Page 23 of Broken Alpha (Unwanted #1)

“Unlike you, my parents didn’t know what my designation was at birth, though it was assumed I would be an Alpha, considering our family line.

There hasn’t been an Omega born in my family in centuries, but I was tested at puberty like everyone else.

It came with dominant markers, but I hadn’t presented appropriately yet.

Once I started college, I noticed something was off, and by society standards, I’m essentially broken.

” He took a breath before glancing at me, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.

“Until the day you entered my classroom, I had never scented an Omega. I can’t tell the designations apart, everyone smells like a Beta to me. ”

I blinked at him, processing what he was saying.

All my life, I could detect the pheromones of an Alpha.

But to present and not know if the person beside you was an Omega or a Beta…

I couldn’t tell if that was a blessing or a curse.

However, now I understand the hesitancy behind his movements around me.

I was the only person that produced a scent for him, so he didn’t want to scare me off and lose his only experience.

It explained why he kept rubbing his face and nose on my neck when we hugged and breathed deeply because it was something so new. Something he could finally experience.

“So…last night when you said you had never knotted someone, it was because you never produced a knot?” I asked carefully.

“Until you, I have never produced a knot. I had a partner leave me in college because I couldn’t give him what he needed.

” He looked at me then. “I was so worried that I couldn’t be what you needed either.

Plus, how we’re acquainted certainly didn’t help matters.

Teachers can’t be with their students. But you were the first knot that mattered. ”

“Mattered?” I tilted my head. “You just said that you had never produced a knot until last night.”

“Mmmm, technically correct,” he laughed, his cheeks turning a deep crimson. “I told you I had to take care of myself after your heat. I, uh, ended up being stuck to a sleeve I was using. You were the cause.”

I tried not to laugh. I really, really did. This was a serious conversation, and I needed to be understanding and kind, yet I couldn’t stop the laughter from inside me. Luke’s blush deepened, but he smiled at me anyway. “Why didn’t you knot me this morning?”

Luke’s cheeks flushed an even deeper red.

“I wanted to, Lord help me, I wanted to. But I was worried you would be too sore; as a dominant, my knot is bigger. The position we were in would’ve made it more difficult, though not impossible, I just didn’t want to hurt you.

And I didn’t know if we had the time to be stuck together again. ”

That made a lot of sense to me, easing the underlying fear that had settled in my stomach from the lack of his knot this morning.

I hopped off my stool, spinning him toward me to place myself between his legs, and kissed him.

Our kiss tasted of eggs and coffee, and I couldn’t help the feeling of domestication again.

“You’re not broken, Luke. But that toy will be if you ever knot it instead of me again.”

This time, he laughed, pulling me close and nuzzling my neck before kissing my collarbone. “I promise never to knot anything but you again.”

“Good boy.”

I was fully aware I was being a fucking brat.

I was on edge, fidgety, pissy, and snapping at Erik over the stupidest shit.

I was being an asshole, but I couldn’t seem to stop.

I wanted Luke. I hated that our time together was so short, and now I was pissed that Erik was sitting next to me on the couch instead of him.

It was Sunday night, and I still had yet to shower, refusing to wash his scent from me.

Instead, I was curled into the corner of the couch, under a throw blanket, wrapped in the cardigan I had stolen from Luke.

Erik sat a cushion down from me, opting not to be so close after I snapped at him earlier.

He was focused on his fried rice with beef and broccoli.

The latest episode of some superhero show playing on the TV, but I couldn’t focus.

I hadn’t been able to focus since coming back to the apartment.

I had even attempted to read the book Luke bought for me, but my attention span couldn’t absorb the words, and I kept reading the same sentence repeatedly before I finally gave up.

The pocket of the cardigan vibrated, and I pulled out my phone, unlocking it to read the text message that came through while another two followed it.

I didn’t leave my bed until late afternoon.

It still smells like you. It makes my dick hard and my heart ache.

I miss you. Is it too soon to say that?

I put the sweet and sour pork container onto the coffee table before texting out a reply to Luke, smiling down at my screen.

I can’t bring myself to shower yet. I’m wearing your cardigan, and I miss you too. Keep those balls full for me?

I don’t know if I can completely prevent myself from self-pleasure, especially when thoughts of you invade my dreams, but for you, I shall try.

I can’t wait to suck on those full balls.

You’re lucky Mr. Harllow is there right now; otherwise, I’d come and use that teasing mouth of yours.

I don’t view that as ‘lucky,’ Sir. That is the very definition of ‘unlucky.’

Fuck, I love that you called me sir. I eagerly await when we can be together again.

As much as I enjoyed your cock in me, I can’t wait until I can feel your arms around me again.

And I can’t wait to hold you, little fawn.

I found that I couldn’t control myself around Luke; filters were not installed, and I just said whatever popped into my head at the moment, and not once has Luke made me feel like I was being too much or too forward.

When nothing more came through, I put the phone back in my pocket and grabbed my pork.

I glanced up to find Erik staring at me, his expression blank.

“Who’s that?” he asked slowly.

“Classmate from another class. He couldn’t remember what pages we needed to read before Monday. Dumbass waited until the night before.” I lied easily.

Erik made a sound in his throat as if he didn’t believe me but left it alone.

He mixed his food before standing up, stating he was full.

He packed up the food before taking it into the kitchen to put it into Tupperware and placing it in the fridge.

I smiled at him as he walked past, handing me the TV remote.

He mumbled ‘good night’ before disappearing into his room.

I couldn’t help but sigh at his absence.

I could tell by his response that he didn’t really believe me and he was upset, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

He knew where I stood on our relationship and was only setting himself up to be hurt.

I pulled out my phone again, unlocking it.

Are you comfortable with me telling Erik I’m seeing someone?

I watched the dots appear, disappear, and reappear before disappearing. Luke had read my message, and he was struggling to respond. Finally, a response came through.

I don’t want to hide you. I want to openly kiss you and hold your hand and tell everyone you’re mine. But the university has rules against dating students. As long as you’re in my class, I cannot see you romantically, so I have to hide you. I’m sorry, but does Mr. Harllow need to know?

I wasn’t angry. I understood. He and I being together was a danger to his job as an educator and violated several ethics laws.

I would honestly hate myself if he were to lose his job over us, over me.

I wasn’t worth that at all. However, Erik needed to move on.

Mentioning that I was seeing someone would solidify the idea that I had found my own happiness; it was time he found his.

I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was important.

He needs to stop hanging onto the idea that we’ll be partners, that I will ever love him the way he loves me.

He deserves his own happiness, but it’s not with me.

I won’t mention who, just that I’ve started seeing someone.

It might even allow me to stay at your apartment for an extra day.

Come home on Sunday instead of Saturday. [winking face emoji]

I see; manipulate me into saying yes [winking face emoji] Leave me nameless. I promise it won’t be forever. Once you’re no longer in my class, we can tell everyone.

Even then. There is no rush to tell anyone anything until we’re ready. Until you’re ready.

Taking a deep breath, I unfurled from the couch.

Tossing the empty food container and wandering into my bedroom, I set my alarm 15 minutes earlier than normal so I would have time for a shower before class.

Stripping off my clothing except for my boxers, I pulled the cardigan back over my bare shoulders.

Now I knew what it was like to lay in my mate's arms, his front pressed against my back as he tucked me close against his body, his warmth and scent enveloping me and creating a place where I was safe, protected, and loved. Without him, I felt cold and alone, and I think it is time my brain and anxiety stopped fighting what my Omega was telling me. Luke was my mate. It was okay to miss him. It was okay to want and crave him. We move at our pace; he even said so. And if that meant coming off as desperate and obsessive, then so be it. If it makes Luke uncomfortable, I’ll back off, but until then, I’ll give in to my Omega.

Let him do what he wants. And the first step is telling Erik.