Page 114 of Blood in the Water

“No buts. According to the rules of our Family, your father deserved death. But not like that. And Max deserves death for how he went after you. After us.” He lifted a finger and placed it over my lips when I started to protest. “I do not fucking care what he said aboutyoubeing tainted too. You have nothing to do with your father or his mistakes. You’re not responsible for them and do not deserve to pay the price for them.”

His thumb rubbed against my cheek before he withdrew his hand.

“I wanted revenge because I thought my father deserved it. I thought it was the only thing that would fill the gaping hole in my chest. I don’t know. I believed that killing Max would make everything better, like I’d be healed.” Tears were trailing down my cheeks again, and I swiped them away before they could drop. “But my father doesn’t deserve it. And now I have no idea what to do with my life. Am I just going to feel this broken forever?”

He was quiet for a moment before looping our fingers together and interlacing them. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting his touch calm my breaking heart.

“What doyouwant to do?” He watched me carefully, those ocean eyes churning.

“I don’t know.”

He shook his head. “Nope, you have to answer. What doyouwant? Do you want to run and hide? Do you want to hold your head high and walk forward? Do you want to forget about all this and live on a tropical island beach with me for the rest of our lives? If you could do anything right now, what doyouwant to do?”

I smiled softly. “A tropical beach sounds pretty nice right now. With you.”

“Just say the word, princess. I’ll whisk you out of here and find a beach where we can grow old and happy.”

My heart warmed. That might be our future. One day. But it wasn’t right now.

I looked at Cas’s face. At the bandages crisscrossing over his chest. At his splinted fingers and the stitches on his forehead.

“I still want to kill Max.” The rage came flooding back, but this time, it had nothing to do with my father’s death or his legacy andeverythingto do with me, Cas, and what Max had done to us.

It had everything to do with how I’d been shoved into roles my entire life, told I would never be able to handle the business. It had to do with the lies I’d been told and the people my father had hurt.

I didn’t want my father’s legacy, tainted and diseased and destroyed.

I didn’t want Max’s version of a mafia pulled apart from the inside out.

I wantedmychance.

I wantedmypower. Not for anyone else, but just for me. If Fallon could do it with the Irish, I could do it, too. I could be strong, like her, the head of my own Family. I could run my own organization.

This time, I didn’t believe that revenge would heal me or fix me or somehow give me the ability to move on. My goals were shifting to include more than just myself. I wanted to build my future so we couldlive—alongside Cas, who I never wanted to leave my side, and possibly alongside Wynn, Ciel, and Ryuji if they’d still want me in their lives.

They’d made me so much stronger. Without them, I wouldn’t even be here.

“No. I want more than that,” I claimed like I was staking my flag in the ground for the first time. “I want myownlegacy. I want to fix all the shit my father fucked up. I want to help the women he hurt. I want to forge my own future.” I sucked in a breath. “I want to be aDonna.”

“Not aDonna,” he said softly. “Regina.”

The corner of my mouth pulled up. “Regina. Queen.”

He smiled then, my rock, my foundation. “Then that’s what we’ll do. Your father ruined this Family, but you can create your own. For you. Foryourfuture. For the people who will live under your rule. I’ll be right there beside you.”

“Cas.” I pulled his hand to my face and rested my forehead against his knuckles. Tears threatened to burst forth all over again. “I can never thank you enough. I would crumble if you weren’t here.”

“Leona…” He cupped my cheek. “I love you. You own my soul. Every piece of my existence.” His hand slipped from my cheek down to my neck, the other bandaged hand resting against the small of my back. “You are the reason my heart beats and my blood flows. I’ve loved you since you picked me out of the gutter and convinced your father to take me in. I loved you then, and I’ve loved you every day since.”

I leaned into his touch, my heart swelling so large I thought it might burst from my chest.

“I’m so sorry I was so blind?—”

“You don’t have to do that,” he interrupted softly, gently tugging me closer so my chest pressed flat against his. I did my best to keep my full weight off his injuries. “I’m not asking for your declaration of love. I just want you to know. I thought I couldn’t tell you how I felt until I could somehow prove that I was worthy of you. But I was so wrong. I can’t go another day without you knowing the truth. I love you. There is nothing else for me in this world except you.”

His words meanteverythingto me, and I had no idea how much I longed to hear them until they came from his lips.

I loved him. I loved him like he was a piece of my soul, intertwined with the fabric of my being.