Page 30 of Body Language (Mind, Body, & Soul #2)

Kendrix

Niv was on stage, closing the night out. The crowd was screaming, bills flying in the air like confetti, and I swear every nigga in the place was drooling over her.

I sat back, trying my hardest not to even blink her way. I was pissed. Not the type of pissed you shake off after a drink. Nah. The kind that sat in your chest heavy, that made you want to punch a wall just so you ain’t say something you couldn’t take back.

I pulled out my phone, scrolling just to distract myself. Arlette’s name popped up.

I should’ve blocked her ass back after the last time. Should’ve done it weeks ago.

Can we talk?

I stared at it, thumb hovering, doing absolutely nothing.

On one shoulder, that little angel voice whispering, Don’t be stupid. Don’t text her back. You don’t even fuck with her like that.

But then the devil on the other shoulder grinned and said, So she can grind on niggas, let them throw money on her like you don’t got it, but you can’t even answer a damn text?

Before I could overthink it, the phone buzzed again.

Can we talk please?

I tilted the phone, staring at it like it might give me the answer.

I felt somebody watching me. I glanced up, and Ty was standing there. Not smiling. Not saying shit. Just looking at my phone.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath.

Her silence said everything. I knew she was about to run straight to Niv with it, but fuck it. I wasn’t about to start explaining myself like some weak-ass nigga.

“What you need, Ty?” I asked, voice flat.

She hesitated, then said, “Niv told me to tell you… you can go. She’s got a ride home.”

That shit hit different. Like a sucker punch straight to the gut.

I clenched my jaw. “Aight.”

I looked back down at my phone.

My thumb moved without hesitation this time.

Bet. When?

I sat in my truck, engine off, seat reclined just enough to stay low, eyes locked on the front of GivGold like I wasn’t the one who built it.

She had Ty to come deliver a message. I already knew that was her way of saying “fuck you” without using her mouth.

My phone buzzed but I didn’t even look at it right away. I was too busy watching the door swing open.

She came out in that black lace robe over a barely-there bodysuit, walking like the damn ground should thank her for stepping on it. But it wasn’t just her. Her arm was linked with Sincere’s.

I shifted in my seat, watching them stroll toward his car like I wasn’t in the building twenty minutes ago, asking her to drop everyone else and choose me.

Choose me.

But nah.

She chose her moment. Her mood. Her little power play.

Sincere was soaking it up too, looking like he already knew how soft her moans sounded.

If my brothers were still around, this would’ve been a whole other scene. Kross would’ve popped off just outta loyalty. Kordai would’ve offered to handle it for me. Kairo probably would’ve pulled me to the side like, “You gone let that shit slide, bro?”

My phone buzzed again.

I’m home now. If you wanna come.

I stared at the message. Angel on one shoulder telling me to block her. Devil on the other grinning like, “Since she want to act single, act single.”

Niv slid into Sincere’s passenger seat like she wasn’t breaking every unspoken rule between us.

That was the final straw.

I unlocked my screen, hit Reply on Arlette’s text.

On the way.

By the time I pulled up to Arlette’s house, she was already outside leaned against the front door like she’d been rehearsing whatever she planned to say.

Her posture screamed “ready,” but her eyes… they were softer. Not wide with rage like usual. Just tired.

She opened the door without a word. I walked up slow, hands in my pockets, the weight of too much bullshit pressing on my back.

As soon as I stepped in, I said it straight.

“I ain’t got time to argue. You wanna talk? Talk.”

She closed the door behind us.

No yelling. No neck rolls. No dramatics.

Instead, she walked to the couch, sat down, and looked up at me like she was trying to unlearn how to cry.

“I love you, Kendrix,” she said softly. “I’ve loved you for years. We’ve always been solid… so I don’t understand how one girl in the club just shows up and flips everything upside down.”

Her voice cracked, and I realized I hadn’t heard her sound like that in so long.

It didn’t sound like Arlette. It sounded like the girl I used to laugh with on slow Sundays.

I exhaled and sat down across from her.

“You always been cool, Arlette,” I said. “ I liked the way we used to kick it… years back. When you weren’t being wild. When you weren’t trying to be the loudest one in the room.”

She blinked, fast.

“But somewhere between my brother getting locked up and me tryna keep shit from falling apart, you changed. You got good with business. I’ll never take that from you but everything else turned to chaos.”

She opened her mouth, but I kept going.

“It started being about shitting on your family. About what you had, what you wore, who was watching. Like everything was a damn competition. Meanwhile, I’m tryna survive and you can’t even pack a lunch.”

Her mouth twitched like she wanted to defend herself, but I leaned forward.

“I made sure you didn’t go without. I did that because I cared. But you couldn’t even return the favor with peace. And after a while, I stopped fucking with you for real. Yeah, we had sex. Yeah, we ran business. But I didn’t see you as no wife. That was long gone.”

She sniffled, and just when I thought the softness would turn back into fire—

“I was loyal,” she whispered.

I laughed.

“I know you fucked my homeboys.”

Her head snapped up like I’d slapped her.

“Stop this loyalty act. I knew. I been knew. But I didn’t say shit, because truth is… the only reason I kept anything going after that wreck was because you lost the baby.”

That broke her. Her lips quivered, and the tears came heavy. “If I hadn’t sped off… if I wasn’t acting so damn crazy that day…”

She couldn’t finish it.

And even though I should’ve stayed cold, I felt it in my chest too. That accident wrecked more than a car. Two wrecks took two kids from me before I could even meet them. I thought about Megan. Pieces of me I would never get back.

I stood and walked over to her. I sat beside her and let her fall into me.

She was sobbing and shaking. Snot and tears soaking into my shirt.

I didn’t love her or even like her, but I wasn’t heartless.

Sometimes grief doesn’t let you be the villain. Sometimes you just sit in the wreckage with someone who remembers the same pain you do.

“I just wanna be under you one last time,” she whispered against my chest, breath shaky.

I didn’t say anything.

Because I wasn’t sure if she meant under emotionally…

…or under me in the way I knew I’d regret.

She looked up at me, eyes glassy, lips trembling.

“Can you make me feel something else?”

I didn’t answer. Her eyes were already filling in the blanks, and mine were running wild with visions I didn’t want.

Visions of Niv pressed up against velvet, lips parted, head thrown back in laughter while Sincere whispered some slick shit in her ear.

That smug smile he gave me at the club still gripped the back of my mind like a claw.

I could see his hand on her waist. His mouth too close to hers. The way she leaned into him.

I hated how much that shit bothered me. Hated how I was gripping the fabric of Arlette’s damn couch like it owed me answers.

I stood up, pacing the floor like I was trying to outrun the thought of Niv getting soft for another man.

I knew what Arlette wanted. She wanted to disappear inside the version of me I used to be. The man who touched her without overthinking it. The man who didn’t flinch when she begged, who didn’t have a whole new woman under his skin.

Maybe for one night, I could give that to her. Or maybe I just wanted to punish someone… and she was the only one dumb enough to hand me the weapon.

She reached for me, and I didn’t stop her.

Her hands slid under my shirt like she still had the right. She was busy talking. Words I wasn’t hearing, promises I didn’t believe. My jaw locked when she kissed my neck, but I didn’t push her away.

I could feel myself spiraling, but I let her keep going.

She guided me down onto the couch, crawling over me like memory. Like manipulation.

I stared at the ceiling while she straddled me, whispering, “You remember how I used to make you feel?”

Yeah. I remembered, but I wasn’t trying to feel anything. I was trying to forget.

Forget the way Niv smiled at Sincere. Forget the softness in her voice when she said, “he’s just an old friend.” Forget how I wasn’t even officially her man, but felt like she just cheated on me anyway.

Arlette was touching me like I was hers, and I let her.

I let her take her time, let her say things that used to mean something. Let her kiss my scars and pretend like she had the right. But I didn’t kiss her back. I didn’t make it sweet. I didn’t even close my eyes.

Because I wasn’t there, I was at Niv’s door.

I was watching her walk away from me without hesitation.

When I finally touched Arlette, I mean really touched her, I wasn’t gentle.

I didn’t go slow. I didn’t care what she needed. I gave her what I had left.

Rough. Mindless. The kind of fuck that feels more like revenge than pleasure. She was moaning, clawing at me, calling me by name like it meant something. Like she was winning.

But the whole time, I couldn’t stop thinking—

I wish this was her.

And that was the worst part.

Because no matter how deep I went…

No matter how loud Arlette got…

She would never be Niv.

I was still sweating. Still inside my own damn head.

She curled up next to me, trying to act like what we did meant something, all I felt was fucking hollow.

Regret burned at the back of my throat like cheap liquor.

She asked me to stay real soft, like it wasn’t her who just got through crying about how she messed up everything and still turned around and let me fuck her like a disposable itch I needed to scratch.

“You can stay if you want…” she said, fingers brushing over my chest like her touch could anchor me. “Just lay down. Be here with me tonight.”

I sat up.

“I’m not staying. And I’m damn sure not cuddling with you,” I said, pulling my pants back on and trying to shake the fog in my head.

I was tipsy, high, and mad as hell at myself. I didn’t even wanna be in her damn house, breathing recycled air that smelled like old perfume and desperation.

My head was spinning. I could still see Niv’s damn smile. Her hand locked into Sincere’s arm like he had the right to guide her anywhere.

Fuck.

I ran a hand down my face and sat back down on the couch.

“Ima just sit here. Close my eyes for a minute.”

She lit a candle like she was setting the vibe, and I damn near rolled my eyes out my skull.

It wasn’t a vibe. It was a mistake with throw pillows.

And just like clockwork, like she couldn’t help her damn self, she started talking again.

“You didn’t have to say it like that… like I didn’t mean shit. Like everything we’ve done just ain’t matter to you—”

“Man, shut the fuck up.”

I didn’t even raise my voice. Just said it calm and slow.

She froze and I kept going.

“You always do this. Always kill the moment. We already fucked. You cried. You got your nut. Let me relax in peace before I lose my shit in here.”

She went quiet, flipping through the channels like her pride had taken the hit it needed.

I leaned back, head hitting the cushion, eyes closed, fists clenched.

I should’ve been anywhere else.

But I was….

In the home of a woman I didn’t even like.

Trying to forget a woman I couldn’t stop wanting.