Page 1 of Broken Harmony (Heartbreak Melody #2)
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“Ally, wait, please!” she yells. I can hear the anguish in her voice. I don’t stop, though. My feet move me faster, taking me further and further away from the person I care most about in life.
I want to go back, to demand more from her, to get on my knees and beg her to pick me, but my stupid, drunk mind has way too much pride to allow me to do that.
So I keep going, taking off down the street and running like that's going to solve all my problems.
I don’t stop until my lungs scream at me for air and my legs threaten to take me down. Stumbling to a stop, I lean over, bracing myself against my knees and suck in lungfuls of air. I’m shaking, my body trembling as tears spill down my cheeks.
Did I really just confess to my best friend that I was in love with her? What the fuck is wrong with me? How could I be so stupid? Of course, she doesn’t feel the same way.
I ruined everything because I couldn’t keep my drunk mouth shut.
And then I had to go and give her an ultimatum? I really am an idiot. I sprung this on her out of nowhere, and when she rejected me, I lashed out.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I scream into the night air. “Fuck!” I sob.
I need to go back and apologize. She was right, we should have had this conversation when we were both sober. But nope, I just had to go and fuck it all up.
I just couldn’t help myself. She was lying there, looking like a fucking angel in the moonlight, so tempting and forbidden.
All I could think about was finally having her after pining after her all these years.
She was within my grasp. And the way she was looking at me. .. I thought she wanted it too.
She kissed me back, and I felt every movement of her lips deep in my bones. That's not something you can fake.
Still, I put her on the spot. Fuck. I’m such a bitch. How could I do that to her? What kind of friend am I?
I know the bullshit she has to endure. How her parents are fucking batshit crazy people. Of course, she wasn’t going to confess she was in love with me back. Even if she did, when her parents found out, they’d probably kill her. That's how insane those people are.
Even with me in her life, Lulu is still a reserved girl. Sweet, kind, loving, and innocent.
I’m the only person in her life she could rely on and trust, and I just betrayed her.
“Fuck,” I sob out, spinning around with wide eyes, staring at the complete darkness in the direction I just came from. “No. Fuck. What have I done?!”
My feet start to move, taking me back towards my best friend.
I might have felt the things I said, but I didn’t have the right to say them the way I did.
Yes, it would kill me to have to watch her return to this stupid town and be forced to live a life of controlled misery when all I want is to make her mine, but I’m not going to walk away from her because of it.
She’s Lulu. I want to love her and care for her; she’s the best person I’ve ever met. I’ll take her any way I can.
And maybe, with some delusional hope, some time away from this town and those people, she might see just how good life can be and pick me without hesitation.
I need to give her that chance. I shouldn’t have asked her to choose.
“Lulu!” I shout as I get closer to the park.
Slowing to a stop, my brows furrow as I stare at the car parked on the side of the street.
Then my heart stops.
My mind screams at me to move, to scream, to tell them to let go of her, but my body freezes as I watch in horror.
Lulu’s mother is shouting at her, but I’m too far away to hear what is being said. She opens the door, and Lulu shouts something back before her mother shoves her into the car, slamming the door shut.
“Fuck,” I hiss, finally getting my feet to move as I take off running towards the car. “Stop!” I shout just as her mother closes the door. “Wait!”
The car takes off down the road, and I feel like someone just took my entire world and drove away with it.
“Wait!” I cry out. “Please, wait.”
Tears fall as I feel my heart breaking.
If her parents are here, they at least know she’s been drinking. She’s going to be in so much trouble, and it’s all my fault.
“Fuck!” I scream at the top of my lungs, kicking the nearby garbage can so hard it scatters across the grass, sending garbage everywhere.
With shaking hands, I grab my phone. Wiping at my eyes, I try to clear them so I can find her contact. When I do, I dial her number. It goes straight to voicemail.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I cry. “Please don’t hate me.
I didn’t mean any of it, okay? Okay, I did mean that I love you, but the rest was said out of anger.
I’m not going to make you choose. I won’t leave you if you choose something I won’t like.
I just want you in my life, Lulu, okay? I love you, you're my best friend. My person. I can’t lose you.
I’m so fucking sorry for being an idiot, okay?
You were right, we should have talked when we were sober.
I’m going to come over tomorrow. Hopefully, your parents let me see you.
Fuck, I’m so sorry, Lulu. This is all my fault. I’m going to fix this, okay?”
Hanging up the phone, I clutch it tightly in my hand as I close my eyes, tilting my head back as I try to slow the tears.
My head is pounding and I feel like I’m going to puke.
The walk home feels like it takes hours, and I’m numb, broken; everything inside me feels wrong.
“Ally?” Mom’s sweet, concerned voice fills my ears. “Honey, is that you? It’s so late. I thought you would have been home a while ago.”
Closing the door behind me, I kick my shoes off, saying nothing. My body feels heavy, like it’s being weighed down.
“Ally?” Mom moves closer, her voice more panicked now.
My eyes slowly lift to meet hers, and the moment they do, I break. A sob slips, and Mom is over to me in a second, wrapping her arms around me. I cling to her like she’s my lifeline. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I ruined everything,” I sob into her chest, gasping for air as I cry more.
“What do you mean? Ruined what?” she asks, rubbing her hand up and down my back.
“What’s going on?” my dad, Ryder, asks. “Shit. Is she okay?” His deep Alpha voice is filled with fury, like he’s ready to rip the world apart just because someone hurt me. It makes me cry harder.
“I’m not sure,” Mom says. “She just came in looking worse for wear.”
“I fucked up,” I say, pulling back to look at her through blurry eyes. “I opened my big, stupid mouth and I messed everything up,” I growl, wiping at my running nose with the back of my hand.
Mom looks over at Dad with pity in her eyes, and I hate it.
“What happened?" Dad asks.
“I got drunk,” I mutter, looking away.
“Alisha,” Dad scolds.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know I’d be drinking.” I shoot him a look. Okay, so getting snippy with my parents might not be the best thing to do right now, but I mean, I’ve been making shitty decisions all night, so why not add one more to that list? I’m on a roll. “I didn’t drive home drunk, okay?”
“You're drunk?” my other dad, Calvin, asks, walking into the room.
“That’s not the point!” I shout. “The point is, my stupid, drunk mouth said shit it shouldn’t have, and now I lost my best friend for good!”
“Oh, Ally.” Mom’s face drops, sympathy taking over her features.
She knows what I mean. A few years ago, I broke down crying when I realized I was in love with my best friend, and I couldn’t have her.
She’s watched me pine after Lulu ever since.
Not happy with my choices and the ways I tried to get her out of my head.
“I told her I loved her, and when she didn’t say it back, I said some really fucked up shit.” My lower lip quivers as tears fill my eyes again. “I messed up big time.”
“I’m sure with some sleep and some time, you can talk to her.
Lulu is a wonderful girl. You two seem to have something between you that makes you more than just best friends.
You can’t just throw that kind of connection away.
I’m sure if you apologize and make it up to her, everything will work out. ”
“I don’t think it will.” I hug her close again. “I really do think I lost her for good, Mom. And I can’t fucking breathe. I can’t lose her. I can't. She’s my everything. I feel like I’ll die without her.”
“I know it feels like that now, baby girl, but everything will be okay,” my dad, Calvin, tries to reassure me while rubbing my back.
No. He's wrong. So damn wrong. Nothing is going to be okay. I fucked it all up, and now I’ve lost her for good. There’s no way her parents are going to let her go to California now. Even though Lulu turns eighteen soon and can legally take control of her life, they won’t let her.
Still, I’m not going to go down without at least trying to fight for her.
For now, I’ll go to bed, sleep off this alcohol. And tomorrow, I’ll go over to her place. I just need to see Lulu. To talk to her.
I know her parents aren’t going to let me, but I at least have to try. She needs to know I’m sorry. That I’m not going to make her choose. That I choose her, no matter what. Even if all she can offer me is friendship, because that’s worth more than anything.
***
Having a hangover from hell doesn’t even come close to what I feel like right now.
It’s not just the alcohol, it’s all the crying I did last night, the lack of sleep, and the puking I’ve done for the past half hour.
Add in the fact that I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, shattered into millions of pieces, only to have the pieces shoved back in, doesn’t help.
“You look like a fucking mess,” I mutter to myself as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red, there are dark circles clinging to the underside of my eyes, and my face is pale and splotchy. I’m a hot mess. No. Not hot, just a mess. A fucking mess.