible lie about Evan?”

“Oh, it’s true. He told me he would help me find and pay for a lawyer to fight my in-laws for custody of Jimmy.”

Angela frowned. “Your father-in-law forcibly took your son, Jimmy, away from you?”

“Yes, that’s it exactly. I lured you. I used your desire to find ‘adventure,’ as you called it, to seduce you into sneaking into that masquerade ball.

What do I care about attending a masquerade ball?

I’ve had enough of so-called romance and enough of men.

I just want to be a mother to my son and be left alone.

“Lord Ashington had a plan. Those were his men that night on the road. They were supposed to abduct us, and then Lord Ashington would rescue us, and you would be ingratiated with him. And then he could have begun his investigation with you nearby. But then Lady Wyndam’s driver put an end to his plan.

” Susan lifted her shoulders and then dropped them.

“Things turned out badly for him. But I suppose he lied to cover your crimes and decided to wed you instead of seeing justice done.”

But Evan had told her that those men had been captured and dealt with by the law. No, wait. He never said that. He’d said the men had been taken care of and would cause no one else any trouble in the future.

What a fiddling thing for him to have said to her!

Such an evasive answer was still a lie in spirit.

Had he laughed to himself over her gullibility?

Heat swept over her face and down her chest, the first wave of anger.

He knew how vital honesty between them was to her.

Why wouldn’t he have confessed this to her by now?

“Susan, I am no spy and have committed no crimes. Your attempt to assuage your guilt over betraying me is pointless.” She gaped at the pitiful woman for a moment.

“I would have gone to your father-in-law and pleaded your case with him. I would have paid for legal aid for you. I would have gone to any length possible to help you regain custody of your son. You had only to be honest with me and ask. I was your friend. Why didn’t you trust me? ”

Hours later, Angela sat in her dressing chamber, still unable to fathom her friend’s actions or motives. Intellectually, yes, she had accepted what Susan said. Accepted, but not forgiven. However, her heart still could not believe what her ears had heard.

Had Evan helped Susan with the legal aid she needed? Had such deception been worth the loss of friendship and the death of any further trust between Susan and herself?

Her stomach rumbled, empty and uneasy. The ache there caused her to place a hand over her midsection. Hunger was the last thing on her mind, but for whatever reason, she was finding it harder to skip meals.

Evan had worked for the Home Office. He had not known anything about her when he had made his choice to deceive her.

But hadn’t he gone on deceiving her? Wasn’t that worse than Jacob’s practical jokes and barbed comments at her expense?

No, because Jacob’s intentions had been mean-spirited.

Evan had been doing his job, protecting his country. But Evan...

No, she wouldn’t continue to think of what Susan had said regarding Evan. She wouldn’t continue to second-guess his motives or defend or prosecute him. Not until she had a chance to hear his side of the matter.

The sound of the door to their chamber opening made her startle.

Her heart began to pound against her ribs.

Here it was. She scrambled to her tea, long gone cold.

She took a quick gulp. The bitter taste of the cloudy, stale liquid made her grimace.

It settled uneasily on her stomach as she listened to him move about the other room.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Then she walked to push the door open and entered their shared room.

He had undressed to his shirtsleeves and sat down to remove his boots.

That he hadn’t called Oliver to attend him told her that he probably had intended to come and see her in the dressing room.

Even feeling somewhat ill and uneasy about what Susan had revealed, she still felt a little burst of desire at the thought.

Now, he was looking at her with a rakish grin. “Angela, how lovely to see you. I have missed you all day.”

He’d only gone out for a ride. They’d been parted only a couple of hours at most. A smile tugged at her mouth. It was hard to reorient herself to the idea that he had deceived her so thoroughly.

“Susan came to visit me today.” She heard the heaviness in her voice and also the accusation.