Page 19

Chapter Eighteen

Cameron

Five days later…

I contemplate everything about my life as I sit on this plane, squished between some guy in a business suit with too much cologne and a teenager blasting emo music. I’d probably be annoyed if the music sucked, but it’s quite fitting to my mood. The cologne on the other hand, has got to go.

I’m heading back to Virginia, though everything in me tells me I shouldn’t. I should hurt Austen the same way he hurt me. Worse, actually. But that’s not who I am. Besides, would not showing up to his wedding really hurt all that much after what he said? Probably not. I thought we were friends. I thought we were better than this. I guess I was wrong.

Part of me knew what we did was a mistake. We were both drunk and not thinking clearly. But that’s the thing. We were both drunk. Why is all the blame on me? Why am I made out to be a borderline predator as if I took advantage of him?

We were both drunk!

Knowing Austen as well as I do, I’m sure he was terrified over what happened. Over Savannah finding out, over his sexuality, over our friendship… but all he had to do was talk to me like a normal human and we could have figured this out. But no. He had to go and say some words that I will never be able to get out of my head.

How could you be so selfish?

It pisses me off. It makes me so angry that he could say something like that to me, knowing I am the most unselfish person on the goddamn planet.

Still, here I am, on a plane back from Hawaii to be the best man in his wedding.

When I left the hotel room in Vegas, I called Harvey and let him know I had two conditions if he wanted me to take this movie gig. One: I needed a plane ticket out of Vegas asap because I had zero money and no way to leave. Two: I needed to be back for the wedding.

Thankfully, that was easy enough since filming wrapped up late last night. They may need me back but if they do, it won’t be for a few weeks. According to the email I got from Harvey this morning, there is another job lined up for me.

I’ve found I don’t hate acting. I’m not great at it, but with a pretty face, who really cares?

Yeah, someone actually said that to me. Didn’t roll my eyes then, but I do every time I think about it. I’d prefer modeling, but if this is what’s getting me paid and keeping my mind off the shit show that is my life, so I’ll take it.

Once we’re on the ground, I catch a ride to campus since all my stuff is still there. I missed my classes last week, but I should be able to catch up. If I stick around, because I’m not sure I will. I don’t want to risk running into Austen or any of his brainless jock friends.

Dropping out is probably my best bet.

The only contact Austen and I have had is my text to him a few days ago letting him know I’d still be his best man if he wanted me to be. His response was: probably a good idea so people don’t ask questions.

No I’m sorry , or I wouldn’t have anyone else , or even a thank you .

Never thought my best friend could act this way toward me, but I guess you really don’t know anyone.

Not having much time, I quickly get ready then head out to the venue and wait until the very last minute to get out of my car. I considered taking a ride share, but the quicker I can get out of here, the better.

I head into the church and Paul spots me.

“Hey, man. Hit traffic or something?”

“Yeah, something,” I answer.

“Well, come on. Austen has been waiting for you.”

Doubt it, but okay.

He leads me down a few halls into a room where all the guys are sitting and laughing and joking around like the idiots they are. Everyone has a glass in their hand, some amount of amber liquid inside. There’s a glass bottle on the table between them, and I swipe it up and gulp it, knowing I’m going to need it.

I feel eyes on me, but ignore all of them. Especially the bright blue ones glaring at me from my left.

“You’re not supposed to be the nervous one,” Trey says with a laugh.

“Well, what can I say?” I shrug, giving the halfass answer.

The door opens and we all glance over to see Austen’s and Savannah’s father walking in, both looking like someone just died. I’m sure no one did, that’s just what they look like.

“It’s time to line up,” Jack, Savannah’s father, says.

Everyone gets up and finishes their drinks, so I take another swig from the bottle before heading over with them.

Austen steps right beside me, fixing his suit jacket. I ignore him and how good he smells, and how fucking handsome he looks. He got a haircut and his short beard is all neat and shiny. The dark grey suit fits him like a glove, but of course it does. That’s how clothes look when you have enough money to get them all tailored to you. Not that I’m salty about him being rich or anything, but everything about him is pissing me off right now.

I shouldn’t be angry with him, I should understand. And some part of me does. I just thought our friendship was more important than this. Whatever this is. What is causing him to act like this? Which of his fears is on top? Savannah finding out that he cheated? Or is it because I’m a guy? He knows I would never say anything, so that only makes me think it’s the gay thing. Or he really, truly thinks I took advantage of him… but I try not to think about that because it makes me so angry I see red. Austen couldn’t possibly think I’m that much of a scumbag, can he?

Stop thinking about it, Cameron.

The alcohol starts to kick in—thank fuck—and before I know it, I’m walking down the aisle with Savannah’s bridesmaid scowling at me, her too-straight nose pointed high up in the air as if she’s too good to be seen with me.

Why the hell am I here?

The church is grand with a high domed ceiling and enough seating to fit five hundred people, at least. Pretty sure each seat is filled. How does someone even know that many people?

I do a great job of zoning out until I get elbowed in the back and realize I’m being stared at because I need to hand over the ring to the officiant. It was given to me by the adorable little ring bearer, one of Austen’s cousins. He’s maybe six, and too cute in his little matching grey suit.

I try my best to go back into my head, not wanting to hear Austen’s promises to Savannah. The last thing I need to hear right now is how he’s going to promise to love her and take care of her forever, as if she deserves that from him.

Some part of me hoped Austen would see reason and realize he’s making a mistake. Come running back to me and we’d ride off into the sunset and be happy forever.

I’d be satisfied if he at least did the first part of that. Maybe I’m not Austen’s forever, but neither is Savannah. She treats him like shit, and I can’t stand her. I wish he would have chosen someone else, even if it wasn’t me. At least if it was someone I liked, someone who treated him the way he deserved, I could make peace with that. But fucking Savannah? It makes me sick.

But it’s his funeral…

As they go through the vows, making their lifelong promises and putting rings on each other’s fingers, for all the rich assholes to ooh and ahh and wipe their fake tears over, I hold my breath, waiting for someone, anyone , to call this wedding off.

It doesn’t happen.

Does that ever actually happen, anyway?

One second they’re making their promises, the next they’re kissing and everyone is clapping. My throat is tight and my eyes are watery, but they aren’t happy tears like everyone else is pretending to have. It’s anger. Fury like I’ve never felt before.

We go back with our pairings and make our way down the aisle. Everyone in the wedding party forms a large circle to be excited together. Everyone is laughing and smiling, and being happy.

I’m walking away.

“Cameron!”

It’s him who’s calling me, but it’s too late. I hear the excitement in his voice. Like maybe he wants me to celebrate too. He wants me to be part of this. Or maybe he wants to apologize. Whatever it is, I don’t care. I’m done. I can’t handle this anymore. If this is the life he chooses to have, fine. I won’t be a part of it. In any way.

I was supposed to stay for pictures and for the reception. That was the promise I’d made to him all those months ago when he asked me to take on the responsibility of his best man. Some responsibility, since I didn’t get to do anything. Didn’t get to plan the bachelor party or pick out a suit or any of the fun shit.

There is no way I’m staying here. You couldn’t pay me enough to spend even another minute with those people. Austen and Savannah can shove their wedding photos up their asses, right beside their silver spoons.

I tear my tie off as I push out of the wedding doors and toss it into the bushes as I storm toward my car.

I should not have fucking come here.