Page 9

ALEC

I wasn’t expecting Bren to make it easy, but ‘Fuck me’ unless it had to do with Lexi, she wasn’t open to any other conversations. She never brought up what I’d said about not feeling like I was good enough for her.

We’d been living in the same wing for nearly a month. Sam had moved into one of the cottages when I’d moved into the wing. In that month, Lexi had grown so much. I’d gone from being ambivalent about babies to being totally in love with my little girl. Because Bren was breastfeeding, I didn’t get to feed her unless Bren expressed. Lexi hated taking a bottle, and as we only did it for me, I felt selfish making her drink a bottle when she didn’t like it. Instead, I took over bath time and spent time one-on-one with her then.

For now, she spent the majority of her time with Bren. I was back at the garage, and it wasn’t really somewhere I could have her full-time. Although Mum did have a setup for her and Bren would sometimes drop her off when she had meetings in the village. We were both busy as fuck with work. I’d started implementing everything I’d learned in the USA, and we had appointments for custom paints booked six months in advance. Bren’s new beauty line and factory were up and running. There had been a few teething problems that had kept her late, but they’d smoothed out pretty quickly.

In last week’s Church meeting, Bren had brought up the idea of purchasing the plot next to the factory that housed her new beauty range and having a farmers market every Saturday. There was a huge warehouse on the land that she was thinking about refurbishing and continuing the market in the winter or for those summer days when we got rain.

We’d take twenty percent of the profits from renting out spaces for the upkeep of the property, the electricity, and the water. The rest would be put into the fund that was used for the different charities that had been set up to benefit the village and those who lived there.

The idea had been voted in; I knew the next weeks were going to be busy for her, and I’d offered to help out, hoping she’d take me up on it… so far, she hadn’t.

With how busy we both were, there wasn’t a lot of time to connect with each other, and when we did get to spend time together, it was all about Lexi.

I’d only been back a month, and I knew that wasn’t enough time to fix everything between us, but if things didn’t move from this status quo we had going on, I’d have to start pushing.

I’d really fucked things up good and proper. Not so much with the brotherhood. Once I’d taken my beating from Reaper, that was it for them, and they welcomed me back, especially when I’d made it clear that I was staying and helping Bren with Lexi.

Ben had been another surprise; out of her brothers, he’d been the one I’d expected to be the hard one to crack, but he’d been fine. And like he’d said, as long as I treated his sister and niece with respect, he’d have no problem with me. But then Ben, Bren, and I had history that I didn’t have with anyone else.

No, what I was finding hard was not having my best friend there for me. Sam was still pissed at me for how I’d treated Bren, and I didn’t know what to do about that. Gunny and Mum had said to give him time; he’d been hit hard in the last year, what with Bella giving him the boot and then me fucking up. I hoped now that he’d met someone, he’d soften. If not, I’d be forcing him to because giving him space wasn’t working.

My alarm to remind me to pack up and go home sounded. Grabbing my phone from where I’d laid it on the workbench, I switch off the alarm. Cleaning up my mess from the day didn’t take long, and before long, I was closing up the garage and setting the alarm.

I walk out onto the pavement and look towards the café. It was Friday night, and for years we’d all met there for supper before going out for the night. We’d either go to the pub or to one of the nightclubs that the O’Sheas owned.

The table that we always sat at was full. From here, I could see them all, including Sam. I can’t lie; it hurt that he hadn’t reached out to ask if I wanted to join them. The others wouldn’t have thought about it. Deciding that I didn’t want company tonight, I walk over to my bike and swing my leg over, getting ready to ride home when Bren calls out my name.

Setting my helmet on the gas tank, I turn towards her, and not for the first time, I wonder how I’d managed to ignore her for so many years.

I’d always known she was beautiful, but since she’d had Lexi, she seemed to have blossomed. From her new lush curves to the new confidence in her step. Tonight, she was in a tight pair of jeans tucked into brown knee-high boots, a dark blue top, and a brown leather jacket that hit her at mid-thigh. Her long blonde hair was loose and swinging around her shoulders. Walking next to her, pushing Lexi in a pushchair, was Ellie. Whereas Bren was short and all curves, Ellie was the total opposite. She was tall and willowy, but they both had the same blonde hair and blue eyes.

With Ellie being so much younger than us, I’d not really spent much time with her. The more I thought back over the years, the more I realised that I’d been a complete and utter selfish fuck. That had to change. I now understood what Cash meant when he’d told me that I needed to grow up.

“Aren’t you joining us at the café?” Bren asks as they stop next to my bike.

Shaking my head, I reply, “No, I think I’ll head home.”

Surprise lights up Bren’s face, but it’s Ellie who speaks, “You should join us. Sam needs to get over whatever this is, and he’s not going to do it if you two don’t spend time together.”

“I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you all,” I reply.

Ellie tilts her head slightly as if she knows I’m full of shit, “Uncomfortable for us or for you? I can assure you it’s not going to bother any of us.”

Laughing, I shake my head, “Wow, Ellie, you’ve certainly changed. Tell me like it is.”

“Not really,” she assures me. “I still see more than I should. But that aside, you should join us for supper.”

My gaze flits from Ellie to Bren, who nods in agreement, “Ellie’s right. You should join us.”

“Okay,” I agree, getting off my bike. They wait while I store my helmet in the saddlebag. Once I’m ready, Ellie forges ahead with the pushchair, leaving me to walk with Bren. Ellie winks at me as she walks past, and I hide a smile. Seems I have one ally if that wink means anything.

It doesn't take long for us to cross the road. Leaning past the girls, I pull on the handle of the door and open it for them to go ahead of me. I wait for Ellie to park the pushchair and for Bren to get Lexi out. “Do you want her?” Bren wants to know.

“Yeah,” I reply, taking Lexi from her and inhaling her sweet baby scent. Instantly, I relax, not realising how tense I’d been until that moment. Tucking her against my chest and resting my hand on Bren’s lower back, I usher her towards the table, Ellie having already gone ahead and taken a seat. Pulling out a chair for Bren, I wait for her to sit before I sit next to her. I reply to the greetings that everyone calls out, but other than that, I’m quiet.

“What do you want to eat?” Bren asks me.

“Whatever you’re having,” I reply.

“I’m having a cheese and ham toastie with tomato soup and water, is that okay?”

“That’s fine, babe,” I answer quietly. Her lips tighten when she looks from me to Sam, but she doesn’t say anything, and I don’t want her to get involved. It’s up to the two of us. It looks like my timeline has been pushed up because I don’t want Bren worrying.

“I’ll be back,” she tells me, getting up and going to the counter to put our order in. Lexi moves on my chest, and I can’t help but smile when I see she’s blowing spit bubbles in her sleep.

“Well, that’s a first. Alec Owens with a baby. I guess she finally caught you then,” an irritating, nasally voice says from behind me.

I don’t have to have eyes in the back of my head to know it’s a woman from my past. I’d been through most of the single women in this village. Anger lights up inside me that one of them would call me out in public while I’m sitting with my family and friends. I’d always been upfront with all the women I’d slept with. I’d never made promises, and they all knew that.

Turning in my chair to see who it is, I see it’s one of the mean girls who had been at school with us, Sally, Sandy, Sara—I can’t even remember her name. My gaze shifts to Bren, who is still at the counter, but whereas before her face had been open and happy, now it’s shuttered, her lips pressed into a tight line.

Standing up, I hand Lexi to Ben, who’d stood up with me. Walking over to Sally—I think it was Sally… fuck knows. Taking her by the elbow, I pull her towards the door. Pulling it open, I usher her out, telling her, “This is a private family function, and you’re not invited.”

She throws her head back and cackles with laughter but walks outside anyway. Ripping her arm from my hand, she’s still laughing, and it’s not in a good way when she spits out, “Family function, for fuck’s sake, Alec, family, do you even know what that is? You’re nothing but a man whore, always have been and always will be. Do you honestly think you can be a family man? You can’t go five minutes without getting your dick wet. Do you honestly think that little miss goody two shoes is going to do it for you? You like variety, and it’s not vanilla pussy.”

My shoulders tighten, especially when I hear the door open and someone come out. I know whoever it is has heard everything that she’s said. Ignoring whoever has walked out, I waste no time in informing the slag that she’s wrong about my feelings for Bren.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Sally. She’s exactly what I need. I fucked random pussy for years trying to forget how I felt about her, and it didn’t work, so that should tell you something. I haven’t been with anyone else but her since the night we made our little girl. Bren is all I need.

“I don’t have her, though, and after tonight I probably won’t, not when you’ve just rubbed in her face that I managed to fuck my way through this village trying to forget her. That’s nobody’s fault but my own, though, and it’s up to me to make it right. That being said, you need to leave.”

“Oh, I’m fucking leaving,” she assures me, “this is too good not to share around. Alec fuckin’ Owens tied down. And it’s Sharon, dickhead.”

With those words flung over her shoulder, she totters off down the road towards the pub. I know it’s going to be all around the village by the morning, and while I don’t care that everyone knows Lexi is mine, I’m not sure how Bren will feel about everyone knowing.

“Nobody since Bren, huh?” Sam says, clasping my shoulder and shaking me slightly. “Are you really done with fucking around, Alec, or are you just saying that?”

Closing my eyes when I realise it’s Sam that followed me out. Even with us being at odds, it’s good to know he’s still got my back.

Turning towards my best friend so that he can see my face and know how sincere I am, “She’s all I’ve thought about since Dallas, Sam. Even when I was blocking her from my memories, she was all I thought about. For fuck’s sake, I carry her fucking earring around in my pocket and use it like a fucking security blanket. She’s always been there, and yes, I knew how she felt about me all these years, but I’ve always thought that I’m not good enough for her, not with who my father is.

I hesitate before uttering the next words because I can’t imagine a world without Lexi in it.

“I never wanted children because his blood runs through my veins, that was until I met Lexi. And as Cash reminded me, I’m more than the person who fathered me. I’m an Owens because while that piece of shit may have fathered me, Gunny is my dad and he’s a good man. Far better than I’ll ever be.

“Do I know that I have an uphill battle to show Bren that I mean what I say when I tell her that she and Lexi come first? Yes, I do. Having you angry with me isn’t helping matters either. But you need to know, even if you don’t speak to me again, I’ll still work to prove to her that she’s mine, she’s always been mine; I was just too stupid to see it.”

Sam grins at me and pulls me into a back-breaking hug, pounding on my back, making me wince because my ribs still hurt from the beating I’d taken from him and Reaper.

“I don’t envy you, brother. Bren is soft, but she’s also stubborn as hell. You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

Laughing, I agree, “Oh, I know. If it’s not about Lexi, she barely gives me the time of day. I’ll keep trying, though. I’ve known her since she was six years old, and she may not think I’ve paid attention, but I have. She’s worth fighting for. They both are.”

“Good,” Sam responds. “It’s good to have you home.”

“Fucker,” I push him away, “I’ve been home over a month. It’s not my fault you’re a stubborn arse. I was giving you until tomorrow, then I was going to make you listen whether you liked it or not.”

The tension melts away as we push and shove our way, laughing through the café door. In the end, I let Sam through first and follow behind him, my gaze automatically looking for Bren. It’s only when her eyes meet mine that I realise I’ve got my hand wrapped around her earring again. There’s none of the judgement I was expecting in her gaze, but there is something else that I can’t read in her eyes. And I wonder what it is.

I deviate from my path back to the table when an order is called. Picking up the tray, I see that it’s ours. Taking it back to the table, I unload the tray and take a seat. The rest of the table has gone back to eating and laughing, seemingly not all that bothered by the little bit of drama Sally… shit, Sharon caused. Realising that Bren is feeding Lexi, I cut up her toasted cheese to cool. Once it’s cool enough, I pierce a piece with a fork and hold it up to her lips.

Bren looks at me for a long moment before she slowly opens her mouth and takes the proffered food. I don’t say anything, just continue to feed her in between bites of my own food. Nobody pays any attention to us; it’s not like they’ve never seen it before. I can’t remember the number of times I’ve seen one of the brotherhood do this for their Old Ladies.

‘Old Lady, oh fuck,’ I think as it hits me. That’s what she’s going to be, my Old Lady. Well, she will be as soon as I can get her to agree to be, that is.

In the end, even with the drama, it’s a good night. As a unit, we make our way back to the manor. I’ve missed this, riding with my brothers. I take note of how we naturally fall into formation and wonder if Sam realises that he automatically takes the lead, with Ben and me flanking him and the Temples bringing up the rear. They’d moved into one of the cottages at the manor when they’d patched in a few years ago.

We followed along behind Bren, Ellie, and Carly. Bella had been conspicuously absent tonight, but then I’d hardly seen her since I’d been back. Sam and she would have to figure their relationship out eventually, especially with all of us being so closely intertwined in each other’s lives.

It doesn’t take me long to back my bike in next to Sam and call goodnight to everyone so that I can take Lexi’s car seat from Bren. I follow Bren up the stairs, and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy the sway of her hips as she climbed them; there was no stopping my cock hardening, not with the memories I had of her riding me to completion. Those memories had kept me company most nights as I worked to get her to trust me again.

Bren stops outside Lexi’s door, “Do you want to put her to bed tonight?”

Surprised, I ask, “Doesn’t she need another feed first?”

“She does, but I expressed some earlier for you to give her a bottle. I thought you’d like some time alone with her as I’ve had her all day. If she doesn’t want to take it, come and get me.”

“You know I’d never say no to spending time with Lexi, Bren, but I don’t want her or you to be miserable.”

Bren’s face softened at my words and her lips tilted up slightly in a smile, “I know,” she assures me. “But little miss has to get used to taking a bottle sooner or later. Both of us have businesses to run and she’ll have to go to the nursery or at least have to be left with your mum or my mum eventually.”

She wasn’t wrong, so I agree, “Okay, I’ll give it a go, but if she doesn’t like it, then I’m coming to get you.”

Bren laughs, and fuck me, but she’s beautiful when she lets herself relax. It’s like now that I’ve given myself permission to pay attention to her, I can’t help but notice all the little things I’ve missed, even though she’s been in my life since she was six years old.

“I’ll leave you two to it then. I’m going to shower, but I’ll come back and kiss her goodnight,” she says, walking away towards her room, leaving me with our daughter, who is wide awake and staring at me with her mother’s blue eyes.

“Come on, stinky girl, let’s get you bathed and in jammies. Then we’ll try the bottle,” I tell her.

It’s relaxing spending time with Lexi. If you’d told me a year ago this would be my life, I’d have laughed at you. Hell, even four months ago, but now that I’m here with her, I can’t imagine not having her be part of my life.

Tonight, of all nights when I’d have loved to get Bren so I could spend some time with her, Lexi decides to take her bottle with no problems at all, falling asleep quickly and easily. Pressing a kiss to her head, I lay her in her cot and make sure the monitors are on before pulling the door partially closed. Across the hall, Bren’s door is cracked open, and I can hear her moving about.

Knocking gently on the frame, I wait for her to answer. When she does, I’m hard-pressed not to pick her up and toss her on the bed when I see what she’s wearing.

“Fuck, Bren,” I mutter, tilting my head back to look at the ceiling, ignoring the need to adjust my rock-hard cock. Fucking silk and lace—that’s what her silky nightgown is. It clings to every curve, with a matching silk robe in a deep purple that makes her eyes pop with the colour.

“What?” she asks, sounding confused. She’s got to be messing with me, I think, but when I look at her, she seems genuinely confused.

“Nothing,” I reply, rubbing a hand down my face so hard it makes a scraping noise against my stubble. “Lexi’s down if you want to go say goodnight.”

“Thanks,” Bren says, squeezing past me and out the door. I wait until she’s in Lexi’s room before I adjust myself and take myself to my room to have a cold shower and spend some time with my hand.

The shower is pounding down my back, one hand on the shower wall anchoring me in place as I come hard to memories of my one night with Bren. It’s as I’m washing my cum down the drain that I realise there had been lots of room between me and the doorjamb. Bren had purposely brushed up against me.

I’m smiling when I get out of the shower. For the first time in months, I’m feeling optimistic.