Page 19 of Branches of the Willow (The Ancients #3)

18

The Birth

W hen we returned to the pack, I was immediately swept into the makeshift birthing suite the women had made from one of the offices in the meeting hall. My mother and Ashley were there, coaching Tatianna on. Evan was there, because Tatianna was, unfortunately, one of the women who didn’t understand a lot of English. He was translating, but he was so out of his element that it was almost comical seeing him there. “Oh, thank God. Mikael can switch places with me.” He said to me.

“No can do. Mikael had to go have a conversation with my father. You’re stuck.” I laughed as Evan raked his hand across his clean-shaven jaw.

“This is not my life right now.” He mumbled, but his attitude changed a bit when Natalia came back into the room with a cool compress to put on Tatiana’s head.

She smiled slyly at him and winked. “You can go now, big baby. I can translate fairly well.” Her accent was thick, but her words were understandable. Evan leaned over and kissed her on her cheek. “Thank you!” He managed to get out, before he accidentally caught a peek of Tatianna’s spread legs. “Oh God! I did not just see that.” He whispered. I laughed and pushed him toward the door. He hurried away, comically fast, as if he feared he would be called back again before he could get out the door.

“Men!” My mother howled in between her laughter.

“Where is Sierra?” Ashley asked. As if on cue, Sierra burst into the room with some fresh blankets and towels.

“Sorry, they weren’t quite dry, and I had to run them through again. I didn’t think the baby would appreciate a damp blanket.”

Tatianna screamed, shouting what I was sure were obscenities in another language. My thoughts were confirmed when Natalia looked at me, eyes large, “No need to translate that.” Ashley moved Sierra out of the way and stuck her gloved hand down between Tatianna’s legs, and her other hand was up on her belly. “Okay, we’re ready here, she’s fully dilated, and her water’s just broken. I’m going to need a little room. Natalia, tell her with the next contraction, or wave of pain, she is going to push forward with all her might and squeeze down on those lower abdominal muscles, almost like she’s pushing out a bowel movement.”

Natalia’s nose crinkled, but she dutifully repeated the instructions in Romanian, and went to Tatianna’s side to hold her hand. As another contraction hit the woman, she pushed her upper torso forward, screaming the whole time, and from the look on Natalia’s face, she had quite the grip too. From my vantage point, I could see what was going on in the woman’s nether region, and as she began to push for the fourth time, I saw the top of a dark, hairy head peek out. “The baby’s crowning,” Ashley called out. “That’s it. Tell her to keep it up.” Ashley looked worried for a minute as Tatianna relaxed back down, and then she looked up at Natalia. “Tell her to get ready to push once more but be prepared to stop immediately if I say so.”

Natalia nodded her understanding, and then relayed the translation. “Okay, push.” I watched as Natalia helped the exhausted Tatianna surge forward once more, but then there was a gush of red. The baby came forward a little more, head popping free, but something didn’t seem right. There was too much blood. “Quickly, one more time. Push.” Ashley stepped into the way, so I no longer had a view of what was happening. I don’t think I’ve ever been more thankful in my life. I’m not sure how much more time elapsed, because my ears were ringing, and I felt dangerously like I was going to pass out. Odd, because a little blood had never bothered me before. Then again, I never had to worry before about that being me on the cot a few months from now. Suddenly, it was all I could think about.

Then I heard it, that sweet, shrill cry of a baby who finally got air to its lungs. “It’s a boy!” My mother called out. Tatianna dropped her had back onto the cot and refused to look at the squalling child. My heart broke for both of them in that moment. We female werewolves only had so many child birthing years available to us, the fact that this woman had a full year taken from her for a child she wouldn’t keep, must have been just as painful as her decision not to keep him. She still hadn’t told us how long she had been in the King’s harem, so there was no telling how many more years she would have.

Something else occurred to me then. I thought back to the strong likeness Malachi had to his brother, Evan, and wondered if the baby boy would end up looking like them too. I imagine that would be devastating for the woman to have to raise a male who looked just like his father, the man who had held her prisoner and raped her. In that, part of me understood her decision.

“Eileen, I’m going to need you and Sierra to take care of the baby, I need to help Tatianna out here for a minute.” Ashley sounded calm. I’m sure to everyone else, that was a good thing, but it alerted me that something wasn’t quite right.

“Ash?” I called out.

“Oh, good, you’re still here.” Ashley waved me forward. “I’m going to pop a few stitches in place really quick, but then I need you to make her shift. You can do that right?”

I nodded my head at my best friend. “I’ve never actually forced a shift on anyone before, but I’m sure I can.”

“Well, I need you to make this one count and the sooner the better.” She glanced up at me quickly before going back to what she was doing. Ashley, not joking around, was a force to be reckoned with. I had everyone clear the room and get the baby out. A wounded wolf could strike out at anyone, and I didn’t want to take the chances of that happening. “Okay, now.” Ashley called out to me, as she quickly stepped back out of the way.

“Shift,” I called out to her, putting power behind the word. At first nothing happened. Then I remembered, “Shit, she doesn’t speak English.” Ashley ran to the door, and thankfully Natalia was still close by, along with Evan who had been waiting outside the door.

“Quick, what’s the word for shift in Romanian?”

“Schimbare.” Evan and Natalia offered in unison. I heard them, so I didn’t have to wait for Ashley to relay the word.

“Schimbare.” I commanded her with all the power I could possibly throw into the word, and before my eyes the woman morphed from human to wolf in a beautifully seamless display of magic. In place of the devastated, human-looking woman was a russet-colored wolf with dark brown spots across half her back. She was a bit skittish, and I wish I had picked up more Romanian from being around the DéLune brothers, but I hadn’t. “Shh,” I began talking to her. “It’s okay.” Tatianna’s wolf bared her teeth and looked ready to bolt or do damage. I did the only thing I knew to and commanded her to shift back. “Schimbare.”

With that one word, and the power behind it, the wolf again shifted in a fluid transition to the form of a woman. “Okay, let me check her out now.” Ashley muscled her way by me and put her nursing degree to good use. “Perfect, it sealed everything up nicely. She should actually be able to carry another baby down the road if she finds a mate.” Ashley called out to me over her shoulder.

“Perfect.” I said as I took another step back. “Ash, do you need me for anything else?”

“No, hon. Can you send Sierra and Natalia back in though? Maybe tell your mom to stand by with the baby too just in case she’s changed her mind.”

“No baby.” Tatianna whispered. Apparently, she understood enough.

“I’ll let them all know.”

When I made it outside, Mikael had just walked up too and was standing there with his brother. Both had their eyes on Sierra as she rocked the baby boy side to side in her arms. She hummed as she did it and looked as though she were the proud new mom. An idea was born then, as I watched what felt like the natural order of things taking place. It felt right to my wolf, and that was good enough for me. There were just two other people to convince first. I pulled Mikael and Evan aside, far enough away from the others who were cooing over the baby so that I would not be overheard.

“He is your nephew,” I reminded them. Both men seemed to startle at that admission, as if neither of them had really given it much consideration before now. “He is a DéLune, no matter how that happened.”

I could almost feel the air change as the breath was sort of punched out of Evan’s lungs. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I guess, in my mind, I’d forgotten what a horrible piece of shit our brother had become.”

“Jess, I’m sure you had a point in reminding us,” Mikael insisted, as if waiting for me to finish.

“We have a baby of our own on the way. I would take the little one, if we need to, but we have so much work to do already.” I turned to Evan then. “You are a single, male, werewolf. You have a woman who you are going to start a relationship with soon, and travels that are still calling to you.” Evan and Mikael were both smiling at me as I spoke. I think they both saw through what I was about to ask of them.

“Sierra had her chance at being a mother taken from her because we didn’t have a proper healer with the pack. The bullet she took as a result of that accident had most likely been aimed for me. Then she lost her true mate.” I had to fight to keep the tears from spilling free of my eyes as my whole body shook with the rightness of what I was asking. “Can we give her this one bit of happiness? Please? The baby will be here, within my father’s pack. You will both be able to be the uncles that he deserves while Sierra will have a child to call her own.”

“Jess,” Mikael pulled me into his chest as I lost the battle with the tears and they spilled freely down my face. He kissed the top of my head lightly before he pulled me back and used his thumbs to swipe away the rogue tears.

“Of course, it’s the right thing to do for both of them,” Mikael told me as he kissed my cheeks and then my lips. Evan stood, watching, not an ounce of jealousy in his eyes as he smiled over at me too.

“My brother has spoken, and it just so happens that I agree with him. You can tell her now, if you’d like, or we can wait a bit. The choice is yours. You are the ruler of your people, after all.”

I glanced back at the building where the baby’s mother still rested after her ordeal of giving birth. “I think we’ll wait just a little while, to be sure, but thank you both for agreeing with me.”

“You never have to thank us for doing the right thing, Jess,” Evan told me as he leaned in and kissed my cheek as well. Then he walked past us to go stand beside the woman I knew was destined to be his.

Over the next two weeks, Mikael and I kept mostly to ourselves, trying to relax a bit, before the bottom dropped out again. Maybe, it was just me thinking like that, but I’d come to equate happiness with impending doom. This was exactly why I had wanted to get that degree in psychology. I wanted to help all the other freaked out werewolves, who had issues like I did. Our life was one filled with amazingly magical abilities, and a lifespan most humans would kill to possess, but it wasn’t without its down sides too. Just like humans, we could be cruel to one another.

“I think we should go check on Sierra and the baby today. She’s growing quite attached to him.” I smiled thinking about how amazing it would have been to see Jack there, holding a baby with Sierra. It was something they had both wanted and sacrificed in order to be with one another. For her, because the accident left her with little choice; and for him because he couldn’t live without her. I had envied that kind of love.

“I will take you over there, if you want to go.” Mikael had walked up and wrapped his arms around me until his hands came to rest on the middle of my belly. I wonder if people envied mine and Mikael’s love the way I used to wish for Jack and Sierra’s. I leaned back into his chest and looked up at the blissful smile on Mikael’s face. It didn’t matter then, if anyone wanted a love like ours. The truth was, I couldn’t live without it now. I couldn’t live without him, and soon we were going to have a little extra person added to the mix. That was the truly incredible part.

“Can I admit something to you, and not have you laugh at me?”

“No promises, but I’ll try.”

“After seeing what Tatianna went through, I’m scared to death to have this baby.” I shivered a little under the weight of the admission.

“You’re not alone there. I can’t wait to hold him one day, but I worry about losing you in the process.”

“Her,” I said with absolute confidence.

“What? You’re so confident?”

“Yes, because that’s the way with the white wolves.” I turned in his arms to face him then. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give you a boy.”

“That’s okay, Jess.” He smiled down at me and nipped at my nose the way he always did. “I have you, and a daughter of yours will be an absolute treasure.”

My heart melted. “Ours,” I corrected him. “Daughter of ours.”

“You are so very right.” He leaned in again, and this time instead of a playful nip to the nose, Mikael kissed me. At first, it was a gentle brushing of his lips to mine, a caressing of his hand down my back, and then before I knew it, he was lifting me up and carrying me up the stairs and to our room.

A few hours later, when I was getting dressed, Sierra called me. She was a little panicked about the baby, and a conversation she had with Tatianna. At first, I thought maybe Tatianna had come to her senses and wanted the baby back, but it didn’t sound like that was the case. I convinced Mikael we needed to go over to the pack lands and check on everyone, after all. It was what I had planned to do earlier in the day before he distracted me with his gloriously hard body.

“You’re staring.” Mikael grinned as he said it.

“You’re still naked.” I countered.

“I’m looking for my pants.”

“They’re over by the windowsill, where I threw them.” His face lit up, the smile causing tiny lines to crinkle around the corner of his eyes, and his dimples became more prominent. He turned his back to me then, to go fetch his pants, and in a moment of weakness, I almost said to hell with everyone else and gave into my insatiable pregnancy hormones. But, before I could put thought to action, he slid those pants up his muscular thighs in one fluidly graceful move. “Damn,” I whispered. “I hate being responsible some days.”

“Don’t worry, you can be as irresponsible with me as you want to, later.” He crawled across the bed, stalking me like he was a cat instead of a wolf. Then he pounced and buried his face in the crook of my neck, nibbling there and pushing the neck of my shirt down with his face so he could continue nibbling across my shoulder too. “You better go, get downstairs while I finish up in here. If you keep following my movements with those hungry, emerald eyes of yours, I will not be able to keep my promises about you being responsible.”

I shivered. Mikael watching me, scenting me, and touching me was a distraction I would almost give up being the white wolf for. He was my forever though and knew exactly how to handle me in times like these. Mikael hopped off the bed, probably to save me from myself. Once I had some breathing room, actual thoughts started circulating again, and I decided that he had a point. I went downstairs and waited for him to finish getting ready.

When we finally showed up at Sierra’s new cottage, she was feeding the baby, and a teary-eyed Natalia was with her. “What’s the matter?” I asked as Mikael and I made our way into the house.

“Tatianna is gone. She came to see me and brought Natalia so that she could translate.” Sierra took the now empty bottle away from the baby’s mouth, and gently held him up on her shoulder, patting his back, trying to help him expel any extra gas.

“Tatianna said to tell her that he’ll always be a symbol of what was done to her, and if he looks like his father it will be a constant pain in her heart.” Natalia explained. “I tried to stop her from leaving, but she said she wouldn’t be forced to do this too.”

“I would never have forced the baby on her.” The words made their way from my mouth in barely a whisper. “If I had gotten here earlier, maybe I could have convinced her to stay.”

“No,” Natalia said without hesitation. “She would go anyway. Tatianna’s heart hurt. She wanted to not see the baby anymore. It was best, for her.” She swiped at a tear that started a trail down her cheek. “I am missing her.”

I hugged the woman, who I was only just now starting to get to know. Evan had brought her to the house a couple times while Mikael and I were taking a little time off. We had dinner together and watched a movie once. I didn’t know if Natalia and I would ever be close, but I offered the hug anyway, because she needed it.

“Jess?” Sierra got my attention as she laid the now sleeping baby boy down in the cradle by the sofa. “I want to keep him. I think maybe this is why I survived, when Jack, well, I think this is my purpose, because that sweet baby doesn’t have a mommy, and I couldn’t have a baby of my own.”

“Sierra, I think it would be the perfect situation for both of you.” I smiled, having anticipated this conversation already. I had already talked to both Evan and Mikael about the baby. Technically, he was their blood family. So, if they claimed him, either of them could take him from Sierra. They both understood the value of having a loving mother to raise a boy and had agreed that Sierra would be the perfect choice, since she would cherish every minute that she was given with him. “We’ll work everything out with my father and make it official as soon as possible. Have you decided on a name?”

Sierra’s face lit up then. “I’d like to call him Jack.”

“Of course, and I’m sure he’ll make the name proud one day.” I moved to go stand over them and look down on my nephew. “Hello, my little nephew, you have such a strong name. You also have the blessing of the white wolves, so I bet you’ll make us all proud one day,” I told him.

“Oh, Jess,” Sierra cried as she pulled the baby in closer, hugging him tightly to herself. “Thank you for that.” She glanced up at me, almost shyly then. “I think it just sunk in that he belongs, by blood, with Evan or Mikael,” she whispered.

I stroked my hand through her hair in a reassuring gesture. “They are both fine with this. They are and will remain his uncles. They will be there for you if you need anything for little Jack or yourself, but they have both given their blessing for this to happen.”

“Thank you. Thank them. I will thank them too, but please, let them know how much this means to me,” she whimpered as she leaned in and kissed my nephew’s perfect little head. Already, it was full of black hair, just like his father and uncle.

“Be blessed, Sierra. It seems your purpose found you, and he’s adorable,” I told her before I stood and moved to leave the cottage.

That night, I was pulled into the familiar cave of the white wolves. There before me was a beautiful willow sapling, where the last time only a little sprig of green had been. “Beautiful,” I said out loud.

“The willow is the symbol of our being. She symbolizes femininity, strength, and perseverance. As you know, these are all attributes of a white wolf.”

“I don’t feel like I’ve been very strong lately.”

“No?” The voices questioned.

“I was taken. I couldn’t escape on my own. I had to have too many other people to lean on in order to get through it.”

The constant shifting of previous white wolves stopped, and Aislynn stood before me, no longer on the dais, but toe to toe with me like an equal. “Your strength is not something you have to muscle about in front of others to show off its prowess. You were taken, yes. But you came through it, still able to smile. You needed help to escape, true. But you were able to use what happened to you in order to show compassion for the other women who were held captive. It is true that you needed to rely on others to help heal your soul. Strength isn’t always an individual thing though, dear one.

“Think of it as a building that reaches up and touches the sky. That building may stand tall and proud, but in the beginning it was built on a much wider base. It relies on that base to keep its height aloft. One works, because the other exists. There are many beams that make the whole and keep it together. Without one, the others might take on too much and crumble under the weight. Knowing when to seek what you need from others is strength. It takes courage to admit you hurt. It takes strength to heal despite that hurt. You have proven yourself time and again to your people. When is it going to be enough for you ?”

She turned, admiring the little sapling as a tiny branch reached out to touch the earth beneath it. “Each branch of the willow is a part of the whole, adding to its strength. The same can be said for each person in your life, Jessica. They are all branches of the willow, pieces of your strength, there to help you when you need it. Each part must rely on the other to survive. It’s the lesson each of us must learn in time. We are not the leaders of our people; we are the unifiers. The white wolf is here to bring together all that has been lost, to cultivate the branches until they can protect the roots.

I leaned down, reaching out to touch the fragile branch on the tiny sapling. “I understand.” I managed to choke out through the emotion that now settled heavy on my chest. “I understand,” I repeated, because the second time, I actually believed the words.

When I awoke, it was to Mikael’s face smiling down from beside me. “Good morning, beautiful.” I moved to trace my hand across his jawline. I’m not sure what he saw when he looked at me, but when I gazed into his eyes, what I saw took my breath away. “You were smiling, in your sleep. It was the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen on your face.” He whispered to me. “I wondered what you were thinking about.”

“I was thinking about our daughter’s name.”

“Oh?”

“Willow.”

Mikael was thoughtful for a moment. Before he could say anything, I started to explain to him what Aislynn said to me in my dream, and he leaned in to place a gentle kiss upon my lips. “Then it’s perfect.”