Page 17 of Brandishing Betrayals (Devil’s Psychos MC #2)

Jason

M y whole body ached, even almost a week after my beating. Marcos had done a number on me and I had deserved every punch.

I fucked up.

I fucked up bad.

Shit with Maya might not have been great before, but fuck. I never wanted to hurt her. That wasn’t me. The fear in her eyes would haunt me forever. Even now, the thought of it drove me out of bed.

Unable to sleep, I tossed the blankets off me and reached for my jeans on the floor next to the bed.

I pulled them over my naked cock and carefully zipped up, before I headed for the door of my dorm style room at the clubhouse.

Ever since Maya had left us ten years ago, we had gone our separate ways, no longer living together.

It was too painful a reminder of what we had lost.

And we never shared another woman.

Our lives had been utterly destroyed when Maya left us, and seeing her now, hearing her say it, it still fucking tore my heart out. I felt like shit for choking her, but hearing her say those words in my mind on repeat, only made me want to choke her again. I left you on purpose.

It was bullshit.

Dagger wasn’t talking to me, and Marcos, man. I hadn’t even seen Marcos in the last week. As president of our club, he had to be present, and he must’ve been, because no one else said anything. But I hadn’t seen him.

I stumbled down the hallway barefoot, heading for the fridge behind the bar in the main room. The room was mostly empty at four a.m., the party having died down around two.

I grabbed a beer and turned to survey room.

The lights were dimmed low, but I could still make out the sprawled and passed out bodies that littered the floor—brothers who hadn’t made it to their own dorms, or hanger-on’s that crashed on the floor or couches instead of driving home.

There were a couple half naked women on or under the men as well.

It was the typical scene of early Saturday morning at the clubhouse.

What wasn’t typical, was the bright light emanating from president’s office down the hall from the barroom. I scratched my brow with my middle finger before I took a sip of the Coors. I grabbed another beer from the fridge and headed toward the light.

I rolled my eyes at the stupid pun in my head.

The light on in the office could only mean one thing: Marcos was in the building and didn’t want to be seen.

Well fuck that. I had shit on my mind I needed to say, and Marcos was just the one I needed to hear it.

My bare feet slapped on the polished concrete floor as I walked down the hall. The office door was half closed, so I pushed it open as I stepped inside.

Seated behind the desk, Marcos had his head down as he poured over the stacks of papers in front of him. In the six months since Buckley’s death, Marcos had pulled the club from the brink of death and bankruptcy, saving us, but we were still scraping by.

I saw how it weighed on my brother. The stress he carried as president was hard. But add in the stress of trying to form a relationship with a son he hadn’t known about, and the tense relationship with our ex… it was a lot for any man to handle.

Marcos never complained about it, though. He never bitched and moaned, he just shouldered it all, so others didn’t have to, and pulled us out of the bullshit Buckley had sunk us into with Las Serpientes.

The fucking snakes were circling, demanding payment for Buckley’s death. Buckley apparently still owed them money for the death of the Ravager Knights MC President Mac ‘King’ Taylor—money the club didn’t have.

I knocked on the doorframe of the office, waiting for Marcos to acknowledge me before I walked into the lion’s den.

“Yeah,” Marcos grunted before he glanced at the door. His face was unreadable, so I couldn’t tell if he was surprised to see me or not.

“Hey,” I said, stepping into the office and closing the door behind me.

Marcos looked over my bruised face before he turned back to the papers in front of him. “What do you want?”

I ground my teeth as to not lash out at my brother’s gruff attitude. “To apologize.”

“I’m not the one you owe an apology to,” Marcos shot back immediately.

Again, I gritted my teeth. I may owe Maya an apology, but I doubted she’d let me anywhere near her any time soon to deliver it.

And I wasn’t ready to face her yet. I moved further into the office and set both beers down the desk between us.

I took a seat in chair in front of the desk.

“She’s the mother of your child, I’m sorry I hurt her, man,” I apologized, despite the fact that Marcos didn’t want to hear it.

Marcos shook his head and let out a low sardonic chuckle.

“You know what I don’t get?” he finally said, looking up to meet my gaze.

“How you—the man who used to be so fucking obsessed with her back then that you would borderline stalk her—could hate her so much now, that you almost fucking killed her?” The anger radiated off Marcos in waves.

I gritted my teeth again and forced myself to relax. I couldn’t explain my irrational rage when it came to her. “She fucking left us,” I ground out.

Marcos nodded. “Yeah bro, she did. I’m not saying you have to be in a fucking relationship with her, or even be nice to her. But don’t fucking try to kill her!”

I looked away, gritting my teeth. I fucked up, I knew that already.

“Dude, Maya is not your mother,” Marcos said.

I snapped my gaze back to my brother and glared. “Don’t.”

“No, you fucking don’t. This bullshit you have with Maya is the same. You think she fucking abandoned you. She might have left us, but she came back, and she would never abandon her child. She’s not your mother.”

“And you’re okay with her walking out on you? Not telling you, you had a kid?” I snapped, getting pissed off.

“Of course not,” Marcos shook his head. “I won’t deny that she broke my fucking heart, and that some days I can’t even fucking look at her. But she’s a damn good mother, and will do anything for him. And she’s done a damn good job of raising him so far on her own.”

I sighed and looked down at my bare feet, before I reached for my beer on the desk. I pushed the unopened one toward Marcos. “I’m sorry. I’ll apologize to her and figure out how to curb my anger.”

Marcos reached for the beer and popped the can open. He took a long sip as he leaned back in the chair. He ran a hand over his chin thoughtfully, “I think Dagger’s right about her. Something’s not adding up.”

“Come on, man,” I said shaking my head, not wanting to hear it for the hundredth time. Dagger was bad enough, but now Marcos?

“You didn’t see her,” Marcos snapped. “Monday, I went over to Dagger’s.

He had convinced her to call into work, to heal,” Marcos glared at me.

“She was sleeping when I got there. So I hung out for a while. Seeing her go from unguarded to instantly on the defense when she saw me…” he shook head and looked away. “I think she’s hiding something.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she was hiding something, she was a fucking liar, I thought. “Like what?” I humored my brother.

Marcos shook his head again. “I don’t know, man.

I talked to Nic yesterday. He said before she left his place, she apologized for leaving us, for hurting us.

When Nic asked her if she could just explain why she had done it, she started sobbing.

She said she couldn’t tell him, and became inconsolable the harder he pressed. ”

I narrowed my gaze on my buddy. Marcos clearly believed whatever happened was a breakthrough into the inner workings of her mind, but I didn’t see things like that.

In fact, I thought it was a convenient way for her to get Dagger to stop asking questions.

She knew how easy it was to manipulate Dagger’s feelings; she knew Dagger would stop at the first sight of a tear in her caramel eyes.

It was a little too easy for my liking. I kept it to myself though.

I knew my buddies were looking for any hint or sign or reasoning for her ghosting us back then.

I was pretty sure we weren’t going to get the truth out of her, though. Maybe it was time to do our own investigation into her.

“I met with Johnny and his boys this week. I’ve got a couple jobs I’m gonna bring to the table tomorrow, drug running, security, things like that.”

I nodded, accepting the change of subject.

“Nic is meeting with his cousin tomorrow,” Marcos said, dropping an anvil like it weighed nothing.

“What the fuck, dude?” I growled, leaning forward as if that would help me hear better.

Marcos nodded solemnly, taking a sip of beer before he responded. “Las Serpientes are pressing in hard, even the Knights are feeling the squeeze. Shit’s about to pop off, and we are not in any kind of position to defend ourselves, even with the help of the Knights. We need help.”

“And the fucking Mafia is who were asking for help from?” I growled, getting to my feet. “How the fuck could you make him call them?”

“I didn’t,” Marcos shook his head, not even rising to the bait. “Nico offered. Leo and him are working through shit.”

“And what the fuck will Nic owe the Seratelli’s after this? What’s the fucking cost?” I snapped, pacing behind the two chairs set before the president’s desk.

“We’ll find that tomorrow I assume. Or is it today? Fuck,” Marcos groaned and rubbed his temples.

“He’s going today? Fuck. Are we going with him?” I asked.

Marcos shook his head. “No. He’s on his own. I’m picking up Luke from the pool this afternoon and he’s spending the night at my place tonight.”

I stopped pacing, “Your first overnight?”

“Yeah.” Marcos sighed, rubbing his hand over his buzzed hair.

“Damn bro, congrats,” I said, truly happy for my brother.

Marcos shook his head. “I haven’t seen Luke all week. I’ve given Maya space since last weekend. The sleep over was her idea.”

Rage roiled in my gut. “You should be able to see Luke whenever you want to.”

“Bro, you need to lay off. I have been seeing Luke whenever I want. You heard him at dinner; he’s missing his friends.

And I wasn’t the one that fucking choked the shit out of Maya.

Yeah, I gave her some fucking space this week and Dagger’s been checking in with her daily.

You really fucking hurt her bro. She had to take time off work, time she doesn’t fucking have, because she’s new on the job.

She’s stressing about when school starts and Luke gets his usual back to school cold, who’s going to take care of him.

She’s got a million appointments to take her parents to, she can’t afford to take time off. ”

Guilt stabbed at me again. I shoved my fingers through my messy blond hair and pulled. My fucked up was pretty epic this time.

“You don’t seem to get it, brother,” Marcos said as he stood up. “My name isn’t on the birth certificate. I can’t sue for custody. No judge in their right mind would grant me any kind of rights based on my felony record, let alone my current title of president of a criminal organization.”

I scoffed, I hated that affiliation when anyone thought of the MC, regardless if it was true or not. I opened my mouth to argue my point, but quickly shut it when I saw the look on Marcos’s face. “You shouldn’t have to live in fear of her taking him from you.”

“I wasn’t afraid of that, until you fucking hurt her!

” Marcos exploded rounding the desk and stomping toward me.

He got right in my face as he spoke. “She’s made it pretty fucking clear, that she’ll do whatever is in Luke’s best interest, and if she thinks in its Luke best interest to stay the fuck away from us?

From me? You better believe I’m gonna beat your fucking ass again.

I’m fucking serious, brother. Stay the fuck away from her.

And if you do run into her, you keep your damn mouth shut. ”

“Alright,” I agreed immediately. “Fuck.”

Marcos shook his head and turned away; he grabbed his beer off the desk chugged it back.

“For what it’s worth man, I am sorry. I’ve been making myself sick over hurting her,” I admitted, my voice low.

“Yeah. Me too,” Marcos mumbled.