Page 36 of Blood Lovers (American Vampires #1)

It’s not gonna happen that way because of me.

I am lost in a forest , running and yelling. “Ryet!” I scream it. “Ryet!”

But he doesn’t answer.

I’m barefoot and my feet are all cut up. Every step comes with pain, but I keep going. I keep running. And then a path appears and up ahead there’s a small meadow with sunshine.

If I could just get to the sunshine…

Lucia is suddenly in front of me. I stop abruptly, almost crashing into her. “Well, this isn’t how I saw it going.”

“You bitch! You fucking bitch!” I lunge at her. Not with any kind of cognizant reason, but then again, maybe there is. Because my hands are outstretched, my fingers making a ring, and I’m going to wrap them around her neck and choke the—

“I’m already dead , Syrsee.”

Then I’m on the ground, looking up at her now. “What have you done?” Purple mist floats all around us.

“What have I done? I told you to kill yourself and feed the baby! And what are you doing? Writhing around on the bed with two monsters, sucking blood, and getting off, and none of this was my doing!”

“How?” I’m breathless when I get to my feet. “How am I supposed to do that? I’m stuck between them! I’m literally in the middle of a fucking blood orgy!”

“Didn’t we go over this? The cloak , darling! The fucking cloak!”

And just as those words leave her mouth, the forest fades away and she goes with it.

The cloak.

The purple.

Shit. She’s right. I totally forgot.

I’m… the… night mare ?

Whatever that is.

It doesn’t matter what it is. I’m not even sure I want to know what it is. All that matters is that I know what being the night mare means.

I control the dreamwalk.

And I can trap Paul here. I can take him out of our world and leave him in this one. All I have to do is find him, really. And… then… well, I’m not sure.

But ya know what I am sure of? Fuck this shit. Fuck. This. I will not spend my life between these two monsters in a blood orgy.

I won’t.

I’d rather die.

And just as I think these words, like the goddamned purple is a living, breathing thing that can read my mind, I’m in that snowy clearing again. The very one where I saw Paul the vampire for the first time.

Only he’s not here.

Something else is.

A baby wrapped in furs. It is crying softly. Leftover sobs, maybe. Like it’s been crying for hours already and has finally given up. I take a step in that direction on instinct, but then I hear the sound of footsteps on snow behind me and when I turn, I find him there. Watching me.

Paul.

“Are you ready now?”

I straighten up. Gather myself. It’s not fear I’m trying to push away. It’s uncertainty. Because I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what comes next. I have not been properly prepared for this role I’m playing. I force the bravado. “Depends, I guess. On what you expect me to do.”

“ Do ?” Paul chuckles, his eyes bright with mischief. “You have performed like a champion, love. Now it’s time to get your promise.”

I scoff. “Ya know what? Whatever it is, I don’t want it.”

“Don’t you?” He walks into the clearing, his fancy polished shoes crunching in the snow.

I make myself stay still. Not take a step back as he comes up to me, so close I have to tip my head up to look him in the face. I have never noticed just how looming he can be. I’m not a short woman, either. I’m actually pretty tall. And my eyes only come up to his shoulders.

He pushes a piece of hair away from my eyes and I get this clenching feeling in my gut. A feeling that’s new to me, but also familiar.

Because it’s the feeling you get when you realize you’ve been lied to.

He is tender, yes. But only when he’s lying.

“I have not lied to you.”

And he’s soft too. But only when he wants something.

“You’re wrong, Syrsee. I have already gotten what I need from you.” He places the flat palm of his hand against my cheek and strokes me like I’m his lover. “All I want to do now is pay you for your troubles.”

I want to throw up. The muscles of my stomach tighten, ready to do this, but I close my eyes and force it down. Because he’s right about one thing—he’s not lying now. This is a transaction to him. My blood for… “What do I get?”

“Depends on how long you would like to play.”

“I don’t want to play at all.”

“You would like to leave.”

“Will you let me?”

“Let you? I told you, Syrsee, you’re not my prisoner. You are here of your own free will.”

I mean, technically, he’s right. I agreed to all of it. But it was a trick, too. Because if he had spelled this all out in the beginning, he knows I would’ve said no.

“You would not have said no. You love him.”

He points over my shoulder and I see that the baby is gone. The fur it was lying in has fallen to the snow. And in its place is Ryet, sitting on the fallen tree trunk, hands bracing himself so he doesn’t fall over. His head is hanging forward and his wild, dark hair covering his face. He’s naked, and shivering, and his teeth are chattering.

“Remember how hot he was?”

I look back up at Paul and nod.

“Well, now he’s not. He’s changing, Syrsee. And if you want to walk away, you’re free to go. We have some blood saved. I’ll find you when I need you again. In fact, I would prefer that you walk away. He’s mine, after all. Not yours. And it’s going to take time for him to adjust to his new… well”—Paul smiles, lifting his hands up in a shrug—“his new everything.”

I scoff again. “Do you really think I’ll fall for that?”

“For what? The truth?”

“Maybe it is the truth. But it’s some kind of reverse psychology bullshit. It’s not even letting me go. In the same sentence you tell me I am free, and then that you’ll come find me when you need to bleed me out.”

Paul laughs. “Do you want to hear my promise or not?”

“Whatever.”

“If you stay, I will share him with you.”

“Fuck you, Paul.” This might be the first time I’ve used his name in a conversation and it feels… well, a lot more personal than it should.

“I will share Ryet with you because you were right. It is a transaction. Even Ryet is a transaction. He’s very pretty. And he’s going to be positively angelic by the time he’s done transforming. So much like Josep.”

I frown here at the name.

“The one who made him for me. Josep. You’ll meet him eventually. But that’s a long way off. My promise is that you and Ryet can be together. And the two of you can have a baby, Syrsee. I’ll show you how it can be done.”

I guffaw before I can stop myself. I pause, let that sink in a little further, than guffaw again.

“What’s wrong? Do you hate children?”

“This is your promise? A child ? Let me guess, will it be a girl? Will I have to kill it? Or hand it over to you to feed on?”

He just stares at me, expressionless, his eyes searching mine, darting from one to the other as he thinks. And this stare seems to go on for lifetimes before he finally speaks. “You could do either of those things. Or”—he side-eyes me—“you could take it to the Guild.”

“What? Why the fuck would I do that?”

He pushes his way past me and walks over to the tree trunk where Ryet is sitting. Then he picks up the fur and drapes it over Ryet’s shoulders. Ryet doesn’t move. I don’t think that’s him, just some ghost of him in our shared dreamwalk. Some kind of vampire magic, maybe. Paul sits down next to him and points to the trunk of the tree on the other side of Ryet. “Sit, Syrsee.”

I study this scene for a moment, trying to make sense of things. Because this is, what, the third time I’ve been in this winter forest? The third time I’ve seen this tree trunk?

The first time it was empty.

The second time it was Paul gazing down at a baby.

And now it’s the three of us. But the baby was here first, so there’s something to that. I’m just not sure what. Of course, the obvious answer is that it was the baby I will have if I stay with these bloodsuckers. Some abomination. A witch, or a vampire, or something even worse.

But I don’t think that’s it.

I’m missing a piece of this story.

“Syrsee.”

“What?”

“Sit down so we can chat.”

I blow out a long breath of air and then walk over to them and take my seat.

Paul is pleased with my compliance because he chuckles. “You have questions about the child. I can hear these questions in your head. And you are right. It’s not as simple as… well, us creating a little family together.”

“Gross.”

“I’m going to ignore that because you’re confused. Let me explain. This baby would be the new breed of Black witch, Syrsee. And trust me when I tell you this, the Guild will want her.”

I peek around Ryet so I can see Paul’s face, my hands slipping under the furs to feel Ryet’s cold, cold shoulder. “Her? So it will be a girl?”

Paul’s smile is soft, and charming, beautiful Paul is back. The one my grandma met when she was a little girl. “They will be girls. And there is a good reason to take them to the Guild. Because the Guild will do everything in their power to protect them from the Obscurati.” I make a face of confusion, so he adds, “My bosses. They will want you, as well. And once they realize that I have succeeded—that my punishment is now over and the Darkness and I have reconciled—oh, they will want us all, Syrsee. But if you take these girls to the Guild, they will be safe and so will you. And not only that, Syrsee, they will reward you for coming home to them and let you read the books.”

For a moment I’m stunned. Then I just want to laugh. Because it’s laughable, right?

Magic books? A baby witch? The Guild? Some vampire Illuminati?

What the actual fuck have I gotten myself tangled up in?

“No.” I shake my head. “No. That’s not how this ends.”

“Isn’t it? The Darkness has already chosen you, Syrsee. The Darkness let Josep feed, and then I fed on Josep, and then you fed on me, dear sweet. Don’t you see? You’re one of us now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Didn’t I just spell it out for you?”

“What does it mean, asshole!”

“Mean? It means you are special, Syrsee. You have the Darkness inside you now. It’s flowing through your veins this very moment. It will stay there forever. You will feed it to Ryet, and I will take some every now and then, and…” He actually pauses to sigh . “And then it will propagate in this world through you now, love. You are the new mother of all demons. You are the dark now too, Syrsee. And from here… we rule the world.”

My mind is spinning through all that bullshit. The whole forest is spinning. And the purple—holy fuck, there is so much purple. Images begin flashing through my mind.

A clearing. A man and a baby. The fur, the snow, the tree. The Darkness, whatever that really is. The blood, the teeth, the claws, the wings.

The future.

And me. And so many, many babies.

Who are not really babies, but demons.

I almost snort out a laugh. And then I make a decision.

No. I say it out loud, just so I’m clear. “ No .”

Lucia is in my head, whispering, “Now, Syrsee. Now .”

And the cloak, the soft, soft cloak of fur that Paul draped over Ryet’s shoulders, is already in my hands. I stand up and I throw it over top of Paul. He puts his hands up—maybe out of instinct, but then again, maybe he knows who I am and what I can do with the purple.

But it doesn’t matter. The cloak is my power because I made it my power.

Lucia is chuckling in the background, her words drifting through the misty, lavender forest. “That is very literal, darling.”

As soon as the fur cloak touches Paul’s hands, they disappear. When it covers him, he disappears too. And then, before I can even come to terms with what is happening, it’s just a fur, on a log, in the middle of a snowy forest.

Paul is trapped here now.

Can I find him again? Is this forever? Or is there a way to bring him back?

I don’t know. I don’t care.

Ryet is gone as well. But he wasn’t really here. That was Paul’s magic. He’s back on that bed and that’s where I need to be too.

Because Lucia was right.

Ryet needs to die.

Even if I have to kill myself to do it, he must die.

Maybe the Darkness wins. Maybe the Darkness takes over the world. Maybe some woman really does pop out a bunch of evil demon babies. Maybe that’s really how all this ends.

But I swear to that good-for-nothing God above, it’s not gonna happen that way because of me .