Page 40 of Boomer (SEAL Team Tier 1, #7)

Boomer ? Sugar: Fuck, we’re not getting spun up right away, are we?

Sugar ? Boomer: No, we have twenty-four hours, but tomorrow night and the rest of the week are going to be busy. Let’s see what we can do in that amount of time.

Boomer ? Sugar: I’m so hard for you, darlin’ I can’t think straight anymore.

Sugar ? Boomer: I can’t think about anything but you. I’ll see you soon. Got to go back to the meeting.

Boomer gritted his teeth, his thumb hovering over the screen like he could will her to materialize through sheer force of lust and longing.

He paced. Five steps, turn. Five steps back.

This room had become a cage, and the only thing he wanted was waiting on the other end of a meeting.

He spent several hours texting with Ansel, and the images of his progress with the sculpture filled the void for a bit. The kid was just as sweet as his aunt.

“Jesus, Boomer.” Breakneck groaned from his bunk. “You want to go swim or something? You’re going to wear out the floor.”

Boomer paused, fists clenched at his sides, body so tight with need it was ridiculous. He considered Breakneck’s offer, then shook his head. “You need to sleep. I’ll hit the showers.”

“Cold one?” Breakneck asked, voice drowsy but laced with knowing.

Boomer looked over his shoulder, deadpan. “Does that ever actually work?”

Breakneck let out a long sigh. “Maybe for ten minutes. But once the water shuts off…”

“Yeah.” Boomer exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “If only it was just physical.”

Breakneck stilled, and Boomer felt the weight of that sentence slamming down like a hard stop. “What did you say?” he asked, sitting upright. He threw the covers back, swung his legs around, and planted his feet. “What did you do?”

Boomer dragged a hand through his hair. “I didn’t do anything. It’s all her, and…I think I’m a goner.”

Breakneck blinked. “Seriously? That’s huge. How do you feel about that?”

Boomer stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bed. “Terrified out of my mind.”

Breakneck tilted his head. “What is it? The distance? The job? The age?”

“Those are all factors, sure,” Boomer muttered. “But no.”

Breakneck leaned his forearms on his thighs. “You can tell me, Boom Boom. It won’t leave this room. But I reserve the right to make inside jokes.”

He swallowed and looked away, letting this kid into his life was ten times harder than being his teammate. But all of them…fuck…how did this happen? How could he have gotten so lucky with this team?

“I was kidding about the jokes.”

“No, you weren’t, you a-hole.”

Breakneck laughed. “It keeps you on your toes, and man, she’d be a fool not to get herself a lifetime of Boom Boom.

I’ve seen some breachers in my time on the teams, but hands down you make it look like an art form, Carter.

I watched her when you breached that door on our last joint op together. Yeah, she was loving your…technique.”

Boomer looked at Break. “What are you talking about?”

“The breaching, man. She’s so into it.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“No way. You’re making that up.”

“I’m not. I swear. Her eyes glaze over. The way you draw your hands down the door…it’s pretty sensual. Taylor’s probably thinking if he’s that gentle with explosives, how will he be with my body?” He smirked. “But we’re getting off topic. What is terrifying you?”

Boomer told him about the lunch, about Ansel, and how he’d handled the art project.

“Wow, man, you’re pushing all her buttons, and you don’t even realize what that does to her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Women are always assessing men for their potential, sex, conversation, fun factor, but there’s a big one for any woman with a biological clock ticking…daddyville.”

Something unexpectedly warm filled his chest. Ansel as a…

son? He immediately wanted to dismiss it.

He had so much shit to deal with. How could he father a boy well?

He wouldn’t settle for anything less. He wasn’t even sure he was enough for Taylor, but Ansel.

He’d lost his foundations, and he would need new ones.

Damn. It hurt how much he wanted to be that man who could show Ansel that the world was scary, but it was so worth living.

He wasn’t quite sure where that all came from, but he wanted to punch Break in the mouth for bringing it up. “I’d rather focus on my dick ache.”

“Come on, man. You’ve been a mentor to me…I kind of grew up without a dad, and…you know…don’t make me say it.”

“Oh, no, you’re saying it, Kelly. If you want my baggage, you can damn well give me yours.”

“You’re being a jerk because you’ve got a hard-on.” Boomer’s expression didn’t waver. Breakneck sighed. “You’ve been like a father to me. You…and Ice. He’s tougher than you are, but I fucking love it.”

That warmth grew, radiating out to every part of him.

He didn’t have a clue, and Break’s caretaking was not a result of thinking Boomer was inadequate, it was because he was being there for him in the only way he knew how.

This admission, and the fact that Taylor couldn’t wait to get back here for him, made him think that he might not be the sum of what he’d survived.

Maybe he was just plain worthy just as he was. Broken pieces and all.

“That humbles me, Kelly. It truly does. I have held back. I have. Losing people…fuck me…losing Mike broke me. I spiraled, and I was responsible for the loss of my marriage. These are things that haunt me every day, give me nightmares.”

“So that fear you have is all about telling her these things, and hoping she sees you just for who you are.”

Boomer’s jaw clenched. That was exactly it.

That kid was perceptive, and Boomer was fucked because he was in love with Taylor.

His heart was in play, hell, everything was, and he knew if he didn’t come clean, she wouldn’t ever get a chance to really see who he was.

Would she turn away? Or even more scary, would she embrace him, and could he take a second chance or have it all blow up in his face?