Page 61 of Broken Breath (Rogue Riders Duet #1)

I was supposed to stay cold.

Stick to the plan.

And now I’m spiraling, failing , drowning in secrets and stolen kisses and the weight of every lie I’ve told.

Taking the overall World Cup from Raine was the only thing that was ever supposed to matter, the last thing to matter, and I’ve failed Dane and myself.

Mason’s footsteps crunch softly behind me, and then his hand is there, cupping the back of my neck. “Breathe.”

“I’m trying ,” I rasp out. “I’m fucking trying! I can’t…”

I choke on my words as I clutch at the hem of my jersey, seconds away from tearing it and the binder off to give myself room for air again.

“Okay. Okay, ” he soothes, still in that calm, gruff voice. “Then don’t try. Just listen to me and do as I say.”

I manage to nod before squeezing my eyes shut so hard it hurts.

“Up,” he says softly, pulling my shoulder back.

My knees almost buckle as I straighten, but then I feel his other hand on my stomach, and he draws me gently back into him.

“I know you said you don’t like people touching your chest,” Mason murmurs, breath warm against my ear. “But I think it might help. Can I?”

My hands shake as I curl my fingers around his wrist, then guide him to my chest, settling his palm flat against my sternum, right above the binder, where it’s safe.

“Good, feel my hand, and breathe with it. That’s all you have to do.” Mason inhales slowly, his chest lifts behind my back, and the hand on my sternum rises with it.

I mimic him, drawing in a breath to match his, the motion pulling his palm higher. My ribs ache with the stretch, but I manage it.

“Now exhale,” he murmurs as his hand presses gently inward, just enough to guide me. “Let it go. All of it.”

I breathe out, shakily but steadier than before. My body stutters, still trembling, but it listens to him more than it ever listens to me.

Like it trusts him more than I trust myself anymore.

Mason breathes in, and his palm lifts, my breathing following. He exhales, and his hand presses in again, a subtle cue, and I let go.

We keep going like that, his body leading mine, his hand teaching me how to feel air again.

“In and out.” His other hand is still on my stomach, holding me together. “Inhale and exhale.” His breath is at my neck, and slowly, slowly , the vice around my ribs loosens. “Breathe for me, Bambi. You’re doing such a good job.”

The breath I just found catches in my throat, but it’s not panic this time.

“Better?” Mason asks quietly.

I turn without answering and throw my arms around his neck. He stiffens, caught off guard, but only for a second, then he exhales and folds around me, his arms locking tight around my back, and pulling me into him.

“Thank you,” I whisper, the words barely scraping past my throat.

And then I crack.

The tears start slow, just heat behind my eyes, a stinging pressure, but then they surge, breaking loose in a rush I can’t control.

My breath hiccups out, and suddenly I’m sobbing into his shoulder like all the tension, all the guilt, fear, and shame, has been waiting for this exact moment to bleed out.

Mason just holds me tighter .

“Bambi,” he murmurs, one hand stroking over the back of my head with the gentlest touch. “What’s going on?”

“I fucked up,” I choke, the words ripping out of me. “I fucked up so badly.”

Mason doesn’t flinch. He just keeps stroking my hair like he’s done this a hundred times before.

“Why?” he asks softly.

I try to answer, but it comes out messy and broken. “I don’t know… they’re both… and I…”

Mason doesn’t rush me, he just keeps tracing slow, grounding circles on my back. After a beat, he says gently, “They’re both into you, yeah?”

I snort, but it feels bitter. “Finn’s not into me. He’s just… an idiot.”

Mason’s voice is dry, unimpressed. “Well, it certainly didn’t look like that.”

“He’s Dane’s best friend, so that makes him think that he’s like my second big brother or something. He’s just… overprotective.”

“Brother?” Mason echoes.

I freeze.

Shit.

“I mean… cousin,” I mumble, stiff in his arms.

He hums, but lets it slide, still holding me like I might bolt. “And you? Are you into one of them?”

There’s a pause, a beat too long, before I drop my forehead against his chest, close my eyes, and whisper the truth like it might tear me open.

“Yes.” I breathe. “Both.”

And into you.

The full truth blazes through my mind, but thankfully remains unsaid, and it will stay that way because once the words are out, I can’t take them back.

Mason is my nobody . My first real friend, even when I didn’t want any. The only one who’s never asked for more than I could give. He’s steady when I’m chaos. Solid when I’m breaking, and I’ll lose him at the end of the season.

But if I say too much now, I’ll lose him even sooner.

And that might be enough to break me for good.

Mason leans back to look down at me with those unreadable brown eyes. “Weird,” he says, dry as ever.

Ouch.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “I don’t care if you’re gay or bi, or whatever. I’m bi too.”

I straighten. “You are?”

“I am.” His smirk curves slowly, but there’s something warm behind it.

A glint in his eyes as he reaches up to brush a strand of hair from my face.

His thumb lingers just a beat too long, and then he licks his lips.

“And I don’t care if you’re into two guys, but those guys?

” He snorts. “Come on. I know you could do so much better.”

Fuck. Is he talking about himself?

I swipe at my face with the back of my hand. “I don’t know what to do.”

Please, tell me what to do.

“You don’t have to do anything.” His hand rises again, and this time he carefully wipes a tear away with the side of his thumb.

“But…” I start, already unraveling again.

“They’re acting like fucking idiots. They don’t deserve you. Not right now at least. If they get their shit together? Maybe. But today? Fuck them both.”

I shoot him a look through the tears. “You’re not exactly unbiased.”

“True.” He shrugs, unapologetic. “But I didn’t almost get us all disqualified. That was them. ”

“Oh really?” I scoff. “You didn’t throw punches a few weeks back?”

“That was defending myself . Delacroix’s a hothead, and now apparently Greer’s joined the club.”

“He’s not usually.” I sag against him. “This is my fault.”

“Nope,” Mason says firmly. “They’re adults. They’re the ones making choices.”

It’s only then that I realize we’re still clinging to each other, his arms snug around my back, my hands curled at his shoulders like I forgot how to let go. I shift slightly, ready to pull back, but he just hugs me tighter.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I needed a hug too.”

That undoes me more than anything else.

I close my eyes and let my head rest against his collarbone, breathing in the quiet between us and his pine needles and fresh air scent. The weight of the day, the tension of the night before, it’s all still there, pressing on me heavily, but somehow, Mason’s grip keeps it from crushing me.

He holds the storm back without trying to fix it. Just holds me.

“Thank you,” I mutter. “And I’m sorry. This is all so… embarrassing.”

“It’s not.” Mason squeezes me once before leaning back to look at me, his dark eyes searching. “Not for your nobody .”