Page 25 of Bullets and Blood (Hunting Hearts #1)

Chapter Twenty-One

Lance drove him to work and picked him up.

He knew he should quit, but he couldn’t bring himself to collapse the life he’d built.

Not yet. Maybe Lance was right, and they should continue as though nothing were wrong until the twenty-four-hour mark.

The Orlans thought he’d packed up and vanished into the bush; maybe he could stay right where he was.

Maybe they’d get bored and leave Lance and him alone.

“If Zinnia were here, would you…” Nix couldn’t say it. To get blooded by another family was a big deal.

Lance took his eyes off the road for a second. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. You’re not going to get old for a long time. You won’t want me when I’m forty and going grey.”

Nix’s lips twitched. That didn’t bother him. “You’d no longer be an Orlan if she did.”

His knuckles whitened. “I’d be a Hadley by blood. The enemy. I should be able to say yes. But the Orlans are my family.”

“It’s okay. I’m just thinking of ways out of this.” That was the only one he had where one of them didn’t die, at least not immediately. He had no doubt they’d be hunted, and three people on the run would be that much harder to hide than one.

“You’re always thinking. I can see why I failed to catch up with you sooner.”

Nix smiled, but they fell into silence. Lance turned down a small road instead of heading to his place. “Why are we going this way?”

“I made an appointment with the real estate agent.”

“Why?”

“So that we could look around it during daylight instead of like a couple of thieves.”

“But there’s no point.” Tick. Tick. Tick. But in his head, all he heard was Lance’s groans as he came, and all he saw was the way he’d looked at him this morning as though he Nix Hadley was the only one Lance Orlan wanted to wake with. He was damn sure he didn’t fuck that well.

“We have six days to live a life and do everything.”

“It’s not possible.”

Lance slapped the steering wheel. “I know. I just… Just shut up and say thank you.”

Nix stared out the window. A lump had formed in his throat, and he couldn’t get the words out. Why was Lance doing this? Being nice. Falling for him. Making it impossible to not fall for him. Damn him.

He couldn’t look at Lance. It hurt too much.

Lance put his hand lightly on Nix’s leg as though expecting to be brushed away. “We’re a happy couple looking to spend some family money.”

Nix shook his head. “Well, a third of that is true.”

“Which third?”

“Whichever you want.” Nix shrugged. “But I have no money, your aunt won’t let you buy it, and neither of us looks happy.”

“Your tongue is as sharp as your teeth.”

“Thank you.” Nix glanced at him and smiled. “For the compliment and for doing this.”

* * *

The gate was already open, so Lance turned up the driveway and pulled into the small carpark out the front of the house.

The gravel driveway was sprouting weeds, and the garden beds were overrun.

He was beginning to think this wasn’t a good idea.

The winery might have looked okay in moonlight, but by daylight, it was a mess.

However, Nix was truly smiling. Not the forced one he so often wore that tightened the corners of his lips and didn’t reach his eyes, but one that took away the edges.

Nix had dropped his shield and lowered the point of his sword—for a few minutes, anyway.

Lance got out of the car and breathed in, glancing up at the dappled sunlight coming through the gum trees. “Do you need your cap?”

“I should be fine.” Nix shut the car door, but he didn’t rush up to the open door of the shop and café. He held out his hand and waited for Lance to take it. “Happy couple, right?”

The way Nix looked at him, it was easy to believe the lie and forget that Nix was only with him because of the truce. He was useful to Nix, a convenient fuck and little more. He took Nix’s hand. Still better than being an accessory to murder. That’s what he’d be if he followed orders.

He didn’t have the spine of steel that Nix had or the walls to keep people out.

But he’d learned that beneath the prickles and armor Nix wore, he was a wounded creature.

He should be telling his aunt that. Nix Hadley wasn’t an ice-cold killer; he was a broken man who’d done as he was expected even though it destroyed him death by death.

Lance walked with Nix to the door, knowing that while he couldn’t make a plan where they got to live and be together, he could make one where they both got to live.

Maybe.

He’d never be blooded. But for the first time in his life, he wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted. That was why he couldn’t answer when Nix had asked. If he wasn’t blooded, what he had with Nix wouldn’t last—he wasn’t that much of an optimist.

Nix greeted the real estate agent with all the charm Lance had come to expect from him.

The man glanced at the two of them as Nix rattled off the lie about family money and starting a place of their own.

He gave Lance’s hand a squeeze and gave him an adoring glance, and even Lance believed the damn lie.

The real estate agent clearly did. Because he was thoroughly ensorcelled or because he wanted to offload the dump?

They wandered through the building, what had been the cellar door.

There was a small café with an industrial kitchen, fittings still in place.

Nix asked all the right questions about permits and the structure as if he knew about running a winery.

Then he started asking about what kinds of grapes had been planted and if the vines had been tended or left.

And Lance realized this was what Nix had been preparing for, what his family had offered him as youngest son before the broken peace talks and the murder of his older brothers. Nix knew this stuff because it was what he was interested in. This was where his heart lay.

Lance wanted nothing more than to write a check and buy the place for him.

They left the business premises and looked over the house. It wasn’t a total dump. It needed a clean-up, some repairs, and a repaint. Nothing he couldn’t do with the right tools and time.

Nix put his hands on the railing and stared out at the vines that stretched as far as he could see. Nix nudged him. “See the top of the hill? That’s the property line.”

“There’s also another area three kilometers down the road. Also being leased,” the estate agent said.

“If I bought it, when would I get the use of my grapes back?”

“After the next harvest.”

Nix nodded. “Can I go down to the field?”

“Go for it. Have a wander and a chat. I’ll wait here.” The real estate agent went into the kitchen.

Nix was already heading down the steps and out into the field as if it were already his.

Lance jogged to catch up. “What do you think?”

Nix spun in a circle, eyes up to the sky and mouth pulled into a perfect sad smile.

“That it’s everything.” He lowered his hands.

“And totally out of reach. Even if I crawled over broken glass for a year, I’d never have it.

Do you know what that’s like to want something so bad…

” He winced and clamped his jaw shut. “Of course you do. I would turn you if I could, trade my blood for this place in a heartbeat.”

It wasn’t being blooded Lance was thinking about. It was Nix. He’d never really have him. There’d always be bad blood between them because of who they’d been born.

“I didn’t mean for this to hurt.”

“I like the pain. I want to turn the knife. Just so I know I’m alive and have more than surviving to live for. I want you to add it all to your dossier when this is done. Someone should know the truth.” Nix drifted between the rows of vines.

My family doesn’t care about the truth.

They cared about power and control. “I still don’t understand why my aunt?—”

Nix put his fingers on Lance’s lips. “And the odds are you’ll never know. Unless you are face-to-face. And even then, you won’t live to share the answer.” He pulled his finger away. “Happy couple.” That forced smile again. “God, I want this to be real.”

Lance was sure his heart fractured at Nix’s pain, but he didn’t know how to say he wanted that too. Nix’s plans didn’t include him. All he wanted was the winery. He swallowed down the hurt. “What are we going to tell him?”

“Oh, we don’t want to be too keen. There are other places we’re looking at.”

“We are?”

“There’s more than one winery for sale down here. All those people who rushed out for a tree change with their retirement funds found it more work than they expected, and now they’re trying to get out.”

“Then why this one?”

“I liked it from the moment I rode past it. There’s just something about it… The hills, the stream, the house on site.” He shrugged. “Haven’t you ever decided you want something for no good reason, or are you always the good foot soldier?”

“If I were a good soldier, we wouldn’t be standing here.” He turned and stalked off.

“You granted the truce,” Nix called after him.

Lance spun. “Because I’m a fucking idiot.”

“That makes two of us then, doesn’t it. I should have just surrendered and saved us both the effort of pretending to give a damn.”

Lance closed the distance between them in a few angry strides. “I wasn’t pretending. But it’s good to know you were.”

His blood flowed fast and angry, hot. The roof of his mouth ached, but he had no fangs to push down. Nix held his glare.

“You wanted me to care.” He spat out the words. “To save your life. You got it. It worked. Now what?” Lance raked his fingers through his hair. “They should have put a warning in your file.” He went to turn away, but Nix grabbed his arm.

“I asked for the truce. But you are the one who came to me and jumped on my dick at the beach.”

“You weren’t exactly pushing me away.”

“Why would I? My life is in your hands, Orlan. I exist at your command. So I obey.” Nix released him and gave a little bow.

“I don’t want your obedience. What happened to honesty?”

“Honesty? I’m fucked, and I’ve dragged you down with me. I never meant for that. I didn’t want to ruin your life. Fuck knows the life you want is hard enough as it is.” He studied the vines. “I wish I didn’t care. Instead, I’ll take your ruin to my grave.” Nix sniffed. “I shouldn’t care.”

But Nix did care, and for all the good it would do him, it made Lance’s heart feel like a feather because Nix liked him. “Neither should I.”

“That’s just great then, isn’t it? We’ve played this game with each other and trapped ourselves in a mess that was entirely too much fun to make.” His lips twisted into a bitter grin. “I’m not even smart enough to say I wouldn’t do the same again.”

“I wouldn’t want you to change a thing.” Lance looked back at the house.

There would be no welcoming lights come dark, no dinners on the verandah.

The fantasy existed in the hope that neither of them could really give voice to.

“No doubt he’s watching. I’m going to tell him I need to speak with the lawyers because you think with your heart, not your head. ”

“Do you know me at all?” Nix snapped.

“How many relationships did you end so you could say you did the right thing?”

Nix opened his mouth and shut it just as fast before finally answering. “All of them. There’s a reason the blooded always end up with other blooded. It becomes too hard. It hurts more when left too long. When have you had your heart broken?”

"I’ll find out how much it hurts soon enough.”

Nix took his hand. “I can take that away.”

“You don’t get it. I don’t want this to end.” His aunt would kill him if she knew he’d been sleeping with Nix. If he became a Hadley, she’d kill him. If he went home empty-handed, he might as well be dead. “I want to be the happy couple.”

“Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

Lance pulled him close and kissed his cheek. “One of the many reasons you like me.”

“It’s really not.” But he didn’t push away. He let himself be led back to the house to tell a few more mistruths to the estate agent.

At the bottom step, Lance paused. “It’s still a dump…but I’d buy it for you in a heartbeat so it could be our dump.”

“You don’t know anything about winemaking.” Nix blinked, his eyes glassy, and looked away. “Besides…this isn’t what you want.”

“No, but you are. If we pretend for one moment that we are just two people, then there is nothing stopping us from living the lives we want.”

“No one is a normal person. And I want more than pretend, Lance. I want safety. I want someone who knows what I am so I’m not hiding. I want you…but for all my planning, I don’t know how to make it happen. I know you don’t want to talk about it until the day before, but we need to make plans.”

“Let’s wait and see how my family reacts to your purchases. We have time.” And he didn’t want to waste it talking about the end when they’d barely begun. He stepped down and embraced Nix.

Nix slipped his arms around Lance’s waist and rested his head on his shoulder. “Do you actually want this place?”

It wasn’t the place—it was Nix. “It has a certain charm. But honestly, I’d rather drink beer than wine.”

Nix drew back. “You mean that all this time, I’ve been plying you with the wrong alcohol?”

Lance smiled. “You were stealing it anyway.”

“I prefer to think of it as getting familiar with the range.” He turned in Lance’s arms and stared over the vines. “This is the end game. To get here, there’s so many other moves.”

“We’ll figure it out. Together.”

Nix leaned against him and covered Lance’s hands with his. For a few moments, Lance let himself pretend that this was their place and their biggest problem was getting the possums out of the roof and picking paint colors.