Page 26 of Bullets and Blood (Hunting Hearts #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Several empty beer bottles and an empty wine bottle were forgotten on the coffee table.

They hadn’t so much disarmed as disrobed, and they’d made it as far as the sofa.

Takeout had arrived, and they’d eaten and drunk, but they hadn’t moved from the sofa yet.

They lay tangled together, Nix’s head on Lance’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Lance’s fingers trailed through his hair, and Nix wanted to fall asleep.

He wanted to stay and wake up in Lance’s bed.

But there could be no more of either. He’d known that at his winery.

Lance had damn near ripped his heart out, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

For a little while, he’d been able to pretend that his life was worth living.

He closed his eyes, wanting a few more minutes before he got up, dressed, and went home. Lance was right; he did like to walk first. And every night that he stayed in Lance’s bed would make the end that much harder.

Nix sighed.

“This feels like goodbye,” Lance whispered. “You’re going to do that thing where you make the first cut.”

He squeezed his eyes tighter shut. Was he that fucking obvious? “This can’t continue.”

“Are you going to run?”

Despite having all the gear and a wad of cash, he’d discounted that.

He wasn’t an oath breaker and didn’t want that to be his last act.

Nor did he actually want to be running forever.

“No. I swore I wouldn’t.” He lifted his head so he could look at Lance.

“The truce is still in effect, but this…this has to stop.”

“Because you’ve decided that’s enough? I don’t get a say?”

“No, you don’t get a say because you’ll be all ‘it’ll be fine, we’ll worry about it just before’…but what difference will a few more days make?”

Lance kissed him hard. His lungs burned, and Nix didn’t want to breathe again. “How far could we get if we got on a plane tonight?”

“I have no passport.” He didn’t want to leave Zinnia either, but he couldn’t help it. They’d run, but for what? “I should’ve stayed and fought with the rest of my family. One more corpse for the morgue.”

“Then I’d have never met you, and I don’t regret this.”

“You will when your aunt finds out.” Nix pushed away, and Lance let him get up. Nix wanted Lance to hold him tight so he couldn’t leave.

Lance frowned, his lips drawn down. “I’ll beg the Reids to intervene.”

“They don’t want me and my blood causing trouble, and I don’t blame them.” He squatted down next to Lance. “I don’t blame you.” He kissed Lance’s forehead. “It’s been fun and…” He couldn’t spit the words out. It didn’t matter if he’d accidentally fallen in love with Lance or didn’t care a jot.

“And I’d do it all again in a heartbeat,” Lance finished for him.

“You wouldn’t. You’ll never accept another truce. You’ll be wary of handsome vampires who just want you for your ass. You’ll go on and…”

“Become like you. Blooded and scarred by the murders.”

“Yeah.” Nix stared at the floor. He had time to share one more truth.

He ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth, finding the hard edges of his fangs.

“Until I was blooded, I liked to be bitten. After that, I couldn’t stomach it.

I’ve died once; this time, it will be final. I’m okay with that.” He had to be.

“Run. Do something.” Lance gripped his jaw hard enough that it hurt. “You aren’t a quitter. You always find a way.”

Anger surged, and Nix opened his jaw as his fangs flicked forward. “Kill you? Buy more time, a few more months until someone else learns me inside out like you’ve done? I’ve been on your side too many times. I want my honor intact, and I will not have your blood on my hands.”

Lance leaned closer. “And I don’t want yours.”

“Then call someone in to do it.” Lance’s fingertips dug into his cheeks, but Nix wanted it to hurt. He wanted to stop liking him.

“If you think I’d do that, you don’t know me at all.” Lance released him and sat up.

Nix tumbled back onto his bare ass.

Lance scrubbed his hands over his face. “We can work this out, but you have to trust me.”

Nix stared up at his lover. He hated this, these moments where it all started to unravel because reality became too much. Sometimes it took months, other times only weeks, but this had never stood a chance. “Why are you fighting for me?”

Lance lifted his head and looked at him. “Because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

Nix shook his head. “We have three options. You shoot me and take me in. I kill you. Or I break the truce and run?—”

“We have more than that. What happened to both of us running, of meeting up with Zinnia?”

“Do you know how hard it is for one person to vanish? I have been working my ass off to get away, and you found me. Three people will be so much easier to find.”

“But harder to kill.”

“You’d be giving up everything.”

Lance flopped back onto the sofa. “Why aren’t you fighting?”

Nix hung his head and closed his eyes. “Because that’s all I’ve done for the last nine years, and I’m tired. I don’t sleep. I can’t be left alone to live, and I won’t live like a hunted animal anymore.”

“So you’re giving up? On everything? On us?”

Nix sat there with the cold tile floor biting into his skin.

“I don’t want to…I just don’t know what else to do.

Where is the option where we both get to live?

Properly live, not spend every night wondering if they’ll find us.

You don’t know what that’s like. I wouldn’t wish that on you. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

“Don’t lie; it doesn’t suit you. When you showed up armed to the teeth, you only wanted to save your own skin.”

“And I failed. And I’m sorry. I can’t keep apologizing for that.” He wrapped his arms around his knees.

“I’m not asking you to. If I’d done my job right, I would’ve taken you out at the winery or waited for you at home, but I’d become curious.” His lips were turned down. “I know the odds aren’t good?—”

Nix laughed. “Worse odds than a three-legged horse winning the Melbourne Cup.”

“We’ve got four legs, weapons, and knowledge. It’s not that bad.”

“It’s not that good either. You should walk away. Chalk it up to experience.” He held Lance’s gaze and gave his words a little nudge. That would be the kindest thing he could do for Lance. If he forgot, he could go home.

Lance snapped his gaze away. “Don’t do that. Never do that.”

For several minutes, they sat there, Lance studiously not looking at him. Nix’s ass was numb, and all he wanted was to crawl into Lance’s bed and pretend that he might get a full night’s sleep.

“Maybe I should go.” Nix got up, found his clothes, and pulled them on, checking that he had his weapons. He moved slowly, waiting for Lance to stop him. To say something.

Lance didn’t move. He cradled his head in his hands, and his shoulders lifted with each breath. Nix stood rooted to the spot, his heart breaking, bleeding, dying. What comfort could he offer when they’d both known the rules of the game from day one?

His throat was thick and tight. He blinked and stared up at the ceiling. Why couldn’t they have the life they wanted? It wasn’t fair.

“I’m sorry.” He’d wanted Lance to care…but that had been before he’d gotten to know him. He opened the door and let himself out, taking a couple of deep breaths to try and stop the ache. It didn’t work. The only thing that would was time—the one thing he didn’t have.