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Chapter four

Noah

T he frustrating situation with Declan yesterday had driven me to the app. I needed to hook up and blow off steam something fierce, even if it was a Sunday evening.

The guy on Grindr wanted to meet up at Fun-Guy, our local mushroom-themed sports bar, but the baseball game was on, so I headed there early. My job this week had gotten switched to Declan’s house, which thrilled me, even if the confusion between us drove me insane in the same breath.

Some days I wanted to quit with the hookups and find someone who fit me, but I’d never met someone who intrigued me like Declan, so the urge to settle down hadn’t gripped me yet.

The crack of the bat from the screen drew my attention, and I let out a whoop, along with a few of the other guys watching. I’d half finished my beer, one of the artisan wheat beers they had on tap.

“Phillies aren’t playing like shit this season,” Greg, the bartender, said. Wherever I went, I tried to learn the names of the people I met, and they lingered in my head. However, I sometimes made friends a little too easily—in the sense that all the invites folks threw my way made my head spin.

“Thank fuck,” I said. “Last season was painful.”

My phone pinged. The guy on the screen looked kinda cute and had the geeky vibe I liked. I itched for someone to let me take control, to let me bind them up and fuck them senseless, but that sort of play required a few hookups to build up to. My balls ached at the thought of getting to do that with Declan. The idea of him bent over with a blindfold, his mouth open and ready.

Ngh.

Okay, the fantasy was unhelpful to my current situation. I needed to be getting in the groove for BottomsforDays, not my forever unattainable crush.

I glanced at the door.

The crush who just walked in here.

Declan stepped into FunGuy, his brow furrowed as if he had already sunk into analytical assessment mode. My heart thumped harder on automatic. His glossy brown hair was swept to the side, his thick black frames showcasing his gorgeous eyes. His lush lips were pursed, which sent my mind to filthier places. He wore a pair of jeans with a white tee that highlighted his slender frame. Fuck, I’d break him in the best way.

If he was ever interested.

Half the time, I couldn’t tell if I pissed him off or if he enjoyed my company. Everything had gotten more confusing between us once we hit high school.

But god, he was exactly who I thought of when I imagined my dream guy .

He saw the world through such a different lens than I did, and I adored it. And his dry wit was unparalleled. I missed him in my life something fierce, but no matter how much I tried to fix what had broken between us back then, the task was impossible because I didn’t know what had caused it. Some days, I wasn’t sure if he even did.

Fuck the baseball game. I had a new distraction.

Declan headed my way, but he hadn’t spotted me yet. He veered to the right, where two guys sat at a table, and he plunked down next to them.

My phone buzzed with BottomsforDays.

Running late.

I shot back a “no problem.” My interest for the hookup had decreased the second Declan walked through the door. If only I could switch on this spark, this attraction, this fixation with anyone else. The closest thing I got to that was when I volunteered at the shelter. Leaving the pups there grew harder and harder when I wanted one in my home so damn badly.

I pushed up from my seat, beer in hand. Declan clearly wasn’t on a date, so saying hi couldn’t hurt. Adrenaline fluttered through me as I made my way over.

“Three times this week?” I asked.

Declan pivoted around in his seat and delivered me a flat look. “I’m beginning to believe you’re stalking me.”

I lifted my free hand. “Hey, I’m just a friend stopping to say hi.”

“Declan, you’re cheating on us?” A slim, attractive guy gasped, placing a hand on his chest. “I thought we were your only friends outside of your siblings.”

“Friend is a bit of a stretch.” Declan took a sip of his beer.

“Ouch, my poor, tender heart. I’ve known the Brannons my whole life.” When we were younger, we’d all been thick as thieves, Declan and I especially. However, as we got older, I’d got drawn in too many directions, and we’d drifted, something I regretted to this day. When people wanted my attention, I struggled so hard to turn them down.

However, all that had gotten me was being worn the fuck out and lonelier than ever.

Surrounded by friends and family, always getting invited to parties and cookouts, but never feeling like I got the chance to connect.

“Mm, so you’ve got the dirt on young Declan,” the slender guy said, all but vibrating in his seat. “Come sit with us.”

My lips quirked. Declan shot his friend an irritated look, but he wasn’t saying no. I sure as fuck wouldn’t pass up the invite. And with how close the other two guys were sitting to each other, the available spot was right next to Declan. Maybe I should be paying more attention to my phone to see if my hookup had arrived, but truth be told, the moment Declan walked in through the door, BottomsforDays was the last thing on my mind.

“My name’s Henry.” The slender guy extended his hand. “And this is my boyfriend, Jacob.” The big bear of a guy next to him bobbed his head, clearly the quieter type.

“I’m Noah. How do you know Declan?” I asked. As long as I could remember, Declan’s social circle consisted of his family with the occasional friend. But he didn’t need the outlets. He’d be just as fine sitting by himself and working on whatever his brilliant mind concocted. Meanwhile, if I didn’t have someone with me or at least en route, I’d be dissolving into an anxious mess. Part of me had always envied his confidence, his self-reliance.

I’d wanted to be around it constantly, but when I started making friends with different groups in high school, he’d slipped through my fingers .

“We’re his coworkers,” Jacob said. “We’ve all been at the same company for five years now.”

“And yet he continues to be an enigma.” Henry leaned against his boyfriend. Their comfortability was clear, the way they existed in each other’s spaces. I envied that. As much as I told myself I was happy with the single life, once in a while, I longed to have someone in my corner, someone who was mine. Even if they’d probably get sick of how little time I’d have to offer.

“I’ve answered any questions you have.” Declan adjusted his glasses. “I think you’re looking for excitement that doesn’t exist in my life.”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure working on longer-lasting batteries to submit to NASA is exciting as fuck,” Henry said.

A thump was followed by an “ow” from Henry. Declan shot daggers his way. Curiosity flushed through me. I wanted to know what project he worked on, but he clearly wasn’t in a sharing mood. Sitting this close to him, I couldn’t help but drink in his crisp scent, the evergreen cologne he’d been wearing since high school. Life was so chaotic and changeable, and I adored how little had shifted about Declan Brannon.

His lush lips were pursed as he stared into his beer again, those blue eyes hypnotic. The way his shirt hugged his slender frame sent my brain to very filthy places.

“What do you do, Noah?” Jacob asked, his quiet demeanor setting me at ease.

I shifted in my seat, my knee accidentally knocking against Declan’s. The shock of contact sent a thrill up my spine. Declan froze but relaxed a moment later. I chewed on my lower lip. Shit, why did the scrap of contact affect me more than half of the hookups I’d been on ?

“Contractor,” I said, trying to break through the spell being in Declan’s proximity cast over me. I’d seen him more in the past week than I had in years. “In fact, currently fixing this one’s masonry issues.” I jerked a thumb at Declan, who rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know why we haven’t found routes to make houses indestructible anyway.” Declan scratched at the tabletop with his fingernail. “If we funneled better materials into building them, we’d have less degradation.”

“Maybe that’s their kink,” I teased.

Declan shot me a glare. “What are you, Rory?” Henry burst into laughter, and Jacob smirked, so at least I wasn’t batting zero at this table.

“Ew, never compare me to your brother,” I said. That was the last way I wanted him to see me. My phone buzzed, and I slid it out. Message from my potential hookup. The tug to stay with Declan roared stronger than ever.

If I didn’t open it, I wouldn’t have to respond. I could exist in this moment a little longer. When we were apart, I sometimes forgot about how strong a pull Declan had always had on me. But whenever I spent prolonged time around him, the first crush energy that had existed from my early teenage years swept in and never left.

“So, what conversation did I interrupt?” I asked.

“ Doctor Who , baby,” Henry said. “Not sure if sci-fi is your vibe or not—”

“Fuck yes.” I craned forward. I never got to have these conversations with my coworkers or the folks I hung out with. Straddling the line of geek and jock was always a weird one as if you couldn’t be a baseball junkie and also enjoy a good debate about who the best Doctor was.

“Okay, then, favorite villain. Dalek or Cyberman?” Henry asked. I grew aware of the weight of Declan’s gaze on me. Maybe he too remembered when we’d stay up late marathoning the old Who seasons. Any alternate reason was wishful thinking on my part.

“Dalek,” I said. “They were representative of the Nazis, so I’m pretty sure they take top-tier on villainy.”

Jacob let out a whistle. “Really? I had no clue.”

I chanced a glance at Declan, who stared at me. The intensity in his blue eyes was enough to knock me over, and I sucked in a sharp breath. Over the past decade and change, he’d been paying attention to anything but me in our brief encounters. However, he was one of those people whose focus was one of the most intense things on the planet; it was wholly there. No distractions.

“Well, I think Cyberman.” Henry shattered the quiet that had settled.

“You’re just being contrary on purpose.” Jacob wrapped his arm around Henry. The movement made the already unsteady table tip the slightest bit.

I watched in slow motion as the half-finished pint of beer in front of Declan wobbled back and forth until it clattered to the table. The liquid sloshed out—partially on the table and the rest over Declan’s shirt.

“Oh fuck.” He leaped up from his seat, and I launched into action. I grabbed a bunch of napkins, tossed one at Declan, and used the others to mop up the liquid.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Jacob said, pushing up to help with the cleanup. We managed to get the spill under control within seconds, with a wad of wet napkins in its wake.

“Hey, no harm,” I said. “We’ve all spilled beer before.”

“Mm, I’m more of a wine spiller.” Henry offered another napkin to Declan. I glanced up. Declan dabbed at his shirt with the napkin, but based on the rigid set of his shoulders, he was internally freaking out. I remember him getting that way with spills when we were younger. It was more about the damp fabric than the actual spill itself. He covered his reaction well, but despite all that had shifted between us, some things hadn’t changed.

“Hey.” I placed a hand on his shoulder. He tensed and looked up at me. “I’ve got a clean shirt in my car if you want something dry.”

Declan opened his mouth and shut it again. “Is this the sort of situation I should be avoiding? Strange men baiting me into their vans with clean shirts?”

I lifted a brow. “First off, it’s supposed to be beckoning with candy.”

“Well, I don’t like candy.”

“What kind of monster are you?” Henry sat again.

“Also.” I steamrolled through. “I’m offended you’re saying I’m a strange man.”

A hint of a smile curled his lips. “Well, you are strange.”

God, the hint of cockiness in his voice, the smirk, how his eyes warmed the slightest bit toward me—I’d take any scraps I could get. “So, want to take a clean shirt from a strange man, then?”

Declan pressed his lips together as if he struggled with his smile, but the crinkle of his eyes gave him away. “Sure. Thanks.”

My heart slammed hard as I led the way to the front door. The moment I emerged, the crispness of late fall greeted me. The streetlights were on, illuminating sections of the parking lot. My truck was parked farther down along the side. All the while, I grew more aware than ever of Declan walking paces behind me.

I opened the passenger’s side of my truck, where I kept a go-bag. Whenever I was on a job, there was always the risk of getting messy, and having spare clothes stashed away had saved my ass a dozen times over through the years. I turned around with one of my faded Phillies shirts in hand. “It’s probably a bit bigger than you, though. ”

Declan reached for the shirt, and our hands brushed. Electricity crackled in the air, as strong as ever. I’d thought that over the years, the distance, this connection toward him would fade, but that was the furthest from the case.

“I’ll take anything. I can’t stand stickiness.” He tugged his shirt up and over without hesitation, and I couldn’t help it. I flat out stared. The night shadows sharpened the dips and divots of his chest, his lithe form surprisingly toned. His glasses were askew, and his hair was rumpled. I itched to reach out and run my fingers through it. Fuck. He’d look so damn good pressed up against my truck as I railed into him.

My cock woke right the hell up, and I swallowed.

All too fast, the sight was gone. Declan yanked my shirt on, but even that turned me on. Him wearing my oversized shirt, like we’d just fucked. My heart thumped hard, adrenaline coursing through my veins.

He pulled at the hem. “A little bit big, but it’s comfortable.”

I chewed on my lower lip. As much as I was living for every second of this time with him, I’d dropped into his friend hang uninvited. “If you want me to leave, tell me. I invited myself over to your table.”

Declan sucked in a sharp breath and glanced down at the shirt. “Well, I’ll need to be able to return your shirt to you at the end of the night. So it’s better you stay.”

A goofy grin spread on my lips, and I didn’t try to restrain it. “Ah, very smart reasoning.”

Declan shot me an arch look. “Don’t get sassy with me, Langston.” With that, he pivoted on his heel and marched back toward Fun-Guy. Adrenaline swirled through my veins, hotter and heavier than ever. I took off after him but kept a few paces behind and slipped my phone out .

BottomsforDays had responded.

I don’t see you. Found a different hookup. Sorry.

Relief poured over me. The second Declan had walked in through the door, my whole plan for the night had been shot. Yet I didn’t regret a damn thing.

Even if my attraction to Declan Brannon never went anywhere, I’d steal whatever seconds I could claim.