Page 34 of Blood Lovers (American Vampires #1)

Filled with cravings.

Him. Himself. The vampire Paul. He’s standing over me as I attempt to force my eyes to open all the way. It’s a losing battle. “Lucia…” My mouth is dry and this word is really nothing more than a rasp.

“Don’t worry about her, darling.” Paul is actually smiling. “She’s been dealt with. How are you feeling?”

How am I feeling ? I take a deep breath, but just end up coughing it back out.

“Yes. I can imagine.” Paul’s fingertip swipes against my lip and I taste blood.

I spit and writhe, trying not to take his blood. But I’m still chained to the wall and there’s not much I can do. He forces his finger inside my mouth and then he leans down to my face, so close to me I can feel the heat of his breath. “If you bite me, I will enjoy it. And you will get more than your share of my blood, sweets. So don’t do that. Just take what I offer. We need to get going now. Ryet is here. Right next to you.”

I turn my head and I swear, the pain shoots right through my brain. Like a spear has pierced my skull.

“She gave you some nasty, nasty stuff, Syrsee. But it will only take a moment to wear off now that my blood is inside you. Did she make promises to you?”

I don’t answer him or even open my eyes.

“I’m sure she did. And perhaps you even thought it was a fair trade. But you haven’t heard my promise yet. So don’t make any more deals without me. OK, love?”

There is a low groan next to my ear and I startle.

“Shhhhh.” Paul isn’t talking to me anymore. He’s talking to Ryet.

“Paul. No.”

“Quiet now, Ryet. We’re ready to begin. In just a few minutes you’re going to feel much, much better. Let me just get you properly situated.”

Paul maneuvers Ryet’s body so that his mouth is poised right in the crook of my neck. Ryet’s breath tickles the tiny hairs near my ear and a craving rises inside me as I close my eyes, waiting for what comes next.

I want him. I do. I want to love him, and be with him, and feed him.

But Ryet turns his head, moaning again. “No. No!”

There is a struggle. I don’t open my eyes to watch it because it doesn’t even matter.

He’s going to bite me.

He’s going to drink me.

And I’m going to love it.

Just as I think this last thought, I feel the tip of his teeth. The fangs. The ones he showed me back at the spa. I hold my breath, waiting for it, knowing how it feels, but still so surprised when he sinks them into me and I moan like I’m having an orgasm.

Paul is delighted. He’s talking. Animated. Happy. I can’t process his words, just his mood. And Ryet is climbing on top of me now, sinking his whole face into my neck, drawing the blood out of me. With every suck I want to explode from the bliss.

The bliss.

I don’t know how much time passes. I think I black out. Which, now that I’m coming to again, makes sense. Because Lucia took so much.

Briefly, like for less than a moment, I wonder where Lucia is. But that moment passes and I no longer care.

Ryet has calmed down now, but he’s made a new bite into my wrist and he has it pressed up to his lips. Every few moments he sucks like a baby on a breast. His head is on my chest, one arm thrown across my hips. His legs scissor into mine.

“He’s asleep.”

I turn my head and find Paul in bed with us. He’s lying next to me, looking down at me, smiling at me. “You’ve done it. I owe you.”

I manage a scoff, but not much else. I’m so weak.

“He’s going to need more. A lot more. But you must recover first. Can you guess what comes next?”

I don’t look at Paul. And I don’t need to guess. I already know he’s going to feed me.

And I wish I had the strength to say no. Not the physical strength to resist him—though I don’t have that either—but the mental strength.

Because I want that blood. I want to taste him. I want to taste both of them now. And I want them to feast on me too.

“That’s right.” Paul says this like he’s reading my mind, and he’s pushing a piece of sweaty hair away from my eyes. “That’s right, Syrsee. You want us. And we want you. And this is just a tiny peek at the promise I’m going to make you now. Your grandma told you about my promises, didn’t she?”

She did. She actually told me most of this, in her own way. I was just… too na?ve, I guess, to understand what I was in for.

And now look at me. I’m over.

Syrsee is gone. She will never come back. I’m going to spend my life as the feeder to vampires.

“Oh, come now, girl. It’s not that bad.” Paul is stroking my cheek, angling his body into me. I open my eyes and watch his fingertips play with Ryet’s dark hair just below my chin.

I tilt my head up so I can see Paul’s face. “Beautiful.” He smiles at my description of him. “My grandma called you beautiful.”

“Well, she was as pretty as they come as well. Not as you saw her, of course. But when she was a small girl, she was so pretty. And her blood, Syrsee. It was intoxicating. I loved every drop I drank from her.” He pauses to gaze into my eyes, his smile—his whole face, actually—so gentle. Like he really is capable of loving me. “I do love you, Syrsee. I love them all. I am not a monster of hate. I am thankful. Grateful for you and what you give me. And I will give you back double .”

I close my eyes tight, his words suddenly reminding me of Zusi.

Then Paul is petting my head, soothing me with little kisses to my cheek. “You can’t blame them, Syrsee. The Guild is… well, the Guild. They are like bankers. Greedy fuckers who only want the blood. They stole some from you, did they?”

I open my eyes and nod up at him. My head is starting to clear a little. I’m still having trouble focusing, but at least I’m not seeing two of him.

“Black blood. They killed you to get it, did they?”

I nod again. Only this time I sob as well. I cannot fucking believe they did that to me. It feels like… rape .

“Yes.” Paul is stroking my cheek now. “It was certainly a violation. But I didn’t violate you, did I? No. I didn’t. I never took your blood. Not a single drop. You came here of your own free will. I never take it by force. It is always given willingly.”

“A promise,” I moan out.

“That’s right. An exchange. Even my little girls get to make a choice. I ask them sweetly if I can feed and then I ask what they would like in return. They want cookies, Syrsee. Or clothes. Or houses, once they get older. Money, men, sex, drugs. Sometimes they want my blood back. I don’t give them that. And that’s usually a sign that they are done with me and need to come here and feed Lucia, Josep, and the halfbreeds. They are typically young—ten or so—when they get that first itch of rebellion. I share them once they come here, but in the beginning, it is just me and them. I’m sorry that we never got that chance to bond. But you were made specifically for Ryet. I could not take from you. And I’m not going to lie, Syrsee, it was a struggle. That’s why I made the deal with the Guild. In some ways, I am weak. Fresh, young blood makes me weak. So if you need an excuse to save that friendship you’re craving so hard right now”—I look up and meet his eyes. Ice-blue eyes—“there it is, darling. I made them do it.”

I look away, shaking my head. I will never forgive them. Ever.

“Suit yourself. You don’t need them anyway. You have me now. And Ryet. And we have a spectacular future ahead of us. But first…” Paul sits up a little. “I would like you to drink from me. It will replenish what we’ve taken and make it so Ryet can feed thoroughly. He will wake up after that, Syrsee. And the two of you can have a conversation about what has happened. I know he didn’t handle this well, but you have to understand that’s just his way. He’s afraid, you see. He’s afraid to love anything or anyone because he knows what it feels like to lose everything.”

I think about this. About his family. His wife and children. And how Paul killed them.

And what it must feel like to be Ryet. A monster in the making. Addicted to the very creature that took everyone and everything you ever loved away.

“We can work all that out, darling.” Paul is petting my head again. “And I do have a very nice promise to make you.”

“What is it?”

“Not yet. Drink me first. I want to feel your lips on my skin. I want to feel you sucking the blood out of me. I want to hold you while you do this. And then—then I will make the promise. Because then I will want that blood back.”

I will want that blood back . Interesting way to put it. He wants me to feed on him, then he will feed on me. “What will it do?”

“The exchange?”

“Yes.”

“It will bond us, dear. Forever.”

“Will it make you stronger?”

“No. Not exactly. But it will move things forward.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Nor should you. I just explained. You will need to drink me first before I can make that promise. Vampires are a stepwise species. We are patient, we are deliberate, and we are careful. So you can feed from me and we can take that next step. Or you can refuse and just feed Ryet. And if you choose the latter, then I’m afraid my plans will all be revised.”

“You mean I will be left behind.”

“Not exactly left behind, dear.” He chuckles, like I’m stupid. “I still need you to feed Ryet. It’s going to take weeks, Syrsee. He will go through a considerable transformation. But after that—if you refuse to join us?” I can feel Paul shrug against me. “You’re on your own. Until we need you again.”

Lucia’s words come into my mind. Where is she? But I don’t waste my time looking around for her. She said, He’s not letting you walk away, darling. When he told you that, he meant to make you realize that you were not a part of his and Ryet’s future. You see, it is just him and Ryet.

And I believe that. It rings true. So what is all this about the promise?

“Drink me and find out, Syrsee.”

I turn my head so I can look at him. Grandma was right. So tender. So considerate. So evil. “How?”

His grin is immediate. “I’ll open the skin for you. I won’t make you chew through me.” And that’s what he does. Like I have already made my decision. And I have, I guess. Because I watch—both fascinated and filled with cravings—as he bites his wrist and the blood trickles down his forearm.

I don’t even have time to think about changing my mind, either. Because he thrusts his wrist up to my mouth and the moment my lips press against his skin there is bliss.

Oh, the bliss …

Immediately , my world turns purple. A deep, dark, royal purple that should indicate that I’m in the past, or the future, or some other realm, but I’m not. I’m standing in the room watching myself feed on the vampire Paul.

Then I see something strange. A pool of liquid. It takes me a moment to realize it’s blood because it’s so red, it’s nearly black. It is a pool about the diameter of a dinner plate and there is a stream—a trail—that my eyes follow. Tracking along to the floor to a body.

Lucia’s body. Lucia’s headless body.

I turn, and find the missing piece. Her green eyes wide, but cloudy now. Her mouth open in a scream. Blood pooling beneath the jagged flesh of her neck.

I gag, lean over, and throw up blood.

“Yes.” It’s Lucia’s voice. And when I straighten up and look to my right, she’s standing next to me wearing a lavender mist like a robe. “It’s gross.” She’s staring at her own dismembered body on the floor, but then she looks at me. “Why is he so fascinated with taking off heads?”

I scowl, then manage a shrug.

“Oh, well. I knew it was coming. Obviously.” She smiles at me. “And now it is done and I can stop thinking about it.”

Finally, I find my voice. And my panic. “What the fuck is happening!”

“Well. You are feeding Ryet, Paul is feeding you, and I’m dead.”

“I thought you had a fucking plan, Lucia!”

“Darling.” She brings her hand up to my cheek, pressing it lightly as she smiles. “This is the plan.”

“What plan? I’m feeding my boyfriend my blood and his… his… his blood lover is feeding me his! Your head is over there, Lucia! This is not a plan!”

“Calm down! We don’t have much time. You will start feeling the true effect of his blood any minute now. You can’t take much the first time. You think you can.” Her face morphs into a distant expression, like maybe she’s thinking about the first time she fed. “But you can’t. It will take years for your body to adapt. The initial bliss you feel is just a chemical reaction. Oxytocin, if I remember correctly. It’s to get you past the revulsion of blood in your stomach.”

The other me, the one on the bed, gags and spits out some blood. Paul is petting her like a dog and whispering into her ear.

“What is he saying?”

“Lies, Syrsee. He is nothing but lies. He doesn’t love Ryet and he certainly doesn’t love you. He’s trying to find the Darkness again. To get his power back. That’s all he cares about. And Ryet is his path to that power and you are his path to Ryet. Do you see?”

“He’s just using us.”

“That’s right. That’s all Paul ever does. He takes, Syrsee. And he’s evil. Far, far more evil than you can ever imagine. And that is why we’re going to lock him up, remember?” She smooths a piece of hair away from my face and I realize this is something they both do when they’re feigning concern. “Hmm? Remember? We do have a plan, Syrsee. And we are right on track.”

She steps away from me then, walks a few paces and picks something up near the curved wall. She holds it up, showing me the syringe. “This was a decoy. I needed him to kill me in order to get my second-level powers.”

“Second… what?”

Lucia smiles. Her green eyes twinkle. “Your grandma isn’t dead, you know. None of them are, Syrsee. Black witches—even lowly, halfbreed ones like me—all come into a second life once we leave the human realm. It’s in the purple, darling. We come from the purple and to there we shall return.”

“Why am I always the last to know this shit?”

“Because of him, Syrsee.” She points to Paul. “And him.” She points to Ryet. “And the Guild, of course.”

A stab of pain runs through my heart when she says that word. Zusi . It was all a lie.

“Now.” Lucia pretends to straighten her misty lavender dress. Her image shimmers a little when she walks over to the armoire, but then solidifies again. As much as she can, since she’s literally made of mist. She picks up another syringe, holding it up so I can focus on it. “This is the one we need.”

“You’re going to kill me now?”

“No. I’m afraid not. I can’t affect you on that plane there.” She points to the me on the bed.

I have trouble looking at that other me. My whole mouth is stained with blood. And that creepy smile on Paul’s face as he watches me drink… it’s all so revolting.

“You must do this part yourself, Syrsee.”

“I have to kill myself?”

“Just jab the needle into your thigh and then get Ryet to feed on you. It will take about twenty minutes to fully invade your bloodstream.”

“I,” I say again, “have to kill myself.”

“Of course.” Lucia is looking at me like I’m stupid. Like this is obvious. Like she has spelled this out to me seventy-two times and I’m such a simple child, I have failed to grasp the concept. “I know I said I would bring you back, but I can’t, darling. I’m dead.”

“You lied.” Now I’m just angry.

“Well, if I had survived Paul’s attack I would’ve been happy to bring you back. But… it wasn’t in the cards.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing? What is your purpose here?”

“I’m the one with the information.”

“Ya know what it sounds like to me?”

“I can’t wait to hear.” Her tone is deadpan, her words sarcastic.

“It sounds to me like you’re just trying to off all three of us at once.”

“Clever, clever girl.” But it’s sarcasm again. “Of course that’s what I’m doing. I told you that. We can’t kill Paul, but we can trap him. Ryet needs to go. And in order to do that, he must feed on your dead, black blood. I don’t know why you’re pretending that this is some new revelation, but—”

I stop listening. Because she did say all that. I did know this was how it ends. And what other choice is there, really?

I don’t know Ryet. We’ve spent a few days together. That’s it. He’s nothing to me. And the only thing I am to him is… food.

But I’m mad that my life is over because of these assholes. It pisses me off.

“Syrsee.” I can hear the worry in Lucia’s voice. All that sarcasm that was there a few moments ago is gone. “What do you have to live for?”

“Excuse me?”

“What? Tell me. Do you have family? Do you have friends?”

“Fuck you.”

“You have nothing. You weren’t born, dear. You were bred. You are food. That’s it. That’s your purpose. And you have a chance to change the world. To rid this realm of monsters. America, at least. There are other witches working on the vampires of the Old World though. And soon—in a matter of months, maybe—the whole world will be free of these abominations. You are literally saving the world from evil. That is the role of the night mare.”

I turn away from her, confused now. Because this sounds like a promise. One where I get nothing in return but some vague satisfaction as I depart this world, knowing that I killed the one thing Paul needed to gain more power.

The sound of me—other me—gagging on blood fills the room. Then more whispers from Paul, trying to soothe me, trying to encourage me to take more and more of his blood.

“You have less than a minute before you get too sick to drink. And then I will disappear, Syrsee. I will go on my way, back into the purple, and I probably won’t be able to guide you again. So it’s up to you now. Will you save the world? Or will you be greedy and shallow and save just yourself?”

Just as this last word comes out of her mouth, the purple disappears and I am on the bed throwing up blood.

“Swallow it, Syrsee.” Paul is pinching my lips closed as he whispers into my ear. “Swallow it. Don’t waste it.”

Blood burbles up my throat and spills out of my mouth, past his pinch. Then I’m shaking my head, trying to get away from him.

He does not let me go. “It’s OK. You’ve taken a lot. You’re full now and it’s my turn.”

Before I can even think to protest, his sharp teeth clamp down on my neck, and I almost lose my mind in the bliss.

And while I’m floating in his spell, Ryet stirs. He claws his way up my body, and then, an instant later, his teeth sink into the other side of my neck.

Then they drain me.

And I love it…