Page 114 of Bring Me Your Midnight

Witches start rushing the platform, banging on the wood with their fists. I should run, but I can’t make myself move, completely stuck to the floor beneath me.

They know what I’ve given up. They know my choice affects them all, that I’m not only turning my back on their way of life but on their safety as well.

My arm is still outstretched in front of me, my fist shaking. I can’t believe I actually did it.

Ivy jumps onto the platform and grabs my arm, dragging me off the other side. She holds me close to her as she pushes through the crowd, forcing me to move, pulling me far away. Shouts of “Traitor!” follow us, but Ivy remains steady next to me. She never falters and only stops running when we enter the woods, when the shouts aren’t quite as loud. She pulls me behind a towering evergreen, the trunk large enough to hide us both.

“Go,” she says, her voice urgent.

“Ivy,” I start, tears running down my face.

“I know,” she says, pulling me into her. “I love you, too.”

We hold each other through tears and the sound of the ocean and loud voices getting louder.

“Forever,” I say, crying into her hair.

“Forever.”

We clutch each other for another breath, and then Ivy pulls back, pushing me away from her. “Go,” she says again.

I run from the crowd, deeper into the trees bordering the lawn, unsure of where I’m going. Angry shouts follow me, and I keep running until they fade away, until I can no longer hear the desperate cries and outraged voices. I’m completely alone, banished from my coven with nowhere to go.

I keep moving, and when I’m far enough away that I’m sure I won’t be found, I sink to the forest floor and bury my face in my hands. I wish I could forget the sound of my mother’s cries, the way she looked as she collapsed into my father. My hand drifts to the vial he gave me just this morning, and a new wave of tears finds me. I should never have accepted it, though I can’t quite imagine being without it.

I know I’ll see my parents again when the chaos of my Covenant Ball has calmed and I can go home, be with them in private. But I can’t live there anymore. I’m no longer one of them. No longer allowed.

I force myself to breathe. I inhale deeply and wait for my tears to stop and my heart to slow.

I can’t believe I went through with it. But even as I sit here, scared and alone, I don’t regret it. I know it was the right choice for me. The wrong choice for everyone else, but the right choice for me.

Selfish.

Selfish and right.

“Mortana?”

I jump and look up, my eyes adjusting to the darkness in the trees as the sun sets.

Wolfe is standing in front of me, tense and unreadable. I push myself up from the ground, my gray silk dress damp from the earth, and meet his eyes. He hands me a moonflower, and I take it, brushing the petals lightly with my fingertips.

“Do you remember?” he asks me.

“No.”

He breathes out. “You don’t remember, and you walked away?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” He sounds angry, but I realize it isn’t anger at all. He’s protecting himself, not allowing any of his vulnerability to show. He’s scared.

“Because I believe you,” I say. “I used the memory keeper and knew I would never be happy if I wasn’t standing on the shore with you, practicing magic at night.”

His eyes get red and his jaw tenses. He nods several times and looks away, as if he’s embarrassed.

“Can I touch you?” I ask hesitantly.

He exhales and looks at me. “Mortana,” he says, his voice shaking, “the answer to that question will always be yes.”