Page 11 of Branches of the Willow (The Ancients #3)

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“J essica, you need to wake up now.” I heard the feminine voice calling to me, but it took a while to peel my eyelids open. Everything was still so dry and scratchy. “I need you to wake up so I can get some water in you, you’re very dehydrated, sweetheart.”

“Where…” My voice was still too scratchy to use, but I finally got a look around. I was in my bed. I was home. “How?” I managed to scratch out.

“I brought you here. I thought it would be an easier transition than dropping you off in the middle of the pack lands to face a million questions your voice isn’t capable of answering right now.” Serena’s crystal blue eyes stared back at me. “I would have come sooner, but I couldn’t convince that fool family of yours that I was there to help. I’m so sorry, Jessica.”

“Mikael?” Panic framed the name as it whispered past my lips, trailed almost immediately by a hoarse cough.

“He’s fine.”

“But…” I tried in vain to clear my throat. “Can’t shift.” Understanding swept over Serena’s features then.

“Ah, sweetheart, your bond is still intact. Your inability to shift is for an entirely different reason. Probably the same reason that saved you two from that accursed spell.”

I’m sure the look on my face at that point was question enough so I didn’t bother to ask out loud. Serena smiled at me and offered a cup with a straw. “Drink. I will explain everything.”

I took the cup into shaky hands and sipped a bit of the cool water. It was like a balm to my dried throat, even as the motion of sucking through a straw cracked my severely chapped lips further. I could feel a slick wetness at the top of the straw, and smell the coppery scent of my own blood, as the cracks became more irritated. Still, I drank because whatever was in the cup felt amazing on my throat.

“Before you were taken, was there a time when you and your mate were consumed with one another?” She watched me as my skin flamed, burning a nice rosy appearance into my otherwise pallid features. “That’s what I thought. It’s different for my children than for the other wolves. A white wolf can sometimes have multiple heat cycles in her first year of mating, if she does not have a successful mating on the first try, or the second.” Serena winked at me. “Apparently, you were successful the second time around.” My eyes grew wide in surprise as what Serena was telling me sank in. I made a motion with one hand that indicated an enlarged belly, and Serena laughed at me. “Yes, my dear, you are with child.”

A tear slid free from my eye and trailed down my face before falling to catch somewhere in my shirt. I wasn’t even sure how I possibly formed a tear as dry as I felt, but there it was. I took another sip of water at Serena’s prompting, and then another. It took a few minutes of processing before I attempted to speak again. “Are you sure?” I whispered out to her. My stomach rolled a little, leaving me with a queasy feeling.

“Let me,” Serena offered as she took the cup from me and sat it down on the nightstand beside the bed. “You are still weak, and while that is not your typical water, you still need time for your body to adjust to nutrients being introduced again.”

“Not typical?”

“It’s my own special brew. I figured, when I couldn’t reach you in your dreams, that my sister was drugging you with the Witch’s Sleep, it’s a powder we can use to knock one another out for a time.” Her nose wrinkled up then. “Most of us don’t dare use magic like that against another, but Sophia has not walked the path of most witches in a very long time.” She waved her hand, as if to brush away the memories of her sister and then her eyes once again focused back on me. “I had some brew made up before I went to retrieve you. It will replace all that you’ve lost in a much shorter amount of time, but your body has a bit more going on than I bargained for, so you’ll have to go slow, or you’ll get sick.”

I nodded my head in understanding. I still felt like I was in a haze. “You are my many times great grandmother.” It was a statement of fact, not a question. Every word also burned as I managed to get them out.

“I see, my sister told you then?” I nodded my head, and she continued. “I am, indeed. You are the first, since Aislynn, to know this. It’s been a burden to keep this secret from so many before you.”

“Is that why you were able to visit me in my dreams, like the white wolves do?”

“Yes. We are linked through blood and bond. While my mate was killed, our bond survived in my daughter, and through her line, all the way down to you.”

I heard a door open and slam shut from downstairs, then heavy steps running through the house. “I called your mate when we arrived, to let him know. He must have flown to get here this quickly.” Serena chuckled. “Not that I blame him.”

“I’m glad my sister told you about me, Jessica. Aislynn and I were forbidden long ago to reveal my link to the white wolves. Now, you may pass the knowledge along to the rest of the line.” She put her hand on my belly to emphasize that I would be able to pass it on sooner, rather than later.

“Don’t tell him yet.” I made the request, not knowing why in that moment. I just knew it was going to be a lot to handle having me back, all the questions, and I didn’t want to have an unexpected pregnancy caught up in the middle of all that. I wanted to wait to spread the news until we could celebrate it, and not have it be one more thing we almost lost. Sorrow swamped me for a moment as I realized that after all that had been done to me, we might not end up with anything to celebrate anyway. What if my child didn’t make it? It was a burden I would not give to Mikael after all he’d been through.

“That is your news to tell, when you’re ready,” Serena assured me. The bedroom door burst open then, and Serena removed her hand and stepped aside, out of the way of Mikael as he came rushing forward and roughly took me into his arms.

“Jessica!” My name was a prayer on his lips as he cried while holding onto me. His shoulders were shaking as he squeezed me far too tightly. A part of me didn’t care that he was a little rough, but the other part was starting to feel sick from being manhandled, and before I could move him back, I felt bile creeping up the back of my throat. Serena, thankfully, saw what was happening and snatched the trashcan up from across the room and brought it to me. “Oh my God, Jessica!” Mikael shouted as he moved over just in time to avoid the backsplash. I didn’t have a lot on my stomach, but what was there came up violently. “What’s wrong with her?” He was looking back and forth between Serena and me for answers.

“She has been through quite an ordeal with my sister. Let’s calm down, and do try to be gentle with her, Mikael. I realize you’re happy to have her back but squeezing her will not help her state right now.” Serena spoke in a low, calm voice, hoping that it would help ease Mikael’s tension, and make him more inclined to listen.

“I did this?” He asked, stunned. “I’m so sorry, love.” His voice had grown weaker. I finally managed to pull my head out of the trash can and look up at him.

“Sorry.” I whispered with my ragged voice. I watched as Mikael’s face contorted with the pain of hearing me sound so bad. “Too much water, too fast.” I tried to alleviate the guilt he had just heaped on himself by blaming it on that.

“She’s severely dehydrated. I was giving her a special brew to replenish the lost fluids quicker, but too much movement afterwards, sometimes results in sickness.” I gave Serena a weak smile for her efforts. My sickness had nothing to do with her brew and she knew it.

“I’ll be okay.” I rasped out.

“Your voice…” Mikael whispered, and then he reached forward, as if to touch my face, only to pull away again, afraid of hurting me. I moved, slowly, until I was right there next to him, and I put my head on his shoulder. His scent wrapped around me, filling my soul with calm, safety, and home. It was exactly what I needed.

“What happened?” He asked Serena, not me, as his hand came up to caress the side of my face, and gently push my hair back. “How the hell did you manage to find her when no one else could?”

Serena tipped her head to me. She wasn’t able to tell her secret, but I could. “Serena is my kin.” I said without hesitation.

“Your what?”

“She is the mother of the white wolves. Aislynn was her daughter, and we are all descended from her.” My vocal cords were still raw, so I leaned forward, looking for the drink Serena had set aside earlier.

“Here you are, dear.” Serena offered the cup to me after retrieving it. Mikael just looked from Serena to me and back again like we both had two heads.

“You’re serious?”

Serena nodded her agreement.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell us this a week ago? We could have had her out of there before any damage was done to her. Jesus, she can’t even speak right anymore.”

“She will heal.” Serena said simply.

“Serena couldn’t tell. She’s been under a spell since Aislynn came into her white wolf powers. She literally cannot speak of her past involving the white wolf line.”

“So, how do you know then?”

“Sophia told me. Serena was able to confirm after I already knew.”

“What a fucking circus.” Mikael huffed as he pushed his hair back off his face. “If we had known…”

“Don’t dwell in the past, your mate is here, and she will be fine after a little rest, food, and pampering.”

“She’ll get that in spades.” He told her, then he leaned down and kissed my head. “I’m so sorry, love. If we’d listened to Serena, she could have gotten to you sooner. I didn’t know. I thought it was just another trick.” The pain in his voice as he spoke, told me exactly how hard this week without me had been. We both had our own stories to tell about the week, but I wasn’t sure how much of my story I wanted to share. Instead, I scrunched myself down further, and put my head on the pillow. When my eyes were closed again, I knew I’d sleep for hours before I could pry them back open.

I woke up to what sounded like an argument. Hushed voices were locked in a back-and-forth battle of wills trying to out whisper-shout the other.

“She needs her rest!” Mikael was saying, but then two women’s voices started in on him at once.

“I just want to see that she’s okay.” It was my mother.

“She would want us to wake her up. Jesus, you can’t keep her all to yourself, Mikael.” Ashley was livid. That meant she was also back from her trip. I wonder if they cut their time there short because of me or if she would have been home anyway. Either way, I was happy to have her back, but unsure if I would be able to handle visitors and all the questions that they would inevitably ask me.

I heard Mikael growl. “I’m telling you now, Ashley, back off. We don’t even know what all she went through while she was held by Sophia. I can tell you she looks like hell. Her weight dropped, and she was so dehydrated even her damn skin was cracked everywhere. According to Serena this is the first sleep she’s gotten that hasn’t been drug induced since she was taken, and I’m not about to have you wake her up.” His voice was much louder than a whisper now.

“Ashley, he’s not wrong.” Asi added in that peacekeeper way of his.

“Oh, no! You don’t get to pick the wrong side!” Ashley spit back at him. “She is my best friend. My sister. I’ve been worried sick, and I want to see for myself that she’s okay.”

“And you will,” Asi agreed, but then added, “when she wakes up.” I heard Ashley’s frustrated growl before her tiny little feet stomped off down the hallway.

“Thanks, man.” Mikael offered weakly.

“Don’t thank me. You just made an enemy there.” I heard Asi’s footfalls as he most likely went in search of Ashley.

“I understand all this, but really, Mikael, you will let me at least see that she’s there.” My mother pleaded with him. Her voice was so strained and desperate that I wished I could get up and go to her on my own. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel well enough to do that.

“Fine.” I heard the door crack open. My eyes were still shut, and I was still half asleep, and not sure I had the strength to even crack my lids, let alone let them know I was good enough for visitors. As much as I missed my parents and Ashley, I was too tired to care about seeing them right now. My body needed rest, and not just for my own sake anymore. I had a baby to think about now too. At least, I hoped that I’d have a baby to think about. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, to learn that she had endured too much, and couldn’t withstand it. My heart ached with the thought.

I tried to swallow, and that sent my body into a dry-coughing fit that signaled to them that I was awake. That was all the invitation my mom needed to push past Mikael. “Oh, my baby girl,” My mom cooed before she turned to Mikael, “She needs a drink.”

“I’ll be right back.” Mikael took off running, I suppose to get something from the kitchen.

“Oh baby, look at you.” I watched my mom, now that my coughing had subsided, I could see the worry etched in the lines of her face. I wasn’t sure when my mom started to age, maybe it had something to do with people trying to kill her daughter every few months. I wanted to say something to reassure her that I was okay, but I worried that it would start up another coughing fit, and that just hurt like hell, so I didn’t want to chance it.

My mom reached up and smoothed my hair back from my face. Tears were shining in her eyes, but they were stubbornly refusing to fall free. “I worried. Oh, how I worried. I’m so glad you’re back.” I tried for a smile to reassure her, but I’m not certain how successful I was. Her face seemed more pained from my attempt.

“You’re awake!” An overly excited Ashley came bouncing into the room and slipped into bed on the other side of me. My mother seemed slightly annoyed, but she knew better than to get into it with Ashley. “What’s the matter, hon? Cat got your tongue?” She was still trying to be the same old bubbly Ashley, and I loved her for it, but if any of them heard me speak it would make things far worse. I just shook my head no. “Well, did you sleep well?” Ashley was discouraged by my lack of comment, but she continued to ask questions. I continued to shake my head ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

“Here you go, love.” Mikael came in with a glass of brew Serena must have left. Bless her heart, that is exactly what I needed. I looked up at him, hoping my eyes conveyed my thanks for me. He smiled down at me, as he moved in close enough to help me hold the glass. I’m glad he did, I wasn’t sure if I could muster the strength yet. My mom had politely slid back out of the way, but she hadn’t missed a thing. Understanding dawned on her face, as she realized Mikael hadn’t been exaggerating my condition.

“I guess those are the perks of kidnappings. You get your ass pampered afterward.” Ashley lilted out in her perpetually bubbly voice. My eyes darted over to her, and the smile died from her face. Ashley was a smart girl, and it just took a minute or two longer for reality to set in. “Shit. This isn’t pampering.” She looked between me and Mikael then, and settled her rage-filled eyes on him. “What the fuck did they do to her?”

“Ashley,” my mom called out, and stood up to walk around the bed to help my best friend out of my bedroom.

“What did they do?” I could hear the terror in her voice, and I wished I could comfort her then, and let her know that I would be okay soon, but I honestly wasn’t sure anymore. I didn’t feel this run down after I was shot and doused with wolves’ bane. Ashley didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was crying in my mom’s arms as they left. “What did they do to her?” She was asking my mom between hiccups.

“I don’t know. We just need to wait and let her tell us when she’s ready, sweetheart. Jess is strong, she’ll bounce back soon.

“I look that bad, huh?” I managed to squeak out to Mikael once I knew they were downstairs.

“You just look tired.” He pushed my hair back off my face as my mother had done moments ago. “Can I get you anything else? Serena said you may be stuck with just the brew until your throat heals a little bit. It’s too raw for food right now, but maybe a popsicle, or something?”

I smiled. “Later. Hold me?” I missed his scent. I felt safe with it wrapped around me.

“Of course, my love. Anything you need.”

I’m not sure if they were freaked out by my appearance when they had seen me, or if Mikael threatened everyone to keep them away, but that’s exactly what they did. I had the next three days to myself to recuperate with Mikael doing everything in his power to make sure I rested and got better. Serena popped in a few times too, checking on me, and dropping off some more of her brew. By the third day, I was rehydrated, and eating food again.

“Hey, Jess.” Mikael walked in the room sporting a big grin when he saw me coming from the shower with only a towel on.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing that can’t wait now!” He came over and picked me up, carried me to the bed, and started planting kisses all over me.

I giggled at his advances. “Mikael?” I questioned amidst the onslaught of kisses.

“Sorry. You just looked like you again. I couldn’t resist.” He sat up and moved back a little to watch me as I stood and got dressed. “You have a guest downstairs, several actually.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I told everyone you were doing much better. Maybe I shouldn’t have.” He looked worried for a minute.

“I’m fine. Besides, I need to get out of this room for a bit. I’m starting to go stir crazy.” I smiled, leaned down, and planted a kiss on his soft lips. Mikael had been shaving closely the past few days to remove any stubble. The first day, every time he tried to kiss me it hurt my chapped skin. He hadn’t shaved for the day yet, and I enjoyed seeing the stubble there on his face again. “Don’t shave today,” I said out loud. He only grinned in return.

“I knew you only loved me for my bad-boy look.” He winked as he said it.

“Damn straight!” I tried to add some excitement to my voice but received a quick reminder that I wasn’t used to using my vocal cords again. It came out a little shriller than I anticipated. Mikael winced at the sound as I sighed in defeat. “Well, I guess I’ll stick to monotones for a few more days.” Mikael had tried, several times to convince me to shift in order to speed up the healing process, and I couldn’t find a reason to tell him that it wouldn’t be possible without informing him about the baby. Serena was there the last time he asked me to just shift and heal. She explained to him that shifting would do no good because the damage was caused by a witch’s magic and could not be healed in the normal ways of our kind. I was so thankful to her for that, because as she had explained to me, I could most definitely heal quicker if I were able to shift, but my wolf’s priority would be with protecting my little one from any damage, and that included keeping me from shifting. Not that I would purposely try it, considering what might be at stake if I did.

“I’m tempted to bring Sophia back from the dead so I can have the satisfaction of killing her myself,” Mikael complained.

“Let’s not, please. Besides, I’m fairly sure that witches can only be killed by another witch anyway.” I finished dressing and slipped my feet into my shoes. “So, who’s here?”

“My brother, Asi, and Ashley.”

“Ash finally came back, huh?”

“Yeah. I don’t think she wanted to. She still feels bad about the other day.”

“She has nothing to feel bad about.” I stared at Mikael, wondering just how hard he had been on my friend, and he must have caught the accusation in my gaze.

“Hey, I tried telling her that.” He threw his hands up in the air. “All I wanted was for everyone to give you time. They didn’t understand how bad you were.”

“I know.” I leaned in for another quick kiss. Mikael’s arms wrapped around me, and I wasn’t sure I cared that we had visitors downstairs. I didn’t want to move away from him. “I love you,” I whispered against his lips. He nipped at my bottom lip in response.

“Come on.” He sighed heavily as he stood up from the bed, moving me away from it as he went. “Let’s go see everyone. I’ve apparently monopolized as much of your time as they’re all willing to allow.” It was humorous to see him mope about having to share me again. I kind of liked it though. Not that he felt that way, but that he cared enough to be bothered about having to lose time with me.

I just hit the bottom step when strong arms reached out and grabbed hold of me, pulling me so tight it almost hurt. “Jess!” I inhaled the familiar scent that clung to Evan. For once, I didn’t hear Mikael growling at him. He understood his brother’s emotion and backed off for a minute. It was nice to see that they had finally come to an understanding about things. “I’m so sorry. We tried to find you…” He spoke the words into my ear because he still hadn’t let go. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine.” I patted his back as a signal that he could let go now, but he continued holding on. “Um, Evan, I need to breathe.”

“Oh! Right.” He continued to hang on as the words left his mouth, but then he slowly let go. “We were so worried about you, especially when we couldn’t find where they’d taken you.”

“It’s okay. I’m here now, and I’m fine.” I offered a small smile, and tried to clear my throat a little bit, as it was still raspy.

Evan glanced between Mikael and me, trying to figure out just how bad things were. He knew me. I was tougher than I looked, and the fact that I hadn’t put up a fight to see anyone for days, probably told him all he needed to know. “Well, we need to get this girl some food. Jesus, Jess, your pants are about to fall off your scrawny legs.” He turned without so much as a suggestive comment or smirk thrown at Mikael and walked into the kitchen. “Shit! Mikael, when was the last time you went shopping, man?”

“We’ve had a lot going on here, Brother.”

“Okay, well, give me a few minutes and I will have food here for you.” Evan walked out to the living room talking on his cell phone as he went. “I am tipping big if you get it here in twenty. What do you mean, ‘how big’?” Evan sighed into the phone. “The tip’s going to be bigger than the bill. Good enough for you?” He clicked off his phone and tucked it back into the front pocket of his khaki pants. Evan was dressed impeccably, as usual. He had on khakis that hugged his thigh muscles and his butt just so, and he topped it off with a bright blue button-down shirt. The top three buttons were undone, and I could see what must have been a white gold chain hanging down inside his shirt. Had it been silver, it would have burned every time he moved. His hair was longer than I remembered, and he probably needed to get it cut soon, or it would start looking unkempt. Instead of his normal tied back look, today he wore it down, and it made him look younger and a bit wild, despite the pressed appearance his clothes gave him.

“So, what did I miss while I was gone, and recuperating?” I finally asked when everyone else just stood around looking awkward.

“Well, you missed the big man-hunt.” Asi told me. “We searched high and low for you. No mountain was too high, or river too deep…” Asi snickered as he spoke.

“You’re real cute, Asi!” I beamed at him, because he was the first in the group, including Mikael, to treat me normal. I appreciated the hell out of that gesture. Mikael was standing behind me, hands wrapped around my middle, chuckling in my ear.

Ashley looked stricken. “I can’t believe you just said that to her.” She whispered the words as if Asi was the only person in the room who could hear her chastising him.

“Sorry, Jess.” He apologized, more to appease Ashley, because it was clear he didn’t think it was warranted. He was right, but that was an argument for the two of them to have in private. I wasn’t about to get mixed up in the middle. Ashley felt bad enough for not realizing how truly screwed up I was when I first got back.

“Okay, besides the search and rescue, what else did I miss? How did your trip go?”

“Obviously, it was cut short, but we were able to wrap things up there before we left anyway,” Evan explained.

“We brought some people back,” Asi added. I waited for him to elaborate, and when he didn’t, I huffed and peered toward Ashley, and then Evan, who surprisingly, had a bit of a blush creeping into his cheeks.

“Who exactly did you bring back?”

“There were these women…” Ashely started in a small voice. I knew it wasn’t going to be a happy story when her shoulders slumped forward even further than they already were. “They were being held in a prison beneath the main house.”

“You brought back prisoners?” I asked, even though I knew by everyone’s demeanor that it couldn’t be the case.

“No, we didn’t. They were slaves, Jessie.” Ashley’s teary eyes as she said those words expressed how bad it must have been. They were there for the King to use and abuse however he saw fit.”

I sucked in a breath, not sure I fully grasped the scope of things, but knowing that didn’t sound good at all. “How many?”

“There are 17. Apparently, there were a few more, but a few were taken before we got there.” Ashley cringed at a memory that was clearly playing itself out in her mind. Then, she shivered involuntarily, and I had to wonder what the hell they had seen to make her react that way.

“Okay, well, you might as well start telling the story while we wait for the food to get here.”

“It might be better just to show you, after you eat.” Ashley mumbled from across the room.

“Ashley,” I called to her as I walked towards where she stood. “I am fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please, if anything, I need some normal back. This,” I gestured to her posture, “is not normal.” I reached over and hugged my best friend. It took a minute, but finally she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed back.

“You don’t hate me?”

“How in the world could I ever hate you?”

“Well, there was that dress you loved, and I spilled nail polish all over it…”

“Shut up!” I hugged her tighter for a minute. “Wait! What dress?!”

“Oh, never mind.” She grinned at me and even if she had spilled something on my favorite dress, I would forgive her because my best friend was back.

“We’ll talk about that later. Come, sit with me.” I walked to the couch, hand in hand with my best friend and we simultaneously plopped down on it. Finally, I felt like I could crawl back into my old life, just a little.

“Jess, you don’t need to do this right now. It’s your first day getting back to socializing with people. Work doesn’t have to be on the table.” I could see the worry on Mikael’s face as he spoke. It didn’t deter me though.

“It does when there are other women who were being held against their will, like I was.” I took a few minutes to catch my breath. It was not an easy thing to admit that you were held prisoner, even when others knew about it. “I wasn’t…” I started and stopped again. “I was lucky that Serena got to me when she did. I’m sure some of those women you brought home weren’t quite so lucky. If I can help them in anyway, I am going to.”

Mikael’s anger at my admission was palpable. I hadn’t talked to him about how close I had come to being raped. I still hadn’t talked much about what happened to me, how my powers were stripped, and I was kept doped up. I still wasn’t sure how to deal with all that, considering I was pregnant when I was drugged. That thought left me with an entirely new level of worries where my captivity was concerned.

Evan closed in on his brother and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. “My ordeal is over and done with. Let’s get these girls fixed up, so they can move on too. That’s what I need to do in order to get back to normal.” They were brave words for me, because honestly, I wasn’t sure I could handle listening to the stories of seventeen other women who had also been held against their will. This was going to be one hell of a challenge. “Now, please, someone tell me what’s been going on, so I have an idea of what I’m going to be working with when I head back to the pack.”

“We were checking out the main house, and I heard something behind one of the walls. I thought it was mice or whatever and I freaked out a little. You know how I am with rodents.” Ashley shivered slightly. “Asi came over to check it out, and he figured out that there was a lever to move part of the wall. It became a door, and when we walked through it, the smell was…” I could almost see Ashley turning green just from the memory, so I could imagine how bad it had been.

“They’d been locked down there for almost a week without anyone coming to check on them. Luckily, they had a stocked pantry down there when they were abandoned, or it could have been far worse.” Asriel had taken over telling me what happened while he rubbed his hand up and down Ashley’s back, offering her comfort.

“Some of them didn’t have access to bathrooms. There were a few who were being segregated for whatever reason. The ones who had been separated from the others were the reason for the putrid stench. They didn’t have proper facilities in their cells. Two of them were already gone when we got to them, and there were a couple more on the brink of death. They were not able to come back with us, because their health was too poor. They were taken to the local healer, but not expected to make it. You know how it is with the weaker wolves. If they give up, that’s it. There’s no bringing them back.”

“So, you brought back seventeen women, and there had been more that weren’t expected to live, and even more that had already perished?” I asked Asi, but honestly, I wasn’t sure I could comprehend that.

“Yes, we lost a few.”

“Suddenly, I feel guilty for every stolen moment of happiness I’ve had over the past year. While I was laughing and having a good time, what was happening to those girls?” My inner thoughts turned a little darker. I knew exactly what had been happening to them. I knew because it almost happened to me. If it weren’t for Sophia’s need for revenge, Zach would have had me drugged and used long before he attempted it.

Evan’s voice finally made it through the cacophony of emotions and thoughts that were plaguing me. “Hey, Jess.” I tipped my head a little, acknowledging that I heard him. “Don’t do that to yourself. You are not the one who put them there. Too many people in the world face different atrocities every day. You can’t make yourself responsible for those things simply because you were happy living your life while they were miserable. Thinking like that will sink your spirit. Those girls had it rough, but what they aren’t going to want to see from you is pity for what they’ve been through. They’re going to want to see someone who can show them the light at the end of it all. I don’t think you should even try going over there until you’re ready to be that for them.”

Mikael looked as though he both agreed with and wanted to deck Evan at the same time. His low growl made it seem likely that option two was the one he would go with. “I don’t think you need to worry about the women anyway. Your mom is taking care of that situation and doing a good job of getting them sorted.”

I smiled up at Mikael. He was worn around the edges these days, and I didn’t want to fight with him. “I’m not pushing myself into anything right now. I just wanted to know what I’ll be dealing with when I’m up to getting back to work.” Mikael finally smiled back at me.

“My brother was definitely the better choice for you.” Evan lamented under his breath.

“What?” I wasn’t sure why I asked, but a part of me wanted to know what he meant by that.

“He’s unhappy that we’re telling you about more bad stuff, but he’s sitting here letting it happen. I’m not so sure I would have let you out of the room yet.” The growl that came from Mikael then was beyond ominous. “I don’t mean it like that, asshole. I just mean, I don’t think I’d be okay with you being out here talking to people, let alone talking about going back to work as the white wolf. Not yet, and maybe not ever, after all you’ve been through.” Evan shrugged his shoulders sheepishly then and looked away. “I would have held you back.”

“Well, Serena did warn me that one of you would be a good partner while the other would destroy me, so maybe that’s what she meant.” I moved over to where Mikael still stood, and I leaned my head against his chest. “I hope the food gets here soon. I’m starved.” Just like that, the doorbell rang, and Evan was on his feet, heading for the door.

“Come on, let’s go get you settled in the kitchen.” Mikael pulled me into his arms and walked all the way to the kitchen with me tucked into his side. “I love you too much to stifle who you are.”

“Hmm?”

“The only reason I didn’t do exactly what my brother just said he would…” Mikael kissed the top of my head. “It’s because I love you too much to take away who you are.”

“And who am I?”

“The woman who cares more about what’s going on with those women my brother brought back than what’s happening with her.” Mikael sat me down in my chair. “I’m willing to make you a deal though.”

“Oh? What kind of deal?”

“We work through your issues, and you talk about what happened. When you do that, I will put one hundred percent of my time and effort into helping you accomplish whatever you need to do with the others.” I had to smile at him then. Mikael was making sure I was taking care of me first before I moved on to making sure everyone else was dealt with. He certainly was my balance.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

I laughed at his turning my answer into a question. “You’re right, and so was Evan. I need to get my head on straight before I add other people’s problems in the mix. I love you for finding a balance between standing beside me and making sure I take a step back to do what needs done for me too. I would never be able to do this without you. I hope you know how much I appreciate that.”

“You are all that matters in my eyes, but part of you mattering is knowing that everyone else does too. I get it, love.” He leaned in and brought his lips to mine, sliding them across mine in a sweet, tender kiss that ended far too quickly before the others joined us.