Page 62 of Blood Day (Blood Alliance #7)

Lily

What am I doing? I wondered, the metal warm beneath my palms.

Crawling , Cedric replied, his voice loud inside my mind.

That hadn’t been what I’d meant, but I didn’t bother elaborating. Because I wasn’t sure I believed he was here.

No, that wasn’t true.

I didn’t want to believe he was here. Because that would lead to hope, and I couldn’t afford to feel that emotion. Not here. Not in this place. Not when I was so close to death.

Such darkness, Cedric whispered to me. I’ll find a way to return you to the light, sweet Lily flower.

I ignored him and kept crawling. Toward what, I didn’t know. This could all just be a nightmare, or a mental escape, or a suicide mission. I was in hell, as evidenced by the mutilated corpses I’d left behind.

The stench… the blood… the sight of my fate… I nearly gagged just thinking about it, the experience one that would haunt me for the rest of my existence, however short that might be .

I could still feel the claws of death dragging along my senses, threatening to suffocate me in a world of?—

Lily. Cedric’s deep voice infiltrated my thoughts, shifting my focus to his existence inside me. That’s not your future. I’m your future.

I don’t believe you. The words were soft, resembling more of a protest than a plausible statement. I don’t want to believe you.

I know. But I need you to try. Your hope is your strength. Don’t lose it now.

Hope is a weakness.

Yes, he agreed. But not for you.

I continued onward, my throat constricting as the air around me grew warmer, reminding me of the desert. So hot and dry. I tried to swallow, but that only worsened the sensation.

Keep going, Cedric urged, his voice a dizzying spell inside my thoughts. Push through it and I’ll give you what you need.

What does that even mean? I wondered, the tunnel darkening around me the farther I crawled.

When I reached the next layer, I understood why—the passage was narrowing .

I froze, the world around me seeming to close in and suffocate every aspect of my being. I… I can’t.

You can.

I started shaking my head. It’s… it’s…

Growls erupted behind me.

Now, Lily. You can make it through.

I wasn’t sure how he could know that. The space before me appeared to lessen with every inch forward, at least based on what I could see in the low lighting. I’ll get stuck…

You won’t, Cedric promised. Trust me.

Trust you. He kept saying that. And what good had that done? I was stuck in this hot vent, melting to death. Goddess, this might be worse than being ripped apart by a lycan.

It’s not, he immediately replied. Now keep going.

I closed my eyes and stole a deep breath, the stench of death seeming to haunt my nostrils and senses. Either I kept moving forward, or I retreated toward the growls. Are they in the vents?

No, he replied. The water helped distract them from your scent.

Water? I repeated, my eyelashes fluttering as I focused on the darkness once more. Where?

You’ll see soon enough, Lily. Keep going.

Of course he wouldn’t clarify what he meant. This was Cedric. He just expected me to obey at every turn.

Sprinklers, Lily. I had Damien turn on the sprinklers. Now stop thinking and move . The command underlying that final word sent a shudder through my spirit, my body immediately reacting as though he’d compelled me forward.

And perhaps he had.

Because I certainly didn’t possess the desire to continue into this shrinking metal tunnel. Every inch forward made me burn more and more, the air seeming to thin with the enclosing space.

I closed my eyes again, my heart hammering in my chest as I forced myself onward. Oh, Goddess. Oh, Goddess. Oh, Goddess.

I knew chanting in prayer was worthless, but I couldn’t seem to stop. The walls were shrinking. I could feel them now brushing my skin. I flinched as something sharp bit through my thin white gown, and winced as it dragged along my skin, leaving a scratch behind that reminded me of lycan claws.

Screws , Cedric told me. Just a little more, sweetheart. You’re doing great .

I ignored him, his words ones I refused to believe. Because they suggested something good might wait for me at the end of this nightmare, something desirable .

I won’t fall into that trap again , I whispered to myself. There is nothing good in this world. Nothing to hope for. Nothing to enjoy.

Nine months ago, I would have agreed with you. But then you asked me to help you. And my world has never been the same.

I stared into the darkness, my lungs constricting on the thick, hot air as my heart skipped a beat.

You taught me how to live again, Lily, Cedric continued. You taught me how to feel .

Another jagged edge bit into my knees as the space required me to lower to my stomach. It was so small now, barely allowing me to squirm my way through. And it was too dark to see if it continued this way… or became even tighter.

I swallowed, my eyes burning from the heat. My hands moving along the metal, the temperature seeming to increase with each wiggle forward. I… I don’t know… I don’t know if I can…

Another screw dragged along my thighs.

Cedric, I don’t… I nearly yelped as two more sharp ends met my palms. I… I can’t…

You can, Lily. You’re so close.

So close to what? I asked, tears blurring my vision as I fought the heat and the small space and the urge to try to reverse.

But I wouldn’t be able to now. I… I was stuck… I was… I can’t go back… My eyes widened. Cedric, I can’t move back!

If this space became any tighter, I would get stuck. Here. In the vents. In the heat. I’ll… I’ll die…

Then my ties to him would bring me back.

Over and over again .

Dehydration. Confined in a small space. Living. Dying. Being reborn. Just to experience it all over again.

Every part of me froze, my body incapable of inching forward any more, my hands glued to the warm metal beneath me.

Cedric spoke into my mind, but I couldn’t hear him, not over my own thoughts, my nightmarish reality unfolding on repeat as I realized what I’d done.

I’d followed an errant voice, chased a strand of hope, and placed myself in a position far worse than before. Or is it worse? I wondered dizzily. Those lycans were going to shred me apart .

However, then I would have died. Moved on from this world. This life.

Leaving Cedric behind .

But he left me here to die anyway, I thought. Right?

His voice echoed in my mind, or perhaps I dreamt it. No, I’d probably just made it all up, crawling into this tight, hot space, simply because I had hoped he would be waiting for me at the other end.

Yet there was no end here.

Just a closed tunnel lined with razor-like screw bits.

I shivered despite the heat, my nails biting into the metal as a scream lodged in my throat. This was the meaning of torture. There has to be a way out, I thought, helpless to my surroundings. There has to be another path!

My fingers screamed in agony as I yanked myself forward, determined, panicked, desperate.

I could barely breathe, my lungs were so tight, the space closing in around me, crushing me in a metallic hug. Goddess. Goddess. Goddess.

But she wasn’t going to help me. No, she was the orchestrator of this world, the cruel being who subjected all the humans to live in this hell .

I hated her.

Loathed everything she’d created.

Didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of praying to her.

However, I couldn’t find another word to chant.

Fuck , I thought. Yes. That. Fuck. Fuck! I wanted to scream it, to shun all those monsters who had told me I couldn’t curse, all those beings who told me to bow, obey, and supplicate.

I want to burn this fucking building to the ground.

That was what I wanted. Unleash all this fiery air onto the monstrous beings within and end them all. Slice them open with screws. Watch them bleed .

Tears and sweat stung my skin, my dress ripped to shreds as I shimmied my way forward, searching for an exit. Begging fate to free me, by either killing me or giving me light.

So dark.

So hot.

So tight .

More screws. More scorching air. More metallic sides.

I choked back a sob, my heart hammering so hard in my chest that I was sure I might die from overexertion alone. The voice in my head kept talking, Cedric’s tones threatening to give me hope, but I couldn’t— wouldn’t —listen to him.

Why should I?

He wasn’t real. He didn’t care. He’d left me. Abandoned me. Warned me about the moon chase and had done nothing to stop my fate.

I was a passing amusement.

Never truly his.

He’d told me it would have been kind of him to kill me. I believed him now. I believed everything he’d said, every dark and twisted word.

I should have urged him to do it—given him the knife and presented my throat.

Would it have felt like the metal ripping into my flesh right now? I wondered. Would darkness have claimed me so thoroughly?

Because I could no longer see, sweat and tears and the inky abyss consuming me entirely.

No way out.

No escape.

Just endless agony.

A hiccup captured my breath, my body shaking with uncontrollable sobs as I clawed my way forward, blood smearing my palms, painting my skin in tattered lines. Why did I do this? Why did I follow that voice? Why did ? —

My hands hit air.

I blinked. What…?

I shuffled forward a little more, my palms searching for the metal surface that no longer existed along the bottom. The sides were hard, the roof above me solid, and about a foot farther was a dead end, too.

My only option was to go down.

Headfirst.

Into the unknown.

I tried to feel downward a little to touch the metal tunnel, but it didn’t appear to have a bottom. It just… it just kept going.

And the air felt even hotter.

I instinctively tried to shift backward but couldn’t, my wiggling less effective and barely causing me to budge. A strangled sort of sound followed, one I barely understood. Is that me? I wondered as a dizzying sensation overwhelmed me once more. I… How am I…?

That noise echoed again.

Definitely me, I thought, the world seeming to spin once more.