Page 28 of Blue-Eyed Jacks (Destroyers MC: Skilletsville PA #1)

Jackson

T here was something in Kate’s head that was shoving me out.

Charming her pants off wasn’t going to be easy.

I figured a direct approach might be an option.

But first, I needed to ensure we wouldn’t be interrupted, and that there’d be no need for Kate to leave this room.

Luckily, giving orders was second nature to me.

“Bear! Stick someone on the stairs. Upstairs is off fucking limits to anyone with a dick. That means all you fuckers, except Sprout, so fuck off.”

Despite the ultimatum to protect her and Zoe, Kate glared at me.

“What?”

She broke eye contact and blew out a breath. “I want to be alone.”

“How’s it feel to want?” No sooner than I said the words, I cursed my smart-aleck autopilot.

“What?!”

“Babe—” I’d spent the better part of the day getting teased and questioned about Kate and my plans to keep her in my life. Getting shit about it from her hurt.

She stuck a finger up in my face. “No. You do not get to dictate what I want. I distinctly told you I want to be alone. I told you last night that I don’t want to be in a cage. I told you. No.”

Ah. Right . “Was that before or after we decorated my desk?” I knew it was after. But couldn’t stop from sticking my foot in my mouth.

“Fuck you!”

She meant that. And not in a good way.

“Kate?”

“No.”

She’d closed herself off, hugging her body tight. And I was an utter asshole. I softened my tone.

“I’m not Shock.”

Her mouth opened and shut. Her color shifted from flushed to florid. With that shift, she figured out what she wanted to say. And she did so quietly.

“There are similarities. You’re both bossy.

You have to be to run a club like this. However, I do understand the difference between you two.

I would have been backhanded for telling Shock to fuck off.

Part of me remembers that vividly. Another part of me is damn certain I never want that to happen again.

And that part? She’s telling me to get the fuck away from you right now.

And it isn’t because I’m scared of you or I think you would hit me.

It’s because I’m deep in protective mode right now.

“I’m fragile. Yet I can’t be fragile because there’s no breaking allowed for me. There’s no time to break. I have to be Zoe’s mom. I have to be the survivor. The one who doesn’t wallow in the pain. And do you know why that is?”

I had the feeling if I stayed quiet, she’d tell me. And another feeling that if I didn’t stay quiet, she’d get angry with me. “I’m listening. Go on.”

Her chin wobbled. Her words came out broken and hoarse. They barely were above a clogged whisper.

“I was property. His property, the club’s.

They even gave me a vest, saying I was theirs.

The only person I could count on was me.

I know you helped me get free. I know that.

But if I hadn’t taken the chance, it would’ve never happened.

Deep down, I know the only person who really got me out of there, was me.

Not you. I…” She paused to collect her voice.

“You needed help. And I gave it freely. Not because I wanted something or because I had a beef with Shock. It was one of the rare times I didn’t do something for a reward. But you gave me… I can’t tell you how much I’m in awe of you.”

“Don’t be. I should have run sooner.”

My fists curled in rage at the torment she endured to get free. I remembered the bruising, her raspy cough. “Stop—”

Her eyes flashed to mine in question. There was fear in their depths.

I clarified. “Stop beating yourself up. You’ve got help now.”

I needed her to work with me, not against me.

She wasn’t seeing the big picture. I needed her to realize if I wasn’t in this room the entire night, Shock would use that against us. He’d isolate her. And it would make it much easier to break her this time.

“You got a whole club of somebodies to turn to. I hope you realize that.”

“Do I?”

Her hands were shaking. I’d missed something.

“What did I miss? What happened to make you shake like that?”

She stared at her hands like she’d never seen them before. “I…”

I had to tread very carefully here. She spoke the truth when she said she was fragile.

And yet, it was also a lie. Anyone who can hold themselves together when their body is literally trying to shake them apart had to be the strongest person in the world.

“You can tell me… I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but you can if you want. ”

“Jackson.” The tears she was trying to hide clung to her eyelashes. She fought them back with sniffs and swallows until she found her balance. “Baldy was getting a blow job in our pantry.”

I tried not to smile. She’d said “Our.”

“It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not that—” Unbidden, the image of Kate opening the door on that asshole with his pants down around his ankles and some bitch slobbing on his knob flashed in my head. I snickered.

“Jackson. Our food is going there. Your daughter’s cereal.”

“What kind of cereal does she like?”

She glared at me like I was an idiot.

“Kate, love? Help me out here. I can’t get the picture of that hairy asshole getting his dick spit on out of my head now, and I need something to distract me. Anything? If not Zoe’s favorite cereal, tell me why were you looking in the pantry?”

Kate shook her head. Then she started laughing silently. It turned into a snort that shook her whole body. “I was putting the mop away.”

“And?”

“And… I opened the door. There he was. And I just… handed him the mop.” Her giggles turned into sobs. “I thought, what if Zoe had caught that? Would she be safe?”

Oh shit. Now I wasn’t laughing. Because while I could order my men around, there were certain things some of them did that were right on the cliff’s edge of things I’d kill them for.

And while I could guarantee Zoe would be safe if she interrupted Baldy and some whore; she shouldn’t see shit like that, nor could I vouch for all the whores Baldy messed with.

They might start shit. But I could promise Kate one thing, I’d do my damndest to let the entire club know that Zoe and her mother were first in my heart. “He won’t do that again.”

“You can’t guarantee that. Even if you could, there was…is cocaine on our coffee table. If the cops come, we’ll get busted for that.”

Unfortunately, she also had a point there.

“And then what happens to Zoe? Who takes care of her?”

“First things first, are you mad at me, or just all things biker?”

She closed her eyes. “You haven’t heard a word I said.”

“No, I’m hearing you. I’m hearing that this party was a trigger for you. That it was too much too fast. But I’ll tell you why it had to be that way if you please let me try to explain?”

“What is there to explain? You party. You drink, your friends do drugs, I—I can’t say I’m surprised at all. I saw ten times worse at Shock’s, and I hated him for it. I don’t know why I thought you’d be different.”

Fuck . This was going south fast. “Who drove three hours in the snow to pick you up from a hospital?”

She didn’t answer.

“Who… stole you from a patched brother? Who risked their life, their future for you?”

This time, I didn’t wait for her to think.

“I invited every member of my club tonight. And they showed up. They had to see you and Zoe to know who they’re fighting for.

While I’m sure they probably didn’t see the best of you, they sure as hell didn’t see the worst of you, either.

What they did see was you as a person. As a survivor.

As my woman. The only one I’ve ever gone out on a limb for like this.

“I know that sounds egotistical or like I own you or something, but I’m giving it to you straight here, sweetheart. Those men may have shown up to party. But they also saw something they’d never seen before. Me .”

“That’s not egotistical?”

“Let me clarify. They saw me , in love.”

That statement didn’t exactly wow her.

Goddammit . She was going to make me say it. “I love you. I love you so much, I’d do anything to make sure you are safe.”

“Safe isn’t happy.”

“I want that for you, too.”

The silence between us felt like a showdown that started wars. I’d said my peace and had to wait her out. There wasn’t a problem I hadn’t been able to solve, fight, or bide my time on.

“Fruit Loops.”

I tried to catch up where that made sense in the conversation. Was she calling me nuts? Wait. She was letting me in. I’d asked about my daughter’s favorite cereal. “Zoe’s?” I asked to clarify.

Kate nodded. “We’ll need milk, bowls, bleach, towels, and a whole lot of stuff…”

She still hugged herself as if holding the seams together. Or shutting me out. “Will that make you happy?”

I got the evil eye for saying that. “What?” I threw my arms out.

“Taking care of Zoe makes me happy. Seeing her happy makes me happy.”

Ah . This was great insight. And it also sucked . “You aren’t just her mom.” I braved a step closer, then another. “You’re allowed to have something that makes you happy.” I brushed a finger over her hand. Her gaze locked on me, searching my face for clues. Or gauging how far she should trust me.

The corner of her mouth twitched upward.

“Happy.” I reminded her.

Kate’s fingers slipped into the belt loops of my jeans. “What about you?” She tugged me closer.

“I’m always happy.” When I was with her. Unless she was hurt. But even then, there was the unexplainable “rightness” to the things I did to help her. It pushed out all the awful things I’d done and filled me up with something.

Hope?

Maybe.

It was more nebulous than that. Fleeting like the flash of silver scales in dark water. Something you longed to catch, devour, or absorb but were woefully lacking in lure and skill to hold.

“Even when you’re angry?”

Happy when angry? “Hell yeah. I’m alive and about to beat some dumb motherfucker up. And even if I lose, I’m giving it my all just to fuck their shit up.”

She laughed at that. “I worry about you.”

“Don’t. I got it all under control.” As we’d talked, I’d been slowly walking her backward. Her legs hit the bed.

She startled and looked at the mattress behind her. “You certainly seem like you do.”

“Trust me.”

“Never.”

“Smart girl.” I kissed her, swallowing any argument before it was formed. In doing so, we made our horizontal nest and slowly lost our senses and our clothes. I laid back, waiting for Kate to shimmy out of her underwear and admiring her freckled skin and the pale flush of pink in its tone.

My hands skimmed her waist, tracing a pattern of silvery lines that started about two inches from her belly button and disappeared into her mound. She caught my hands.

“Stop. Those are stretch marks.”

From Zoe.

“Let me see.” Now that I knew, I tried to imagine her rounded with child. My breath caught. A wave of sadness threatened to drown me. “I wasn’t there.” I retraced the marks and counted the largest scars. Eight. There were little ones, almost too faint to see.

“I know.”

Was this what guilt felt like?

She nudged me. “Happy.”

I could do that. I pulled her close as I sat up to kiss her mouth. She fit on top of me and rocked against my cock.

It only took moments to get hard and wanting. I had to be inside her. I lifted her away and begged. “Line me up, babe.”

“Kate,” she reminded me.

“Kate.” Her name was reverent on my lips. She fit me. Both of us honed in battles neither of us asked for. But we would win. I’d see to that.

She slipped over my dick, and our bodies bonded over and over.

But I needed more. I clutched her to me, my dick as far in her as it could go, and I rolled until our positions reversed.

Then, as if we hadn’t paused, I continued sliding inside and back out, but this time, deeper and harder than before.

Her legs wrapped around my waist, and she took me to the hilt.

As the pace quickened, I watched the way her eyes fluttered as she tried to keep them open and locked on me. But we were both losing the battle. Sparks of pleasure started behind my balls and shot up my spine as I fought to stay tight. “Babe?”

“A little more. Please ?” Her plea strung out.

I slipped my hand between us and pressed on her mound, hoping I’d hit that clit trigger.

She moaned and clamped onto me with her whole body. The twitches of her cunt hit the spasms of my cock and I joined her with a cry that was too loud. In the haze of passion, I had a fleeting thought to buy Zoe noise-cancelling headphones or some shit.

Then my brain filled with all things Kate. Her mussed hair, her rosy skin, the soft smile on her face, and best of all, the sparkle of happiness in her eyes as she opened them to see me.

Me. First and always.

Just like I saw her first and always .

’Til death do us part. Which was likely tomorrow.