Page 23 of Bourbon Wishes (Wine Country Alphas #3)

Constance

B astian takes the front steps two at a time, his eyes locked on my face like he's drowning for the sight of me.

Even in the porchlight, he looks nervous as hell, shaken in a way he's never been.

The man has two moods, cranky and crankier.

Right now, he's neither. He seems…scared.

It's unexpected because nothing scares him.

He's solid, unyielding, so damn in control it infuriates me sometimes.

But scared? Never. Except…he is right now.

The realization makes my chest ache.

"Constance." His throat works as he swallows, his gaze flickering across my face.

"Hi," I whisper. It's not my best line, but it's the only one I have in this moment, when he's standing in front of me and I feel a little bit like I'm drowning, too. He matters more than anything ever has. And I'm just as scared as he is.

"Can…can we talk, baby?" He shoves his hands into his pockets. "We can do it right here if you want. I just…there are things I need to say to you before you decide to walk away from me for good."

I thought my heart broke today when I was holding the listing for my job in my hands, but I guess it's not finished cracking.

Because the way his voice shakes when he says that has it splintering all over again.

I hate that we're here right now, with everything so messed up and uncertain.

It shouldn't be this way. He should know how I feel. He should have known days ago.

I flick my gaze to my brother, who is standing halfway down the sidewalk, pretending he isn't watching us even though we all know that's exactly what he's doing. "We're going to the guest room to talk," I murmur to him.

Caleb sighs and then jerks his chin in a nod. "I'll be in the living room."

It's a reminder to me that he's here if he needs me. And maybe a warning to Bastian, too. I may not need him to protect me anymore, but brothers never really outgrow those instincts.

As soon as we step over the threshold, Koda comes bounding across the living room like the little five-pound terror he is, only skidding to a stop when he notices Bastian behind me. He cocks his head to the side, squinting like he's trying to decide if he wants to bark, growl, or hump his leg.

Sutton went to bed an hour ago. She has a terrifyingly long day tomorrow, the kind that makes working at the vineyard seem like lightwork.

"Koda, behave," I warn the little monster before he can make up his mind.

Bastian squats, holding out a hand toward Sutton's dog.

Koda looks at me with what I can only describe as a puppy smirk and then dashes toward Bastian to sniff him. I guess he decides that Bastian isn't the enemy because he immediately flops over onto his back, all four paws in the air.

"Cute," Bastian says with a chuckle, scratching his belly.

"He's a terrorist," I mutter, shaking my head. "Come on. If you leave it up to him, you'll be there all night."

Bastian scratches his belly again and then rises gracefully. Koda grumbles and then gets distracted when Caleb steps through the front door. He immediately scurries to my brother for attention, forgetting Bastian and I exist.

We don't say anything else as we climb the steps to the guest room, Bastian's footfalls heavy behind me.

He doesn't try to touch me, though. And I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.

Actually, that's not true. I hate it. He's always touching me, always in my personal space. It feels…wrong now that he isn't.

He stands in the doorway to the guestroom once I close it behind us, not even noticing the luxury around us. He's too busy staring at me like I might turn to smoke and vanish if he looks away.

"What are you doing here?" I finally ask, wrapping my arms around myself. It's as good a place to start as any. Why did he follow me?

"Where else would I be?" he asks, his green eyes intense as he stares at me. "I tried to go home after you left, but that just pissed me off because pieces of you were all over, but you weren't there. I was losing my mind, worried that you might not come back. I had to come."

"Do you know why I left?"

"I fucked up." He shoves a hand through his hair, swallowing convulsively. "I thought I was making life easier for you, giving you what you needed…But I fucked up."

"That's not why I left," I whisper.

He tilts his head, silently waiting for me to explain.

"I fell for you," I admit, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. "And I've been so fucking scared to say it out loud because I thought if I did, I'd lose everything.

You were talking about getting me pregnant and building a future with me, but then you turned around and acted like my boss.

And I guess…" I shrug helplessly. "I guess part of me felt like maybe this was just a big game to you. "

"Jesus," he rasps, staring at me in shock. "You really think that?"

"I don't know what to think." I sink down onto the side of the bed, staring at the floorboards at my feet.

"I know we can't work together and be together at the same time, but you've been so adamant about having it all.

I guess when I saw that listing today, it felt a little like you were deciding for me what pieces of you I was allowed to have.

You were redrawing the lines the way you wanted them to look, and I didn't have a say in what image they formed.

That hurt," I whisper. "It hurt like hell. "

His steps thud across the floor as he walks toward me. I expect him to stop in front of me or sit beside me, but he doesn't. He kneels at my feet, reaching for my hands. They close around me, so strong and sure, so steady.

"Look at me, Constance."

I slowly lift my eyes, meeting his gaze.

"Every fucking piece of me belongs to you, baby," he rasps. "Every piece. I love you. Christ, I love you so fucking much I'd crawl through hell just to be near you."

Tears spring to my eyes, his name sticking on my tongue.

"Maybe I went about trying to show you all wrong, but I wasn't trying to pick and choose what pieces you could have, baby. I wasn't trying to redraw the lines to my satisfaction. I swear to you that thought never even crossed my mind."

"Then what were you doing?" I ask. "Why did you list my position"

"You said there's a power imbalance between us because I'm your boss, and you're right.

I fucking hate that you're right, but you are.

It's not fair to you to feel like your livelihood depends on me.

" He sighs. "I didn't list your position to fire you.

I listed it because you get to decide what title you'll have now that you own part of the winery. "

"What?" I blink at him in shock.

"I don't own a stake in the winery anymore. You do."

"I…I don't understand."

"I signed over my stake to you today," he murmurs.

"That's what I was doing all fucking day—chasing my family around to get their approval.

I couldn't tell you when you asked because I still hadn't talked to everyone.

I know I fucked up by listing the position before I talked to you about it, but I didn't plan for shit to happen the way it did.

It just took a helluva lot longer to talk to everyone than I planned.

They all talk too goddamn much." He looks frustrated by that, as if it surprises him that his family is nosy as hell and probably asked him nine thousand questions today.

"Bastian, I–"

Your future at the vineyard isn't dependent on me any longer, Constance," he rasps before I can figure out what I want to say.

"Whether you're sleeping with me or not, whether you agree to marry me or not, it'll always be yours.

You don't answer to me in any way any longer.

" I stare at him, completely speechless, as he rubs his thumb across my knuckles.

"I'll sign over every fucking thing I own if that's what it takes.

Whatever I have to do to prove to you that you're the most important thing in my life.

" His hands shake around mine. "Just please don't leave me, baby. Please."

I choke on a sob, overwhelmed by the sight of him on his knees, fear in his eyes as he begs me—actually fucking begs me—not to leave him. Bastian doesn't ever ask for anything. He demands. He bullies. He bulldozes. But he doesn't ask, and he certainly doesn't beg.

And yet, that's precisely what he's doing right now.

I hate it. This man wasn't made to beg, and he doesn't have to ask me for anything. He…God, he's had me for so damn long already. Even when I was terrified to say it, he had me. Even when I was furious and hurt today, he still had me. And he has me now, too.

I slip off the bed, crawling onto his lap.

My arms wind around his neck as I burrow my face into his throat.

He chokes on a groan, wrapping his arms around me so tightly it's like he's trying to fuse us into one being.

His big body trembles around mine as he buries his face in my hair, his breath a shaky exhale.

"I'm not leaving you," I whisper against his skin. "I was hurt and angry today, but I was always coming back." I inhale a shaking breath. "Even if you didn't want me working at the vineyard anymore, I still would have come back because you were there."

"Jesus," he rasps, his hands running down my back like he's trying to reassure himself that I'm real or that I'm here, or maybe that I'm not going to turn to smoke in his arms.

I tilt my head back, curving my hand around his strong jaw. I swallow hard as his eyes lock with mine. "Maybe you went about things the wrong way today, but so did I. I should have told you days ago that I love you. I should have–"