Page 47 of Breakaway Goals

Hayes took a deep breath. He wasn’t naive enough to think Zach would be happy about this, but he needed to tell him. Zach was not only his best friend, but he would tell him the truth. About his joy, and about his fear.

“I saw Morgan last night. We uh . . .talked. A lot. Then we um—”

“You slept with him,” Zach said, sounding incredibly non-judgmental. There was a reason he’d always loved Zachy so much.

“Yeah. But—”

Zach interrupted again. “It’s okay. I’m not surprised.”

“What?” Maybe Zach wasn’t all that shocked it had happened, but Hayes couldn’t parse his reaction.

“You were back in his orbit. He was back in yours. It was bound to happen.”

“Sort of inevitable, honestly.” This was a comment provided by a second, deeper voice. Gavin. “Was he at least not an asshole about it?”

“Not at all, in fact.” It was ridiculous to be afraid of Morgan and the chaos he could bring to Hayes’ life and also feel compelled to defend him to Zach and Gavin.

“Well, that’s something,” Zach said wryly.

There was rustling, and then Gavin asked, “What happened?”

“Well, uh, like I said he came over. Most of the team came over, actually. Earlier game, and the win streak and all. But Finn brought him. Jacob’s out of town.”

“Yeah, we had dinner with him last night,” Zach said. “He flew up to Portland from LA, before he heads back to Florida.”

“So, Morgan came over. Ended up the last one here.”

“Accidentally,” Zach said, and Hayes could hear the impossible-to-see air quotes he was absolutely making.

“Hey, he was helping clean up. Being not an asshole,” Hayes retorted mildly. “Then um, one thing led to another and . . .well, you get the picture.”

“So just sex, then.” Zach sighed heavily. And there was the fucking judgment.

“It wasn’t just sex. It’s . . .he told me he loved me. And you know I love him.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. “Seriously?” Zach sounded shocked.

“We cleared the air, too. We didn’t just fuck,” Hayes said and couldn’t deny just how defensive he sounded. “I wouldn’t have done that. Not again.”

“Okay,” Zach said. “So you talked.”

“We’re uh . . .well, we’re doing something tomorrow night.

A date?” Hayes realized that Morgan had not defined it, but it had to be, right?

They weren’t having sex. So what were they going to do?

Sit around and talk . Suddenly, Hayes’ breath went short with panic.

To distract himself, he added, “And, and , he’s decided we can’t have sex, so I’ll believe him that he’s not just around to hit it and quit it. ”

“Do people even say that anymore?” Zach wondered skeptically.

Hayes was pretty sure he heard Gavin murmur something like, what’s wrong with that? Zach laughed, and then Gavin did too, teasing and full of joy.

Before this morning, even inadvertently overhearing that exchange would have filled Hayes with a bitter regret he’d swallow down because it wasn’t Zach’s fault he was in love with someone who didn’t want him. Who didn’t love him back.

But Morgan did . He’d said it, earnestly and with feeling, more than once. Even if Hayes was understandably nervous, that didn’t change the fact it had happened.

“Regardless,” Hayes said confidently. “It’s not just sex. It’s not really sex at all.” It was hard to be optimistic about that, but somehow even not having sex with Morgan was better than not having Morgan at all.

He could imagine Zach telling him that he was pathetic.

It was not a hardship to omit that particular thought process. Zach didn’t need to know everything .

“It’s weird you sound so happy about that,” Zach said suspiciously. “Was it bad?”

Of course Zach had figured out how weird that was without even being told.

“No! Of course not,” Hayes squawked.

“We believe you,” Gavin said dryly.

“It’s a commitment ,” Hayes said with pride.

“And he’s taking you out? Wow. Maybe he really has turned over that asshole leaf for good.”

“He’s been pretty good with Finn, too,” Hayes said.

Morgan had always been tough—on others, sure, but mostly on himself.

Unrelenting, even, and nobody had ever really understood how so much of that “asshole” behavior sprang from that drive.

But then, they’d never understood, either, what the pressure of being drafted first overall was like.

Almost nobody understood, but Hayes always had.

“He’s not as bad as you always make him out to be,” Hayes said.

Zach sighed. Or maybe that was Gavin. Or both of them, actually. “No, he’s absolutely as bad as we make him out to be. Everyone knows it. You just like him for all the reasons everyone else doesn’t.”

Hayes wasn’t sure that was true, but he wasn’t sure it was not true, either.

“We understand each other,” Hayes said quietly.

“Right. So you’re going out on a date, and not sleeping together?”

“Yep.” But Morgan hadn’t called it a date. Hadn’t said anything about what it was, only that it was happening.

Maybe he’d just go over to Morgan’s soulless rental house or he’d come back over to Hayes’ and then they’d what?

Hayes tried not to panic and failed. They’d only ever done sex and hockey.

He imagined them putting a game on and breaking down the play like the Sentinels were facing off against one of the teams next week.

“You’re freaking out, now,” Zach said knowingly.

“Shut up, no, I am not,” Hayes argued, even though he totally was.

They couldn’t even Netflix and chill, because the chill part was officially off the table.

“A little,” Zach insisted. “At least admit that.”

“Fine, a little. What are we even going to do?”

“Guess he’s going to have to figure that out.”

“Guess so,” Hayes said.

He supposed Morgan could take him out, but Hayes was out of the closet and Morgan was not—and he couldn’t imagine him wanting to do that anytime soon.

Hayes couldn’t even be mad about it. He got it.

Legacy was everything to Morgan, and while he’d been ready to tell the truth—hadn’t wanted to continue living a lie, anyway—would Morgan want that asterisk next to his name, forever? Hayes wasn’t sure.

So they wouldn’t be going out.

Maybe with anyone else, Hayes wouldn’t have liked that, might have even resented it, but maybe Zach was right, and he was easy for Morgan. Always had been, really.

“Keep me updated,” Zach said. “And Monty?”

“Yeah?” Hayes pushed the rest of his eggs around his plate, appetite dwindling.

He didn’t want to text Morgan—he’d just left—and demand to know what they were doing tomorrow night, but it was the first test, wasn’t it?

And he was suddenly afraid, like before, that they wouldn’t even pass this one. Wouldn’t even make it out of the gate.

“I’m really happy for you. And you know what else?” Zach’s voice was soft.

“What?”

“You should be happy for you, too. Don’t freak out. Don’t flush this down the drain before it even starts.”

“I wasn’t—”

“You were freaking out.”

“It’s kind of a lot,” Hayes argued.

“Yeah, it is. But it’s a good kind of a lot. Maybe it’s not perfect, right away. But you said it yourself, you love him, and he loves you. I think that kind of love deserves a little patience and understanding, don’t you?”

Hayes hadn’t thought about it that way. Had been so uber-focused on getting it right, immediately. But maybe Zach was right.

“Did you and Gavin?”

Zach laughed. “Fuck no. We’re still figuring it out. As long as you don’t shut down or shut him out, you will too.”