Page 30 of Blood Sings (Beyond the Gloom #1)

I usually tried not to be an asshole, but sometimes the bastard in me just couldn’t help itself. Old habits die hard, and all that. But hell, if an original could defy her nature and risk her immortal ass to save a mixed-breed, maybe I could try not being a complete dick. Be the bigger person.

You just don’t mess with a Nebula if you’re not ready to meet your maker.

She hunched over, looking like her world had just imploded, and guilt sucker-punched me in the side. Maybe I should’ve softened the blow, eased her into our fucked-up reality. She appeared as green as they come, na?ve enough to think coming here beat whatever shitstorm she’d left behind.

What lies did the Republic feed people about the Outer Wards? Some fantasy land where we braided each other’s hair and shat rainbows?

Rage burned through me, hotter than an Ignis. Ever since Princess Tepes crash-landed into my life, my varcolac had been howling for blood, clawing at its cage. It made me reactive, irritable. The constant hard-on sure as shit didn’t help.

Maybe I’d drag Terra’s naked ass from the lieutenants’ bed out for some sparring. Nothing took the edge off like breaking a few ribs—mine or his, it didn’t matter to me.

A tremor tickled my thighs. I glanced down to where our knees touched.

It wasn’t me shaking. It was her.

Crimson eyes brimmed with tears, and my heart sank. Fuck. I’d done it now. I’d officially terrified the original.

“How…” her voice cracked, hoarse as if she’d screamed her cords raw, “how could the reconnaissance teams be so wrong? We could have saved so many. My father…”

The duvet slipped, and she once again lay bare before me, all curves and vulnerability in that flimsy excuse for a dress.

My mouth went dry. Thoughts spiraled into dangerous territory. She had a big mouth and fought when she should flee. None of it should’ve endeared her to me. And yet…

I wiped my face and tried to banish the image of those tight, pink nipples from my mind. From the moment her fangs sank into me, it was like a switch had flipped. I couldn’t focus on anything else but her squirming under me, moaning my name.

Fuck me. It took every ounce of willpower not to adjust myself, to free my poor cock from the chokehold of my waistband.

“Hey,” I said, voice rough as gravel. My hand squeezed her knee through the quilt, as gently as I could manage. “You alright?”

She looked at me with dewy eyes, doing a terrible job of hiding her sniffle. “I’m fine,” she murmured.

Bullshit. But I knew a wall when I saw one.

“If you say so.” I started to rise, giving her space. “We can pick this up—”

“Wait!” She made this gasping sort of squeal, and it was the most astonishing sound I’d heard. Her hand shot out, gripping my shirt. “Please.”

I froze. Damn, she looked young. That perfect, ageless beauty all those Republic bastards had, like the marble statues Ma used to collect for her summer garden. If the projector hadn’t mentioned her age earlier, I might’ve pegged her close to Ember.

But, then again, those eyes. Those scarlet pools that had seen too much. That gaze added a good five decades she had on her.

You rarely got that look before hitting a century.

“Anything to learn what I can do, right?”

A trace of a smile teased at her lips, fragile as spun glass. Her shoulders hunched, a subtle flinch rippling through her body. She looked… breakable, like something daintier than flesh and bones shaped her underneath. Prolonged hunger did that to purebloods, wore them down to something almost mortal. It unsettled my stomach to see it.

Guilt, anger, and—fuck it—concern for the original tossed and roiled inside me like a toxic cocktail. Pearl had told me their blood supply ran dry days ago. I’d let my hatred blindside me, missed her running on empty. Great leader I was.

If I’d made sure she was at full strength, maybe… No. That road led nowhere good. Phoenix was gone, and no amount of self-loathing would bring her back.

I sank back down, holding myself back from reaching out. “Alright, princess. I’m all ears.”

She released my shirt, chin trembling, and something squirmed in my chest. Like a swarm of worms wriggling in the muck. Damn it. I shouldn’t care. Shouldn’t want to…

“I can’t be certain how long I was unconscious,” her voice strained, “but when I came to, everything was engulfed in flames. The heat was overwhelming.”

Her throat worked as she swallowed, and a mind-numbing craving to taste her blood slammed into me. Get it together, asshole.

“Father,” she rasped, and for a second, I believed she might break. But she straightened her shoulders, pressing on. “His upper body was… there was nothing left but charred remains.”

Oh, you absolute dipshit. I’d pushed her too far.

I combed my fingers through my hair, gripping my nape. Part of me wanted to shut this down, but I needed the whole story. Had to know if this was the outlier I’d been chasing.

A shiver wracked her frame, and I helped her pull the quilt over her shoulders. “Go on.”

She gave a wan smile, clasping the fabric with trembling hands. “There was a terrible wailing from outside,” she said, her eyes growing unfocused, lost in the memory. “I managed to crawl out of the hatch and saw… a monster. It was massive, its skin gleaming like jewels—emerald, sapphire, ruby. I thought it beautiful, until I saw its face. Those eyes, bright orange, piercing… they stared right at me.”

Her breath hitched, and I leaned in.

“The pilot… he shouted for me to run. Opened fire. But it just kept coming. The bullets sparked off its steely hide in bright flashes. Then it…” She jabbed her arm forward, fingers splayed like a claw. “Thrust it right through his stomach and ripped his heart out.”

She shuddered, and without thinking, I reached out, my hand hovering near hers. She didn’t seem to notice.

“I screamed myself hoarse. Thought I was alone, but then…” Her eyes locked onto mine, glistening. “Someone came. He burst through the smoke and fire, wielding a beveled sword, just like yours—”

The whole damn sky crashed down on me. Her lips kept moving, but I couldn’t hear a thing. My lungs seized, each breath slicing through my chest. It felt like invisible hands were strangling me.

“Did he… did he kill it?” I managed to choke out.

She nodded, a troubled expression crossing her face. “He moved like lightning, his blade cutting through the beast like a knife through butter. I was young, in shock. I couldn’t comprehend such speed. Now I understand better.

“He saved me, but… I was terrified of him,” she continued, her gaze dropping. “Even then, I knew what silver hair meant. What he was…” She hesitated, then looked up at me. “Um… Harbinger?”

“Hm?”

“What is your family name?”

“Lowe.” My voice sounded distant, miles away.

Her eyes widened in recognition, and something inside me cracked. “Lowe…” She rolled it off her tongue, her accent giving it a subtle lilt. “My savior said his surname was unique to his father’s clan. He mentioned an older brother, too serious for his own good, but I remember his eyes.” She leaned closer, her fingers ghosting over my forearm. “A shade darker than yours, but they would light up like a flame when he talked about him. His name was Conin, and—”

“My little brother.” I felt like I’d been gutted.

“I thought as much.” She slipped her feet to the floor, gripping my hand. “He took me to his base, kept me safe until Father’s men came. The way he spoke about you… it was clear you meant everything to him. He was eager to get back to you, said he’d nearly completed his service. Did he… did he not make it?”

Ice seeped into my veins, the kind of cold that settled in your bones and never left, no matter how much wood you fed to the fire. I’d gotten used to it. So why the hell was I letting her touch me? Seducing me with a warmth that would never be enough to thaw my heart.

“He died in the line of duty. Eastern front, thirty-five years ago.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Her constant apologizing made me seriously consider putting my fist through a wall. I yanked my hand away, my softness becoming a hardened shell again. “What for? You didn’t kill him.”

She bit her lip, and I cursed myself for noticing.

“My magic manifested after Dad died. That’s when I learned about his sentence,” I said, honoring our deal.

Her eyes went wide. “Is it hereditary? Can all varcolacs do what you do?”

I barked out a laugh. “Wouldn’t that be something? It runs in my clan. Conin should’ve had it too, explains why you couldn’t keep up with him.” Pride swelled in my chest, and I thumped it away. “Chronoportal’s a type of time travel. Opens little pockets in other dimensions.”

“You can see the future?” she breathed.

“Not far. Risk getting stuck otherwise.”

“Has that happened? Getting trapped?”

“Yeah, at the start. Before I knew how to control it. Thought I could end this war.” My teeth were clenched. “Chronoportal doesn’t work like that. Can’t change the future. I got stuck in between worlds. Took me three years to find my way back, though only minutes passed here. Learned my lesson about pushing it too far.”

She sighed, relief painting her face. “Thank the Moon you returned.”

I studied her, trying to figure out if she really meant all that talk about halfbloods not being the enemy, about her government’s injustice. What makes her different from the rest of her kind who think we are scum?

“Remember when you asked what I wanted to do when the war ends?”

“Y-yes, of course.”

“Hard to plan when you might not see tomorrow.” I stood, and she craned her neck to meet my eyes. “But there’s one thing I need to do. Been doing it for thirty-five years—searching for my brother.”

“You mean… his remains? But you said—”

“We should get going.”

Why bother telling her? She’d be gone before she learned the truth anyway.

I grabbed the chest, tossing it at the foot of her bed just as Terraknight’s voice boomed through the door. “Cap, breakfast’s ready.”

I scrubbed my skin raw, but her scent clung like a parasite. Vanilla and peaches. Fuck. The storm outside matched my mood, rain hammering the boards nailed over my window.

I cranked the hot water till it burned, steam choking the cramped shower, but it did jack shit to wash away the memory of her touch. Of her bite. Of her.

Slamming the faucet off, I stood there, dripping and seething. I growled, snatched the towel, and stormed into my room, dripping water behind me.

The baby zmeu launched itself from its favorite perch atop the bookshelf, scuttling under the bed with a frantic scrape of claws. Its fat little ass wiggled as it squeezed into the tight space. Any other day, I might’ve found it funny. Not now.

I yanked on my leather pants and grabbed the navy T-shirt off the bed. Before I’d even pulled it down, I was out the door, fabric still bunched around my shoulders.

Halfway down the stairs, I realized I’d forgotten my boots. “Shit.” I glanced back, weighing my options. Fuck it. Who needs shoes when the world’s going to hell?

That’s when I heard her voice, soft and hesitant, drifting down the foyer. “About Phoenix… I’m truly sorry. If only I had reached her sooner…”

A snarl built in my chest. Was she trying to get herself killed? Empty apologies were the last thing my guild needed right now. I picked up the pace, my jaw clenched tight enough to crack a molar. Princess and her fucking sorrys.

The war room was so quiet you could hear the bugs crawl in the corners. I slid into my seat, eyeing Terraknight’s spread for Phoenix’s wake—fresh bread steamed next to a tub of golden butter, mashed potatoes towered in a pot, and a rib-eye roast lorded over a bowl of cabbage soup. My stomach growled, reminding me it had been way too long since I’d eaten.

But nobody dared make a move.

Terraknight broke first, ripping into the bread. I watched, mouth watering, as he slathered on butter, the fat melting under his blade like a snowflake above fire.

“You’re sorry?” Hummingbird exploded, leaping to his feet. The tablecloth came with him, sending my fork and knife clattering to the floor. “What the fuck are you apologizing for? You don’t give a shit if a halfblood or two die, as long as you get home safe, right? Cut the crap with that meek act.”

I shot Terraknight a look, eyebrows raised. He shrugged and tore into his bread. The bastard.

The projector’s face flushed red. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. It only fueled Hummingbird’s rage.

“Listen,” he snarled, knuckles white at his sides. “We can play pretend when we’ve got nothing better to do. You say you never discriminate, you’re so pure and noble, you’re a bloody saint. But read the fucking room!” His voice broke. “We just lost one of our own. We can’t stroke your ego right now, so get a goddamn clue, you hypocrite.”

“Hyp—” she gasped, color draining from her face. Beside her, the lieutenant tensed like a coiled spring.

I reached for a piece of bread, needing something to occupy my hands. My appetite waged a losing battle with the growing tension in my stomach.

“Or what?” Hummingbird went on, spewing venom with every word. “You think we don’t care that our friend’s dead? Oh right, to you, halfbloods are expendable. Just stupid animals, not worthy of your precious pureblood attention, right ?”

Tears welled in her eyes. “That’s not true! I never—”

“Not true?” Hummingbird slammed his hands on the table, making her flinch and my bread fall from my fingers. “You’re safe inside your walls while we fight in this hellhole your people created. Living in comfort while we suffer. If that’s not treating us like livestock, what is it? Why the fuck are you even here?”

She dropped her gaze, hands twisting in her lap. I wanted to defend her—she didn’t deserve Hummingbird’s full-on rage—but she needed to hear this. Better to face reality than to live in a fairytale. Maybe then she’d leave. We could get back to our fucked-up normal, and she’d go back to what? Parties in castles and plush pillows. But even in my mind, the lie rang hollow.

My guildmates nodded along, some indifferent, others seething. That dull, resigned look crept back into their eyes. It made my blood boil, killing what little appetite I had left.

“You never called us halfbloods? Bull-fucking-shit!” Hummingbird’s voice rose to a roar. “You think we’re out here for fun? You’ve trapped us like animals, forced us to fight! Millions dead, and you think showing up here with your holier-than-thou attitude makes it right?” He jabbed a finger at her. “You’ve never even bothered to learn our real names!”

That sent her tears rolling down her cheeks. Miss Popescu, stiff as a ramrod, wrapped her arms around the projector’s slumped shoulders. I wanted to comfort her too, and the thought hit worse than Terraknight’s punches. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Hummingbird.” Terraknight’s voice was low, a warning.

“What? You gonna defend this blood-eyed—”

“Enough!” I roared, driving my fist into the table. Everyone snapped their eyes to me like I’d grown a second head.

“Fine, I get it,” Hummingbird drawled, slumping into his chair. But the fight still burned in his gaze.

Terraknight sighed and pinned the projector with a hard stare. “You should leave.”

She looked up, eyes red-rimmed and pleading. “Terraknight, I—”

“We’re not on the battlefield,” he cut her off, his voice like ice. “There’s no need for you to give orders. Hummingbird went too far, but that doesn’t mean we’re in the mood to play nice right now.”

I knew he wasn’t blaming her. None of us were. Losing Phoenix had ripped us open, and we were desperate for any target to unleash our rage on. The projector had happened to be in the blast radius.

Her chair screeched against the floor as she bolted up. She stumbled toward the porch doors, looking like a wounded deer. I wished I could call her back, say… something. But instead, I bit my tongue and let her go. It was better this way—for all of us.