Page 17 of Buck (Diver Downeast #2)

What had she done?

Well, for starters, the impossible.

It seemed she’d rendered Buck Sothard, mute, which from her memory, had always been a difficult thing to do.

The Buck she once knew had an answer for everything; an angle that would best skew any circumstances to his benefit.

But right now, he was standing stalk-still, looking like a deer in the headlights.

Which was ridiculous.

Just because she’d admitted to lusting after him, didn’t mean she wanted anything more, and he needed to know that.

“Buck—”

“Bobbie—”

They both started at the same time, so with a dip of her chin, Bobbie conveyed that he should continue.

He drew in a deep breath.

“I came here with only one purpose in mind,” he heaved, “and that was to clear the air between us. I’m, uh, not sure that kissing you will support that.” He regarded her uncomfortably.

“Okay, then. If you’re not interested…” She tried to appear blasé regarding his answer, but her disappointment was almost tangible, the way the words hit her chest.

“Wait. No. I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” he corrected quickly, almost stumbling over his words. “I just think it will be a huge distraction.”

That was a pretty honest answer, and Bobbie appreciated the truth in it. If she got her lips on him, there’d absolutely be no talking.

He cleared his throat. “Uh, what would you say to a nice, long hug, instead?”

A hug? Had he really asked that?

He was waiting, looking at her with big, puppy-dog eyes.

Huh . A hug was his answer to the buzzing that had been whipping through her veins since the moment she’d seen him on the dock? And don’t even get her started on catching his intoxicating scent while they’d unloaded her stuff. His sweat was…heady.

Right. That sounded gross on paper, but dammit, Buck’s musk had always been a weak spot of hers. There was something completely unique about the man’s pheromones that refused to quit.

A hug, though ?

“That’s what you want?” she finally asked.

“Not really,” he answered, again, honestly. “But I need to touch you, and it’s the only thing I can think of that won’t be…aggressive.”

Mmm. Aggressive . She imagined that Buck would be quite powerful between the sheets.

But a hug? Being wrapped in his arms would give her a good long opportunity to sniff him. And if she hung on a little long, it might even disarm both their good intentions.

“Okay. A hug,” she agreed, not moving.

If Buck was setting their new parameters, he could start this off.

He moved a step closer and Bobbie’s breath caught.

His hands reached out and curled around her biceps.

He drew her forward, and…

Damn. Bliss.

Bobbie snuggled into him like it was only yesterday that she’d been in this exact same position, feeling seen, safe, and cherished.

Being enfolded against Buck, the only physical act they’d allowed between them, had always been so damned perfect; so right.

And now, here was the hard presence of his muscles mashed up against her body once again, the steady beat of his heart under her cheek; things she remembered so well, and yet…

Wow. There was one, major difference.

Buck was harder, broader, and much more imposing as an adult than he’d been as an eighteen-year-old kid.

Much.

Which was a difficult pill to swallow. If they’d stayed together, she would have seen this new Buck emerging. All the things they’d missed..

Not that his embrace felt emotionally different.

The immediate comfort she derived from being in Buck’s arms felt exactly the same. Which was really puzzling. He’d betrayed her in the worst way and derailed her life. She would have thought she’d draw no contentment at all from being wrapped in his arms.

Shit.

This was a mistake.

Bobbie allowed herself to sink into the fullness of the moment for a few additional seconds before she gathered all her fortitude, pushed away, and stepped back.

Buck actually groaned as they separated. “That’s it, huh?”

“There shouldn’t even have been that ,” she managed, but try as she might, Bobbie couldn’t drag any residual fury to the surface.

She’d basically asked for it, and fuckity-fuck, against all odds, the bodily contact had calmed her down.

She no longer wanted to dismember Buck and feed him to the fishes.

Just the opposite, in fact. She wanted to slam her body back up against his and continue to soak him in.

He felt like…home. And wasn’t that a kick in the ass. Buck had always been her champion; keeping her safe from her brothers, making sure she was “seen” at school. He’d been her hero…until he wasn’t.

Maybe it was time to let him talk.

Questions bubbled to the surface.

Why had he flipped on her? How could he have ruined her life so thoroughly?

Bobbie took a few steps backward, away from temptation, and sunk down on the cockpit bench.

“You still interested in having a conversation?” she asked.

“Wha…?”

If Buck had looked shocked when she’d told him she still found him attractive, her desire to initiate the dialogue he’d been shooting for had him dumbfounded again.

He cleared his throat, regrouping, and that was her fault. She was giving him all sorts of mixed signals. But likewise, her own resolve was all over the map, so she needed to clarify.

“You wanted to talk?” she reiterated.

“Uh, yeah. I do,” Buck finally replied, and tentatively took the seat opposite to hers. He regarded her warily, as if this was some kind of a trick.

“Okay, then. Talk,” she prompted, crossing her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling a little defensive.

Just because she was agreeing to hear him out, didn’t mean she was going to like what he said or make it easy on him.

Buck needed to amend his expectations of immediate forgiveness, if that’s what he was aiming for, right the hell now.

She gave a nod, urging him to begin.

“I didn’t do it,” he blurted out.

Fuck. Seriously ?

Bobbie responded immediately with an incredulous laugh.

“Oh, come on Buck. That’s all you’ve got? Fifteen years of anticipating this conversation, and you can’t do better than ‘I didn’t do it’ ?”

His brows drew together as he scowled, but no additional words made it past his lips.

Bobbie angrily filled the silence as she came back at him.

“Of course you did it,” she spat. “All of it. You broke into the hardware store for weapons of destruction, then went out and scuttled my boat, putting it at the bottom of the ocean. The evidence that Chief Ildavorg collected was irrefutable.” She tipped her head, sarcastically.

“And…duh. If you really were innocent, you wouldn’t have slunk off. You would have raised holy hell.”

“I tried,” Buck whispered, looking anguished. “But the Chief…my family… They wouldn’t let me see you. They said you were devastated. But I know you would have believed me if we’d had a face-to-face.”

Bobbie wasn’t letting Buck off that easily. She had so many questions, and his denial of guilt had done nothing to mitigate them. “Why did you let the police railroad you into the Coast Guard if you didn’t do it?”

It looked like Buck had a head-full of things to say. It took him a long minute to find his voice, but when he did, it was with a question of his own.

“After I left, why didn’t you immediately buy another boat and enter those competitions so you could go off to college?”

“Buy a…?”

How dare he ask her that. Bobbie’s ire ramped up.

“Seriously, Buck?” she snapped. “You think I had enough money to buy a new boat? If I had, don’t you think I would have used that to pay for my college tuition in the first place instead of pinning all my hopes on those race purses?”

Now his brows drew together. “But…”

It took a moment, but the bewilderment on his face eventually cleared, and he looked like he reached his own conclusion.

“I think I understand. You used some of it to get the less expensive, non-racer you have now, and the rest helped you open up your catering business. But my mother said you waited three years to get your boat, and seven to start your shop. Why did it take you ten years to spend the money?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Bobbie’s voice rose. “What money could I possibly have had to make anything happen?”

“My college money,” he answered without hesitation.

“Your…?”

A shiver went up Bobbie’s spine.

Could it…? Could he…?

This was the first she was hearing about Buck paying any restitution. If what he said was true, everything she’d believed for the past decade and a half was a lie…

“Buck.” Her voice shook. “Before we go any further down this rabbit hole, You didn’t answer my question before. Why did you let Chief Ildavorg talk you into joining the Coast Guard?”

Buck was already shaking his head before she’d gotten half way through.

“Because once I paid you and Mr. Jerlins at the hardware store for all the damages, my savings were kaput. I didn’t have the money for college anymore.

Therefore, per Chief Ildavorg, it was either stay in town, serve some jail time, then perform many hours of community service under the condemning eyes of everyone in town who’d now labeled me an asshole, or go into the military.

It was a no-brainer. Three of my older brothers were already enlisted, so I just picked a branch of the service they hadn’t. Hence, the Coast Guard.”

“You…paid me and Mr. Jerlins?” Bobbie repeated, her heart slowly breaking under the weight of what this all meant.

Buck didn’t seem to notice her distress.

He nodded. “Almost sixty-thousand dollars that I’d earned and saved from years of working at my father’s mill,” he told her.

“And don’t get me wrong, I’d do it again, just to help you out.

But I’m still puzzled. Why didn’t you use the money to either buy a new boat, or head off to school right away? ”

“Buck…”

Realizations were beginning to populate Bobbie’s head, and none of them were pretty. Her lips were numb when she finally answered.

“Buck, I… I never saw any of that money.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, his eyes growing wide. “I gave it to the Chief before I left. He said he’d make sure it was distributed properly. You don’t think he…?”

Buck looked like he didn’t know quite what to believe.

“No.” She quickly shut him down. “I don’t think the chief did anything inappropriate with the money.

” Bobbie’s voice grew cold with certainty as reality sunk in.

“But I have a pretty good idea who did. Still,” she took a deep breath, “I refuse to jump to conclusions a second time. I did that once, and it lost me my…best friend.”

She dared lean over to place a hand on Buck’s knee.

He covered it with his own, and her gut settled.

“So, you believe me?” he asked, with a break in his voice.

“I do. I really do,” she repeated with surety, her voice a mere whisper. “Why would you make something up when I can just check with the chief and make sure what you’ve told me is true?”

There was no doubt in her mind, after this simple two-minute conversation with Buck, that she’d been duped.

How could she have been so blind?

Anger flared fast and bright. Her gut told her exactly who was behind it all, even though the motive was unclear.

Bobbie hardened her resolve. “You and I need to have a conversation with the chief, right away.”

Buck looked concerned. “To verify my word? Of course. But are you going to fill me in on the rest of your thought process? I’m completely in the dark here.”

“No. I’m not going to say anything. Not yet, at least. If I’m right, it’s going to take a lot of work to untangle everything that happened, and we’ll need to be extra careful to make sure we don’t show our hand.”

Yeah. They needed to play this just right.

Bobbie regarded Buck seriously. “I have to work tomorrow until two. Would you…come to the shop? From there, we’ll go pay the chief a visit. That’s if you want to help get to the bottom of things.”

Buck looked a bit dazed, but immediately agreed.

“Of course I want to help. Do you—?” He cut himself off.

Clearly, he was having some trouble waiting for answers, but he managed to swallow down the rest of his curiosity.

“Two o’clock works for me. I’m headed to New Hampshire in the morning to look at a bunch of used diving gear for our new company, but I’ll make sure I’m back in time to pick you up.

I’ll also call Chief Ildavorg and set up an appointment for two-thirty. ”

“Good.”

Bobbie could barely maintain her stoic face when all she wanted to do was scream. If what she was thinking was actually true, her entire adult life—from the point of Buck leaving until present—had all been a farce, orchestrated by her fucking brothers.

This whole thing had Drew and Jeff written all over it.

How could she not have known? How could she have been so blind?

But, again, what had been their motive? What good had it done either of them to scuttle her boat and end her chances at entering those sailing competitions?

Their crime made no sense. They’d already known that if she hadn’t won, she’d been ready to work for a few more years, then sell her boat to raise the money for school.

Why had they destroyed her dreams when it wouldn’t have cost them a dime?

Bastards .

They’d not only changed the entire trajectory of her life, they’d stolen Buck’s chances of going to college, as well.

Had they also known, before they’d committed their heinous crimes, that Buck would end up paying for damages?

If not, she could just imagine their glee over that particular icing on the cake as they’d pocketed her funds.

“What’s going on in your head, Bobbie?” Buck asked cautiously. “You look…really angry.”

Bobbie couldn’t keep the snarl from her tone. “Because I am, Buck. Not at you, though,” she assured him. “Not anymore. It looks like we were both victims, and now…” She trailed off, not quite knowing how to finish her sentence.

Buck didn’t have that problem.

“Now, we find out who screwed us over fifteen years ago,” he ended grimly. Buck wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t saying her brothers’ names, either, but he must suspect.

“Exactly,” Bobbie agreed.

For her, it wasn’t the “who” that needed clarification.

It was the “why”.