Page 11

11

GAIDA

I burst through the library doors, my head spinning with everything we’ve just discussed. Two charges? Two sire bonds? And one of them would be Felix, whom I haven’t even been intimate with yet because we’re waiting for the right time. The idea of turning him, of binding him to me in the most primal way possible, sends a complicated swirl of emotions raging through me.

Heading straight for the dining hall, I expect to find it ramshackle and empty. Instead, it’s bustling with activity, with staff and students alike acting as if nothing has happened.

Gotta love MistHallow, where burying your head in the sand works.

Marching across to the blood dispenser, I shove an unwitting vampire out of the way and grab two to-go cups, shoving one under and tapping my foot impatiently.

“Hey,” the vampire snaps at me.

I turn and hiss at her, baring my fangs.

She backs down instantly, and I grimace before turning back to pick up my full cup. I take a sip and wait for the second cup and then I move out of the way with grace to allow the annoyed as fuck queue behind me to continue.

Finding an empty table, I sit down and sip my blood, wishing it was real, wishing it was Luke’s, or Dante’s, or Felix’s… that thought sits uneasily with me. Felix’s blood. Sacrificing him for the worlds to not end and then turning him, making him mine in ways that would never be broken, never be surpassed, never be replaced.

I hunker down and gulp back the rest of the first cup before picking up the second.

I sense him before I see him, but I pretend not to.

Felix slides into the seat across from me, his grey eyes intense and searching. He doesn’t speak immediately, just watches me drink my blood.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mutter finally, setting down the empty cup.

“Too bad, because we need to.”

I meet his gaze reluctantly. “There has to be another way.”

“Maybe. But if there isn’t...” He leans forward, his elbows on the table. “I need you to understand something, Gaida. I’m not afraid to die if it means stopping Mashtar, because spoiler alert, if we don’t stop him, we all die anyway. Maybe you will live if he deems the Blood Queen worthy enough. The rest of us?” He shakes his head. “Chopped liver.”

“Well, I’m afraid to lose you,” I snap, crushing the empty cup in my hand. “So that puts us at an impasse.”

His lips quirk into a half-smile. “Not necessarily.”

I study his face, trying to read what’s behind those calculating grey eyes. “You’re actually considering it, aren’t you? Becoming a vampire.”

“I’ve spent my entire life defining myself by my magick. It’s who I am. It’s what makes me... me.”

“And you think becoming a vampire would change that?”

“Wouldn’t it?” His voice is quiet, almost vulnerable. “Everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve studied?—”

“I don’t think you would lose your magick. Not if Luke didn’t.”

My eyes are instantly drawn over his shoulder when Luke strides into the dining hall, his eyes everywhere but on me. I guess MistHallow is back to normal operations then.

“It’s a risk I have to consider carefully. It isn’t necessarily becoming a vampire that I’m worried about. Although I don’t expect it would be a walk in the park. At least I would match.”

“Match?”

“You three.”

I frown. “Felix, you don’t have to be like us. Don’t make this decision based on us.”

He sighs and sits back. “I’ve spent my whole life on the outside, Gaida. And now, that gap seems even greater.”

Reaching across the table to take his hand, I shake my head. “You’ve never been on the outside with us.”

His fingers are warm against mine, and I’m suddenly struck by how different they would feel if he were a vampire. They would be cool to the touch, like Luke’s.

“Haven’t I?” he asks with a sad smile. “You three have your blood bond, your shared nature. You understand each other in ways I can’t.”

“We’re all different, Felix. That’s what makes us work.”

He doesn’t answer, just stares at our joined hands with an expression I can’t quite decipher. The emotions rolling off him are complex and painful. Resignation, fear, determination, and something deeper that feels like longing.

“The sire bond,” he says finally, looking up at me. “What is it like? With Luke?”

I hesitate, trying to find the words to describe something so intimate, so profound, so new . “I can’t really answer that yet. It’s still so new.”

“How do you feel about him now?”

“The same but deeper, more intense, more vivid. If I thought I would do anything for him before, I know I would now. It’s wild, and the passion we shared earlier was incredible… that worries you, doesn’t it?”

“The passion part? Kind of. We can’t have sex until after the sacrifice. Even if it works. I could die without ever knowing how you feel in my arms.”

“Fuck,” I mutter, tears springing to my tears. Those blasted blood tears that alarm Felix. He moves quickly around the table to sit next to me, pulling me closer so that I bleed all over his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper through the tears.

“Shh,” he murmurs, his hand stroking my hair.

Felix pulls back just enough to look at me, his thumb gently wiping away a crimson streak from my cheek. “If this works—if we do this—what happens next? For us, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “The sire bond with Luke is intense. Adding another would be...”

“Complicated?”

“To put it mildly.”

He studies my face with those perceptive grey eyes. “Would you resent me for it?”

“The question is, would you resent me?”

“I don’t think that would be an option.”

“I wouldn’t resent you. If we do this, we do it because we both want it, not because it’s a band-aid for a worse situation.”

“But that’s just it, isn’t it. There are two choices.”

“Three. We can find another way. Lock Mashtar’s sword up where he can’t disappear, and no one will ever find him.”

“And where would that be then?”

I lock gazes with him and sigh. “Fuck knows.”

My gaze wanders back over to Luke. He seems oblivious to my stare, but I know by his tense stance that he feels me. The sudden rush of love I have for him staggers me, and I have to look away. “Felix. If you decide to go through with this, and I’m not saying that you do, but if you do, I will sire you. We will deal with anything after that together.”

“And if I die?”

I stand up, pulling him up with me. “Take us to my room,” I murmur.

In a flash of magick, he transports us to my bedroom. Pulling away from him, I get undressed, slowly, deliberately, seductively.

“What are you doing?” he croaks,

“Showing you how it would feel to have me in your arms. We can’t have sex, but we can lie together naked. I want you to know how this feels and what we have to gain.”

“Or lose.”

I ignore his pessimism and move into his space to help him with his shirt buttons. “We’ve waited because we wanted to be ready for that step. Now we have no choice. But I’m ready, Felix, are you?”

His hands tremble slightly as he allows me to undress him, layer by layer, until we’re both standing naked. “Yes. I’m ready. You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, his hands hovering just above my skin, not quite touching me.

I take his hands and place them on my waist. “Touch me, Felix.”

The first contact of his warm palms against my cool skin sends a shiver through me. His touch is hesitant at first, then more confident as he explores the curves of my body. I guide him to the bed, pulling him down beside me.

For a long moment, we simply lie together, my skin against his, the heat of his body warming mine. His heartbeat is strong and steady beneath my palm as I trace the contours of his chest, memorising every inch of him.

“I’ve imagined this,” he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. “But the reality is better.”

I smile, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “How does it feel?”

“Perfect,” he says, his arms tightening around me. “Terrifying.”

“Terrifying?”

His grey eyes find mine in the dim light of my bedroom. “Because now I know exactly what I’d be losing.”

The weight of his words settles between us, and I feel tears welling up again. “Felix?—”

“No,” he says, pressing a finger to my lips. “Don’t say it. We both know what needs to happen. The ritual has to be performed, and I’m the only one who can do it. My only condition is that if I die...” He takes a deep breath. “If I die and can’t be turned, I need you to promise me something.”

I prop myself up on one elbow, looking down at him. “Anything.”

“Live. Don’t waste what we have trying to avenge me or bring me back. Just live, Gaida. Be happy with Luke and Dante.”

A single blood tear escapes, falling onto his chest. “That’s not fair.”

“None of this is fair,” he says, wiping his thumb across my cheek to catch another blood tear. “And I need you to promise me.”

I shake my head, pressing my face against his chest. “I can’t promise that. I can’t promise to be happy without you.”

“Then promise to try.”

His fingers tangle in my hair, gently tilting my face up to look at him. The defencelessness in his eyes nearly breaks me.

“I promise to try,” I whisper.

Felix pulls me closer, his heartbeat strong against my ear. We lie twisted together, sharing warmth and comfort in what might be our last peaceful moment.

He seems to come to some sort of decision when he rolls me over and looms over me. He drops his mouth to mine, and I gasp into his mouth. Our soul bond ignites and practically sets the room on fire.

I moan into his mouth, my hands reaching up to fist in his dark hair. The passion between us is fierce, but we both know we can’t cross that final line. Not until after the ritual. Not until we know whether he’ll live or die.

His lips trail down my neck, and I arch against him. “Felix,” I whisper, my voice breaking.

“I know,” he murmurs against my skin. “I feel it too.”

We explore each other with hands and lips. His magick flows around us, creating a cocoon of warmth and connection that intensifies everything.

“I’ll do the ritual. I want you to turn me.”

His sudden words snap against my heart. “Are you sure?”

“As sure as I can be about something this monumental.” His thumb traces my lower lip. “I won’t lie and say I’m not scared. But the alternative, the thought of the worlds ending and dying anyway, is worse.”

I cup his face. “Then I will become your sire. I will save you, Felix. I can’t, I won’t live without you.”

He nods once and then ducks his head to take my nipple in his mouth. His cock is raging, and I wish I could guide it inside me, but it will have to wait. Our first time will be with him as a vampire. I won’t accept anything less, but it will be different to how we wanted it. Different to how he expected it. I arch my back as he trails his mouth between my breasts and over my stomach. He parts my legs, and I whimper when he drops his mouth to my clit.

My hips buck as his tongue flicks me before he sucks the sensitive nub into his mouth and grinds his teeth gently.

“Felix,” I gasp, my fingers tangling in his dark hair.

His groan vibrates against me, and I climb rapidly toward a climax. He slides two fingers inside me, twisting them as his tongue continues its relentless assault.

“Let go,” he murmurs against my pussy. “I want to see what I do to you.”

“Fuck, Felix!” My body arches off the bed as waves of pleasure crash over me. I ride his face through my orgasm, making him grunt with pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re perfect, Gaida,” he groans.

I pull his head up by his hair and roll us over so I’m straddling him. I kiss him deeply, tasting myself on his lips. Letting him go, I wiggle down and grasp his cock in my hand before I lick the tip.

“Holy hellfire,” he groans. “Oh, fuck that feels good.”

“You’ve never…?” I ask with a wicked smile.

He shakes his head, a soft smirk on his lips. “I’ve never wanted it.”

“Do you want it now?”

“Fuck, yes, Gaida. Fuck, I love you and I need your hot mouth around my cock. Suck me, vampire princess. Make me come.”

“Fucking hell, Felix,” I say with a giggle. “You know how to talk dirty to a girl.”

I don’t waste another second before taking him into my mouth, savouring his gasp as I swirl my tongue around the head of his cock. His fingers fist in my hair, not guiding, just holding on as if he needs an anchor. I take him deeper, hollowing my cheeks as I suck, and his hips buck involuntarily.

“Gaida,” he moans, his voice strained. “I’m not going to last.”

I graze my teeth down his length. He twitches against my tongue. Looking up through my lashes, I watch his face contort with pleasure. His eyes are squeezed shut, his lips parted, cheeks flushed. He’s beautiful like this, undone and exposed.

I go back to work, tugging on him gently when I lick him like a lollipop.

“Gaida,” he groans, his hips lifting off the bed. “More?—”

He cuts off with a strangled moan as his orgasm hits him. I don’t stop, taking everything, he gives me, watching his face as he comes undone, his hot cum coating my tongue before it slides down my throat.

When the tremors subside, I crawl up his body and curl against his side. His arm automatically wraps around me.

“Fuck,” he pants. “Fuck.”

We lie together in comfortable silence, our bodies cooling, his heartbeat gradually slowing to a normal rhythm.

“I can’t wait to do that again, properly.”

“That was properly,” I murmur. “For us. For this moment in time.”

“You know what I mean,” he says. “Do you think it will be better or worse as a vampire?”

His musing is thoughtful, not worried or scared. He seems to have accepted this and is now thinking ahead. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“Better,” I say with a smile. “Luke couldn’t keep his hands off me before.”

“I noticed. It was hot,” he says with a sinful smile.

“I suppose we should get back to research. Nothing can go wrong with this ritual to destroy Mashtar,” I say, wishing we could stay here longer, but there is too much to do. Not to mention Draken is still sitting in the vault like a good ancient whatever-the-fuck-he-is. Maybe. Who knows? He might’ve escaped. I sit up, and Felix lets me go. I don’t look back as I slip into the bathroom. If I do, ritual be damned, I will take him and ride him like a fucking pony until we both burst from too many orgasms.

Not exactly conducive to rituals needing virgin blood from a magick user from two worlds.