Page 17
D ani felt her heart contract. Part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind, to believe the sincerity she saw in Zack's eyes. But another part held her back, reminding her of the pain and betrayal she'd experienced in the past. Of how her mother debased herself as the mistress of a married man. Okay, so Zack’s situation wasn’t quite the same as her father’s, but a few sweet words couldn’t make up for the ingrained, visceral rejection she felt towards the institution of marriage.
Not that they were quite there yet, but Dani had a feeling that’s where Zack might be steering this relationship.
Then again, it couldn’t happen without her consent, and caution was still her middle name.
"I... I don't know, Zack," Dani whispered, her voice trembling. "This is all so sudden. We only just reconnected.”
Zack shuffled closer, his presence both comforting and overwhelming. "I know it's a lot to take in, Dani. But I need you to understand what happened with that girl was never real. It was a business arrangement through our parents, nothing more."
Dani's brow furrowed. "But you’re still married."
"In name only," Zack insisted with a wince.
"My father organized it all without my knowledge or permission, and yes, I've been bound by certain conditions ever since, but now.
.." He reached out, gently taking her hand in his, and she tried not to feel how right it was.
"Now, terminating my farce of a marriage is simply a formality.
I'm free to make my own choices. And I choose you. "
The intensity in his gaze made Dani's breath catch. She wanted to believe him, was uncharacteristically tempted to throw herself into his arms and never let go. But doubt still nagged at her. Sure, she understood, technically, but the dilemma was real. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know this Emylyah Baskov.
He was still married to her in the eyes of the law.
So where did that leave Dani? Not to mention her own long-held beliefs, which most certainly didn’t gel with this situation in any way, shape, or form.
"Zack, I..." She hesitated, struggling to find the right words.
"I want to believe you. I do. But this is so complicated, and it flags up some pretty deep reservations of mine.
How can I be sure you won't change your mind once you track down this woman?
What if meeting her stirs up some weird protective instincts you didn't know you had? "
Zack's grip on her hand tightened, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Dani, listen to me. I saw her once across a room, we’ve never been introduced, never had a conversation.
She's a stranger to me, nothing more than a name on a piece of paper. I could pass her on the street and not even know who she was.”
Dani bit her lip, still uncertain. "Okay, then what about the legal implications?
“Like I said, I have a team of lawyers working on it, and more than enough money to throw at it," Zack assured her. "It might take some time, but I'm committed to making this right. For us."
The sincerity in his voice made Dani's traitorous heart flutter.
Against her better judgement, she wanted to believe him, wanted to take a chance on the connection they'd forged. But years of disillusionment and betrayal had left their mark… And Dani had consoled herself with the knowledge that her decision to distance herself from any relationship, whether family or otherwise, that required her to rethink the way she lived her life - as a financially independent woman who didn’t need a man or a family to complete her - was the right one.
She’d wavered from that mind set when she fell for Zack. Had compromised her ideals, and look where that had gotten her. Nothing but disappointment and hurt. Did she want to go there again?
"I need time," she said softly, her eyes searching his face. "I need to process all of this. It's a lot to take in."
Zack nodded, disappointment flashing in his eyes before he schooled his features. "I understand. Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere, Dani. I'll be right here when you're ready.”
She didn’t know if she believed him. He might think it was possible, but Zack was a billionaire venture capitalist. There was no way he could stay holed up on a tiny island in the middle of the Caribbean indefinitely.
Lifting her hand to his lips, he pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles.
The tender gesture sent a shiver down her spine, and she had to resist the urge to pull him closer, but Dani knew she needed clarity.
A clear head to make sense of things. And that wasn’t going to happen with him around, distracting her.
"Thank you," she whispered, reluctantly withdrawing her hand. "I - I think you should probably go now.”
Zack frowned, but he stepped back, giving her space. "Of course. Perhaps… Could we have lunch tomorrow?"
Dani shook her head. "No, I... I think I need some time alone." She knew she did. He could turn her head so easily. In close proximity, he’d have her all worked up without even trying and Dani would be thinking with her lady bits instead of her common sense.
Zack nodded, his expression so sad as he turned to leave that her mind whirled with conflicting emotions. Just as he reached the door, he stopped. “Dani?"
She looked at him, her heart clenching at the vulnerability in his expression.
"I meant what I said. You're the one I want. The only one."
With those words hanging in the air, Zack slipped out the door, leaving Dani alone with her tumultuous thoughts. She sank onto the lounger, her legs suddenly feeling weak.
Part of her wanted to run after him, to throw caution to the wind and take a chance on what they could have together.
But the more rational side of her brain held her back.
This was all so complicated, so messy. How could she be sure Zack's feelings were genuine and not just a product of their intense physical connection? They hadn’t been together for years, after all.
They both still had so much to learn about the other.
Their entire relationship had been backwards.
Getting to know each other had barely been a thing outside their limit lists and a few business conversations.
They’d thrown themselves into an intense, sexual, kink-based relationship which only took place in a club.
It was nothing like normal couples. They hadn’t gone on dates to restaurants, or movies, or even enjoyed a simple coffee together.
They hadn’t shared any deep, meaningful conversations, never even had breakfast together where they might talk about their wants, their dreams, their plans for the future.
It had always been more about pleasure than emotion.
And that had been fine at the outset. Expected.
Until she’d gotten caught up in her feelings.
But what were those feelings based on, really?
There was nothing solid. Nothing substantial in what they’d shared. Just desire, attraction, and a healthy kink compatibility.
Four years ago, the idea of Zack as a partner by her side, fulfilling every wild fantasy, had been intoxicating, taking her by surprise and making her question what she wanted from life.
She’d reconciled taking things a step further.
Convinced herself she wanted more. More than a fantasy.
More than the bone-melting sex and the mind-blowing scenes that left her breathless.
More than playing games in dark corners.
He’d turned her head, muddied her thoughts, and had her dreaming of husbands and babies and white picket fences. All the things her family had planned out for her. All the things she’d resisted and rejected.
And when she’d finally compromised her ideals and stepped up to accept a different future, it had all crumbled to ashes at her feet.
Now, with the benefit of hindsight and maturity? Now she wasn’t sure if it was enough. What chance did the two of them have of stitching together a relationship from the ragged patchwork of their past?
Dani flopped back with a groan, staring up at the calm, cerulean sky. She needed to clear her head and find some perspective. Even here, in the privacy of her home, she could feel him everywhere, woven into the fabric of her cabana by his mere presence. Maybe a long walk on the beach would help.
As she changed into a bathing suit and cover-up, determined to make the most of the warm evening as it turned to dusk, Dani's mind kept replaying Zack's words. The raw emotion in his voice when he'd said she was the only one he wanted. It made her heart race even now.
But could she really trust what they had?
It wasn’t exactly the most solid basis. It was way too early for Dani to be sure she was ready to take the risk that Zack wouldn’t seduce her senses in that effortless way of his, and have her ready to throw away years of hard work again.
And yet, as much as she hated it, the thought of walking away repelled her.
She stood at a crossroads, uncertainty weighing heavy on her shoulders, torn between indecision and longing, while her thoughts swirled in a maelstrom of doubt and desire.
The weight of past expectations that had little to do with her own autonomy and the shattered hopes from the one time she’d capitulated to them clung to her like a heavy shroud, making her hesitant to step into the unknown once more.
Her heart yearned for connection, for the warmth of companionship and the promise of something more.
She wasn’t getting any younger, after all.
And while she considered herself 100% a businesswoman, that didn’t keep her warm at night.
Her work would never provide the devotion and intimacy of a life partner.
But her mind, scarred by past wounds, whispered warnings of potential pain and heartbreak.
Could she truly afford to take another chance, to open herself up to the possibility of being hurt again?
Especially with a man who was already married, even if it was merely a technicality.
A breeze rustled through the palms as she made her way to the beach, carrying with it the soft scent of blooming flowers, a reminder of the fleeting beauty of life and the endless cycle of beginnings and endings. Dani closed her eyes, letting the gentle touch of the wind soothe her troubled soul.
In that moment of quiet introspection, a sense of clarity washed over her.
She realized that while the future was uncertain and the road ahead fraught with challenges, she couldn't let fear dictate her choices. Life was too short for regrets and what-ifs. Wasn’t that what she’d lived with since she walked away?
The thought of years of the same stretching into her future was just… sad.
So, with a resolve that felt like a spark igniting within her, Dani took a deep breath and made her decision. For in that moment, she knew the choice to trust, to love, was a risk worth taking.
But caution was an ingrained part of her makeup, so she wouldn’t be rash. She’d sleep on it, and if the morning brought the same conviction, then tomorrow she would turn towards the source of her turmoil, and face whatever was to come with an open mind.