Page 33 of Blood Sings (Beyond the Gloom #1)

I twisted the tarnished brass doorknob, palms damp. “Sel!” I called out and burst into her room.

The embarrassing amount of groveling I’d have to do just to get her to talk to me again made me oddly giddy. She’d been cold toward me since Sighisoara, and I’d had enough. The apology for leaving her behind was already forming on my lips when a wall of scents hit me, so potent my eyes watered.

Selena and Terraknight’s mingled blood hung thick in the air, almost tangible. But there were other, more primal clues that my slow brain failed to process. The musky smell of a recent coupling, the sound of breathless, soft moans. Oh, shit.

My mind finally caught up with my senses, and I realized I’d barged in at the worst possible moment.

“Go away,” Selena groaned, her voice muffled by the pillow she’d buried her face in. “I’m still pissed at you.”

Terraknight rolled to the edge of the four-poster bed and rose with the fluid grace of a panther, wrapping a silk sheet around his waist. The fabric slipped a little, presenting a perfectly sculpted buttock gleaming in the dancing light.

“I’ll leave you ladies to work through your issues,” he said, his voice a melody of gravel and honey. He never sang, or at least I’d never heard him, but if he ever did, I was certain women from every corner of the Outer Wards would trip over themselves just to catch a note.

“Traitor!” Sel hissed at him, but her tone melted into a purr when he shot her a wink.

Terraknight and I hadn’t talked about his harsh dismissal at Phoenix’s wake, but we usually sorted out our differences with silent nods. He navigated around the room’s dark wood furniture—a heavy mahogany wardrobe, a velvet-cushioned chaise lounge, and a writing desk with intricate carvings—and I couldn’t stop myself from staring.

He wasn’t handsome or sexy in the traditional sense—he was sizzling hot. His features were all rough angles, but his autumn-toned eyes, intense and lit from within, immediately conjured thoughts of tangled sheets and passionate Blood Pacts. Add to that his skin—the rich, deep brown of the finest dark chocolate—and a physique that looked like it was chiseled from living stone, and you had a combination that was downright lethal.

“Hey!” Selena clicked her fingers, the sound sharp in the vaulted room. “Eyes up here, missy. He’s taken. Find your own blood source.”

Heat flushed my cheeks as Terraknight’s low, husky laugh echoed from beyond the bathroom door. The old pipes groaned as the shower started and cloaked his movements.

“I should have knocked,” I mumbled, shifting awkwardly on the creaky floorboards.

She sat up, letting the cover fall away, and fixed me with a glare fit to singe hair. “You think?”

I scrubbed my face, hoping to wipe away the layer of fatigue. We’d never fought like this before, and it was keeping me up during the day. “About the last mission…” I began, but Selena’s expression turned glacial, and I stopped speaking.

“You mean about you leaving me behind and nearly getting yourself killed? Again?” The bite in her tone made me wince.

Guilt burrowed deep inside me. “I’m sorry. I know I screwed up.”

“Screwed up?” Her voice rose to a near shout. “Your guts were mush, your bones ground to dust! Nothing inside your body was solid anymore. You didn’t have enough blood left for me to heal you. If Harbinger hadn’t stepped in to offer his blood, you’d be a skin bag!”

Harbinger offered? I’d assumed Selena had instructed him what to do. The contradiction made my head spin, especially because she hadn’t been the only one treating me with a cold shoulder. I hadn’t seen Harbinger since we spent the night together—and that was more than forty-eight hours ago.

I stepped further into the room, palms raised in a gesture of peace. “I know, Sel. I felt every bone shatter inside me. The last thing I wanted was for you to go through that again, trust me, please. But you have to understand, I did it to save Phoenix. There wasn’t time to—”

“To what? To trust me?” Her scathing look tightened my stomach. She stood, crossing the oriental rug to her dresser, unbothered by her nudity. “I know I was close to bloodlust, but I still could’ve managed myself.”

“You were in far worse shape than I was,” I countered. “The risk was too high. If you’d lost control…”

Selena yanked on an oversized t-shirt, then whirled to face me. “That wasn’t your call to make, A. We’re partners. We face these things together . We came here together. Separating was idiotic. I could’ve helped with that Nebula, held off the Ignises myself. Phoenix…”

The unsaid words floated in the air: Phoenix could’ve still been alive.

The world spun and kicked me in the face. “You’re right,” I whispered. “I was trying to protect you, the guild, but I ended up hurting everyone. Myself included. I’m sorry.”

Selena’s expression softened, her anger giving way to worry. “I get why you did it,” she said quietly. “But I hate being left behind, especially when you’re in danger. Promise me, no more solo heroics?”

“I promise,” I said, closing the distance between us. “From now on, we stick together no matter what.”

Selena studied me, her dark eyes searching my face. Then, with a small nod, she opened her arms. “Come here, you idiot.”

I fell into her embrace, but her floral scent mixed with Terraknight’s musk was almost overwhelming in the close quarters. My gums started itching, reminding me I needed to feed.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” Selena murmured. “I can’t lose you, A.”

“You won’t,” I promised, squeezing her tight.

She groaned, tapping my shoulders to release her, and as she backtracked to the bed, a devious glint entered her eyes. “So, spill—how was it?”

“How was what?”

She rolled her eyes. “The Blood Pact, you dolt.”

My heart stumbled, then sped up. I turned away, fixing my gaze on the mirror in the corner. Memories flooded my mind: Radu’s lips on mine, his teeth gently nipping my bottom lip, our shared breath more intimate than anything I’d done before. A quiver danced through my muscles, a delightful burn pooling in my belly.

Dear heart, why him?

It wasn’t just the physical pleasure or his intoxicating blood. What drew me in was that overwhelming, single-minded focus he radiated when he concentrated. Call it feminine intuition, but I sensed that, in a Blood Pact, he’d be wholly committed. He’d approach intimacy like other men waged war.

Part of me—a dangerous, reckless part—wanted to be the center of his world, even if just for a few precious moments. I craved every part of him, mind and body. And that frightened me even more than the prospect of building an addiction to his blood.

I slumped against the wall, feeling the peeling wallpaper catch on my silk dress. “There was no Blood Pact,” I said.

“Seriously?” Selena scoffed. The rusted springs in her mattress creaked as she leaned forward. “You have the balls to deny it when you reek of him?” She stretched her neck and inhaled the air, like a bloodhound on a scent.

“It was him,” I admitted, striving for calm but failing miserably. “He didn’t bite me. Happy now?”

Her approving nod twisted the knife in my stomach. “So he does have a brain, after all.”

I leveled her with my glare of doom. “How would you feel if Terraknight did that to you?” I snarled, but my voice sounded quiet and cold. “Wouldn’t it make you feel… I don’t know—undeserving? Like you’re not enough ?”

“Well, if you put it like that, I’d be pissed. Obviously.”

Obviously.

“But he’s not my outlier,” she continued, raising a finger to silence my protest. “And I’m not his commanding officer. There’s a reason for these rules, A. It’s not just about him, or his varcolac heritage. If you grow too attached, you endanger not just yourself, but everyone around you.”

Gah. I pushed off the wall, pacing the length of the rug. The rational part of my brain knew she was right, but every other part of me rebelled against her logic.

“I know,” I said, brushing my fingers through my hair. “I know all of that. But Sel, I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s driving me crazy.” His scent clung to me; I couldn’t get rid of it.

Concern twisted her face, her brows furrowing. “Is it the blood? Are you craving it?”

“No more than I did after the Initiation.” I shook my head. “It was… the kiss. He kissed me instead of biting me.”

“He refused your blood for a kiss?” she demanded, aversion curling her lip.

“It was more than a simple kiss,” I defended, then bit my tongue. “That’s beside the point. You’re giving our ‘relationship’ too much credit. He’s confusing the hell out of me, yes. But there’s nothing more to worry about. I’m pretty sure it was a one-off thing, since he’s been avoiding me like I’m carrying the plague.”

I tried to rationalize it. He knew I was attracted to him. For him, this was probably just a game. I was a pureblood, his natural enemy. Not exactly the type of woman he’d settle down with. And I… I wasn’t the kind of woman who could settle down with him.

“I’m going to be a queen, Sel. Court life is all I know. Any relationship with Harbinger would be reputation suicide. I’d have to abdicate, leave my coven.” I pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to stave off the mounting pressure. “The throne would remain in the Wurdulaks’ clutches. I’d be a traitor to my country, a pariah. And I would have no power to help end this.”

“A, you’re getting way ahead of yourself—”

“Am I?” I spun to face her. “Even as we are now, if the Council ever finds out about him—about us not reporting him—they could put us on trial. They’d likely organize a Nightwatch hunt to kill him.” A growl rattled deep within. “By the Moon, what was I even thinking getting involved with him?”

Selena stood and crossed the room to place a steadying hand on my shoulder. “You’re right,” she said softly. “Using Harbinger as a blood source is one thing, but you and him together… it’s not a good idea.”

I had every reason to stay away, yet I craved him. Harbinger pulled me in like a black hole. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life.

But no. This couldn’t happen. I knew my heart too well. If I let myself get close to him, attachment would be inevitable. It would be so hard not to fall for him. And once he tired of me, he’d shatter my heart into a million pieces, leaving me to pick up the jagged shards alone.

Giving in to this feeling would be like diving into a stormy sea. I’d be swept away, lost in the current. I would drown.

I didn’t want to drown.

I couldn’t afford to drown.

During those fleeting moments with him, he’d made me feel safe, cherished, desired, essential. But it was all smoke and mirrors.

I needed to snap out of this fantasy. The more I dwelled on it, the more furious I became—at him, at myself, at the whole damn situation.

“He needs someone to fawn over him anyway. And that’s definitely not me,” I said, rolling my eyes.

The bathroom door opened, and Terraknight emerged, looking… Underworld’s balls. His dark skin gleamed, still damp from the shower, and he’d donned an all-leather ensemble: shiny black boots, leather pants that hugged his sculpted thighs, and a black leather cuirass strapped across his ribs. An oversized sword, rusted and blunt, dangled from his back.

What the hell had I interrupted?

I arched a brow. “Should I even bother to ask?”

“Burebista,” Terraknight provided with a smug grin, “the greatest king of Solanthia.”

Selena’s hungry eyes roamed over him. “We had different views about mortal prowess, and he was working hard to prove me wrong,” she explained as her voice grew throaty. “We’re still debating.”

Terraknight prowled toward her, scooped her up, and slumped on the bed with her sideways on his lap. She let out an uncharacteristically girlish shriek.

“I’m sure you’ll reach a conclusion eventually,” I muttered, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice.

Envy ate away at me—envy of my best friend, of her ability to separate her heart from the simple pleasure of a Blood Pact, of her life. For once, I wished it was her bloodright to rule over the Republic and mine to head a department of magical geniuses.

Terraknight’s smirk was slier than a fox’s. “So, who’s fawning over whom?”

Great. He’d been eavesdropping.

“Aurora was just saying that Harbinger needs a pleaser-babe, instead of a strong, independent woman,” Selena oh-so-helpfully supplied.

“A pleaser-babe?” He frowned.

“Oh, you know. Someone to cater to his every whim.” I placed a hand on my chest and lowered my voice. “Oh, exalted captain, shall I fetch your slippers? Would you like me to fan you with palm leaves while feeding you grapes? Perhaps I could write a sonnet about your mastery in battle? Or maybe you’d prefer I just grovel at your feet and praise your infinite wisdom?”

It wasn’t until I finished my tirade that I noticed Selena had gone eerily still. She sat frozen, her eyes fixed on a point just above my head.

A draft fluttered my dress. The hairs at my nape stood on end. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Selena’s slow nod confirmed my worst fear. Terraknight pressed his lips together, clearly fighting back laughter.

Damn it. How had I not heard him open the door? And where was that intoxicating scent of his when I needed an early warning?

“I believe the correct phrasing would be ‘May I grovel at your feet, sir?’” Harbinger’s deep voice sent an involuntary shiver through my body. “If you’re going to mock me, at least do it with proper grammar.”

He moved into my line of sight, his arms folded across his chest in a way that made his biceps swell. As if that wasn’t enough, he was wearing loose-fitting gray sweats and a shirt that had seen better days, torn in all the right places. It was totally unfair. By all rights, he should’ve developed a terrible case of acne, lost his perfect hair, or at least gotten a bit pudgy in the last couple of days. But no, he looked good—like this time apart had been the best thing that had happened to him.

Just breathe. Don’t let him see how affected you are.

He produced a small vial of blood and offered it to me. I reached for it, and our fingers brushed. His touch lingered, sending a spark of electricity up my arm. Golden feathers swirled around his pupils, dancing among tiny flecks of crimson.

My heart skipped a beat and rose to my throat. His lips parted to reveal the edge of his teeth.

“I left this for you in the icebox, Projector,” he rasped, a growl emerging from his throat. “Terraknight should’ve given it to you yesterday.”

At the mention of his name, Terraknight bolted upright, catapulting Selena from his lap. She stumbled to her feet, her wide eyes darting between us.

“Shit! I forgot,” Terraknight said, running his hands over his short-cropped hair.

A flash of gold rolled across Harbinger’s irises. I snatched the bottle and retreated backward. His face showed no emotion. No triumph or rage, nothing at all.

Terraknight’s gaze flicked from me to Harbinger, then back to me again, his brow furrowed in confusion or concern—I couldn’t tell which.

“I’m sorry, Projector.” He tapped Harbinger on the chest and said, “You. Sparring room. Now,” before stepping out into the hallway.

Harbinger followed without another word.

I slammed the door shut and leaned against it, my heart pounding as I tried to make sense of what had just happened.

Harbinger. Radu. The hybrid. The legendary outlier. A maddening, exasperating, perilous man who pushed me to the edge of sanity and made my thoughts race and my mouth run wild.

He’d kissed me. Done more than that… so much more. He’d let his guard down, revealed a gentler side I hadn’t known existed.

And then he’d bled into a bottle instead of touching me again.

I slid down the door, clutching the vial to my chest. I understood his reasoning—keeping me fed, protecting his team. But was that all there was to it?

Was any of it real? This… whatever it was between him and me.

No. Probably not.

With my palms pressed to my eyes, I fought back the sting of tears. I was fooling myself. This desperate yearning for someone to accept me, love me for who I was—it was clouding my judgment. It’s easy to see what you want to see when you’re starved for affection. I’d fallen into that trap before and gotten burned. Never again.

To Harbinger, I was likely nothing more than a puzzle to solve, a challenge to overcome. He’d played his part perfectly, drawing me in with sweet gestures and smooth words. And I’d fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

That was the cold, harsh truth. Ugly and inescapable as it was.

Now I had to accept it and move on.